New Day 1: A Talk
Guten tag, it’s me again,
Right, I don’t know when you are getting these letters, or if you are receiving them in the right order, so for your convenience; Discord has woken up with memory loss, and we are still in New York city.
This letter will be a transcript of our second first conversation.
“Well, who are you?” It had yet to dawn on me that Discord was acting different which, to be fair, was excusable being that so far Discord hadn’t had consistent attitude or mood for longer than five minutes.
“I just told you, my name is Ashton.” I wasn’t about to believe that he lost his memory, but until I figured out what game he was playing at I thought I would humor him.
“Oh come on, that can’t be a name.” When he had only chuckled, I began to think something was up.
So far Discord had only cackled, guffawed, stared, laughed and giggled. He had never given a calm, patient chuckle. For the first week he didn’t do anything calm, he was a being of pure ID compared to how he was the second week.
“Unless, of course, you have a love for fire, hmmm?” he said with a coy smile. (More of a light hearted snarl, thanks to his rather protruding snaggletooth.)
That statement had managed to utterly confuse and insult me at the same time. Discord had brazenly assumed I was some kind of firebug! The nerve of him!
No, that’s just the hindsight talking isn’t it? Just because of what he would do a week later didn’t make that a personal insult.
Just him being Discord made that personal insult.
“My name has nothing to do with my personality,” I told him slowly, because I still thought he was screwing with me but I didn’t want to call him out on it and risk getting zapped or something. I felt even that may have been a bit harsh so I added,” Just to let you know, most names here don’t mean anything.”
“...”
For the first time in his stay on Earth, Discord had quietly taken the time to really think about what I had just said.
“I’m afraid I don’t quite follow,” he had said with a blank look on his face.
And promptly gave up. Although he had quickly adjusted to being powerless and stuck in a human form (Or at least refraining from freaking out about it) in the span of ten seconds, he had a hard time comprehending the most mundane concepts about our world, as you are about to find out.
“Names...” I tried to say it even slower, “don’t... mean... any... thing... here.”
~If names don’t matter, then why doesn’t anyone recognize Discord until you say his name?~
That’s just magical shenanigans.
~Point taken, but haven’t you noticed how people grow to fit their names?~
Crazy Voice had an infuriating knack for refuting anything I said. Fortunately, no one could hear him but me.
“Usually,” I added. Then I realized something.
Names don’t influence people like they do in Equestria, I thought with a bit of pride.
~I’ll give you that.~
“Right...” Discord said as he rolled the concept around in his head a few times. “What you’re saying is, a human with a name like, I don’t know, Axey McChopChop, wouldn’t remotely be involved with wood or axes?”
“No one would have that name. Probably.”
It is a big world after all, I thought, remembering a few weirdos I’ve met.
~Not big enough.~
Continuing, I said, “Most of the time, people don’t have that kind of name. Usually people go by Mark, Sam, John, and what not.”
“That’s different,” Discord said to himself. “Very different.” He snapped his fingers again.
In the silence that followed, Discord awkwardly drummed his hands on his knees, snapped his fingers a few more times, and then sighed.
“There is one thing I want to know,” Discord said, restarting the conversation.
“Yes?”
“How did you know that I would assume what kind of human you were from your name?”
I have to hand it to Discord. He can really crank up the drama when he wants to. Just a few well timed pauses and the tension was thick enough to cut.
Of course I was oblivious to this, thanks to the past events numbing my ability to comprehend the danger of this situation. Which was good, since if this had happened a week ago, my pants would have been well soiled by now.
Then again, if I had pissed myself, Discord may have left me alone.
“Oh, and for that matter, I’ll ask this again, how do you know me?” Discord had asked in an interrogating tone.
~Oh please, please tell me you are going to do what you did last time.~
I don’t see why not, it worked last time.
“I am a powerful wizard!” I had said, doing the appropriate hand waving and eyebrow waggling that goes with such a dramatic reveal.
“A wizard.” Discord deadpanned.
“Well, yes. A wizard...” I gave a few more hand twirls before weakly adding, “of the highest caliber.”
I wasn’t that smart when I brought Discord home and told him that I was a wizard, but saying I was a wizard again? That’s just insane! Why did I do it again?!
For a moment Discord just stared at me. Then his lips began to quiver and his eyes started to tear up. “You, a wizard...” He dropped his head into his hands and began to sob, or so I thought until it was apparent that he was laughing. “HehehehahaHAHAHAHAHAHA! A wizard?!” He kept laughing and laughing until he rolled off the bed. “Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!” His laughing slowly turned to quiet wheezing.
When I thought he was done I said,” Well, I am a-”
He gave a deep gasp and burst into another fit of laughter, “A wizard! Hahahaha!” He eventually managed to pull himself back onto the bed and proceeded to stare at me again. While still laughing, mind you, which made it more unnerving than usual. “Hahaha hah... ha.” His laughter finally petered out and he frowned. “Prove it.”
~Hah, he is going to call your bluff.~
Actually it’s an outright lie, but I did this once already. Who’s to say it won’t work again?
~The voice in your head.~
Fair point, but I’ve already told Discord I’m a wizard, so I might as well try, I illogically thought as I walked to the light switch and flicked it. “Behold my power!” I said, trying to muster as much bravado as I could, and failing horribly.
“Amazing, I am truly in awe of your skills,” Discord sarcastically said before having a relief-filled laugh. “I must have talked in my sleep. You certainly don’t know me if you tried doing that!”
All according to plan, I had quickly thought, taking credit for accidently defusing the ticking chaos bomb that was Discord. Again.
~Yeah, sure.~
Discord continued with a snort. “Hmp, you’d have to catch me on a pretty off day for that to work.”
“It worked the first time,” I muttered.
“Haha, yes, you can stop playing around Ashton. Oooh, that is a strange name.” He tilted his head back and forth, as if to slosh my name around his head. “It somehow manages to be both interesting and boring at the same time.” Discord then decided to get off the bed and take a look around the room.
You would think that Discord, The Spirit of Chaos, Duke of Disharmony, the Earl of Anarchy, and the Prince of Chocolate Rain, would be positively giddy at the thought of being in a whole new world, untouched by his chaos. You’d think that, and you’d be wrong.
Looking back, I’m starting to realize that Discord wasn’t comfortable being on Earth without his powers.
He was terrified.
Discord spent several minutes doing nothing but staring out of the hotel window until, slowly but surely, his face spread into what I thought at the time was a grin. (It was a grimace actually. An honest mistake really, it’s so hard to discern facial expressions from the reflection off of a dirty hotel window.) He snapped his fingers a few more times before clenching and unclenching them for another minute or so.
Just when I thought he had forgotten me, he sighed and said, “Tell me the name of this place, Ashton.”
Hah, now I can refuse to answer a simple question! I thought in a moment of petty cruelty.
“I don’t need to tell you that,” I said, borrowing the tone of the snobby hotel clerk two floors beneath us.
“You don’t?” Discord asked, completely confused. “You really don’t, do you?” he said, mostly to himself, as he stroked his beard.
“It’s not like I’m you’re henchman, Discord,” I asserted, as I sat back onto the chair.
~You are his henchman, admit it.~
No I’m not, I denied wholeheartedly.
“Well, I had assumed you were,” he quietly said. “You aren’t panicking, screaming, or running. You know my name, and you somewhat know of what I do.”
~Now that I think of it, you’re very pale Ashton, and you have been quite weird all week. How sure are you that Discord isn’t controlling you?~
Crazy voice had been screwing with my mind with these passive aggressive comments nonstop ever since he gained a mind of his own, and it never works.
Oh my god! It makes so much sense!
Most of the time.
“I went through the whole panicking phase a week ago,” I nonchalantly said for some reason (Look, you can’t expect me to completely remember this week.)
Discord took notice of what I said. “A week?! I’ve been asleep for a week?” he exclaimed, “Hah! I thought I would have been asleep for a decade at least!” He smiled for the first time since waking up. “That is delightful news. It looks like I’ll be out of this horrible place in no time.”
This place does suck, doesn’t it? I thought to myself after a momentary reminiscence of history class.
~No arguments here.~ Crazy voice, for once agreeing with me.
For some reason, I had saw fit to correct Discord. “Actually you haven’t slept at all this week.”
Discord gave me a stern look. “Ashton.”
Discord spun around in a circle and gave the room an accusing glare, which he soon turned onto me. “No, I haven’t been awake for a week, Ashton, because if I had been awake for a week, then this place wouldn’t be so... so... boring!”
“Well, you were acting strange...” I muttered, trying to defend the only rational idea as to why Discord was acting like this.
“As if you’d know what I’m really like. Oh, why not tell me how strange
“Well, you acted like a kindergartener at a theme park. Or in your case, a foal at a fair.”
“That is strange for me...” Discord gave me another stern glare before saying, “You aren’t one of those weirdos are you?” He tsk tsked and continued. “I was sure the first time this happened would have been enough of an example,” He snapped his fingers, and when nothing had happened again, he cringed and shrugged. “No, there would have been more ambiance here if you were one of them.”
“Do you have a cult or something?” I asked, strangely excited at the chance find out about Equestria’s past.
“No comment,” he said in disgust, waving his hand as if to shoo the topic away.
“I would have thought you’d get a kick out of being worshipped,” I cheekily said.
“It is anything but. All those wackos want is to have fun at the expense of others.”
This coming from Discord, the one who had decided to turn all of Equestria’s roads into soap for a laugh.
“Right...” I whispered to myself, desperately trying to stop the conversation from wandering into the awkward silence where it belonged. “Well, this place is called Earth.”
“Earth. It’s not Humanland? Or Mantaria?” he asked in disbelief. “It’s just Earth?”
“Yes, just Earth.” Not knowing what to say next, I kept my mouth shut.
Discord gave a sigh before doing another futile snap. “So I’ve been here a week, and this little world is still this boring?” he said, with a distinct tone of disappointment. “I dread to think of what this place was before I came here.”
“Pretty much the same, and this isn’t a little world.”
That was when Crazy Voice gave a suggestion. ~This is going way too well, do something stupid.~
Nope! I’m not going to listen to you this time! I proudly declared.
“I beg to differ, Ashton,” Discord remarked with a smirk. “So you say that you actually convinced me that you were a wizard a week ago?”
“Yes, but I’ll admit you were kinda loopy,” I said, trying to play the modesty card.
“All is well I’m sure, nopony I know could have possibly seen me this week.”
I tried to mask my panicking with a coughing fit.
Who didn’t see Discord being a chaotic spazz?
Almost nopony.
“So after you told me that you were a wizard, what did you do next? I’m just dying to know.”
“Well, after I told you I was a wizard, I made you something to eat...” I nervously said, beginning to realize where this was heading.
“Now that, is a good idea, Ashton,” he said with a wide grin. “I am positively famished!”
And that is how I was duped into having lunch with the Spirit of Chaos.
Okay, I am going to stop the story here, mainly for suspense, and partly to remember the fine details of what happens next.
Still stuck here,
Ashton Thomas
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This is good. Veeeery good.
Of course, I have to wonder that now that he doesn't seem to have his powers at all, what he will do. Obviously, he gets them back if he can imprison Ashton, which is what I assume happened.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Ashton does more time jumping sometime soon.
i will comment that this story is cats
yup. cats
I'm guessing that Discord is going to have Ashton repeat everything that happened and at the end of it all, trap him where/whenever he writes these.
Discord really needs to get moving on this, he's boring me. Not saying this chapter is boring, it's just Discord.
I like it when there are few comments! It encourages me to just come out and compliment the writing I've read and the author of it! This chapter was brilliant, Ashton is insane, Crazy Voice is one's average everyday crazy voice, and Discord is fun! Those were all compliments, by the way! Oh, Ponyfall is so exciting, and this is my favorite story in it!