Tropical Sorrows

by Microshazm

4. Soda Pop Culture

4. Soda Pop Culture

~ The darkness through which we are groping is too thick for us to make any pronouncements about it; we cannot even say that it is doomed to last.

The night never escalated; the rumbling bassline didn’t get much louder or more elaborate. But with the human aspects it was a completely different story, as the dancing, music, and singing went through many different phases and showed no signs of ceasing until sometime in the very early morning, when the temperature began to warm up from the steep drop that occurred right after the rain.

Twilight made a note about this, but it didn’t help with their sleep-wake rhythms that now were terribly out of place. Claude should have informed them about this, she thought. Though they could sleep until noon like the tribe did, it still was quite the ordeal – a tribulation, one might say.

The ponies eventually managed to get up, still a little tired and definitely hungry, for the “food” they’d been given last night hadn’t really been the feast they’d hoped for.

“And the same thing for breakfast!?” Applejack cried and the others backed her up with disgruntled statements of their own. Their and the tribe’s lunchtime breakfast was served in the same metal bowls from earlier – and was chugged down with the same hard plastic straws. Orange soda.

Rarity stared quietly into her bowl of the fizzling goodness, breathing rather heavily. It wasn’t much of surprise that she was taking the situation the worst. She had developed a ‘fine’ taste for cuisine over the past years. So, while the others were already sniffing out for edible plants, Rarity just went on with her staring competition against the orange puddle.

Twilight nudged Pinkie Pie and pointed at Rarity. “Pinkie, the cupcakes in your saddlebags. I think this would be an excellent opportunity to ask Rarity’s opinion about them.”

Pinkie tilted her head a little and lifted an eyebrow. “Really? That would get Rarity talking
again. Didn’t you just say that the silent kinda Rarity is the best Rarity?”

“Shh, Pinkie...”

“Just kidding. I’ll go get her one right away!”

Twilight sighed. Of course she hadn’t meant it that way, but Rarity had been a severe annoyance last night, complaining about every little detail and often with overdramatic claims of how bad some things were. It had just slipped out of Twilight’s lips after Rarity had fallen asleep – a minute before she had done the same.

The ponies also got their first look on the women and children of the tribe. They had obviously been up for many hours already. The children followed their mothers as they went about with daily chores, gathering firewood and carrying water. Twilight noticed that only men were allowed to carry the aluminium bowls, as well as enter the largest hut. It also came clear that while the men did each other’s hairdos, the women dealt with the body painting. The painting process was another subject of wonder: the women had transparent, square sheets of extremely thin material which they latched onto the men’s bare skins. While it seemed to be for nothing at first, the covered skin quickly began to change colour. Dark red, blue, green, and black were the most common, but Twilight could spot brighter ones such as orange as well.

Klapi interrupted Twilight’s musings with a loud holler from a dozen metres away, where he stood with both Noki and Savu. The two men were significantly darker than Klapi, though most of the skin was covered in a blue and red pattern. The ponies walked up to the tribesmen; Twilight leading the way.

“Hey, Klapi and... guys,” Twilight began, “I was wondering if you could –”

“No, Twilight! That’s not how you do it at all!” Pinkie Pie cut in and jumped between her and Klapi, “when you want to get the message across, you must forget all nonsense formalities” – she turned to look Klapi in the eyes – “We want visit big house. You take us ponies visit big house?” Twilight was stunned, but Klapi seemed to reach a conclusion of some kind judging by his rapid, almost shakelike nodding.

“Lesponeys ha’lou haoutan,” Klapi told his companions and they began nodding too. He turned back to the ponies with a small smile on his lips. “Toullcka mouckan, Lesponeys.” Klapi gestured the ponies to follow the trio through the middle of the village, which made sure that absolutely everyone had a chance to see them in daylight. And just like in Jakarta, most eyes were glued onto Rainbow Dash who backstroked in the air.

Their way to the forest trail went past the village’s concrete block. Twilight was sure she saw a head take a peek at them from the tiny window. The trail was a small one and pretty rarely used considering its semi-organic condition. A shortcut, or the tribesmen stayed away from the main routes on purpose, Twilight thought.

A half hour trek in the uneven, though steadily rising terrain led the group to a clearing and only several metres away from a discrete entrance to the building. The wall they were facing was quite dull with its prefabricated concrete slabs coated with dark grey pigment. A single aluminium ventilation pipe adorned the corner on the left. Despite looking like it had been dropped out of the sky, the six-storey high building featured a concrete foundation. Klapi jogged to the door, pulling it open and first letting Noki and Savu in. Twilight had already taken the first steps toward the entrance when Fluttershy’s voice halted her: “Are you sure we all have to come in? It looks so – well, not scary but quite forbidding to be honest.”

Twilight briefly frowned at her until changing to a more amicable expression. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! These people have been living in relatively unchanged conditions for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and it all changed just fifteen years ago when the corporation introduced them to modern technology. This place is like a small scale case study on all the new stuff Equestria has got from Earth! I’m positive Princess Celestia wouldn’t want us to walk away from a chance such as this.” Twilight felt a twinge of pride flowing into her. All the deductions she was making; finally something truly useful after all these years.

“Now hold on a minute,” said Rainbow Dash, “weren’t we supposed to rescue a scientist, Emsy what’s-her-name-now, or something?”

Twilight nodded. “Hemsy, yes, but the e-mail I got from Celestia wasn’t very big on the details, so–”

“Twilight, darling, did I just hear you use the words ‘e-mail’ and ‘from Celestia’ in the same sentence?” Rarity glared harshly at Twilight, while the other ponies were unable to decide whether they should be enjoying the show or just plain worry.

The moment felt like an eternity, but ultimately Twilight came to a realisation: “Oh, horseapples.” By then, however, Rarity had already taken the express train to coma.

Klapi was polite enough to wait for Rarity to wake up, which gave Twilight some time to work out some sense into the situation, even though everything seemed to point at crazy at the moment. But something had to make sense! It certainly wasn’t impossible for the Princess to send her electronic mail; it was the first instance, sure, but Spike was currently shooting Son of the Dragon Warrior in the North Island of Aotearoa and therefore not available. The lost scientist was a real issue, the opportunity really was golden, and the pilot had been there waiting for... the ambassadors.

Twilight closed her eyes and massaged her temples. This had to be shrugged off for now. No decisions could be made before they talked with Claude.

A lump in her throat made her cough violently – if Claude would even be there anymore.

“Y’alright, Twi?” asked a concerned voice.

“Just fine, Applejack. I’m fine.” She cleared her throat for good and turned back to the others. “Fluttershy can stay outside if she wants to, but not alone.” Her quick scan found a raised blue hoof.

“I volunteer. Not a fan of tight spaces,” Rainbow Dash stated and got an approving nod from Twilight. Pinkie Pie and Applejack were glad to join her, and to her surprise even Rarity gave an encouraging response, though it was a little creepy that she didn’t mention the e-mail thing upon waking up.

“If this place is going to kill me, it might as well do it indoors.” A little macabre, but encouraging all the same.

Twilight apologized to Klapi for making him wait, but the young man looked just as content as upon arrival ten minutes ago. The door opened to a huge hall filled with steel walkways, round pools of different liquids, and tribesmen which all bore the same blue-red pattern and thus were only distinguishable by their hairdos and the knives they carried. The ponies set off to follow Klapi around in the hall.

“Apila,” Klapi said, pointing to another man with long, curly hair and a small cheese knife. He waved and yelled something back at Klapi, who just smiled and went on. “Tenava,” said Klapi, his hand towards a large, dark man with a machete. He also waved at Klapi.

“Kohina, Sekava, Sikana, Himoja...” Everyone they met, everyone they saw; Klapi told them who it was and nothing more. By the size of the place it wasn’t too hard to guess if the list would reach astronomical lengths. But they still couldn’t just wander off to wherever, both in fear of ending up lost and accidentally agitating the tribesmen, who’d so far been nice to them. Twilight figured the knives had some other purpose than fighting, or even crafting or cooking. Nevertheless, after spotting a very nasty-looking bonesaw on a burly man, Vanukas, she didn’t want to lock it in just yet.

“This place’s more borin’ than a salt mine,” Applejack muttered quietly. Despite crossing multiple platforms and walkways in several different floors, Klapi was still walking them around the same hall.

“You’ve missed the really fancy ones,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Salt mines can be fancy? That’d be a first.”

“Don’t be so negative, AJ. You gotta try and find the silver lining more often.” Pinkie beamed at Applejack, who only managed a faint smile. Whether Pinkie was bored herself or not it didn’t show in her demeanour. Whatever happens, Pinkie’ll smile at ya, Applejack thought. How’s that for a silver lining?

Rarity interrupted them, still abnormally pleased with the scenery as well as the activity: “Oh, Pinkie Pie and your love of dead things. You’re a rare gem in a mountain of dirt – she plumped up her mane a bit – oh wait, that was me. Yes, Rarity.”

Rarity turned immediately back to Klapi’s presentation. Pinkie Pie found Applejack giving her a concerned look, pointing at Rarity. For once she didn’t smile; just shook her head and whispered: “Yep, Rarity’s not okay.”

“...Vasara, Kanuuna, Nauha... ya Brandon.” Klapi stopped; he didn’t wave, point or yell at any direction. Soon the ponies, Twilight included, let out a collective sigh of relief.

“He’s done! Thank Celestia, he’s done!” cried Rarity.

“I’m not too sure about the others, but this Brandon sounds awfully familiar,” Pinkie said, scratching the back of her head, “Applejack, didn’t you have a cousin called Brandon?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You silly-filly. Have you forgot about your cousin Brandon?”

“Pinkie, I haven’t. My cousin’s name’s Braeburn.”

“You sure? Why would anypony have Braeburn for a name? You must write to Brandon before you forget you had a cousin at all!”

“Shut up, you two!” Twilight yelled. She responded to Applejack’s and Pinkie’s confused gazes with an agitated frown. “I know you’re bored but please be quiet! I need to think. Did anypony notice which way Klapi was pointing, when he said Brandon?”

Pinkie Pie and Applejack both shrugged, so Twilight turned to Rarity, who tried to look like she wasn’t paying attention to her company. Rarity answered their stares with a couple of sideways glances, but gave in as the others didn’t relent their pressure.

“Well, I don’t know of any Brandon,” she began, her hoof lightly scraping the floor, “I was admiring the stylish gentleman leaning against the wall over there.”

Twilight’s expression twisted from forced calmness to suppressed rage and back. “What?” Who?”

Rarity turned her eyes toward the ceiling. “Well, you can’t expect me to marvel at these savages, now can you?” She pointed her hoof at a relatively plain wall a dozen metres from their position. It didn’t take long to indeed notice a stranger wearing western clothing leaning its back against the wall. The person was wearing a black boater hat and a pink shirt with his dark, casual suit that didn’t include a tie. Closer inspection revealed tinted glasses with small lenses that barely covered the eyes. No beard or moustache decorated the person’s face, but the chin looked fierce enough to belong to a male.

“Be careful girls,” Twilight said silently, as the man stood still regardless of their approach. His position by the wall seemed relaxed but still much too tense for the man to be snoozing. “Excuse me, sir. Brandon.” Still nothing. Twilight stopped a couple of metres away from him, but Pinkie ran straight up to the man and immediately poked him to the stomach. Twilight held her breath and swallowed, and yet again nothing happened.

“Girls, quickly! Get over here!” Pinkie said over her shoulder. “C’mon, he doesn’t bite. He doesn’t... anything!” The three of them – Klapi not far behind – stood in front of Pinkie Pie and Brandon, who wasn’t a man after all. Brandon was a hologram projected from a tiny gap between two sections of wall. The hologram image was arguably the most lifelike the ponies had ever seen, and technically very advanced. Pinkie unintentionally demonstrated this by waving her hoof in front of the projector: nothing happened to the picture, not until she covered over two thirds of the gap did it start to fade in quality.

“Impressive,” Twilight uttered as her mind began racing. She turned around to Klapi and said: “Has Brandon always been here?” Klapi had just been born around Pan American’s technological assault, thus he probably wasn’t the best to answer even among the tribespeople. And of course, there was the language barrier.

“Brandon vees us, heelyainen myoes. Mé tukatan Brandon.” Twilight shook her head. What was she even thinking? She tried to continue her brainstorming, but Applejack interrupted her thought:

“That wasn’t all, folks. I found a hidden door. I can barely see the hinges, but it opens outward.” Twilight and Rarity stared at her silently, while Pinkie was busy striking poses with holo-Brandon.
“Rarity? Twilight? There’s no handle. And it opens outward.”

“Oh right,” the unicorns said in unison and engulfed a piece of the wall in their purple and blue auras. Applejack was right and something budged, though the combined effort of the two opened the door all the way and violently smashed it into the wall right next to holo-Brandon. The event turned a few heads, but the prevalent noise in the hall quickly drowned all clatter.

The doorway was the same size as the ones humans normally built, and so was the corridor it led to. The walls and ceiling were plain, and without the dim, white light coming from a few optical fibres in the ceiling it would’ve been pitch black. Twilight could make out another light source maybe fifty metres down into the corridor.

“Twilight, I know that look of yours. You want us to go in there.” Rarity’s remark brought a smirk on Twilight’s muzzle. “Really? Are you that sure about it?”

“Just look at Klapi now. It’s crystal clear he didn’t know this passage existed.” Klapi’s pursed lips and anxiously rolling eyes supported Twilight’s theory. She continued, a kind of fire burning in her eyes: “Think of the secrets we’re about to reveal. It’s beyond amazing!”

“We know what you mean, but a posthumous trophy is not as amazing as it sounds like,” said Rarity, but Twilight didn’t as much as acknowledge her.

“We’re going!” she proclaimed. “Now where’s Pinkie Pie?”

“I’m right here,” said a muffled voice, “between the wall and the door. In a veeery tight space.” After cracking back the door, scooping Pinkie from it, and making sure she hadn’t caught any serious injuries, the four ponies made their way into the corridor.

“Y’know what would be real fun?” Pinkie said, a little shaky. “If Klapi, instead of following us, just slammed the door shut and ran!”

Rarity offered a response: “Pinkie dear, you have such a strange way with” – the door slammed shut – “fun.”

As expected, some disorder followed: Applejack tried pushing the door open, but it didn’t move despite her best efforts, and Rarity yelled at Pinkie Pie for causing everything with her thoughtless comments. Pinkie was happy that she’d been right and ignored Rarity. All Twilight did was gaze upon the space they were now in. Going through was their plan all along – whether the door was open or not made no difference to her.

The optical fibres gave out more light than it had first appeared, thus the true colours of the corridor quickly revealed themselves. It wasn’t a corridor at all but another hall with low ceiling. Everywhere was plain white and silent; like they were standing in nothingness. As the ponies’ own noise died, they could make out a faint hum around them.

Twilight walked slowly toward the light in the room’s opposite end. Only a thin strip of the hall was lit, which made the ponies move in a relatively straight line. It took them about a minute to reach the middle of the hall, which suddenly caused the hum to increase significantly. The light in the back as well as the optical fibres disappeared in a burst of white light from the surroundings that rendering the ponies blind and confused.

However, it wasn’t bright enough to keep them blind for long. The ponies managed to see a short glimpse of millions of tiny red, blue, and green beams of light crisscrossing the space before settling down and forming a picture of a handsome, young man: holo-Brandon. The image was bigger than the one in the large hall, but the extremely fine detail remained. Pompous orchestrated music filled every invisible corner of the hall, and the image came to life.

“Does life wear you down? Does time always seem to run out? When you sleep? When you work? Do you long for that extra bounce?” Brandon’s deep, graceful voice was beyond comparison. It highlighted the man’s already apparent ethereal beauty as he walked around the ponies, letting an unseen breeze fly through every square-centimetre of his figure and cause immeasurably complex ripples across the fabrics in his clothes. He was marvel embodied. Every inch of him screamed perfection.

“I’m Brandon Bayer, and I’m here with a solution.” Pinkie, Rarity, and even Applejack to some extent were all trying to find some bits to throw at the man no matter the product he was advertising. Twilight stayed sceptical with her objective point of view, though noticing a tiny bit of drool in the corner of Rarity’s mouth made it tougher.

“Take a sip of Orango.” Brandon produced a soda can with the same blue-red pattern in the label that the tribesmen had painted on themselves. “Vitamins! Minerals! Proteins! Three cans a day is all you need to live a healthy life.” He opened the can, and the video zoomed in to show it in slow motion. The orange liquid poured into a glass with ice and zoomed out again. “Orango. It’s you, but on a good day.” Brandon disappeared, but the hall stayed brightly lit.

“Now he’s what I call something,” said Rarity and wiped her muzzle clean with her hoof.

“I reckon we should get outta here, the light’s givin’ me a headache,” said Applejack.

“Hm, maybe not yet.” Twilight mused. “There could be other videos.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. It could play the theme song.” Applejack glanced at Pinkie, who of course got all excited about the possibility of hearing a new song. “I know what you’re thinkin’, Pinkie, but for all our sakes we should get movin’. You can come back here later.”

“Fine,” Pinkie Pie and Twilight said. Two and a half seconds later an orange-flavoured hell broke loose.

Orango! Orango!
Where you goin’ when you’re around refreshments?
Orango! Orango!
Nothing takes the cake like you know it!
Orango! Orango!
King of the drinks. It’s drink of the kings!
Orango! Orango!

“Get runnin’! It plays on for eighteen minutes!”

They galloped toward the door thankfully marked with a green exit light. Pinkie – though escaping like the rest – was also thankful for such an easy-to-learn chorus.

Comments

[Midnightshadow]

what the hell just happened?

[Microshazm]

1085114
huh?

[Midnightshadow]

1085123
Well it probably doesn't help that I read the previous part about 2 months ago, but I honestly have no idea what's going on.

[Microshazm]

1086188
Well, it did take too long for me to get that chapter done (and it begs some reworking anyways...), but the fact is that since nobody cares about this fic, I'm going to publish all the remaining chapters as a single summary-thing. Why? Because I have practically everything worked out already, and maybe doing that makes it easier for me to return and actually write it.

[Midnightshadow]

1091426
I wouldn't say nobody cares, but if you don't, then leave it until you do?

[Microshazm]

1091534
Says the one who didn't care enough to skim the previous chapter for reference...
It will give me a chance to rewrite the whole thing some other time in the future. Maybe I'll rework TCB out of it, who knows. Leaving it cooking for X amount of time is useless as the story is already done -- just not written down properly.

[Midnightshadow]

1091564
Yeah, I should really re-read the last two chapters. I've enjoyed this story, I don't mean anything negative by saying leave it until you're ready. I'd be sad if you didn't finish it

[Microshazm]

1091590
Yes, sad. Even more depressing is that under 10 people have even opened the last two chapters. I can't keep writing for a marginal audience.
After finishing the current shit on my plate (and possibly seconds... and thirds), I'll return to this.