Chapter 8: Preparations
"MOOOMMM!! DAADDD I'M HOME!" Rainstorm yelled into his house.
There was a slight pause, and a faint whispering could be heard from up the stairs, so Rainstorm walked into his home, hoping that his parents were through with any activities he didn't care to hear or witness.
An answer came from up the hall, echoing through the spacious stairwell, "GO AWAY!"
"I CAN'T! I HAVE TO USE THE SHOWER!" Rainstorm replied, annoyed that his parents still weren't finished. To many ponies, knowing your parents...guhh...on a regular basis would be enough to drive you mad. But it makes for a surprisingly effective method of making sex sound unappealing.
"Uhhh...USE THE CAKES!" Rainbow shouted down again, desperate to remove her son from the home.
"CAN'T! PUMPKIN'S USING IT AND YOU BOTH KNOW I ALREADY KILLED THE MOOD!"
"WE DON'T NEED A MOOD!!!"
"TOUGH PONY FEATHERS I'M COMING UP!" Rainstorm grumbled as he stood at the base of his own stairway before making a few cautious early steps.
Following a quick slamming of the door and some shuffling, Rainstorm presumed it safe to make his way upstairs and into the restroom. Closing the door behind him he pushed the faucet of the shower to "ON", he stepped inside. Taking this time to ponder just what was happening at the moment was something Rainstorm needed, and there is no greater place to ponder the mysteries of life than within a hot shower. As the jets of hot water began to mat his coat and mane down against his skin, Rainstorm had to wonder who he was trying to impress.
I can not believe this...how did today's plans go from "hang out with friends" to "Oh hey I'll just go on a date with somepony I've known forever while I have a bucking concussion!"?!
Rainstorm sighed and leaned his head against the cool tile.
*THUNK*
"Owwww..."
Why am I even going through all of this? Trying to clean up and look nice...Pumpkin knows what I look like, what I smell like and Celestia knows she knows how I act...who exactly am I trying to fool?"
Rainstorm picked his soap bottle up in his mouth, squeezed some into his hoof, and began to lather himself with the bubbly gel.
Who are we ever trying to fool? To impress? If we cannot find love when we are exactly who we are, than we are not meant to love that pony. Only those who love us for us and we love them for them can we find true love, and not love of a cover. For to truly know love is to know that...
"RAINSTORM WHAT THE BUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR AN HOUR AND I GOTTA PEE!!!"
Rainstorm was torn from his deep, philosophical wondering to the frantic pounding of hooves and voices at his door. Quickly turning off the water and stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his mid-section and opened the door. He was met with a bursting energy and face of a frantic stallion desperately needing to relieve his bladder. After being knocked aside and falling for the umpteenth time that day, the door slammed beside him, and through 3 inches of wood he could hear the Hoofer damn bust, and millions of rushing fluid.
"Gross..."
"Hey sport, why ya getting cleaned up this time of day?"
Snowstorm spun around to see his mother standing behind him with a caring smile.
"And what's with the bandage on your head?" She added
"Um...well the bandage is cause I took a whack to the head from Pumpkin."
"Right hook?"
"Three times."
"Owch."
"Yeah..."
"And the shower at..." Rainbow paused to squint at the sun through a near-by window for a moment, "4 o'clock? ish?"
"Oh, I have a date." Rainstorm casually mentioned.
"What? Who with?!" Rainbow's eyes shot open.
"Cute redhead..." Rainstorm attempted to sound coy.
"GET SOME!" Rainbow hooted while extending a hoof into the air.
"Mom...I'm talking about Pumpkin..." Rainstorm deadpanned.
"Oh...then, uh, avoid getting punched? and get some?" Rainbow offered.
"I can't believe you just said that."
"Seriously? After all these years?" Rainbow asked.
"Somehow it simply never ceases to amaze."
The door behind them creaked open to reveil a much alleviated and somehow visibly lighter Snowstorm,
"WHEW! Ok...why do you have a bandage on your head?"
"Pumpkin."
"Right hook?"
"Uh-huh."
"And shower?"
"Date with her."
"Get some."
"Got that."
"Allright now that everypony's caught up to speed, where are you going?" Rainbow asked.
"Dinner and a walk through the park." Rainstorm stated, restating drying his fur.
"Playing it safe?" Rainbow asked
"Had to distinguish it as a 'date'" her son replied.
"Fair enough." Rainbow replied. "Wait...is this your first date? This is totally your first date isn't it? Like, with any pony!"
Rainstorm became visibly annoyed at his mother's bluntness and somewhat stupidity,"Yes mom. Thank you."
"No, I mean, I just...wow. You're growing up. This is...you know, big!" Rainbow stated, a genuine look of motherly love and mild concern flashing across her face.
"If you say so..." Snowstorm remarked while hanging up his towel.
"I feel like I should...I dunno take pictures or something..." Rainbow searched, "Do we even have a camera?"
*FLASHBACK!!
A window pane shattered outwards as a camera mounted to a tripod came sailing through it into the streets of ponyville, along with an exclamatory, "BUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"
*FLASHFORWARD!!
"I uh...I don't think so honey." Snowstorm gingerly added
"Huh...could have sworn..." Rainbow mused.
"How about some bits so I can pay for dinner?" Snowstorm offered with a smile.
"Eh...fine." Rainbow grabbed a small bag of bits in her mouth from a nearby counter-top and tossed them to her son, "also, wear a rubber."
"You don't."
"And here you are!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"Buuurrrnnnnn...." Snowstorm added.
"Don't need your help here dad..."
"And I didn't need you cock-blocking me an hour an a half ago so get over it."
A firm hoof made contact with Rainstorm's face, "This...this is my family..." Rainstorm whispered inwardly while dragging his hoof own his face.
"Why? Why, Celestia, Why?"
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Fun dialogue all around, this is why I'm scared of parents like that...
Why can't more parents and kids communicate like that?
alright, the "get some" parts made me laugh. a lot
A lot of this got my laughs and love, and some of it i probably shouldnt have laughed at :3
hahah! I forgot how funny this was! It's been so long since it updated.
Reminds me of me and my mom, except less sex-orientated and more along the lines of rampant, cheerful sarcasm and bickering.
Our conversations can be rather interesting at times.
Lol Dat was funnie
A window pane shattered outwards as a camera mounted to a tripod came sailing through it into the streets of ponyville, along with an exclamatory, "BUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"
lmfao nice. just just nice.
Trying not to wake my family...from laughter...fuck, I now may be grounded in the morning...
Why didn't you update and when is the next?
Best. Parental conversation. EVER!
can't wait for next update!
Yes yes yes!!! This is amazing! Another fantastic chapter of awesomeness. I am totally looking forward to the date. Get some! Or just aggressive passionate making out, I'm cool with that too.
Who else is looking forward to being like this with their kids?
Dude, I love your stories. Nothing huge, no giant world-threatening catasrophies. No deep meditation on the nature of life, no philosophy. Just short, cute, slice-of-life stories. Love ya, bro!
Also, "Get some!"
I just remembered why this is my second fave story after reading this.
My fave being Winter's Howl of course!
550886 Absolutely agreed.
HA HA HA in that order
This chapter was just pure fun ad that part where Snowstorm smashed the camera unbeknownst to Rainbow and yelled at the top of his lungs "BUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!" reminded me so much of my own dad. I really like how Rainbow and Snowstorm act as far as being parents and it's funny that Rainbow became the responsible one while still being herself. This was hilarious.
Peace Out.
SO
L
MUCH
L
"Also, wear a rubber"
... *sigh* Tis indeed quite hilarious.
seriously, how the hell do you make every chapter so celestia-damned funny?
All of my sides!
"Get some"? Seriously? What are these parents teaching this kid? Then again, it is Rainbow dash and her hubby.