The Worst of a Bad Situation

by NLRscout

Oh Cool Talking Ponies

I've been told that, panicking is a quick way to nowhere but insanity. But I think in this situation, panicking was necessary for my sanity. I had just woken up, heard talking, stumbled into a room, and saw a talking... pony. In my defence, I didn't faint I lost consciousness. More manly that way. When I came to, everything was blurry and I heard hushed voices speaking out of what I assumed was concern. As my vision started to clear up, I realized I had a migraine, and let out a groan.

"Ugh, where am I?" I managed out before I looked around and saw I wasn't where I first fain- *ahem* Fell unconscious. Instead, I was in what looked like a library but had little "homie" touches and looked like someone lived there. What kind of nerdling lives in a library? Little did I know my silent question was about to be answered. My vision still not at 100% a purple blur approaches and beacons her friends to follow.

"Girls! Come quick, I think he's waking!" The purple one shouts behind her while she gets closer and more into view. It is then that I can see she is just like the yellow one I saw earlier and is indeed a pony. I just sat there in stunned silence as I watched her approach. Thinking to my self, 'this can't be real! How is this real?!' I missed half of her introduction.

"-rkle, you are currently in my home. My friend Fluttershy is the one who found you. With out her you might be dead, now, canon you tell me who you are? And more importantly, what you are?" When she finished with her little shpeal, I gave her an incredulous look and said with the most confidence I could muster,

"I-i am Jay and I'm a hu- human... am I gonna die?" Yeah probably not that smartest thing to come out of my mouth but fuck it, I was terrifyed and didn't have the best communication skills when it came to unicorns and talking ones at that! However, after I asked about my fate, the purple pony, who's name I didn't quite catch, looked at me with a consoling look and said in a softer voice than before,

"I'm not going to hurt you Jay, I'm just curious about you because I've never seen anything like you before! Well aside from certain types of apes. But the fact you can speak and wear clothing is what intreges me." Before I could say anything else, she started poking and prodding at my clothing.

"Hey! A little personal space please!" After I said that, she looked at me with an embaresed look.

"Sorry I'm just excited! I've never seen anything like you before!" She said happily. I gave her a weird look and said

"I think you said that already, what was your name again? It slipped my mind." I asked as nonobviously as I could.

"Oh, it's Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you Jay." She said with a smile and stuck her out her hoof. I just laughed in her face however about the ridiculousness of her name.

"Twilight Sparkle?! Hahaha what a retarded name!!" In hindsight this was a rotten and mean thing to do, but in my temporary insanity and almost certainty this was a dream, I made a mistake, and when I wiped the tears out of my eyes, I saw the ones in hers and immediately felt like a piece of shit.

"Hey. Hey now, I meant no harm, I was just kidding! I mean with a name like Jay I shouldn't even talk! My name isn't even really Jay! Its Jeremiah! And I'm Mexican! Even though you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm sorry, though, Twilight is a... beautiful name." I gave my best fake smile and tried to forget about those shitty movies. My bullshitting seemed to have done trick, because Twilight stopped crying and just smiled. Crisis averted I moved my attention to those around me. Apperently, in the middle of me and Twilight's talk, her friends surrounded us. The only one I recognized was the yellow one from eariler. The rest consisted with of an orange pony with a blond mane and she ( I was assuming ) was rocking a cowboy hat, the next beside her was a pure white pony with an extensively extavigant purple mane, next was the buttercup yellow one from eariler now that I got a closer look, I realized she had wings, huh. Weird. The next in line after her was a sky blue pony with a prismatic mane, she also had wings. After that I all I could utter out was,

"Uh... hi?" Right after I said that my whole vision consisted of pink and I had an inkling I was on the ground again. When I regained my awareness I heard something chattering at insane speeds, and I felt my migraine coming back.

"And then we can have cake and ice cream and I'll invite every pony and we can BOOGIE!!" That was all the blob of pink could get out before one of her friends intervened.

"Pinkie, for the last time, it is unbecoming of a lady to tackle hug new ponies!" My saviour cried, I gasped for breathe as the pink menace was pulled away.

"Awww. But I wasn't hurting him, he's fine, see?" She motioned toward me while I was trying to catch my breathe and failing miserably.

"Still, there is no reason for such behavior! I apologise on the account of my friend here, Mr?" She left the question open and gave me an opportunity I don't think anyone could pass up.

" Bond. Jay Bond." Its cheesy I know but I didn't care, and they seemed to buy it.

"Ah well Mr. Bond I am Rarity, and the one who attacked you is Pinkie Pie. She is quite... eccentric." Just then Pinkie shouted from the back of the room,

"Hey! Don't use words I don't know!" I just chuckled at their back and forth.

"Its fine, and what's the point of life if you can't live a little huh? Haha" I assured her and chuckled at my own joke.

"Well yes you do have a point there, and seeing as how you've already met me, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, why don't I introduce you to the others hmm?" She asked rhetorically as she started to name her other friends.

"This is Applejack, she and her family own the farm just outside of town," she explained as the orange cowpony grabbed ahold of my hand with both hooves and shook them with such fury, I thought my hand was going to spontaneously combust.

"Nice ta meet ya partner, names Applejack, course you already know that on account of Rarity tellin ya!"

"N-ni-nice t-to meet you t-too!" I stuttered out. As soon as that was over Rarity moved on to the next pony,

"This is Rainbow Dash, she is on the weather team and helps clear the sky." After she is finished telling me, Rainbow pushes Rarity out of the way and starts cockily making her own introduction.

"Not only am I on the weather team, I'm the fastest flier in equestria!" I can already tell I won't like her very much.

"Nice to meet you Rainbow Dash." Intros aside I decide to ask the question I wanted to know from the time I woke up.

"Where am I?"

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