PonyFall:Adventures in Chaos

by Draequine

Help! It's a recap!

So I have been hearing complaints on my narrating style. Let it never be said that I don't listen to the readers. >:3

---

Dear anyone,

Now, how should I start this... How have you been? Hows the weather? I hope this note finds you well. Peaches and cream.

Oh wait, I know.

HELP ME OUT OF HERE!

Now that that’s out of the way, my name is Ashton Thomas. I don’t know who you are, but if you have found this letter, then there’s something special about you.

Or you are Discord, in which case,
not cool bro.
Let me out please.
Hahaha, very funny, now let me out.
Let me out Discord.
LET ME OUT!
This isn’t funny.
Please?
It’s dark here...

Once upon a time
Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped upside down and I’d no.

I would tell you where I am, but I don’t know.

I would tell you how long I have been here, but time doesn’t work here.

I would tell you why I’m here, but I don’t know why I was betrayed.

I would love to tell you these, but I can’t. What I can do, however, is tell you what happened.

Now that’s a good line!

---

Remember when the sky turned pink? If you don’t, then this letter has been sent to the wrong time. Not that there is a right time for this letter.

That was the week before when my life changed forever. That was when I found Discord.

Now, I wouldn’t call myself a mentally stable individual, and neither would the voice in my head but what I am writing is completely true. You know those cartoons you might have watched as a child? Those completely fictional characters going through their episodic lives? They aren’t fictional. Probably.

I found one of those characters that day, when the sky flashed pink. His name was Discord.

And he smelt like fudge.
Delicious fudge.

You would know him from a show called My Little Pony. He was a creature called a draconequus. That’s a pony that has two horns, the tail of a dragon, and why am I writing this? No one will believe that!

He was a character from this obscure hardcore anime. I’m talking completely underground here. I'm sure you never heard of it.

He was a character from Star Wars. You know, the alternative to Jar Jar Binks?

You don’t need to know what show he was from. He’s human now, but just as powerful as he was in the show, if not more. The worst part is, you won’t know it’s him unless he tells you his name.

Why? No clue, that’s just how it goes, I guess.

Because he magics the brains of everyone around him. He is seriously bad news.

Well, not that bad, actually. The first week he was here, he just stared at a rubik's cube all day and wore silly costumes.

He set my apartment house mansion orphanage dwelling on fire!

Actually, the fluffy ponies were responsible for the fire.

I never liked living there anyway.

I shall never be able replace all that junk of my cherished family pictures because of him.

Now what could I have done to deserve knowing him? A lot of things.

Pimping Loitering Stealing Pirating Bad mouthing Dropping out of school Hating social interaction Lying Bribing Cheating Blasphemy Being a jerk Shipping Being an asshole Murder (technically) Being stupid

Nothing. I’m a saint!

When I first found Discord, he was sleeping on a metal giraffe kicking a puppy making fun of a cactus unconscious. I had thought he was a hobo a figment of my imagination injured. Being a good Samaritan, I didn’t steal his awesome coat let him follow me home because I thought he was a hallucination. brought him to my home, where he shared his story with me. After I had convinced him I was a wizard.

I didn’t really pay attention to it because I thought that he wasn’t real I was sworn into secrecy to never speak of what he told me. I’m not telling you for your own good.

Once he had decided to stay, it all went downhill from there. He made my father think I was gay My father was arrested, Discord got drunk on boozed up cupcakes, and I saw a statue get fondled.

The rest of the week wasn’t so bad, he kinda kept to himself was a nightmare I shall never speak of, which ended on such a horrible night that I can’t even remember. I really can’t!

But that week doesn’t even compare to the day after it. I woke up with the worst headache. I was awakened by a fluffy pony. swarm of fluffy ponies. talking velociraptor. strange creature that Discord had created. It had so many mouths and eyes, you don’t even know.

The fluffy pony accidentally drowned in pot of spaghetti, which made it split into two stupid fluffy ponies. Then it kind of snowballed when one of them caught fire. I valiantly fought the creature but each time I would hit it, it would split into two. I had to burn my home down, lest they got out and overwhelmed the world.

You’re welcome.

After Discord pulled me out of the fire I pulled Discord out of the fire I didn’t say anything he refused to talk to me about what those things were, or what had happened last night. Instead he made a break for it. I didn’t have anything better to do so I tagged along I felt that it was my duty to keep an eye on him, so I chased after him.

Then we almost got mugged by some chick, but we ran for our lives to a nearby abandoned warehouse restroom.
Then we got mugged by this dude, but we talked him out of it.
Then we mugged a granny. Nope.

Discord sucker-punched me and dragged me to a bathroom where he...

Discord did some kind of magic and sent me to this weird empty place where I drifted about for a little while until I came to a mirror, through which I saw someone like me. His name was John, and he found three characters. Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle.
Poor bastard.

Now, finding these three characters must have made him skittish, because rather than doing what any rational man would do and greet me, he brained me with a shower stand. Then again, I did come out of the mirror.

I had feigned unconsciousness so that they would have to carry me to a bed so that I could find the perfect time to strike. so that I could find out what was going on without them being aware of me.

When I finally decided to pass out that they weren’t going to eat me that this wasn’t one of Discords tricks, I went to sleep. When I woke up my hands were zip-tied chained handcuffed together.

He and his friends had mistakenly thought I was Trixie, one of the fictional characters, so I repeatedly told them I was a different character from the show and no matter what I said, they kept assuming I was another character from the show.

Eventually, they got tired of my lying and demanded the truth. they stopped being idiots and I told them about Discord.

I tried to, at any rate. Apparently mentioning Discord’s name summons him or some shit. something. It’s freaking ridiculous. Who pops out of a closet like that anyway?

Now, there was this chick named Sybil. She was the only person there who had any balls guts. Not that it did any good against Discord, the Spirit of Chaos. She tried to whack him with a lamp. pimp cane. Instead of shattering, the lamp pimp cane turned into a squeaky toy baguette toy poodle.

The rest were cowards. The three characters were just kids, and they weren’t as scared as John or Jane. (That’s the other girl that isn’t Sybil)

It was up to me to win them over selflessly distract Discord so that they could ditch me like a sack of bagels retreat and come up with a plan. I guessed knew that Discord could be incredibly single minded sometimes, so I began asking him stupid cunning questions which he would answer right after I said them. Eventually I asked him, ”How is a raven like a writer’s desk?” such a fiendish question that if you were to hear it, it would make your brain explode.

You’re welcome. Again.

It was just me and Discord, chilling out in the dorm room mano a mano. Until he magicked abracadabraed magicked me!

Through a coke can this time! That’s too stupid to write.

I appeared behind the group this time. Understandably, they were completely terrified a bit frightened. I tried to comfort them by telling them that Discord was slowly regaining power and would probably plunge the world into chaos (I was a bit wrong about that, he was already full of power at the time. He was only adjusting to Earth) wasn’t that powerful.

It was not working at all, Sybil was almost catatonic working too, until the the walls of one of the buildings turned into bubblegum. As they ran off, Discord, yet again, magicked transportalized magicked me somewhere else.

I appeared in a cafeteria with Discord. We played a game of Go Fish Checkers Chess

It was an incredibly tense and awkward moment for me until John’s group arrived. We must have surprised him, because he almost fell down the stairs, were it not for my intervention. A stairway leading up to a busy cafeteria? That’s just asking for trouble.

I tried yet again to convince John and his friends that Discord wasn’t going to hurt them. was probably not going to- wouldn’t hurt them much was powerless didn’t have enough power to do any more
minor mild horrifically impossible serious damage.

Much to my chagrin, that was when the giant fly arrived. Although I lost all hope Nonetheless I stubbornly boldly kept reassuring them. When the fly turned into a flying monkey, I finally gave up conceded.

Discord Fus-Ro-Dahed John Discord magicked John down the- Discord pushed John I pushed John

John fell down the stairs to no fault on anyone's part but his own. Actually it was probably mine for telling Discord that stupid riddle.

I doubt that he’s still alive. He’s probably in a coma now. He might be paralyzed now. I’m sure he’s fine.

The highlight of this little encounter was when me and Discord was laughing at John’s tumble. One of the three characters, Applebloom Daisy Triangle Girl could take no more. You don’t need to know her name, you only need to know that she went face to face with Discord Face to groin really. She kicked him in the nuts has been the only one to hurt Discord so far.

After I finally stopped laughing I said my goodbyes to the characters I dragged Discord to a taco van to make our escape Discord forced me to steal a taco van Discord revealed that he was faking it, and he magicked zapped magicked there has to be a better word for what he did magicked me again for no reason. Okay, I may have told him I was getting a hang of his crazy magic powers, which must have upset him.

That’s when I found out the voice in my head had gained sentience. It had become its own separate being, with its own feelings, hopes, desires, and a single minded hatred for me. Going through whatever that trippy place to reach wherever John was must have done something to my head.

I’m not crazy.

I don’t have voices in my head.

I don’t have a voice in my head.

Nothing happened between the time that Discord magicked me and the time that I arrived. Besides being turned into a dingo.

Discord had sent me to Australia, right in front of an oncoming car. Luckily, it had only grazed me It ran right over me, but don’t worry, I walked it off. I would have probably been stranded on the road waiting for Discord to appear, which he totally would have if he would at all, if the car that hit me hadn’t pulled over to see what they hit.

The driver was a man named Doug, and his passengers were three more ponies characters.

You know what? I’m calling bullshit on meeting someone else who has found a group supposedly fictional character, right after meeting (and accidentally breaking the arm of) someone else who found 3 other characters.

These characters were Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Angel important main characters in the show they were from. I disliked Doug immensely because he found both of my favorite ponies I didn’t know to trust Doug, so I told him that he was a fictional character from game of thrones tested him. I told him I was a talking Dire Wolf. Actually, it wasn’t much of a test. All he needed to do was just not flip out when a dingo started to talk to him.

It took him a couple of minutes to accept me. Being an Australian and in touch with nature and all that crap, he wasn’t least bit fazed by me talking. After profuse begging He offered me a ride in his car. It was quite miserable riding in a car as a dingo. It was a nice trip.

We stopped at some kind of camp. Fun fact, Australia isn’t all desert, it’s pretty green most of the time really. Me and Doug started talking while the ponies characters were unpacking. For some reason I asked him to give me the date and location of where we were at he inexplicably told me the date and location we were at. It was April the 17th!

If you have been following along which is quite the accomplishment then you would know that Discord and I left my burning home on the 21st. This lead me to the conclusion that Australia has the weirdest time zones I was back in time!

This startling realization was nothing compared to what happened next. Doug led me to a pond! I hadn’t bathed after the fire and I felt so icky, that pond was a godsend! Doug still didn’t know that I had found Discord.

Oh crap, I forgot to clarify that all the characters are from the same show!

All the characters found so far are from a certain show, and Doug was quite familiar with this show. All of those who have found a (or two, or three) character are fans of the show those characters are from. Now, Discord was a major villain in this show, for about two episodes and is well known to anyone that would call themselves bronies a fan of the show. Doug should have known right off the bat that I found Discord when he noticed I was a talking dingo. He wasn’t that dumb.

So, after teasing him for not knowing about me finding Discord a few tests, we I single handedly came to the conclusion that no one will find out a characters name without someone confirming it.

If Doug had not warned me what would happen if I didn’t tell him about Discord forced me to tell him Discord’s name (No matter how many times I vaguely specifically warned him) I’m sure everything would have been peachy. Nah, it probably still would have ended horribly.

But alas, I said Discord’s name. Not that it matters any if you say his name or not, he’ll come if he wants to. At least this time he had arrived with a certain style. Riding a plaid humvee through a forest while wearing a paper mache samurai armor? That’s just kicking normality in the nuts!

So, after Discord had his fun tormenting me with Justin Bieber songs Doug coldly tried to throw me to the wolves, saying that he had prior engagements. Hah! I easily convinced Discord to set up a picnic because... er... this isn’t painting me in a positive light, is it? This whole picnic bit is too ridiculous! 3.14 pie, edible picnic baskets, and me choking out a lifelike wooden figurine of Chuck Norris? To make matters worse, in the middle of this awkward picnic, time stopped, and some dude decided to eat a pretzel and take a picture of me. No, that’s stupid, no one would believe that! being the noble do-gooder I am, I told Discord that Doug and the characters wanted him to stay. convinced Discord that it was boring there and that we should leave. I didn’t actually think my plan would work.

So Discord and I set off again. (This time, however, I had the chance to leave my contact info behind near a public outhouse for Doug to find.) Now, I wasn’t expecting anything normal about riding in the impossible jeep with Discord, but I had been hoping that he would not have magicked zapificadabraed fine, I give up magicked me to the next destination again. Which he did.

I slept through the transitive area of the trip this time, which is definitely not a good idea. Or it is a good idea if you want horribly lucid nightmares. This little trip was very informative, teaching me that you shouldn’t be passed out before traveling with Discord, otherwise whatever dream you have in the transitive area will affect what you are wearing when you leave the transitive area, and that the place you will be sent doesn’t exactly have to be at ground level.

Fortunately, there was someone for me to land on. Unfortunately, he was someone who had found yet another character. His name was Cody, and he is quite possibly the third second dumbest person to have found a character. (The most dumb being me the one who sent Discord on a rampage.)

What he was doing outside of a McDonalds, I will never know. I’d like to think that it was a lucky break, but I doubt it was just a coincidence. After getting my bearings Right away, I helped him off the ground and made sure to check if he broke anything, because I am a kind hearted individual. Then, I was assailed by an associate of his named Sarah. Sarah was okay I guess not a nice person, and wouldn’t stop hitting me with a broom. She demanded that Cody talk to me because I “was his territory”. Bah, it was easy to put two and two together and know that he had found a character. I would have called shenanigans, but to who? Anyhow, I had agreed to tell them my story (which I had no intention of actually doing) in exchange for chicken nuggets. I had decided to not even think of saying Discord, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t pop up if I didn’t say his name. After showing Cody, Sarah, and the character he found the neat little phenomenon where, no matter how obvious it is, they will never know Discords name without someone to confirm it, and just when I was about to get the nuggets I desired, Tyler arrived, wearing a ninja suit. Gah, freaking Tyler!

That’s when he decided to pop up right beside me, starting the next phase of what has now become a running gag. That is also when the time loop began.

Remember “Groundhog Day”? The one with Bill Murray? It was like that, but it only lasted at most 15 minutes, because it would reset if Cody decided to contact someone named AppleDash, or if Cody got shot in the face with a flintlock Sarah decided to call the cops. I wasn’t stuck in it for long, around 305,250 times I think being a genius and all. I quickly realized that all I needed to do was get Discord out of there without saying his name. It was nearly impossible easy to lure him out of the McDonalds.

It wasn’t as bad as the last two encounters I had, but it was still pretty sucky. I never did get those nuggets...

After screwing with Discord by using the knowledge of what he usually did in the time loop Discord dragged me to some new destination after I told him about the time loop. This time he didn’t magicked me. He took a sort of detour saner path shortcut. (If you’d call turning the entrance to a pawnshop into one to New York City a shortcut.)

Yes, Discord took me to the Big Apple. Then he sang a song. While he was singing, I was stealing money from the crowd forced to watch his crummy song. When he finished singing, I inexplicably had a pocket full of money. He must have magicked it there. After that, he passed out face first on the sidewalk.

That’s how that week went. How was yours?XOXOXO,

Ashton Thomas

---

Note to self
Hopefully, Sending these letters will free me. Since time doesn’t exist here, as soon as I send the right letter, I’ll be out of here!

I really ought to make a typewriter, or at least a pencil with an eraser.

Don’t think about being stuck in here forever and being unable to die I’m going to get out of here in no time lickity split never eventually.

Then I’m going to put all this behind me.

Comments

[Thethhron]

...How....Okayt, das cool

[Brony Pony]

This was a good crazy creative idea! I like it Find it intriguing!

[banjobulldog]

Thank You for this. I was struggling with your narrative as well.

[Paladin Redflare]

You're never going to be free!

[Fullmetal Pony]

John fell down the stairs to no fault on anyone's part but his own.

Excuse me?

[PiMan]

It's weird. Reading through this chapter (the recap), I noticed that some of the things struck out were true and some were false; some were positive about Ashton and some were negative; some were positive about Discord and some were negative. The only consistency I found was avoiding mentioning MLP.