Just Tired...

by Grey Faerie

Sneaking through

Pinkie loves parties. It's how she got her cutie mark for crying out loud! They embody everything she loves most: food, fun and friends. She nodded to herself in the mirror. The brush dragged down one stroke at a time. She didn't even have to really think about it. That's how I used to be with parties. Pinkie sighed. At one time, it was like she couldn't get enough parties done. They brought her such joy and excitement. Why was it so hard now?

---

"I'm not avoiding them." Pinkie said as she looked through the latest party supply book. All the bright colors looked dull and ugly to her eyes.

"I never said you were." Discord remarked from his place on the bed. He was looking at a dessert magazine. "But now that you mention it, you haven't had a good party in a week."

"I'm working on it." Pinkie pursed her lips. Everything in the book seemed to be mocking her. Why didn't she come up with that idea? When will she be able to use all this cool stuff? Ideas tried to rush into her head like a burst dam to fill the empty basin below but this dam was too well build. "I'm just taking a break. Thinking up a really good party."

---

"Sooo, when are you going to finish making that cool tiki party? I've been really excited for that volcano water slide." Rainbow Dash said. She was hovering next to Pinkie as they walked down the market pathway.

"Soon, don't worry. I've got it all in my head of how I want it to be." Pinkie responded. But, truth was, it had been almost two weeks since she last came up with the idea and nothing has come of it. Only some post-its and place markers in a supply book. Why can't things just come out of my head and I don't have to do anything to make it happen?

She reflected on her earlier thoughts as she sat at her table. "I can do this! I'm going to get this thing done already." Pinkie announced loudly to the room. A burst of warm emotion filled her chest making her feel like she's about to take a jump over the diving board. She flipped through the books marking what she would need and writing down diagrams of the place set up.

But, just as soon as she started working a tired, dragging feeling came washing up after the flow of motivation.

It was like walking home from the pool. The excitement of jumping in the water had died down to where you just wanted to take a nap. She flipped the page but didn't even want to look at what it held. Pinkie closed the book and pushed everything aside.

---

A pulling, craving feeling sat deep in its throne of ribs. Her mind heaved as hard as it could but the craving resisted. Pinkie sat back and rubbed her scalp. The horrible craving of stopping what she was doing won out and Pinkie picked back up a comic she had been reading earlier.

A month had gone by since she last came up with a party idea and it was only when she looked back on the dates of her notes did she even realize it. Time had been sneaking through without a hint of it even being there. What had she been doing for a whole month? Ticking it off, she and Twilight had been having fun reading a new fantasy book series, Spike had traded comics with her, she planned an outing with Fluttershy and Rarity to look at the newest art exhibit featuring photography of tropical birds. Well, that's planning something.

She had almost grown a newfound interest in just about anything other than actual party planning. It was like the every need to throw a party had evaporated with the morning dew.

Pinkie looked out the window. It was a bright sunny day with not a cloud in the sky. The noise of ponies outside filtered into her room softly over the sound of her radio. This would have been a perfect day for a tiki party with volcano water slide. She sighed and turned back to her comic.

---

"Pinkie." Discord whined. "It's seven in the morning! Just turn off the alarm already." He groaned and turned over annoyed.

Pinkie had been resetting the alarm for a later time or hitting the snooze button since five am. For a baker, she had way over slept. The pink mare rubbed her eyes and stared at the clock again. Maybe I should put the clock on the dresser so I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Or I should set if to go off twice to give me some wake up time. She audibly groaned and clutched her head in anger.

For the last week, she had been so driven the night before to actually get up in the morning on time, but just like a today, she couldn't find the willpower to do it. Every single time I want to get up, I can't! It's like my mind and body aren't talking. Pinkie let out a breath, rubbing the hair out of her face. Might as well sleep in, it's too late now to go help prepare for the morning rush.

It was getting too warm to have the covers over her but Pinkie still tried to snuggle down into the bed to sleep. Yet, nothing helped her to fall back into the comforting darkness. She looked up for the hundred time just for the clock to blare an irate 11:34am at her. Pinkie blew a raspberry back at it. I know I should be up, I do have work today... just as I did yesterday.

Discord looked over from the table to lift a brow at her remark to the clock. He half smiled, "I had to help out yesterday. Lucky they didn't drag me down this morning to help cover again." It was a dry laugh that followed. Pinkie looked over at him and playfully blew a raspberry at him too. The strained meaning of the joke was obvious yet Pinkie wished he would fall for her playing dumb.

Her chaotic boyfriend knew enough to let the subject drop before another argument started. She laid back down into the bed and struggled for sleep.

---

The last party she did was an amazing two months ago. It was small and pathetic when it came to Pinkie Pie brand party. Twilight had suggested she try working through this 'party' writer's block by just having a party. 'Even a small one! It doesn't have to be anything special!'

All the girls had been there, Pinkie supposed they were expecting to be back to her throwing weekly parties for 'insert reason here'. It had been fun. We played a board game and there was a really good iced cider I made with Applejack. Pinkie thought as she brushed her hair.

"I'm just taking a break. Totally not avoiding anything." she said with a shake of her head. The curls bounced around till they rested in place around her head.

"Summer isn't going to stay forever, my dear. Maybe you should just give it up till next summer. Try something new until then." Discord was leaning on the door jam to their room.

"I have been trying new things. New, other things seem to be the only things I can do." she said back to him.

He put his hands up in defense, "I'm just saying, you don't need to push yourself unless you really need to."

"But I do need to! I haven't done anything for, for how long again? Two months. I barely go to work cause I can't get out of bed in the morning." She shuttered in grief and threw her hooves over her face. Discord swept over hugging her tightly even while moving to sit down behind her. Pinkie pulled her hooves away to hold on to his arms.

Discord spoke through her hair in soft tones, "You've been through this before. You'll get through it again. Let me help you."

Pinkie sulked, "Like how?"

"Let's plan a party together. If it gets to be too much for you, I'll take over. No pressure."

She thought it over for a second and nodded, "Okay, no pressure."

He kissed her forehead, chuckling, "Come on, we need some breakfast for lunch."

---

Time still tried its best to slip past her so that she couldn't even remember how it would be Saturday already or for the clock to be striking seven am on a work day. But, she had managed to do it. She did her best everyday as to not let herself be too tired to care. It was also helpful to have someone who was a very good alarm clock and didn't obey time very well. But how would that work? To be both a clock and not care about the laws of time? Well, I guess that's what metaphors are for.

Snow fell gently outside the window in slow repetition on a bright afternoon. Pinkie closed her supply book with the satisfaction of another job well done. She threw back the last remains of the now cold coffee and hopped out of the room.

"I have a party planned!"