A human from the same world as the ponies goes to antropomorphic Ponyville Equestria to start a new life. Follow the hillarious shenanigans of Adam and Pinkie as the two explore the complex relationships a human and a pony can have!
The premise of the story looks good, but what i am wondering why he doesnt have resentments againist said 'people ponies'. They killed almost 90% of the human race, cold blooded genocide without a known plan or somethi and he is going foward to go and befriend them.
3706240 Nah! He isn't the person to hold a grudge about something that has nothing to do with the current generation of ponies. Plus, the only negative feelings he has are like for the ruler who exterminated his race... cough Celestia, cough.... And that is Fear! Fear of that princess who commited the genocide! He does not blame the ponies for slaughtering his people because he knows that a lot of injustices happen thanks to foolish decisions of foolish leaders.
Btw thanks for pointing that out. I was already planning on Adam having a big freak out scene once he is told about Celestia, puts two and two together and realises that she is THE SAME princess that killed off most of his people. But now, I'll also add that whole thing I told you about first.
Ach! I HATE thin waists! I like a woman who's got a belly. But at least I like the huge racks, wide hips, and large booty present in the story. Oh well, at least I only read this for the story, and only fap to pictures and videos. Nice story so far by the way. I can't wait for future chapters.
Hmmm 1000 years ago? the year of Nightmare Moon? Are you sure it was Celestia and not Luna on her madness? or perhaps Chrysalis disguise as her so they will cripple their friendship and she will have more land to conquer more easily using the sister to do her dirty job? because that was a very unstable age, and I really can't picture Celestia like a crazy bitch that just go into killing spring.
Oh I imagine her reaction, seeing his face of complete fear, of helpless, of him just want to live and seeing her only make him scare so much. Celestia will now know what her sister fells and it will have the mother of all guilts in one single shoot.
Je I can't wait how she will try to move earth and sky to try to make Adam stop fearing her.
P.S: Hey wouldn't be funny if now Adam its scare of Celestia but admires and respect Luna?
3708100 Yeah! That's my biggest dilemma! I don't know exactly how to make this go down. I've got an idea or two about how things might've went but I'm still not sure... I was hoping somebody could help me out with this. Would you be willing to?
3717429 Well by fictional rules, the author has last say. And I sayeth, his skin is more like this man's: comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp3305647.jpg Unless you prefer him Albino. You can imagine him like that if you wish then. I didn't specify his exact skin hue after all.
3720078 Yeah, but in my story I did a comparison between Twilight's and Adam's:
Her face was adorned with a pair of shimmering violet eyes, a couple of shades darker than his own
I was basically going for the Light violet color, near purple, like Twilight's since there are no rules in a fictional story that say that human eyes have to look just like in real life.
Oh, and I just tweaked AJ's description. Go and check it out and tell me what you think.
While we're on the subject of possible changes, I'd like to make two more suggestions.
The first, is to cut out the cup sizes, or even better, reduce them.
As it is, the breast sizes you're implying are like this. And, well... That's just ridiculous. Can you imagine what life would be like, if you had to lug those suckers around, all day every day? Kinda makes you feel sorry for well-endowed women...
I know that the point was to emphasize that the pony mares are sexier than human women, but you don't need to go that far. Just regular ol' DD cups are rare for human women.
The second is just a personal potpourri addition.
In the next chapter, have Pinkie or maybe Fluttershy (someone who's likely to notice the difference) discover that humans have one more finger than ponies do. Make sure it's in the next chapter, because it's not really very noticeable.
I don't know why I like four fingered antros so much, I just do. Maybe it's because every creature on the show that has hands only has four digits?
Anyway, I wouldn't blame you for not doing that, but your story would win mad respect from me, and I would love you forever.
3720145 Well, maybe I could reduce Twilight's breasts, maybe Fluttershy's too. It's also good that I haven't drawn them on my sketch list yet. Also, I like this 4 finger, 5 finger idea. Maybe I'd give it a go. ^^
Hey! My name is Adam Turner, just your run of the mill legal/illegal hacker. I’m 25, Caucasian, with short blonde hair with pointy bangs, violet eyes and a tall and thin figure. Ever since I’ve taken an interest in girls I’ve mostly blamed my bad luck with women on my small frame. No matter how much protein I ate or worked out, I could never get past 132 pounds. I’m toned and all but I never seem to be able to acquire enough bulk. Heh… listen to me! A sorry ass introverted creep, who doesn’t like night clubs, loud music, drinking or smoking, pinning his misfortunes with women on his physique; not to mention that all the women I’ve dated always grew bored of my good and devoted dog attitude when I fell in love with them. It was always “Sorry! You’re just too good for me. You deserve better! I myself just need some excitement every once in a while. Call me a sucker for bad boys if you will.” I got so depressed after each break up that I was always quite mopey and isolated from everybody throughout these periods, and eventually… I lost all of my friends over it. I was just too unresponsive to them and we just… drifted apart. Sometimes I wonder what I keep living about. But let me tell you about where I’m writing from and about my job. I’m currently in Chicago, a secluded city inside of a mountain on the world of Mythos. If you’re asking, yes! There are mythological beings out there such as unicorns, pegasi, dragons and minotaurs. As to why we are living in hiding, away from the rest of the world… Well… it all started a little over a thousand years ago, when the land of my kind which back then was called Terra and the land of ponies Equestria lived in peace and friendly relations. All was going well until some great conflict arose between our two kinds. Being quite pissed at us for some reason that was lost in between the lines, the current Princess of the pony land started methodically exterminating the human race; the fact that we were still in the dark ages with only swords and catapults to protect ourselves against their magic and air force was also crucial to the Equestrian’s superiority. So we started evacuating every able person and went into hiding. Afraid of the equine Princess’s wrath we scattered around the globe and started building colonies in mountain chains and large cavernous systems, and continued our lives, isolated from the rest of the world for a whole millennium. At present we’ve come a long way, obtaining great technology beyond imagination as opposed to the outside world which still relies on magic. The mere thousands that had survived those dark days are now ten million. As to how I found about our war with the pony people, well… let’s just say I hacked in a restricted area in the Government’s website, where this erased piece of history was stored and protected well. Well not well enough if you catch my drift. ;) And if you ask me the scans of the ancient tablets were sketchy on the details. My work is based on the previously mentioned scientific advances since I hack through the sites of our internet network via my Holographic Personal Computer, or HPC for short. Sometimes I just hack for the fun of it, sometimes I hack corporate sites to earn some money by stealing top secret info from the competitors of some large corporation that has hired me. A guy’s gotta eat you know. But anyways, now I’m just sitting and writing on a plain notebook about myself and my experiences. That’s right! I’ve learned how to write the old fashioned way before typing overtook it. So I guess right now you’re reading what I wrote in here my dear reader, though I doubt anybody will find this as I will hide these pages very well. By the way did I mention that throughout last week I hacked my government’s website again and deleted all of my personal files? I also sold my apartment anonymously online so that the next owners don’t know who I am. And I deleted all of the notable records pertaining my life such as school and job records, any place that might have my signature, home ownership, the works. Isn’t the Internet grand? Everything about a person is stored in there; you just gotta know how to look. By doing this, I’ve basically erased my entire existence in human society! Now, I’m just a nobody. And since my ex friends and negligent parents have probably forgotten all about me by now, I doubt they’ll miss me. I’ve thought a lot about this and since I have nothing left to hold me here, I’ve chosen to make a new life for myself. Go on some travels, adventure and have a life of thrills until I settle down somewhere I like. It’s been a thousand years so I doubt anybody even remembers us humans even existed so I think I’ll be okay. Hopefully the ponies would have probably changed over the centuries if I were to encounter them on my journey. Heck! I might actually settle in Equestria if fate doesn’t throw me a shitty piece of luck. I hope all those survival courses I took with some colleagues some time ago will come in handy, not to mention that Discovery series “Ultimate survival” aka “Man vs Wild”. Faithfully yours, Adam Turner
Exposition in this manner is the reason why I never got past chapter one...whenever I first found this story.
Somehow I found this story again. Lucky you.
I highly suggest you reference a forum topic about Exposition from the group School For New Writers. Another topic to look for talks about SHOWING, NOT TELLING.
For the record, I won't read that boring wall of text that is basically "Story of my life" crap. Yadda yadda I'm going straight to the story.
“Y-y-y…heheheheheheheeheh… You are! Heheheheheehe… I’ve just never heard a person go on a talking spree this hilarious! You’re just so much fun to listen is all.” The human managed to regain his cool, taking some deep breaths. “Awwwww, thank you! That’s the nicest thing anypony has ever said to me, even if you’re not a pony.” The looney trickster smiled sweetly, feeling very warm and fuzzy from the compliment. “To answer your question, human is the name for my species. I’m a human individual. I just compared you to a human female, since you look very much like one… minus the tail… and the hoof tipped feet, and the fur coat, and the ears, and the equine face. By the way, I’m Adam Turner, sex: male, 25 years old.” The man offered his hand which was taken by the mare’s who shook it energetically. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, female Earth pony or a mare if you’d prefer that, and I’m 22 years old.” Pinkie recited, reciprocating Adam’s intro, giving him a toothy smile before continuing,
This needs to be fixed in so many ways. This requires the length of an essay which is complete overkill for a simple comment post.
The premise of the story looks good, but what i am wondering why he doesnt have resentments againist said 'people ponies'.
They killed almost 90% of the human race, cold blooded genocide without a known plan or somethi and he is going foward to go and befriend them.
I dunno, for a comedy it started pretty bad.
Now i will read the rest of the story.
I'm actually really looking forward to the next chapters! Keep it up! =)
3706240 Nah! He isn't the person to hold a grudge about something that has nothing to do with the current generation of ponies. Plus, the only negative feelings he has are like for the ruler who exterminated his race... cough Celestia, cough.... And that is Fear! Fear of that princess who commited the genocide! He does not blame the ponies for slaughtering his people because he knows that a lot of injustices happen thanks to foolish decisions of foolish leaders.
Btw thanks for pointing that out. I was already planning on Adam having a big freak out scene once he is told about Celestia, puts two and two together and realises that she is THE SAME princess that killed off most of his people. But now, I'll also add that whole thing I told you about first.
I need more!
Ach! I HATE thin waists! I like a woman who's got a belly. But at least I like the huge racks, wide hips, and large booty present in the story. Oh well, at least I only read this for the story, and only fap to pictures and videos. Nice story so far by the way. I can't wait for future chapters.
Your OC is the luckiest bastard in the wolrd. And thats coming from me: A guy who hates OCs with a passion.
Hmmm 1000 years ago? the year of Nightmare Moon? Are you sure it was Celestia and not Luna on her madness? or perhaps Chrysalis disguise as her so they will cripple their friendship and she will have more land to conquer more easily using the sister to do her dirty job? because that was a very unstable age, and I really can't picture Celestia like a crazy bitch that just go into killing spring.
Oh I imagine her reaction, seeing his face of complete fear, of helpless, of him just want to live and seeing her only make him scare so much. Celestia will now know what her sister fells and it will have the mother of all guilts in one single shoot.
Je I can't wait how she will try to move earth and sky to try to make Adam stop fearing her.
P.S: Hey wouldn't be funny if now Adam its scare of Celestia but admires and respect Luna?
3707570 Hahahahahahahah! Yeah he is! But know that he'll only get the love... and lust... of one of these mares. The rest will be free for him to check out, LOL!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/12/22/503939__solo_rainbow+dash_nudity_anthro_animated_suggestive_solo+female_breasts_cleavage_scene+interpretation.gif
3708100 Yeah! That's my biggest dilemma! I don't know exactly how to make this go down. I've got an idea or two about how things might've went but I'm still not sure... I was hoping somebody could help me out with this. Would you be willing to?
This would be an epic fanservice anime.
3710189 Hah! Yeah, except all the anime humor and nonsense is substituted with American Cartoon humor and nonsense! LOL!
3709651
Ok
3709651
If I throw copies of Atlantic Rim at your house would I be helping?
this is off to a rocky start
but ill reserve my judgement til the next 2 chaps, otherwise its pretty good so far
3713350 I have no idea, what that book is... So I don't get your reference.
3714907
It's the shameless rip off of Pacific Rim. Seriously. The main robot looks EXACTLY LIKE Gipsy Danger.
T.T It's so...beautiful. I need more.
your character is now albino thus sayeth the me
3717429 He hath spoken! Albino he shall be!
365daysofthankinggod.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/praise-god-2.jpg
3717429 Well by fictional rules, the author has last say. And I sayeth, his skin is more like this man's:
comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp3305647.jpg
Unless you prefer him Albino. You can imagine him like that if you wish then. I didn't specify his exact skin hue after all.
No, dude. Just no.
Let me show you a picture.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-HMWAi27QQqk/TftbJ2Xq9aI/AAAAAAAAACM/-y9aoJJD3rM/s1600/15-percent-body-fat-female1.jpg
This picture is a comparison of two women, who both have fifteen percent body fat.
The woman on the right has low muscle mass. The woman on the left has high muscle mass.
Now, you're telling me that you want Applejack to have very high muscle mass, and less than one percent body fat?
Do you have any idea what that would look like?
infinitelabs.com/blogs/1/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/eek.jpg
Can anyone give me a fuck no?
3720021
Well, the reason I said it, is because violet is an eye color that a humans can have.
It's just only found in albinos, and very rare besides that.
The albino theory is complimented by him having blonde hair.
3720040 Well, okay, I made a mistake. I acknowledge it. If you're so concerned, AJ, the way I imagined her (and drew her; it's only a sketch for now), looks pretty much like this:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/10/445689__twilight+sparkle_rainbow+dash_applejack_anthro_questionable_breasts_tumblr_princess+twilight_belly+button_cleavage.png
3720062
I would give her twenty or twenty-five percent, if that's what you're going for.
3720059 Still, you can imagine him the way you like. I wasn't that specific on purpose! It's a fictional story.
3720068 Well, okay, or I could simply rework it and remove the fat from the equasion of AJ's description. LOL
3720069
Incidentally...
Warning: It's a wee bit soul-stary.
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/0e/1b/f9/0e1bf9fb22920ab97d92b6476fe32a6b.jpg
Bam! Violet eyes.
Just in case you wanted to know what they look like.
3720078 Yeah, but in my story I did a comparison between Twilight's and Adam's:
I was basically going for the Light violet color, near purple, like Twilight's since there are no rules in a fictional story that say that human eyes have to look just like in real life.
Oh, and I just tweaked AJ's description. Go and check it out and tell me what you think.
3720102
It's definitely much better now.
While we're on the subject of possible changes, I'd like to make two more suggestions.
The first, is to cut out the cup sizes, or even better, reduce them.
As it is, the breast sizes you're implying are like this. And, well... That's just ridiculous. Can you imagine what life would be like, if you had to lug those suckers around, all day every day? Kinda makes you feel sorry for well-endowed women...
I know that the point was to emphasize that the pony mares are sexier than human women, but you don't need to go that far. Just regular ol' DD cups are rare for human women.
The second is just a personal potpourri addition.
In the next chapter, have Pinkie or maybe Fluttershy (someone who's likely to notice the difference) discover that humans have one more finger than ponies do. Make sure it's in the next chapter, because it's not really very noticeable.
I don't know why I like four fingered antros so much, I just do. Maybe it's because every creature on the show that has hands only has four digits?
Anyway, I wouldn't blame you for not doing that, but your story would win mad respect from me, and I would love you forever.
3720145 Well, maybe I could reduce Twilight's breasts, maybe Fluttershy's too. It's also good that I haven't drawn them on my sketch list yet. Also, I like this 4 finger, 5 finger idea. Maybe I'd give it a go. ^^
3720160
Do you have the sketches online?
I'd like to see them.
3720163 Well, not yet but I could upload them on my dropbox account in less than 10 minutes. I've got Pinkie and AJ down (Minus AJ's tail).
3720163 I'll PM you a link and soon as I can.
3709651
I would suggest that the trouble with NMM would be the only reason that any humans managed to escape at all.
I mean, an entire species of mages VS warriors with swords? Kinda not really fair at all.
Pls get the next chapter done
I like it, AWESOME!!!
Instant gem
Keep writing. I'd really like to see where this goes. Also, even if it has to be a 3-way relationship, I'm really hoping he end up with Twilight.
Is it sad that i also feel that Anthro ponies are more beautiful than human girls? Maybe it's a phase.
If you drew pictures or have pictures of the rest of the heroes than why didn't you link them like you did with Applejack?
is this story a harem story?
Exposition in this manner is the reason why I never got past chapter one...whenever I first found this story.
Somehow I found this story again. Lucky you.
I highly suggest you reference a forum topic about Exposition from the group School For New Writers. Another topic to look for talks about SHOWING, NOT TELLING.
For the record, I won't read that boring wall of text that is basically "Story of my life" crap. Yadda yadda I'm going straight to the story.
This needs to be fixed in so many ways. This requires the length of an essay which is complete overkill for a simple comment post.
My desire to read this clusterfuck has died.