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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Man, I love you (no homo) for updating this chapter so quickly. You're on fire. I got to say that Grey's perverted mind is funny what he is proud of his sexual prowess and lustful of Fluttershy's form. The scene with Eris and the egg was hilarious and I like the way that she expressed satisfaction from her night with Grey. The revelation that Grey got laid was awesome as only Heat was proud of him while the rest of the girls were shocked...and Twilight was deliciously pissed with jealousy. Something tells me that Twilight will act a little cold with Grey in the next chapter. Also, the thing about the statue and the mating for life was kind of sweet.
Yep
I am pleased to see this does not follow the cliche of "father is furious at boy who had sex with his daughter even though daughter initiated it." Though I'm not sure if Grey considers Discord's approval an improvement, given that he's just been told that he is now Eris' life mate. Not sure I like the idea of chaotic creatures having life mates but it does explain why the draconequui are nearly extinct.
You need to watch out with your dialogue attributions. When you have one character speak and a second character perform an action in the same paragraph it gets really confusing. Ideally, under most circumstances, the character who speaks should also be the one performing actions. There are times you want to break that for effect but the entire conversation between Grey and Discord, nearly every paragraph you have one of them speaking and the other one performing an action, which makes it really hard to figure out who's talking.
Reading that line made me think of this.
ha ha yes! I love the back story of Eris, it makes so much sense. And you gave me an answer, double yay. But most of all, I love the bit with twilight. first she's condescending and now she's jelly, this. Is. Glorious. now, this is all obvious to us readers but now, things are going to start getting crazy.
Connor?
4987208 And that is when you know the author is REALLY tired. Wrote that at five in the morning.
4987691 Why do late bro? Latest I stay up is 3am after work
After completely forgetting about what happened at the end of chapter 12, I thought for a good couple mins, during this chapter, that Eris had laid the egg, after all the sexacles, that the ghost left for Grey but she didnt realise it happened
Looks like someone's been burning the candle from both ends. Well so can I, *light's candle* now time for a review:
I knew that there was a purpose to the whole statue thing, but since it takes a long time to get answers in this story I didn't expect it answered so soon.(That's an Academy Record) Now that just leaves two questions, who was responsible for imprisoning Eris and why was she naked when she was imprisoned?
Since the phoenix is Grey's pet, then shouldn't he be the one to name him?
She serving a life sentence, the key work is life. Meaning she can stay for the rest of her life. Unless in this world people live hundreds of years and a life sentence is barely a punishment. Please tell me that Raven isn't Grey's mother, cause I can smell that cliche from a mile away. Although, since Celestia is the goddamn princess she does have the authority to release her if she wanted to. Heh, it can be as simple as this:
Did Discord start taking speech lesson from Jar Jar Binks or something? And I thought he arranged all this because he found out that he was responsible for uncovering Eris and taking care of her.
Awakening period? Not sure what that is or why it makes Grey mad?*end of review*
I think this story has more questions than all your stories combined. 13 chapters and we only had a handful of questions answered only for two more to take it's place(Hail Hydra) I wonder how many chapters will it take Grey to get over this arrange marriage/mating thing(most likely by the end of the next chapter.)
10/10
i was right that almost never happens for story predictions
I cannot get these two chapters out of my head
I feel that there will be a Twilight Eris type of confrontation
i cant not wait to see how twilight takes this news
Ahhhh Yaaa