The Worst of a Bad Situation

by NLRscout

Princess moon butt

Well when I was trying to decipher the big questions of life, why are we here, is there a god, etc etc, I realised I had been gone for quite some time, considering that the sun had almost set and the big beautiful moon was on the rise. I then realised I had no where to go, which gave my self esteem another critical hit, but I pushed on regardless. Looking around, I tried to scout out what would be my impromptu home for the night.

After about an hour of searching, I found what looked like a child's club house. I figured whomever it belonged to wouldn't mind my taking it for temporary shelter against the scary shit that dwelled in the nights embrace. I walked up to it and looked in the windows first, to make sure nobody was home. Next I walked away from the window and started towards the door. I pushed it in slowly as if there was a sleeping bear on the other side, and for all I know there was. While pushing the door slightly ajar, I peeked my head in to double check what I saw when I looked through the window. Nothing. Moving on I entered the rest of my body into the opening and shut the door behind me. Looking around the moonlight lit clubhouse, I saw drawings and crudely made contraptions that you would expect from a child's play place. I also spotted some sleeping bags and a lantern. Probably from when they camp out here. Moving toward the bedding, I laid down all three sleeping bags to use as a make shift bed and shut my eyes, hoping that when I wake, I'll be home. Sleep overtook me quickly and I welcomed it.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was back in my apartment! I shot out of bed with excitement and without putting clothes on ran down the stairs, into the parking lot, and cried tears of joy. Vespa. My vespa was sitting where it always was, as pristine as ever. As tears of happiness flowed freely down my cheeks, I ran towards her. I closed in on her and it was a beautiful sight to behold I'm sure. Once I reached her, I got down on my knees and hugged her. Nothing could ruin this moment.

"Quite an odd thing to hold such affection for, is it not?" Suddenly my tears of joy ran dry. I turned around and looked on in awe and sadness as I realised that this wasn't real. For there was a pony standing not five feet from me. "Art thou going to answer our question little one?" It asked. The pony in question, was taller than any of the other ponies I had saw earlier and instead of having just one, it had a horn AND wings. The cosmos seemed to dance in her mane while it blew in a wind that wasn't there. It was a dark blue, with its mane being a darker shade with a ghostly outline.

"Who are you?" I asked, curious to know who ripped me from my bliss.

"I am Princess Luna, co-ruler of equestria, along side my sister, Princess Celestia. Now who, and what are you? We haven't seen anything like you in our life." Oh well I should have figured from the feminine voice it was a girl but best to make sure right?

"My name is Jay, and I'm a human. And apperently an alien. I'm from a planet called Earth." At my explanation, she didn't look shocked or even surprised for that matter. All she did was give me a nod and say,

"Alright then." Seriously... how serious she was freaked me out a little. "Tell me, Jay, what are you doing here?"

"Um... hugging my vespa?" I said as I looked back and realised I was still attached to my scooter. I let go and looked back at Princess Luna. "Sorry, you probably want a legitimate answer, not my smart ass comments. As for why I'm here, I have about as big of a clue as you do. I have no idea." I looked down in sadness when I finished what I was saying. Luna, seeing my sadness, lifted her hoof to my chin and lifted my head so her eyes would meet mine.

"Do not be saddened by what you cannot control. Life deals blows that cripple, and sometimes you have to go with the flow." Heh... that rhymed. Even with my amusement, the message was not lost on me and I thought about it for a minute. She was right. Why be sad about shat I can't do anything about? When I can be sad that I have no where I can call home, no food, and no friends. Some call me a pessimest, but I prefer the term realist.

"What about my old life? What about my friend, that I had that one time? And most importantly, what about vespa?!" I asked dramatically.

"All those things are gone now, and you need to embrace your new life." How carelessly she said that made me angry.

"And what life is that!? Living off of garbage and fighting the wilderness my whole life just to die a bitter old man?!"

"It does not have to be that way. As the only one of your kind in this world, you have something valuable we could use."

"And what is that?" I asked, still heated.

"Knowledge." When she said that, I looked at her with a surprised look and said,

"What could you learn from me? I don't know anything, I just flipped burgers for a living."

"But you know about your planet correct? This means you have valuable knowledge we could use to further our understanding of our universe." I thought it over for a minute, taking into account all the variables. Well most of them anyways.

"What's in it for me?" I asked, selfishly. Just wanting to know about my own gain and not worry about others.

"A place to live, food, water, and company." Company? What did she mean by that?

"Company? Like, friends?"

"More like journalists and news ponies." I didn't like the sound of that.

"No thanks, I'd rather die alone than have every moment of my life poked and prodded at." That sounded a little darker than I meant it but Luna was a big girl and she could understand what I meant.

"I think you should reconsider. Living alone in the wilderness is no way to live at all."

"Neither is being constantly harassed by the media and used as nothing but a learning tool. I'm done with this conversation. Good bye." I said as I woke up.

Stretching my arms and legs, I let out a big yawn. I looked out the window facing the west and saw the sun was rising. I figured I best leave this clubhouse before its owners returned. I went about, removing every trace of me being here so none would be the wiser. As I finished I started to walk towards the door, only to hear the last sounds I wanted to. Children.

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[damnaion]

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