WARNING
The following contains spoilers up to Chapter four of the Dresden Fillies: False Masks. It also contains a somewhat raunchy brand of humor. Read at your own risk.
The Dresden Fillies: Foolish Mistake
“Oh my goodness! It’s so big.”
Twilight paused just before knocking on the door to her guest room. That had been Rarity’s voice, muffled slightly thanks to the thick door between them, but Twilight had no trouble identifying it as her friend’s. A friend who had shown open interest in Blackstone and was now alone with him in his room.
Twilight shook her head. She’d already jumped to the wrong conclusion after that scene with Pinkie. Rarity was probably talking about his coat or some other object. It was ridiculous to assume that whatever was happening in there was improper.
Blackstone chuckled. “Yeah the size is impressive, but how you use it is what’s important. Want a demonstration?”
Obviously talking about an object, maybe a new staff or some other magical item. Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Twilight told herself. If her mind weren’t so adamant about remaining in the gutter she wouldn’t have imagined a faint rumble of arousal in Blackstone’s voice.
“Oh, yes!” Rarity replied in a voice more sultry than Twilight had ever heard from her. Creaking bed springs soon followed the reply, and the purple unicorn was finding it harder and harder to justify what she was hearing.
“Oh sweet mother of Celestia that feels amazing!” Rarity cried less than a minute into … their activity. Twilight reached for her last excuse, the only possible thing that might explain this other than the obvious conclusion.
Maybe he’s giving her a massage?
Blackstone gave a wordless grunt, the same sound any healthy virile stallion would give when he was …
Giving a really deep tissue massage?
“Oh, Blackstone!” Rarity screamed. “This is the best sex I’ve ever had!”
Twilight’s jaw dropped open, and a crimson flush spread across her face. For a moment she considered running away from that terrible door and never mentioning this to anypony, but then the anger came. This time there was no denying what had happened. This time Pinkie was not going to save him from the fate he so richly deserved.
A burst of magic tore itself from her horn and the door slammed open, leaving a huge dent and a spider web of cracks in the wall behind it. Twilight levitated into the room her eyes on fire, ready to deliver her righteous judgment and wrath upon the lecherous stallion.
Only to find the room, and bed, empty. The sole occupant of the room and the one apparently responsible for the sounds she’d been hearing grinned at her from the dresser.
“So,” Bob leered, “how’d you like the show?”
His screams echoed throughout the library for the next hour, and it would be an understatement to call them ‘soul-chilling’.
pppffffft
Snerk
snort
I've said as much before, and I'll say it again: Bob is the greatest character in the history of the universe.
I bet she made him cite his sources during a research session.
I have to think Rarity would be extremely miffed at Twilight for interrupting, if it hadn't been Bob playing a prank. 'The best sex I've ever had' means it's not her first rodeo, to put it mildly, so it's her business who she lets in her business.
3848503
If it is the only sex she'd ever had, it would still be the best sex she'd ever had. And also the worst, but Rarity would hardly say that.
3848196
I love his (RL) origin story.
>Jim, talking with Debbie (writing teacher) about maybe designing a character whose fundamental function was to have conversations with Harry about the nature of magic
>Debbie: "Sounds fine, but whatever you do, don't create some kind of talking head."
> Jim:
PERFECTO!
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/130842.png?1378806265
Hey now, Twi, if Rares wants to bang Dresden that's her decision :P
Very rude to interrupt what you thought was going on.
Bob, you are such a troll.
Twilight, quit being a bitch: if Rarity and Pinkie want to get it on with Hotty Dresden that's their decision and Dresden shouldn't be treated like a scoundrel for it.
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To be fair, doing it under Twi's roof while she right outside the door is kind of rude as well.
3850917 Yes, and it is hilarious!!!!!!
lol
Would not call Twilight dishing out soul-shearing pain to something which was well aware of it "funny".
Dip him in whitewash or soap. Set/surround him with kiddy books.
Sick Gummy on him.
lol!!!!
Awesome. Just Awesome.
Holy fuck, I should not be reading this in public. I couldn't stop laughing and I got so many weird looks.
Go, Twilight, Go! Burn the Ambomination! Burn it GOOD!
Ahh. Good old Bob
Bob you had that coming.
Bob... you dun goofed... Big time!
3855031
Right? If they're going to do that, it's only polite to invite her to participate as well!
Poor, Bob. We hardly knew him.
Eh, he totally reserved it.