I Shouldn't Give Openings Like That
Ever have one of those days where you know something special is gonna happen? Where you wake up, and a small voice in your head tells you that today is a special day? A day where you know, not just suspect, that something big, significant, or eventful will happen?
If you get that kind of warning, you got more than me. I woke up and felt like I did any other day. Maybe a bit more hungry, but I had a small dinner the night before.
My days start, and end, generally the same way. Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, go to school. When school gets out, I walk home, get on my laptop, or Xbox, or whatever, and procrastinate until the day is over. Usually no variation happens in my day. The most interesting stuff usually happens either with my friends at school, or in my own mind.
Today was like any other day. I woke up when my mom told me to (unlike my brother), I brushed my teeth, and then got in the car and went off to school.
When I got to school, I sat down in homeroom, and went to get my notebook out. What I found in there should have tipped me off that today was an odd day. In my bag, I found cotton candy. Just that. No bag for the stuff to be in, no note from a friend who might have pranked me, just a pink ball of sugary goodness.
At first, I was pissed. And rightfully so, I think. I mean, how would you react if you found cotton candy all over that English assignment that you’ve been working on for the past three weeks? ‘Cause thats what happened. Eventually, though, I found myself a little happy that it happened. I was probably gonna fail that assignment, so now I have more time to do better. And I have a snack for the rest of the day!
After the discovery of the cotton candy, my day went back to normal. I did my work (when I was awake for it), and I went home. That’s when he showed up.
I sat at my desk, watching the TV that my Xbox is hooked up to. I was watching a cutscene from Mass Effect 2. I was contemplating if I should punch this reporter in the face, or not. The Renegade option came up, and I hit the button. Just as the punch was gonna hit, a paw shot through the screen and hit me right in the face.
To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. Fists just don’t come out of a TV screen. They just don’t do that. It makes no sense.
“Make Sense?” A mocking voice asked, “Oh, what fun is their in making sense?”
I knew the voice. I knew who it belonged to, what he was, and I could probably guess why he’s here.
Instead of throwing a witty and sarcastic remark back at the chimera, I groaned in pain. Being punched in the face isn’t liable to make you ready for verbal combat.
“Oh, I must apologise for my entrance. Though, to be fair, you really shouldn’t give someone like me such an opening. I’m bound to exploit it.” he said, floating over me.
I glowered up at the spirit of disharmony. “If you wanted to make an entrance,” I said my voice full of annoyance,” you could have used the front door. That’s what they’re for.”
He just smiled at me.
“What the hell do you want?” I growled at him.
The spirits smile widened. “I’m glad you ask! But before we get to that, I think introductions are in order!”
He snapped his fingers, and the lights went dim. A drum appeared out of nowhere and started to play a suspenseful beat.
“Before you stands the one. The only. The master of Chaos. The Spirit of Disha-”
I interrupted him by kicking over the drum.
“I know who you are. Your Discord, Spirit of Disharmony, Master of Chaos. You also exist in a reality with magical talking ponies in it. Apparently, you were some sort of super bady or something.” I crossed my arms. “Now I repeat. What. The Hell. Do. You. Want?”
He pouted at me. “ You may know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. It’s only fair that you tell me your name, if you already know mine.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He mimicked me.
“Fine. But only for the sake of balance.” He had a subtle smile when I said the word ‘balance’. “I am Connor Jason Hents, high school student. Now, would you kindly tell me what you are doing here?”
He beamed at me. “Wonderful! Now, I suppose you are wondering why I am here.”
I just glared at him.
His smile widened. “ Of course you are. Now, as you might know I come from a land called Equestria. You are familiar with it, yes?”
I was. I had started watching the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ever since the middle of season two. The show was a guilty pleasure of mine. But eventually I found out just how interesting the stuff outside of the show was. Music, art, stories, all of these things were part of my daily life, and I fell in love with the community at large. It was one of those things that brought entertainment to my normally boring life.
“Yeah, I know the place.” I responded.
“Well, Equestria generally is a dangerous place. There are all kinds of monsters, dangerous animals, and spirits that want to do harm to the ponies, and non-ponies, there.”
“Like you?” I asked.
He got a disgusted look on his face. “Ugh! I have never, and would never, severely harm any of the beings in that land! That would break the rules! What I did was for entertainment value!”
I raised an eyebrow at that, “Rules? What rules?”
He waved his paw at me, “I’ll get there. just be patient. As I was saying, there are all kinds of things that want to hurt the citizens of the land. But there are many, many more who want to do more than just kill the ponies.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, there are entities out there who don’t want to just kill the ponies. They want that reality gone. As in ‘poof, reality destroyed’.”
My eyebrows lifted at that. “ There are things that want to destroy their reality?”
He nodded. “Yup. And its not just Equestria. Those beings want all of existence to be destroyed. They want there to be nothing left.”
“Wouldn’t that mean that those beings get destroyed, too? I mean, if existence goes ‘poof’ wouldn’t they go along with it?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t matter to them. They aren’t designed to care for their own well being, just to make sure they destroy Everything.”
There was still a question that bothered me… “What does this have to do with me?”
Discord smiled again. “Every reality had a Guardian. A being that is designed to protect that reality at any cost. Your reality, for example has a very powerful one guarding it. He’s even in a book here. I believe it’s call the ‘Bible’?”
My eyes widened. “God?”
“Well, that’s what you call him. He’s got a different name to all the other guardians.”
“Guardians…” I muttered, my brain processing. Then my eyes snapped to his. “That’s you. You’re Equestria’s Guardian.”
He jumped into the air, his arms and legs spread wide, his smile going from ear to ear. “ Yes, indeed! You’ve just one the Grand Prize!” He snapped his fingers, and a bunch of confetti rained onto me. A cookie appeared, floating, right in front of my face. I took the cookie, and looked at Discord speculatively.
“If you’re Equestria’s Guardian, why are you here? And for that matter, why did you let yourself get turned to stone?”
His smile turned a little sad. “Well, as you now know, every reality has a Guardian. Not every Guardian is as benevolent as your realities’. Celestia and Luna thought I needed to be stopped, so they stopped me with the Elements of Harmony. I let them because i couldn’t get out of that stone prison. I’m still there, in fact. ‘God’ is just helping me project my essence to you. As for why I am here, that requires a bit more explanation.”
He snapped his fingers, and he reappeared in my chair, which had fallen over when he punched me. “ Every reality has a Guardian. But not every guardian can last as long as someone like your’s can. Your Guardian was the third. Ever. When existence was created, your reality was the third ever made, and your Guardian has been their since the beginning. But not every Guardian can be. Equestria’s Guardian needs to be replaced every 500,000 years. We eventually start to lose our power, and so we need to transfer our mantle to another host.That’s why I can’t leave the stone prison I’m in. I’m just too weak. So, I need to transfer my power to a new vessel.”
My eyes widened in comprehension. Discord gave me a toothy smile. “That’s right, Human. I’m, talking about you. You are to be my successor.”
I shook my head at him. “No. Nope. It can’t be me. I’m just some regular old kid from New England. I don’t know about any of this stuff.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll learn.” He responded.
“Why me?” I sighed.
I didn’t really ask him, but Discord responded, “You came recommended. Apparently, most humans don’t have the mindset to handle a job like this. Most would have freaked out when they saw me. But not you. No, you’re special.”
I thought about it for a minute. He was right of course. Most people would have probably gone into some sort of shock, so they wouldn’t have to deal with the reality that was presented to them. I didn’t. I just took it in stride, not really questioning anything because I know that I know nothing. I’m just teenager. I haven’t even finished my high school education, yet here I was, discussing things that would have probably driven most men into shock.
“Wait,” I said after a moment, “ what do you mean ‘I came recommended’?”
“‘God’ apparently has a high opinion of you. High enough to recommend you for a job that would more or less make you his equil.” Discord explained.
Huh. I musta mad God extra happy when i gave a dollar to that homeless guy.
“Um… Okay? So if I get this right, you want to give me your mantle of power to make me the Guardian of Equestria, so you can retire. That right.”
He nodded, “That sums it up quite nicely.”
I blew out a breath. “Well, if you think I can do it.”
Discord appeared next to me and slapped me on the back. “That’s the spirit! Not like you had a choice anyway.”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He smiled at me. “ You already took the job, kid. The cotton candy? That was a manifestation of my power. Good thing you didn’t share it with your friends, otherwise that power would have spread to them too. That would have made things complicated.”
I stared at him in silence. Then my face screwed up into a scowl. “That was you who put that there?! You jackass! I spent the last three weeks on that paper!”
He laughed. “Oh, its good to see you aren’t to concerned with the fact you unwittingly took up the power of an essential god. You’ll do just fine, I think.”
“Well, why worry about what you can’t change. Anyway, when do I start?”
“Right away!” he said. “all you have to do is strike a pose!”
I gave him a look of skepticism. “A pose?”
He nodded “A pose! I’m trapped in stone, and you’ll be taking my place! Literally!”
“How will I get out of the stone?” I asked.
“Don’t worry, an associate of mine will help you. Now strike a pose!”
I shrugged and struck a pose. It vaguely resembled the Thinker statue.
Discord beamed at me. “Wonderful! Now, I’ll send you off with one piece of advice.”
He leaned down to look me in the eyes. “Make as little sense as possible. It helps throw off any enemy you might find. Knocks them off their feet, we’ll say.”
And with that, Discord opened a portal to Equestria, where I would end up to be the Guardian of their entire reality, and save it from eldritch abominations that are beyond mortal comprehension, demons that would see that every living thing be dead, and monsters that cross boundaries that even the worst of use wouldn’t dare defile. And it would all start with me, as a statue.
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Huh. Not a bad start. I'd like to see where this goes.
Great concept, but you're in dire need of an editor.
I'll admit, it is a little rough around the edges. Couple'a spelling mistakes, use of the wrong homophones, and the like. But it is good.
The way you portrayed Connor as the kind of guy who just took this all in stride, while just a little strange, works with what you've given of his character so far.
The plot looks to be very interesting, if nothing else. While I don't exactly like the 'Human takes up mantle of a god-like being' plot, I have this strange feeling that this will work.
3534989 Yeah, the whole mantle of power thing will be a little OP, but I plan to try and level it out wth a set of rules. Give him a set of laws that he just can't break. Hopefully that will be able to even out the playing field a little.
I love this. Already.
3536294 And it loves you. I think...
3536431
The story loves me?
Should I be scared?
3536451 Maybe a little.
OOH YES BANANA PANCAKES!
MOER!
3537339 I'm more of a Blueberry Muffin kind of guy. Never really had Banana Pancakes. Or are you just saying that to be gratuitous?
3537446
jes
If this story were as person I'd hug them so hard
So let me get this straight.... guardians were created to stop baddies who were created to destroy everything...
Only a Supreme Troll God would create entities to destroy everything just so they could then create a slew of other gods to protect everything.
Oh... that's right. I did do that, didn't I? Well, seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost died while reading that.
I am not gonna lie, I was a slight bit angry over the premise of how he was chosen and why, but I guess I'll still give this story a try since it seems to have a good premise.
- just won the Grand Prize!
- been there since
- I’m just a teenager
- equal
- I must'a made/I must of made
Alright I'll bite. And I have only seen one other story like this.
Keep up the great work.