Stop Thinking For A Minute

by ThatBlueScreenGuy

First published

My day had been so normal. Now there's a draconequus in my room. How did he get there? He punched me in the face. Now he's going on about protecting all of reality. Yeah, I think I need to sit down.

My day had been so normal.
Now there's a draconequus in my room, and he's talking about protecting all of reality or something.
I'm more concerned about why he had to punch me in the face to start the conversation.
Yeah, I need to sit down and think about this one.

Oh boy! Another HiE story! But you have to admit, you don't see many of this kind.
First attempt at a fic, so criticism is appreciated.
Takes place near the end of season 2

I Shouldn't Give Openings Like That

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Ever have one of those days where you know something special is gonna happen? Where you wake up, and a small voice in your head tells you that today is a special day? A day where you know, not just suspect, that something big, significant, or eventful will happen?

If you get that kind of warning, you got more than me. I woke up and felt like I did any other day. Maybe a bit more hungry, but I had a small dinner the night before.

My days start, and end, generally the same way. Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, go to school. When school gets out, I walk home, get on my laptop, or Xbox, or whatever, and procrastinate until the day is over. Usually no variation happens in my day. The most interesting stuff usually happens either with my friends at school, or in my own mind.

Today was like any other day. I woke up when my mom told me to (unlike my brother), I brushed my teeth, and then got in the car and went off to school.

When I got to school, I sat down in homeroom, and went to get my notebook out. What I found in there should have tipped me off that today was an odd day. In my bag, I found cotton candy. Just that. No bag for the stuff to be in, no note from a friend who might have pranked me, just a pink ball of sugary goodness.

At first, I was pissed. And rightfully so, I think. I mean, how would you react if you found cotton candy all over that English assignment that you’ve been working on for the past three weeks? ‘Cause thats what happened. Eventually, though, I found myself a little happy that it happened. I was probably gonna fail that assignment, so now I have more time to do better. And I have a snack for the rest of the day!

After the discovery of the cotton candy, my day went back to normal. I did my work (when I was awake for it), and I went home. That’s when he showed up.

I sat at my desk, watching the TV that my Xbox is hooked up to. I was watching a cutscene from Mass Effect 2. I was contemplating if I should punch this reporter in the face, or not. The Renegade option came up, and I hit the button. Just as the punch was gonna hit, a paw shot through the screen and hit me right in the face.

To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. Fists just don’t come out of a TV screen. They just don’t do that. It makes no sense.

“Make Sense?” A mocking voice asked, “Oh, what fun is their in making sense?”

I knew the voice. I knew who it belonged to, what he was, and I could probably guess why he’s here.

Instead of throwing a witty and sarcastic remark back at the chimera, I groaned in pain. Being punched in the face isn’t liable to make you ready for verbal combat.

“Oh, I must apologise for my entrance. Though, to be fair, you really shouldn’t give someone like me such an opening. I’m bound to exploit it.” he said, floating over me.

I glowered up at the spirit of disharmony. “If you wanted to make an entrance,” I said my voice full of annoyance,” you could have used the front door. That’s what they’re for.”

He just smiled at me.

“What the hell do you want?” I growled at him.

The spirits smile widened. “I’m glad you ask! But before we get to that, I think introductions are in order!”

He snapped his fingers, and the lights went dim. A drum appeared out of nowhere and started to play a suspenseful beat.

“Before you stands the one. The only. The master of Chaos. The Spirit of Disha-”

I interrupted him by kicking over the drum.

“I know who you are. Your Discord, Spirit of Disharmony, Master of Chaos. You also exist in a reality with magical talking ponies in it. Apparently, you were some sort of super bady or something.” I crossed my arms. “Now I repeat. What. The Hell. Do. You. Want?”

He pouted at me. “ You may know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. It’s only fair that you tell me your name, if you already know mine.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. He mimicked me.

“Fine. But only for the sake of balance.” He had a subtle smile when I said the word ‘balance’. “I am Connor Jason Hents, high school student. Now, would you kindly tell me what you are doing here?”

He beamed at me. “Wonderful! Now, I suppose you are wondering why I am here.”

I just glared at him.

His smile widened. “ Of course you are. Now, as you might know I come from a land called Equestria. You are familiar with it, yes?”

I was. I had started watching the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ever since the middle of season two. The show was a guilty pleasure of mine. But eventually I found out just how interesting the stuff outside of the show was. Music, art, stories, all of these things were part of my daily life, and I fell in love with the community at large. It was one of those things that brought entertainment to my normally boring life.
“Yeah, I know the place.” I responded.

“Well, Equestria generally is a dangerous place. There are all kinds of monsters, dangerous animals, and spirits that want to do harm to the ponies, and non-ponies, there.”
“Like you?” I asked.

He got a disgusted look on his face. “Ugh! I have never, and would never, severely harm any of the beings in that land! That would break the rules! What I did was for entertainment value!”

I raised an eyebrow at that, “Rules? What rules?”

He waved his paw at me, “I’ll get there. just be patient. As I was saying, there are all kinds of things that want to hurt the citizens of the land. But there are many, many more who want to do more than just kill the ponies.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, there are entities out there who don’t want to just kill the ponies. They want that reality gone. As in ‘poof, reality destroyed’.”

My eyebrows lifted at that. “ There are things that want to destroy their reality?”

He nodded. “Yup. And its not just Equestria. Those beings want all of existence to be destroyed. They want there to be nothing left.”

“Wouldn’t that mean that those beings get destroyed, too? I mean, if existence goes ‘poof’ wouldn’t they go along with it?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter to them. They aren’t designed to care for their own well being, just to make sure they destroy Everything.”

There was still a question that bothered me… “What does this have to do with me?”

Discord smiled again. “Every reality had a Guardian. A being that is designed to protect that reality at any cost. Your reality, for example has a very powerful one guarding it. He’s even in a book here. I believe it’s call the ‘Bible’?”

My eyes widened. “God?”

“Well, that’s what you call him. He’s got a different name to all the other guardians.”

“Guardians…” I muttered, my brain processing. Then my eyes snapped to his. “That’s you. You’re Equestria’s Guardian.”

He jumped into the air, his arms and legs spread wide, his smile going from ear to ear. “ Yes, indeed! You’ve just one the Grand Prize!” He snapped his fingers, and a bunch of confetti rained onto me. A cookie appeared, floating, right in front of my face. I took the cookie, and looked at Discord speculatively.

“If you’re Equestria’s Guardian, why are you here? And for that matter, why did you let yourself get turned to stone?”
His smile turned a little sad. “Well, as you now know, every reality has a Guardian. Not every Guardian is as benevolent as your realities’. Celestia and Luna thought I needed to be stopped, so they stopped me with the Elements of Harmony. I let them because i couldn’t get out of that stone prison. I’m still there, in fact. ‘God’ is just helping me project my essence to you. As for why I am here, that requires a bit more explanation.”

He snapped his fingers, and he reappeared in my chair, which had fallen over when he punched me. “ Every reality has a Guardian. But not every guardian can last as long as someone like your’s can. Your Guardian was the third. Ever. When existence was created, your reality was the third ever made, and your Guardian has been their since the beginning. But not every Guardian can be. Equestria’s Guardian needs to be replaced every 500,000 years. We eventually start to lose our power, and so we need to transfer our mantle to another host.That’s why I can’t leave the stone prison I’m in. I’m just too weak. So, I need to transfer my power to a new vessel.”

My eyes widened in comprehension. Discord gave me a toothy smile. “That’s right, Human. I’m, talking about you. You are to be my successor.”

I shook my head at him. “No. Nope. It can’t be me. I’m just some regular old kid from New England. I don’t know about any of this stuff.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll learn.” He responded.

“Why me?” I sighed.

I didn’t really ask him, but Discord responded, “You came recommended. Apparently, most humans don’t have the mindset to handle a job like this. Most would have freaked out when they saw me. But not you. No, you’re special.”

I thought about it for a minute. He was right of course. Most people would have probably gone into some sort of shock, so they wouldn’t have to deal with the reality that was presented to them. I didn’t. I just took it in stride, not really questioning anything because I know that I know nothing. I’m just teenager. I haven’t even finished my high school education, yet here I was, discussing things that would have probably driven most men into shock.

“Wait,” I said after a moment, “ what do you mean ‘I came recommended’?”

“‘God’ apparently has a high opinion of you. High enough to recommend you for a job that would more or less make you his equil.” Discord explained.

Huh. I musta mad God extra happy when i gave a dollar to that homeless guy.

“Um… Okay? So if I get this right, you want to give me your mantle of power to make me the Guardian of Equestria, so you can retire. That right.”

He nodded, “That sums it up quite nicely.”

I blew out a breath. “Well, if you think I can do it.”

Discord appeared next to me and slapped me on the back. “That’s the spirit! Not like you had a choice anyway.”
I blinked at him. “What?”

He smiled at me. “ You already took the job, kid. The cotton candy? That was a manifestation of my power. Good thing you didn’t share it with your friends, otherwise that power would have spread to them too. That would have made things complicated.”

I stared at him in silence. Then my face screwed up into a scowl. “That was you who put that there?! You jackass! I spent the last three weeks on that paper!”

He laughed. “Oh, its good to see you aren’t to concerned with the fact you unwittingly took up the power of an essential god. You’ll do just fine, I think.”

“Well, why worry about what you can’t change. Anyway, when do I start?”

“Right away!” he said. “all you have to do is strike a pose!”

I gave him a look of skepticism. “A pose?”

He nodded “A pose! I’m trapped in stone, and you’ll be taking my place! Literally!”

“How will I get out of the stone?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, an associate of mine will help you. Now strike a pose!”

I shrugged and struck a pose. It vaguely resembled the Thinker statue.

Discord beamed at me. “Wonderful! Now, I’ll send you off with one piece of advice.”

He leaned down to look me in the eyes. “Make as little sense as possible. It helps throw off any enemy you might find. Knocks them off their feet, we’ll say.”

And with that, Discord opened a portal to Equestria, where I would end up to be the Guardian of their entire reality, and save it from eldritch abominations that are beyond mortal comprehension, demons that would see that every living thing be dead, and monsters that cross boundaries that even the worst of use wouldn’t dare defile. And it would all start with me, as a statue.

Being Stone Sucks

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Celestia has seen a lot of things in her time. She’s seen creatures that most have only heard of in legends. She’s seen entire cities made up entirely of crystals. She’s faced evils that none dared to oppose, and she won. She has seen much in her long life, and it seemed to her that nothing could surprise her. Until she saw this thing, that is.

She stood in Canterlot Garden, looking at a statue. She used to come down to this spot to think, and to remember just what she fought for. She would come here, and remember the time when Discord ruled.

Only, she can’t do that now. The statue of Discord was replaced with the statue of a creature she had never seen before. The thing sat on a stone stool, and by the way it sat, she guessed it was bipedal. The thing was hunched forward, with one of its arms on its knee, the other having its hand just under its chin.

When she followed the trail to the face, she most definitely could tell that it was some kind of primate, if the hands weren’t an indication. It was flat faced, its mouth just under its nose. The eyes were just above, and on either side of, the nose. There was a mop of hair just on top of the things head, the style short, but spiky on top. It definitely had an interesting face.

When she did a second look over the creature, she noticed it wore clothes. It had shoes, pants, and what looked like a jacket with a hood. So apparently this thing would have been sentient.

She continued to stare at the statue, wondering just what it was. Or better yet, why did it replace the Discord statue? Things of this significance don’t just happen, they have to mean something. But what? What did this mean?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of flapping wings. She looked over her shoulder and, as she had guessed, saw her sister, Luna, flying towards her.

“Good afternoon, Luna.” Celestia said with a warm smile.

Luna returned the smile, “Greetings, Sister. I had thought I would find thee here.”

Celestia gave a small smile to that. “Yes, well, I suppose I just needed to remember some things.” She frowned,”But when I got here, I found this instead of Discord.” She waved a hoof at the strange statue.

Luna tilted her head to the side. “It appears to be some kind of primate. What does thou think it is?

Celestia shook her head. “I don’t know. I have never seen something quite like this before. But that isn’t what I’m concerned about. What concerns me is that it took Discords place on the pedestal.”

“Indeed,” Luna agreed. “Perhaps, since it tooks Discords prison, we could release it. Once released, we could ask it questions, if it can answer.”

Celestia thought about that for a moment. Finally she shook her head. “I think that would be a good idea, if we had the Elements of Harmony with us. Currently, the Bearers are in Ponyville.”

“We could summon them to us. ‘Tis a three hour train ride from Ponyville. Less if we send a chariot to them.”

“Perhaps that would be wise.” Celestia looked a little unsure, but after a moment, she nodded her head firmly. “Send a letter to Twilight Sparkle, if you please, Sister. We can remove the creature from its stone prison tomorrow.”

Luna nodded and spread her wings. She was about to take off, when she heard an odd noise. “Sister,” she said,”did thou hear that as well?”

Celestia tilted her head. “Hear what?”

Luna surveyed the area around her, looking for the source of the noise. When the sound didn’t repeat itself, Luna shook her head. “Mayhaps it was my imagina-”

The sound was heard again. This time Celestia heard it as well.

“There!” Luna said,”That noise! What does thou think it is?”

The two looked around the area, trying to find the source of the noise. When it was heard again, both sisters looked straight at the statue.

Celestia cautiously trotted forward, examining the stone for the source of the noise.

When she heard it again, her eyes were drawn the the chest of the being. Thats when she noticed something that made her more than a little scared.

Inside that statue, was a being of unknown origin, with unknown power, and unknown intent. If she could, she would only release the creature when she was sure that the situation could be contained. She would only face it with her sister and all Elements of Harmony at her side. But she wouldn’t be able to do that.

Because cracks started to form on the statue.

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Being stone sucks.

That’s the best way to describe it. It sucks.

Really, it makes sense when you think about it. I mean, the human body is almost fifty to sixty percent water, depending on body fat. Turning all that water into a solid object is an incredibly uncomfortable experience. It’s like having all of your bones lock together. Your blood feels like it should be pushed around, but when your heart pumps, all you get is this weird thruming feeling throughout your body. You’re also stuck in the same position you were frozen in. For me, that was the Thinker. When I stuck the pose, my left foot was twisted in a bit of an uncomfortable way. When I was frozen, my foot got stuck like that. Now, I can’t move it to make myself comfortable! I also had an itch on my nose that, now, I can’t scratch.

So, I reiterate. Being stone sucks.

“I can imagine.” said a warm, deep voice in my head.

One second my thoughts were of destroying all stone everywhere, and the next my thoughts were filled with the image of a man.

He was about medium height, and had the build of a long distance runner. All lean muscle. He wore all white clothes. White shirt, white jeans, and white sneakers, all of which matched his hair. When I saw (thought-saw) his eyes, I was filled with an inner warmth I had never felt before. Its was the kind of warmth you got from a hot shower after a long day of work, or the feeling of a soft puppy curling against your stomach. It felt like both those things, only more. When I looked into those eyes, I saw a vastness that I had never seen before. That no mortal mind had ever seen before, without being turned into a babbling wreck. Those were the eyes of someone who has truly seen all that has, and all that will.

The man smirked at me. “Truly, a poetic way of describing me. Though, I feel I should point out that I haven’t everything. Just a lot.”

He had heard that? Man, this guy must be in my head, or something.

The man put a finger to his nose. “Got it in one, my friend. Yes, I can, in fact, hear your thoughts. Your vocal cords aren’t working at the moment, being stone and all, so this is how we have to communicate. I take it you know who I am?”

I had a few guesses. He was that associate Discord had talked about.

He nodded. “Indeed. I owed him a favor, and this is how he decided to cash it in. I had me be your adviser for the time being. At least until you get a handle on your newfound power.”

Okay, so Discord decided to set me up with a little helper, so I wouldn’t end up destroying all of Equestria.

“The physical Equestria, at any rate. You do not have the power to destroy the fabric of this reality, thankfully. You do, however, have enough power to be a danger to yourself, as well as Equestria. That point actually brings me to why I am here. You need to know the rules.”

Yeah, Discord mentioned rules. But before you teach me what I need, I would like to know the name of the mentor teaching me.

He blinked. “Child, you don’t know? I thought you had already figured it out.”

I think I did, but I want to be sure, so I don’t insult you or something.

He let out a rich little laugh. “Trust me, it will take more than getting my name wrong to insult or anger me. But I suppose I understand your request. I’ve got a lot of names, my friend, but recently I have been going by the name of Isaac.” He did a curt little bow. “At your service.”

Not the name I would have suspected, but I suppose it fits.

He smiled at me. “Now that we have introductions out of the way, we need to get down to business.” He looked at me speculatively. “I assume Discord has told you some of what you are meant to do?”

I would have nodded, if my head weren’t stone.

He chuckled. “I can imagine it isn’t fun being stone. Anyway, on topic. We, as Guardians, are meant to protect our charges from those that would destroy all of reality. Many do this in different ways. I did it by just being as powerful as I can be to scare the enemy away. Some others that I know have made their reality seem unappealing to the entities, to make it seem it isn’t worth attacking just yet. How you do it, doesn’t matter. What does matter, though, are the rules that every Guardian must follow. Rule one: you are not allowed to kill. Not a thing. Be it animal, monster, demon, or person, you are not allowed to kill a thing. Breaking this offense will lead to being cast out from your reality, and all your power being striped from you. Understood?”

Ok, no killing. I can work with that. What about the other rules?

“Rule two: No conquest.”

If I could move, I’d be looking at him speculatively. What do you mean ‘No Conquest’?

“You are not allowed to use your power to rule or dominate your reality.” He explained, “You can make yourself to be a god and have the people value your word, but you can not, under any circumstances, use your power to directly lead or rule. Breaking this rule will result in imprisonment, or a loss of your power.”

I would have quirked an eyebrow. Didn’t Discord do exactly that?

Isaac looked down for a moment, before responding,”Discord was growing old. The power you carry influences its holder, but we can never tell how they react to it until they have it. The influence is usually the worst near the end of a Guardians life span. For Discord, it drove him mad. He tried to conquer Equestria, and would have, if not for the fail safe he put in place.”

Fail safe?

He nodded,”I believe he called them the Elements of Harmony. He created them for when he would be gone. It is a means for the peoples of the realm to be able to have a passing chance of defending themselves against the monsters we Guardians face. He also had them made for when the power got to him. He knew it would, eventually. He just didn’t know in what way. So, he made the Elements of Harmony just in case the worst came to pass.” He looked sad for a moment. “Like it has…”

I didn’t comment on the sad look. So, this power will influence my personality?

His face lifted,”And your appearance. Any clothes you might wear will change themselves to fit a more ‘chaotic’ look. And don’t worry about the personality changes. This early on, they are hardly noticeable, and never a bad thing. You might end up speaking your mind more than you used too. Or maybe doing more erratic things. But for now, you don’t need to worry.”

Ok, I can live with that. Any more rules I need to know?

He thought about it for a second. Then he said,”Only one more for the time being. You might run into a situation where another rule comes into play, but for now you need to only worry about the main three.”

I would have nodded, but stone, y’know?

He got a small smile out of that. “The third rule is this: anything you do with your power must be reversible. Say if you spawn a rubber chicken, you need to be able to make it disappear. If you uproot a tree, you need to be able to replace said tree. Basically, whatever you do, you need to be able to undo it. You don’t necessarily have to all the time, but sometimes big things need to be undone.”

Ok, so the rules are no killing, no ruling, and be able to undo everything that I do with my power. That right?

He smiled. “Yes, that’s about it. If you ever need advice, be sure to contact me, and I’ll help however I can.”

Well, it would be nice if I could get out of this stone prison…

His smile widened. “Ah, that I can’t help with. Only you can get out of it yourself. But I can offer some advice before I go.”

Oh? And what’s that?

“Will yourself to be.”

And with that cryptic bit of advice, he disappeared from my mental landscape.

Will myself to be… What the Hell does that mean? This is probably just a test to see if I can get up the power to break out.

I thought about the statement a bit. Will myself to be… Well, to be able to do that, I first need to find myself. So, I searched my head, calling up every memory I remember. After I did that, call summoned every feeling that I’ve felt, and relived it. All the aches and pains of life. Bad tasting foods. Good tasting foods. All the comforts and discomforts I have ever felt, and eventually, I came across something new. It was power, plain and simple. It wanted nothing more than to be used, to see the user’s will be fulfilled. This was the power Discord gave me, and I needed to use it to get out of my new stony home.

I brought forth that will, and forced myself to be.

And cracks started to form on the statue.

Entrances, And Why They're A Bad Idea

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Well, I got out of the stone…

Only problem with that is that I accidentally made myself into pure water…

Ok, maybe I should back up a minute or two.

The cracks on my statue started to form, but I had a sudden thought. I don’t know what I’ll turn into when I get out. That thought startled me for a minute. I had always liked the prospect of going to Equestria (Being a Brony and all), but I always said I wouldn’t go if I had to turn into a pony. I was a human, and that’s the way it was gonna stay.

So, thinking about that fact, I tried to divert the newly found Will, and shape it into a human. The human body being 50-60 percent water (depending on body fat), and the rest flesh, organs, meat, tissue, and all that other stuff the human body is made of. I’m pretty sure this is where I went wrong.

You see, I knew a lot of the human body was water. I knew that. But I think the power I feed the info to just read it as ‘being of pure water’

So that’s why, when the stone of the statue burst, I was shot out as fresh lake water. How did I know it was lake water? I have no idea, but it was a gut feeling. Or it would have been, if I had any guts.

The water exploded from the statue, spraying all over the area in a twenty foot radius. It was honestly weird being in so many places at once. It was like every drop of water was its own set of eyes, and all that imagery together made for a VERY large field of view. Large enough to see the two ponies that were trying to get water out of their eyes to the left of the pedestal. Two ponies I recognised.

As it turns out, Celestia and Luna don’t like being covered in human-turned-statue-turned-water. Must not be good for their coats.

“Sister?” Luna asked..

“Yes, Luna?” Celestia responded.

“What has just happened?”

Celestia thought about it for a moment. Then she said, “I haven’t the slightest.”

Luna nodded. “Me too.”

The two looked at each other, then burst out into a fit of giggles.

“I can’t believe,” Celestia said between laughs, “that I was worried about some statute that would only explode like a water balloon.”

Luna nodded, still giggling.

As touching as it is to see two sisters giggle like a bunch of school girls over what seemed like a prank to them, I still had important things to worry about. Such as being wholly water.

I thought about how I would get out of this mess. So, the magic that I had used turned me into water because it interpreted 50 percent water into COMPLETELY water. Either I needed to be a lot MORE specific about my bodies chemical makeup, or I needed to be a lot LESS specific. GIven who I got this power from, I can only guess which was needed.

So, instead of trying to give the specifics about my human body, I just went with something basic. Being human. I imagined my body in my mind, and wrapped my Will around the image, forcing it into reality.

There was a flash, and it felt like all the little water drops that were me went through a car crash, smashed through the windshield, and all collided at the same point. When the glare from the flash disappeared, I found myself staring straight up at the sun (which I hear is bad for you), fully human again.

Suffice to say, I was relieved.

The Sisters, however, were not.

I heard them both gasp, and the next thing I knew, I was being strung up by the ankle with Celestia’s magic.

I blearily stared at the tow, and said, with slight hesitation,”I don’t suppose we could talk over a nice cup of tea, or something? Being hung like this is a pretty shitty experience.”

Both sisters glared at me.

“Didn’t think so. Ok! Let’s start with introductions. I’m Connor Jason Hents, but my friends call me Change! And you two lovely ladies are…?” I left the question open.

Their gazes transferred from me to each other, a silent conversation passing between the two. Hell, for all I knew they could actually be speaking telepathically to each other. You tend to pick up that sort of thing after millenia of sisterhood.

Celestia suddenly nodded and turned her gaze back to me. “We are Celestia and Luna, co-rulers of Equestria, raisers of the celestial bodies. We demand to know just what you were doing in that stone prison creature. It was not meant for you.”

I looked over at the pedestal. It was a simple thing. White marble with a golden plaque that read simply ‘DISCORD’. I nodded. “ Yeah, definitely not for me. last I checked, my name wasn’t Discord.” I did a quick mental debate on whether to tell them the truth or not. After a seconds hesitation, I decided the half truth would work instead. “Well, you see, Discord was getting old. He was growin’ tired of the whole ‘take over Equestria’ thing, and decided to cash in his chips and retire. But then he thought ‘Say, I need a successor!’ So he went to the nearest place he could find and picked someone. That’s me.”

Both of their glares redoubled. If I wasn’t so fearless and intrepid, I might have been a little frightened by it.

“So, thou has come to spread Chaos and Destruction upon our fair nation?!” Luna all but shouted.

“Chaos is such a harsh word… And destruction? Oh, no, my dear. That would break the rules. The game has only just started. Where would the fun be in ending it now?”

“But you do intend to spread Chaos upon our realm?” Celestia questioned.

I shrugged. It was a little uncomfortable, being upside down and all. “LIke I said, Chaos is a harsh word. I like to think of it more as,” I smiled a little, “Change.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes at me. “Change isn’t always a good thing.”

“But it is inevitable.” I countered. “Look, if you let me down, we can talk about this more in depth, and like civilized people. I think I might pass out from the blood to my head.”

They both looked back at each other, another silent conversation happening. After a moment, Celestia let me down. Well, more like dropped me, but whatever.

“That sound fair, creature.” She said. “But if you try to harm either of us, or any of my little ponies,” her voice became steely,”know that I will put you back in that stone prison we found you in.”

She was taking a gamble saying that. She was just guessing that I had no idea she needed the Elements to turn me to stone, and that even if she had them, she couldn’t use them.

“Got it.” I said, feigning caution. She didn’t need to know that I knew about the Elements. Not yet, anyway.

She trotted over to Luna, never taking her eyes from me, and whispered something in her ear. Luna nodded and shot off toward the castle in the distance. I was going to guess that was Canterlot Castle.

“Shall we go, creature?” She asked, a hint of hostility in her voice.

I picked myself up, and dusted off my cargo pants and hoodie. They both looked different, but I would take closer examinations later. Right now, I had a Sun Princess to worry about. To answer her question, I simply said,”Lead on.”

And so we walked toward the castle.

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Christ, these ponies like gold.

No, seriously, I don’t think you could go five feet without seeing something with gold in it.

Gold trims on the windows, gold filigree in some of the paintings, guards with golden armour, golden vases scattered on gold trimmed end tables. The shit is everywhere in this place. It’s a nice look and all, but their is such a thing as too much. I’m pretty sure whoever designed the castle didn’t realise that.

Celestia and I walked through the halls of Canterlot castle, her hoofs making a clop sound every time they struck, my sneakers making a slight scuffing sound. I would have worried about scuffing up the polished marble floor, but there were maids polishing the thing every hallway. Must take a fucking fortune to maintain this place.
“You said your friends call you Change,” Celestia said, breaking the silence. “What did you mean by that?”

I shrugged. “I meant what I said. Some of my friends call me Change.”

She shook her head. “Allow me to rephrase. WHY did they call you that?”

“Oh.” I said, wittily. “Well, when ever my friends got into any kind of situation, be it an argument, paintball fight, game of tag, whatever, they would always call me into it if they wanted things to get interesting.”

“Interesting how?” She asked.

I shrugged again. “I mostly just came up with idiotic ideas and plans that would change up the entire… Flow, I suppose, of the game. Say my friends were in a fight, and it was generally one sided. They would call me, and I would either level the playing field, throw the fight into our side of the court, of doom us to an utter defeat. I made things interesting. Changed up the monotony of stuff.”

She gave me an interested look. “Seems like you don’t do things in halves.”

I grinned at her. “Not generally, no. I was either a boon or a bane to the team. One way or another, though, I changed it up.”

She gave me a smile I was sure was at least a little forced. “ You must have been a real joy at parties.”

I pretended not to notice the stiffness in her smile. “Oh, like you wouldn’t believe. I could change a rave into a square dancing party. A masquerade into a mosh pit.” I smiled as an idea formed in my mind. “Actually, now that I’m here, I might damn well start a club of my own…”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? Any other Ideas on what to do? Now that you’re here?”

I rolled my eyes at that. “Celestia, I honestly expected more subtly from you.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, her eyes growing a little larger than before.

“Look,” I said, stopping my walk. She stopped too. “If you want to know my intentions about what I want to do here in Equestria, you could have just asked when we got to your sister, instead of making us walk the same ten hallways over and over.”

Her face turned into a neutral mask. “Oh? And why would I do that?”

I shrugged and continued our walk. “Best I could figure, you sent Luna ahead to prepare for our arrival. Make sure your trump card was ready for me. We’re just walking in circles like this to make sure Luna is prepared for us.” No points for guessing what said trump card is.

Celestia caught up to me, her look curious, but guarded. “And just how did you get all this information.”

“I guessed.”

Celestia stopped walking. I didn’t.

She hurried to my side, a look of slight surprise on her face. “How did you guess something like that?”

“Well.” I hedged,”It was an educated guess. Seeing as how I’m an unknown quantity, I would only hope that you be cautious of me. And you being a ruler, I would also hope that you have more resources than most. So, I imagine that, when you learned I was Discord’s successor, you would take steps to prevent me from doing harm to you and your peoples. It only makes sense.”

She looked at me skeptically. “Are you sure you’re Discord’s successor? That is a lot more logic than I would suspect from a being such as yourself.”

Notice how she didn’t say ‘No offence’. I shrugged. “Give it time, and I’ll be as mad as a hatter, if that’s what you want. Don’t see why, but whatever.”

She shook her head. “At any rate, you understand why I took the precautions that I could?”

I nodded. “I get it. I don’t LIKE it. But I get it.”

“Then you will also understand,” she said, “Why I must insist we put you under surveillance. We need to be sure you are no threat to Equestria.”

I sighed and nodded. “I expect nothing less.”

The rest of the walk was straight forward, and in silence.

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We arrived at what I suspected to be the Throne Room doors. I was about to open the door, but Celestia put a hoof out to stop me.

“Inside is one of the most powerful entities on the planet, and our most powerful weapon. If you were to just barge in, It would surely startle them enough to do something rash. I will go ahead, and warn them about you. I imagine Luna didn’t tell them much.

That last bit was more to herself than to me. I nodded and said, “No flashy entrances. Got it.”

Celestia nodded. “Give me thirty seconds to talk to them, then enter. They should be warned by then. If not, I take full responsibility for any harm that comes to you.”

l gave her a toothy smile.

She gave me a smile of her own, though with less pointy teeth, and walked in.

So, no big entrances. That’s boring, if understandable. I mean, I certainly don’t want to be killed on accident. That would be embarrassing as hell. I just had to sit here, and wait for the thirty seconds to pass.

After about five seconds, I got bored. So, I thought of ways to make this situation interesting. That’s what I always do when bored. It works most of the time, though there always seems to be a price to pay for it. Meh.

I thought about what Celestia said. I really shouldn’t startle them. That would be the smart thing to do. The right thing to do. The logical thing to do. But then, I was the new Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. I shouldn’t have to follow logic, if it means I make shit fun.

They say first impressions are lasting impressions. I wonder how long I can make this one last.

I smiled as a plan formulated in my head.

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“-and so I need you all to remain calm for me. I know its strange, but I feel this is the best course of action.” Celestia said, finishing her quick speech.

The Elements of Harmony had gathered into a semicircle around Celestia as she gave her speech. They all had various reactions to the whole thing. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had looks of varying distrust at the prospect of this new creature. Fluttershy had hid behind Rainbow when she heard ‘Successor to Discord’, and Rarity looked a little disgusted at the description of the thing and what it wore. Twilight, ever the scholar, was excited about the opportunity to study this new creature, but was cautious about the power it wielded. Pinkie was excited too. But she was hopping around, saying something about a ‘New Friend’, and ‘Parties’.

Applejack raised her hoof. “Princess,” she asked. “Are ya sure this thing can be trusted? Ya only just met ‘im.”

Celestia would have responded, but was interrupted by the sound of a cymbal being lightly stuck by a drumstick.

And, just as suddenly as the electric guitar, the door exploded, flying off their hinges and off to the sides.

Smoke covered the doorway, but a distinct shape could be seen. The shape of a biped. It slowly walked forward and out of the smoke.

It walked forward, out of the smoke. It could be seen wearing clothes. Pants, shoes, and a jacket with a hood. The shoes it wore were a bright neon orange, laced together with neon red strings. The pants looked tan, but were covered in splotches of different coloured paints. The jacket it wore was checkered patterned, with the colours alternating between yellow and purple.

When the Girls saw its face, they saw a wide grin, and aviator sunglasses to cover up its eyes. Its short , spiky hair was a shade of white. Not pure snow white, but closer to that of an eggshell. Periodically, you could see strands of black in its hair.

Its grin widened when it was them staring at him. Its one hooked tooth that stretched past its lips could be seen quite clearly, and Fluttershy almost fainted.

Finally, its lips moved, as it said, “Howdy.”

Introductions, And What Follows

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Applejack has a really strong kick.

No, I mean really strong. Like, Hulk on his best day strong. I should know.

Because she kicked me right in the testicals.

The sheer force of the pain I felt was beyond anything I had felt before. The pain blocked out every other sense my body had. No sight, sound, taste, or smell. Just feeling. And all I felt was the pain Applejack’s hooves cause to my genetals.

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to get my other senses back, but after they did, I just laid there. That kind of thing really takes it out of a guy.

When I had made my entrance, I had all eyes in the room. Everyones attention was on me, and it was fun at first. Damn shame Applejack reacted in the worst way possible. Her Fight-or-Flight instincts clearly told her that it would be a good idea to kick me. It just so happened that she aimed right where the sun don’t shine.

As I laid on the floor, I heard the others in the room making a commotion. Not that I really cared at the time. I was a little preoccupied, y’know?

Next thing I knew, I was staring at Celestia’s face, instead of the ceiling. Her mouth kept moving, but the words seemed to face when going from my eardrum to my brain. It took me a second to realise she was asking me if I was alright.

“No.” I croaked, my voice a half-whisper. “I just got kicked in the balls. I am not okay. Under any definition of the word.”

She winced. I guess being as old as she, you get to see what a nut-shot can do to a guy. But that brings up the interesting question of how she would know. Meh, something for later, I guess.

My hearing decided to go back onto the job, and I heard Celestia say,”-uly am sorry for that, but I did warn you about startling my little ponies.”

I nodded. There always was a price of doing stuff like that. That was it, apparently.

“So do you accept?” she asked.

I quirked an eyebrow. “Accept what?” My voice sounded a bit more stable this time.

“The apology, of course.”

My eyes widened. “Oh, Hell no! That’s not the type of thing you forgive just in passing! The type of pain that caused was something beyond any mortal comprehension! I can’t just go and forgive her for that!”

Celestia looked at me skeptically. “Is it really that bad?”

I shook my head. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

She whispered, mostly to herself,”You’d be surprised.”

Now it was my turn to be skeptical. “Um, what?”

Celestia backed away from me, and said,”I suppose, when you’re ready, introductions are in order.”

She didn’t answer me…

I stood up (a little more unstable than I would have liked), and took the pain like a man (I only whimpered twice).

“Ok,” I said, my voice a little gruff from the monumental effort. “Lets get this out of the way.”

Celestia nodded. “Well, I suppose it would only make sense to start with your attacker.”

She pushed Applejack forward with her wing. “This is Applejack, the Element of Honesty.”

AJ just stared at me, a sheepish grin on her face.

I walked up to her, a serious look on my face. When I was just in front of her, I thrust my hand forward. She flinched, her eyes closing.

When she opened them again, she saw that I had stuck my hand out to be shaken.

“Well?” I asked, an eyebrow lifted. “Don’t leave a guy hangin.”

She cautiously extended her hoof, as though afraid I was playing a trick on her. That makes sense, see as I’m Equestria’s new embodiment of Chaos.

Her hoof touched my palm, and my fingers closed around it. We shook.

Finally, she said, “Uh, Ah’m a mit sorry fer the trouble Ah caused ya. Didn’t really think about what ah was doin.”

I shrugged. “Don’t worry, you can pay me back later.”

Her eyes widened. “Now, hold yer hors-”

I interrupted her, saying, “Now! Who’s next?”

Celestia nodded at a certain rainbow colored pony. “This is-”

She was interrupted by said rainbow pony flying into my face. “Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria!”

I smiled, and stuck my hand out to her. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you.”

She eyed my hand suspiciously. “Nu-uh, pal. I know what game you’re trying to play! And just so you know, I ain’t buying it!”

Ok, someone is paranoid…

I looked over at Celestia, a questioning look on my face. She just shrugged.\

I turned my attention back to Dash. “Well, I guess you’re gonna miss out on the game of the year. And here I thought you would have loved Forza. Oh well.”

After that, I turned my attention to the marshmallow pony. “And who might you be, my dear?”

S’mores (as I am now going to call Rarity) looked at me distastefully, and said, her voice barely containing said distaste, “Rarity, dear. Um, might I ask where you got such, uh, colorful clothes?”

I looked down at myself. My hoodie, pants, and shoes had all undergone changes, just as Isaac said they would. Personally, I found the new look pretty cool.

“Oh, you know,” I said, after a moment's observation. “Here and there.”

Rarity looked none too comforted by that. “Well, dear, you must let me design something new for you.”

I shrugged and said, “Well S’mores, it really wouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

She looked at me with even more distaste. “Um, pardon, dear, but what did you call me?”

“S’mores.” I promptly responded. “Y’know, ‘cause you look like a marshmallow. I would just call you marshmallow, but that seemed excessive. So I went with something different.”

Rarity turned her face away from me. “Ugh. Never call me that again. S’mores are awful treats.”

The room went dead quiet. Everyone's eyes were on Rarity.

She looked around, confused. “What?”

“What,” I began, my voice dangerously quiet. “Did you just say?”

She looked more confused, and a little frightened. “Uh, S’mores are awful. They are too messy for one to eat properly.”

“Get out.” My voice wasn’t more than a whisper.

“Pardon?”

I pointed toward the hole where the doors had been, and yelled, “GET OUT, YOU UNHOLY BLASPHEMER!”

“What?!” Rarity shouted, looking even more scared.

“GET OUT, AND NEVER RETURN, FOR YOU HAVE COMMITTED THE MOST VILE OF SINS. THOU HAST JUST INSULTED THE FRUIT OF THE GODS THEMSELVES. MAY THEY HAVE MERCY ON YOU, FOR IF I HEAR ANOTHER INSULT OF S’MORES COME FROM YOUR MOUTH, YOU WILL NEED IT!”

At this point, I was breathing heavily. Everyone was staring at the two of us, their mouths open in shock.

“Nah, I’m just kidding!” I said, throwing as much cheer into it as I could. “I would never do that!”

I walked up to Rarity and gave her a hug. While I did, I whisper to her, “I won’t stop calling you S’mores, though.”

Rarity was too shocked to reply. I have that effect on some people.

“SO! Who’s next?”

Everyone was staring at me like I was mad. Which was very possible.

“Uh.” Celestia was just standing there, floundering. “Next is Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter.”

Pinkie was staring at me in shock, though it was probably from the fact that Rarity had dissed on s’mores, and that I had defended them in her stead.

I walked up to her, and waved a hand in front of her face. “Hello? Anyone home?”

Slowly, a grin started to form on her face. That grin morphed into something that touched ear to ear.

One minute I was staring into Pinkie’s eyes, the next, I was on the floor with a huge ball of pink hugging my chest.

Pinkie was speaking, but she was talking so fast that I couldn’t understand a word of what she said.

All I did was look at her. She kept on talking. We stayed like that for a good two minutes before Pinkie ran out of breath and inhaled deeply. When she was about to start again, I put my hand over her mouth.

“Pinkie.”

She looked at me.

“Stop.”

She nodded.

“Now, please get off of me.”

She did.

“Thank you.”

I stood up and brushed myself off. Me and the ground were getting well acquainted, it seems.

I looked up at Pinkie and thought about what just happened. Then I said, “Yes, no, maybe, both, sorta, Laura, Earth, New England, Seventy two percent, 92,000,000, about nine, Hitler, over 200, vanilla, and sure.”

Everyone stared at me. Even Pinkie seemed caught off by that.

I shrugged. “What? It made more sense in my head.”

For the second time, I shocked everyone into silence. Maybe I should make a drinking game out of this…

“Only two left.” I said looking over at the last two. “Who’s up?”

A purple unicorn stepped up. “That would be me.”

“And just who are you?”

She smiled at me. “Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Howdy.” I said, and stuck out my hand.

Instead of shaking it, Twilight grabbed it with her magic, and yanked it in front of her face to make observations.

My face had been reintroduced to the ground. If this keeps up, the ground might start to think I’m getting clingy.

Twilight had been saying any observations she found out loud, magicly writing them on a piece of paper. She had worked her way from my hand all the way to my elbow, and it was starting to get more uncomfortable.

“Uh, hey. Hey, lady. Yo, listen to me! HEY!”

Apparently shouting was the only way to get her attention.

She scowled at me. “What? Can’t you see I’m recording scientific discoveries over here?”

I gave her a ‘seriously?’ kind of look, and said, “Yeah, thats great. You could ask first.”

She blinked at me, then seemed to realise just what she was doing. She blushed, and released my hand. “Oh, sorry.” She said. “I just get kind of excited about new things like you.”

“Uh, yeah.” I said, feeling a little awkward. I don’t really like being treated like a science experiment. “Seriously though, you could have asked. I would have said no anyway, but you could have asked. Kinda common courtesy.

She gave me a guilty look. “Sorry, again.”

I nodded. No reason to hold it against her.

“Alright. Now, I’m not the best at math, but if my calculations are correct, only one more introduction before we get to me.”
Celestia held a hoof out to the cowering pony, who had stayed hidden the entire time. “This is Fluttershy, Element of Kindness.”

I looked at the butter colored pony, and even though she had her eyes closed, she flinched from my gaze. I furrowed my brow at that. “She’s going to do this for a while, isn’t she?”

Everyone in the room nodded. “She has a tendency to get really scared of new things.” Twilight informed me.

I sighed. No use to try and get her to open up. Not the time or place for it.

“Well, now that I know all your names, it’s time you knew mine.”

I spun in place, my arms outstretched. “I am Conner Jason Hents, my friends call me Change. I am the new Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, Discord’s successor.”

All the non-princess ponies were staring at me with wide eyes. Clearly panic was closer to the surface than any would like to admit. Twilight was the first to react, and being who she was, she looked to the princess for guidance. “Princess, what shou-”

I interrupted her by quickly snapping my fingers, and suddenly Twilight’s mouth was zipped closed.

I was a little stunned at that. I stared at my hand, wide eyed. I had just used my power on near instinct. Not sure if that’s good or bad, but it’s certainly something.

I shook my head, getting back on track. “Twilight, and others, I need you to listen to me. I have no intentions of harming any of you. Nor do I have the inclination to try and conquer Equestria. It’s more fun to just do what I want, when I want to, and not have to follow some political schedule.”

Twilight looked at me skeptically. She tried to say something, but she was reminded that her mouth was zipped shut.

I snickered, and imagined Twilight’s face looking like normal. I snapped my fingers, and the zipper was gone.

She cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

I nodded.

“Now.” She gave me the skeptic look again. “How do we know you aren’t lying?”

I shrugged. “How do you know for anyone? Yeah, my new job gives you reason to suspect me of something, but have I done something to warrant extra suspicion? Let my actions speak for me.”

The ponies thought about it for a minute. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, “I think he’s trying to trick us! Discord did the exact same thing!”

I nodded. “True, Discord did trick you. But at what point did he claim to be anything other than what he was? The villan. He never denied to being the bad guy, and never tried to befriend any of you. Just subvert you.”

Rainbow didn’t look convinced. “Discord never used so much logic…”

I shrugged. “I’m not Discord. If the logic bothers you, stop thinking.”

AJ interjected. “Well, he ain’t dun nothin to earn us suspectin ‘im. Not yet. Ah say we trust ‘im, for now.”

Rainbow whirled toward the apple farmer. “Are you taking this things side?!”

Rainbow and AJ started bickering, and Twilight walked to my side. “Are you really sincere about not wanting to hurt us?”

I looked at her. “Would my word really make a difference?”

She shrugged. “I guess not. I just need to know if I can trust you.”

I shook my head. “Don’t trust me. I wouldn’t. All I ask is a chance to prove that I don’t want to hurt any of you. That would be counterproductive.”

She looked up at me. “Counterproductive? How?”

I shook my head again. “Can’t say. Not yet, anyway. Need to know if I can trust you.”

She laughed a little. “Sort of ironic.”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “Ironic.”

Twilight looked at the two bickering ponies. “You know.” She said, after a moment. “I don’t think I’ve seen them this worked up before. That includes the whole ‘iron pony’ competition.” She looked up at me. “How’d you do that?”

I looked at her, then the arguing couple. After a second’s pause, I said,”I dunno. I guess I’m just good at this. She we be worried about them?”

She shook her head. “No. Those two are always at each others throats. Give it a day or two and they’ll get over it. I’m more worried about Dash’s hostility toward you.”

I shrugged. “I’m not. It makes sense, really. She’s just being paranoid, I think.”

Twilight nodded. “Probably.”

“Alright, you two.” Celestia interjected. “You can continue this argument later. Now we need to worry about our guest.”

I looked at her. “Worry? Why?”

She smiled at me. “Well, if you are to stay in Ponyville so the Elements can keep an eye in you, you’ll need a place to stay.”

“Oh.” Yeah, I hadn’t thought about that. I would need a place to stay.

An idea formed in my head, but I pushed it into the back of my mind. I’ll look into that later.

“Well, who is willing to hold a Spirit of Chaos in their household?”

No one raised their hooves. It kinda hurt my feelings.

“Really? No one?”

They all averted their eyes. Man, they act like I might murder them in their sleep.

I looked over at Celestia. “Any ideas?”

She shrugged.

I sighed. “Well, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”

Celestia nodded. “Well, I suppose that is all we need to discuss. Should you need anything, do not hesitate to contact us. We will help how we can.”

I smiled at her. “Aw, thanks. I really appreciate that.”

She gave me an even look. “I was talking to the Elements.”

No one respects me.

I raised my hands in mock surrender. “Ok, alright. I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

Pinkie, who had been babbling the entire time after her introduction, jumped up next to me and threw a hoof around my shoulder in a hug. “Aw! Don’t worry, Connie! You can come with me to help plan out your ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ surprise party!”

I quirked an eyebrow at her. “But if I know about the party, doesn’t that ruin the surprise?”

Pinkie giggled. “Of course not, silly! It just means you know you’re getting one! You still don’t know where or when!”

I thought about it for a second. “Very true.” I allowed.

And so we left for the train to Ponyville. Me and Pinkie talking about my party, Twilight trying (and failing) to covertly take notes on my mannerisms, Applejack and Rainbow Dash bickering about something or other, Fluttershy Hiding be hind Rarity, and Rarity trying to figure out my measurements just by looking at me.

Our merry band of misfits traveled to Ponyville, where the real adventure of fun, comedy, insanity, songs, and friendship would begin.

Doin' It Grand

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The ride to Ponyville wasn’t all that interesting.

Only thing that really happened was Twilight asking me questions about where I’m from. Y’know, culture, geography, literature, who raises the sun and moon.

When she asked that last one, I answered like a good little astrophysicists, and told her no one did. I told her that it was the planet that moved around the sun, not the other way around.

The ponies seemed baffled at that. That’s how we got into the topic of what the sun was.

Apparently, in Equestria, the sun is a giant magical construct that was built forever and a half ago. It normally took a team of twenty unicorns to raise the sun, but Celestia came along, and the rest is history.

When questioned what Earth’s sun was, I happily replied.
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The train arrived at Ponyville around mid-afternoon. The sun was high, the sky was clear and everyone had a smile on their face.

Then I stepped onto the platform.

When I stepped out of the train car, I received a lot of odd looks, most of which were of fear. It blew.
I ignored all the looks however, and walked up to my escorts, who had formed a circle near the exit of the station.

“So ladies,” I said. “Where to first?”

Their whispering stopped, and Twilight answered, “Well, we all have jobs to get to. So we decided that one of us was going to show you around the town, just until you know enough not to get lost.”

I nodded. “And not to make sure I have a babysitter, in case I suddenly sprout demon horns, right?”

She didn’t respond to that. “We all decided that I was to be the one to show you around. I even have part of a schedule made for us!”

The other ponies either groaned or rolled their eyes at the word, ‘schedule’. From what the show had given me, Twilight was pretty OCD about her schedules.

I shrugged. “Sure thing, boss. Lead the way when you’re ready.”

Twilight beamed at me. “Great! We can go now!”

And then Twilight grabbed me with her magic, and dragged me across the platform.

I scowled at her, though she couldn’t see it, since I was being held behind her.

She was going on and on about useless face about Ponyville’s history. I tried to listen, honestly, it just so happened that I got bored of it after the first time she mentioned ‘apples’. Yeah, I know apples are a big part of Ponyville’s history, but that doesn’t mean that I need to know just where every apple tree ever was ever. It’s boring.

I did catch some useful facts, though. I caught the location of SugarCube Corner, Town Hall, the local tree-brary, and some other interesting stuff.

Something that I noticed during the tour (and Twilight’s constant babbling), is that the town didn’t have a club, or a bar, or anything like that. Just some cafes. It struck me as a little odd. I mean, ponies must have some sort of nightlife, right?

From my magical prison, I asked Twilight, “Het, T, does Ponyville have any clubs or anything?”

Twilight stopped her ramblings about how a fruit stand was something or other, and answered. “Not that I know of. Most ponies just stay home at night. The only night parties that we have are the ones that Pinkie throw, and those are usually at SugarCube Corner.”
I frowned at that. Well, that ain’t right. Someone needs to rectify that. And by someone, I mean me.

The tour continued all the way to the town’s park. We had just reached a bridge over a small stream, when a small buzzing noise could be heard. It sounded disturbingly similar to the noise remote helicopters make.

Suddenly, Twilight was spun around, and I was dropped onto the ground. Looking up, dazed, I saw a, orange pony on a scooter shoot past us, pulling a red cart behind them. The cart was full of other ponies, one white, the other yellow. The CMC had made their appearance, and had already caused me physical harm. And I had only seen them for a total of three seconds. Isn’t that a world record, or something?

Twilight had finally stopped spinning, though her eyes kept rolling in their sockets. Pretty funny stuff, honestly.

She shook her head, and seemed to compose herself. Then her face turned into one of anger and frustration. “Ugh! How many times do I have to tell them to stop running into others?! Somepony could get hurt!” And with that, she ran off after them, probably to give them a lecture about public safety.

And she left me alone, in the middle of town.

Great.

Whelp, when ever in a situation like this, I always go to my fallback plan.

Sit around and look cool.

I stood up from where Twilight had dropped me, brushed myself off, and walked to the nearest bench. I sat, readjusted my sunglasses, leaned back, folded my arms, and crossed my ankles. Now, we wait.

I didn’t have to wait long, because the pony next to me said, “‘Sup.”

The speaker had a tomboyish voice. I didn’t look over at them. “‘Sup”

“You new here?” She asked.

“What gave it away?” I responded.

If I were looking I would have seen them shrug. “The whole monkey thing. You don’t exactly look like you’re from here.”

I pointed a finger at myself. “Ape, not monkey.” I dropped the finger, and folded my arms again. “And, yeah, I’m kinda new here. Don’t even got a place to stay.”

“Sucks.” She responded.

I nodded. “Yup.”

There was a moments pause. Then she said, “I’m Vinyl Scratch.”

My eyebrows lifted at that. I looked over at my bench partner, and saw that it was, indeed, Vinyl Scratch. White coat, electric blue hair, cutie mark of some music thing I don’t know the name of. She had all the trade marks. Even her signature sunglasses. And she had a hoof extended to me.

I took the opportunity, and save her a bro-hoof. It was truly an awe inspiring moment.

“Connor Jason Hents, friends call me Change.”

She nodded,”So, Change, what brings you to Ponyville?”

I shrugged. “Oh, you know. Discord decided to retire, so he had me be his replacement. I showed up in Canterlot Castle’s Garden, and Celestia decided that the Elements of Harmony should watch me. Now I’m stuck here, and none of the Elements decided that they would like me in their houses. Kinda stuck on the streets now.”

She looked at me for a moment. Then she said, “So, wait, you’re the new Embodiment of Chaos and Disharmony?”

I nodded. “Yup.”

She thought about it, then said, voice full of excitement, “Huh. Sounds cool. You and me got to hang out some time.”

I smiled. “Sure. We can hang later. Right now, I got to find a place to live.”

She nodded. “Yeah, and I’m gonna help. You got any ideas about a place you wanna live in?”

I thought about it for a moment. Finally, said, “No, but I have a different idea.”

She tilted her head at me. “What?”

I told her.

She grinned at me. “That is an awesome idea. I like Ponyville and all, but the fact It doesn’t have a club is real bad for my business. Makes me travel away from home all the time, y’know?”

I nodded. “You help me out with this, and you get a job at the club. Fuck, help me out enough, I might give you a share of the profits.”

Her grin widened. “Alright, I’m in! But we need a place to set up shop. Got any ideas?”

I shook my head. “You’re the local. You would know better than I would.”

She put a hoof to her chin, and hummed in thought. Then, she smiled. “I think I know just the place…”
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I looked around the space where my club would soon be.

I nodded in approval. “Yeah, this’ll do just fine. Enough space to a lot of people, and close enough to the center of town that it’ll attract attention.”

The lot I was looking at was just on the border of the towns large park. It was on the edge of the park, so it had plenty of room, while still being close enough to the town so it wouldn’t be a huge hassle to get there.

Vinyl showed me her teeth. “Yeah, it’s perfect! All we need to do now i hire some contractors to get the place started, then it should be built in no time.”

I frowned at that. “Damn, your right. It’ll take a while for this place to get built. Shi-”

An idea struck me. I gave it a second to formulate, then said,” Maybe we won’t have to wait…”

Vinyl looked up at me. “Whatcha mean?”

I started to slowly nod, my eyes narrowed. “Yeah, that could work..”

I turned to my pony partner, “Vinyl, I want you to stand back.”

She tilted her head at me. “What? Why?”

“I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.” I responded. “I just want to make sure I don’t accidentally hurt you. Safety and all that.”

She looked uncertain. “Uh, ok?”

“Great!” I said, smiling. “Now stand over there.” I pointed at a spot opposite of the lot. She went over to where I pointed.

She looked at me. “Here?”

I gave her a thumbs up.

I turned back to the lot, and closed my eyes. What I was about to do was probably really dangerous. That being said, it was probably going to be really cool, too.

I took deep breaths, focusing on a point in the middle of my chest. The point where my power was held. I found it, and wrapped the power around the image in my head. With the image and power in place, I opened my eyes, reinforced my will, and snapped my fingers.

What followed could only be described as an EMP. Only an EMP works with electricity, not magic. The wave of power I had released pushed everything it touched backwards, like the blast of an explosion. There was a flash of light so bright, the sun probably had to cover it’s eyes. While my eyes were indisposed, my ears weren’t.

Off in Vinyl’s direction, I could hear a grunt of pain, and someone falling to the ground. I could also hear similar sounds coming from every direction a random pony could be found in. The blast had probably knocked them onto their asses.

The overbearing light finally dissipated, and I blinked my eyes open. Right where an empty lot had been was a building. The exact same building I had imagined in my head.

I started to chuckle weakly. Then it turned into a full throated laugh. “I did it! I actually did it! And I didn’t end up blowing up the continent! Awesome!”

I looked over in Vinyl’s direction, to see her staring at the building in utter shock. Clearly she hadn’t expected that.

I pointed at the building. “You see that!? That is awesome!”

Vinyl’s look of shock was slowly replaced with a wide grin. Then she said, “Dude! That was wicked! How the Hay did you do that!?”

I grinned proudly. “Magic! I ain’t gotta explain shit!”

“True!” she said. Then she hurried in front of the building. “Well, come on! Let’s check the place out!”

I followed, grinning the whole while.

The inside was just as I had imagined it would be.

“Dude!” Vinyl exclaimed. “This place is awesome! How did you come up with this?!”

I shrugged, my grin still plastered on my face. “I just made it up. I thought about it, and used my magic to make it happen.”

“Well, however you did it, it’s awesome in here!”

I agreed.

Vinyl was seated on a couch when she asked, “so What kind of club are you gonna make this?”

I quirked an eyebrow at her. “What do you mean?”

She looked at me, “Well, you got the awesome club, now you just need to know what kind of entertainment you’re going to show here.”

I frowned at that. I would need to decide before I could open the place. After a thoughtful second, I said, “Why does it have to be one type of club?”

Vinyl gave me a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

I waved my hand, to indicate the club itself. “Well, it’s the only club in Ponyville, right? Why only limit club entry to those who like a specific genre? Why not make each night a random genre? One night it could be electronica, the next country, than rock. Know what I mean?”

She thought about it for a second, then said, “Dude, you are a genious.”

I shrugged. “I know.”

“Alright, now that that’s taken care of, we need a staff.”

Yet another thing I hadn’t thought of. Then I had yet another idea. “Well, we can hire some ponies, but until then, we can use a little substitute.”

“Yeah?” Vinyl asked. “And what’s that?”

I smiled and snapped my fingers.

The awesomest fucking hologram ever appeared. Seriously, I love this little guy.

“They won’t be good for things like social interaction, but they would be great for the tech stuff, like the lighting and audio.”

Vinyl shook her head. “Dude, where have you been all my life? Do you have any idea how hard it would have been to find a pony qualified enough to do all that stuff? Not many ponies are into the whole tech thing.”

I grinned at her. “Good, all we need now are bartenders, servers, and cooks.”

She nodded. “Yup. That, and a song collection for when we want to open.”

DAMN IT! I keep forgetting about all this important shit! If Vinyl weren’t here…

I thought about it for a moment, rubbing my hands on my thighs. It never helped me think before, but there’s always a first time for everything.

Because I was rubbing my hands on my pants, I felt the bump of something in my pocket. Curious, I pull out the object, and find that I had my phone with me. Apparently I had brought it with me.

“Hey,” I said, breaking the silence. “We could use this.”

Vinyl looked at my phone skeptically. “We can use that for music?”

I nodded. “Sure can. And lots of it, too.”

She didn’t look entirely convinced. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it.” She shook her head. “Man, you got the answers for everything, don’t you?”

I shrugged. “I’m normally not this lucky.”

She shrugged too. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Now that we got a place to set up, we can start the party tonight, if we want to.”

I arched a brow. “And do we want to?”

She looked insulted. “What kind of question is that? Of course we want to! I got to make some preparations, get my stuff moved in here, but we can be ready by tonight.”

I grinned at her, and stood up. “Alright, you work on that, I’ll spread word around town.”

She grinned back at me. “Sounds like a plan.”

A bro-hoof made it official.
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I stepped out of the club into the late afternoon sunlight. Ponyville wasn’t an overly large place, so word had spread pretty quickly about the building that appeared out of thin air.

That also meant that a certain group of six heard about it.

I walked out of the building to find myself greeted by a disapproving scowl from Twilight.

“And just what,” the banshee screeched, “do you think you are doing?!”

I looked at her, then back to the club. Then I shrugged and said, “Home renovations?”

She didn’t look entirely pleased with that answer. “And just where did you find this…” she paused, inspecting the building. “Thing you call a home?”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “You live in a tree that was converted into a library, and yet I’M the weird one?” Seriously, the place wasn’t so bad that it deserved to be called a ‘thing’. That’s just rude.

She thought about it for a second. Then she shook her head, and said, “That’s not the point! Do you know what you did when you spawned this building?”

I looked back at the club again. “Uh, no.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Of course you didn’t! When you created that building, you had to make the matter out of something.”

I thought about that for a moment. True, you can’t just make something out of nothing. But if that’s the case, then what was my tormentor getting on about?

“Yeah, thee whole law of the conservation of mass. So?”

Twilight looked at me as though she thought me a child. “SO, you can’t just randomly spawn a building out of thin air! It needs to be made of something! The matter you created wasn’t initially matter! It was magic! You drew in the magic around you in the environment, and from all unicorns in the area, and converted that energy into matter! If you had used much more, half of Ponyville would be unconscious from a lack of magic!”

I looked around me. All the unicorns I could see where holding themselves funny, as though they had a constant feeling of lightheadedness. Even Twilight was holding herself wierdly. Shit, I guess I need to be more careful with my magic. I could really hurt someone with it…

The more I looked at the damage to the others I caused, the more I felt like a peice of shit.

I had used that power to create a place of fun times, of good memories. Now, all I ended up doing was make sure people remember this place a the building that nearly knocked everyone out. Christ, I can be a real prick, and not even realise it.

I looked down, embarrassed and more than a little ashamed. “Shit, you guys.” I said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I was just making the building so that Ponyville could have a club to hangout at. I didn’t want this to be a bad thing…”

Some of Twilight’s ire faded. “It’s okay, Connor. You just need to be a bit more careful, that’s all.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to.”

She smiled. “Now, what was this you said about a club?”

That made me perk up. “Oh, I just noticed that Ponyville didn’t have a club for people to go and party at. When I asked you about it earlier, you said most parties were held at SugarCube Corner, and almost exclusively during the day.”

Pinkie popped out of the crowed a few feet away from us. “Yup!” She said, chipper as always. “SugarCube Corner is a great place to go a have a fun time, but I can’t throw parties at ALL hours! Even I have to sleep some time!”

I nodded. “So, when it gets dark out, and ponies still want to party, I made this club here. Can save Pinkie a lot of trouble, and give her, and some others, to have fun at night.”

Pinkie beamed at me. “Thanks Connie! I always feel bad about having to stop the parties, only because it gets dark! The Summer Sun Celebration is one of the only times I get to throw an all night party!” She gasped. “What kind of club is it!? Is it a techno club?! A country club?! A masquerade, fancy pants kind of club?!”

I just nodded and said simply, “Yes.”

Pinkie gasped again, and all but screamed, “IT’S EVERY KIND OF CLUB!?!”

She just had to scream right next to my ear…

I nodded again and said, a little louder so I could hear myself, “Yeah, or as many kinds of music and entertainment as I can think of.”

Twilight decided to add her two cents. “I think that’s a great idea! When is the first party?”

“Tonight, if I can find some people willing to help out.”

Pinkie raised her hoof. And Twilight’s.

Twilight laughed at Pinkie. “Sure, we’d love to help. What would you need us to do?”

I smiled at them. “I mostly need bartenders and servers.Maybe someone to man the coat closet. Oh, and a bouncer.”

Pinkie flailed her hoof around. “I CAN BE THE BOUNCER!”

I shook my head. “Wrong kind of bouncer Pinkie. I need someone to guard the door. Make sure everyone gets in in an orderly fashion, and that no ,uh, undesirables show up.”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah, I think we can find a few people to help you.”

And so we walked off, talking about the party that was sure to go underway before the day ended.
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A heavy thumping sound could be heard at rhythmic intervals throughout the night air. I was walking toward the club, bags full of some drinks in either hand.

I entered the view of the building, and it was blatantly obvious that a party was underway. The music was loud and heavy, the lights flashing through the windows. A line of ponies stood outside the club, awaiting entry.

I skipped the line, seeing as I own the place. I walked up to the bouncer and said, “Hey, man. Just got back from that errands run.”

Big McIntosh nodded and said, “Eeyup.”

Man of few words, is Mac.

He opened up a velvet rope that Rarity had given us, and i walked by him and into the front entrance.

The front of the club was nothing to gawk at. It was mostly just a narrow hallway to your left when you enter, and a booth to your right.

I nodded at the mare working the booth. “Hey S’mores. How are things?”

Rarity smiled at me. “Why, things are going marvelously so far! I do appreciate the fact that you had ME work the coat rack, instead of someone else. No offence to any of our other friends, of course, but they don’t know how to properly handle a jacket.”

I smiled back at her. “No problem. I figured that you would prefer this, over working the floor. That is definitely more Pinkie’s thing.”

She nodded. “Indeed. This isn’t my prefered type of party. But anyway! Would you like me to take your jacket, dear?”

I looked down at my hoodie, which started to give off a neon glow in the dark lighting.

“No thanks, S’mores. I prefer to keep it on.”

She shook her head at me. “You still must let me design you a new jacket. That one looks good on you, but I’m sure I could do better.”

I smiled at her. “No thanks, again. I like this hoodie. It’s been there for me through some tough times, y’know?”

She sighed. “Oh, I suppose.”

With that, I left to go to the club proper, where the music was loudest.

And loudest it was.

From the outside, you could feel the beat in your eardrums, vibrating. Here, at the center of it all, you could feel the beat in your chest. It was so heavy, I could feel it in the bottoms of my feet, where it unconsciously made me wary of tripping over. It was heavy, and it was loud.

It was perfect.

I look in the main room to see it packed with ponies.

Of every shape, size, and color, ponies were strewn about the place, lounging on seats, talking to each other, or dancing to the music.

Among them, two ponies imparticular stood out. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash were zooming left and right, taking ponies orders, and delivering them to them.

When Pinkie noticed me, she skated over to me on the roller skates she insisted on wearing.

“Hey, Connie! You got the stuff?” She half said, half shouted over the music.

I narrowed my eyes, and took a mobster's accent. “Depends. You got da money?”

She giggled at that. “Silly, I can see it right there! I can deliver those to the cooking staff for you.”

I smiled at her. “Thanks, Pinks. Before you go, though, how are things looking on the floor?”

She beamed at me. “It’s going great! Ponies are loving the music Vinyl is playing, they’re eating the food like no tomorrow, and everypony I look at has a smile on their face!”

I grinned back at her. “That’s great! Any problems?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Oh, just Dashie being para-whatsit. She thinks that this is some way for you to get on everyponies good side, then she thinks you’re gonna betray us or something.”

I huffed out a breath. Of course she is…

“She isn’t causing problems is she?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Nope! She just keeps muttering to herself! the worst she did was be a bit snippy with a pony she was taking an order from, but I set her straight!”

I nodded at her. “Thanks, Pinkie. Tell Fluttershy and Twilight that they’re doing a great job with the food.”

Pinkie smiled at me. “Will do!” Then she zoomed off.

I continued my walk to my seat, passing AJ at the bar on the way. I didn’t stop to talk, seeing as she was busy, but we exchanged nods and smiles.

The way to my seat was blocked by the dance floor, and through a door in the room passed it.

I made my way through the dance floor, and into the quieter seating room.

The door was on the left side of the room, and I went through, walking up the flight of stairs that followed.

After a walk down a short hall, I found myself in my personal booth.

My booth overlooked the entire club, as well as housing the door to my personal living area. In my booth was a small throne that I decided that I needed. It was your classic throne. Red velvet cushions, with a gold trim to hold it.

The view from my seat cover the entire club, it being above the DJ’s booth. I got to see all that happened inside my little domain. Conquest might be one of the rules I wasn’t allowed to break, but this was my house.

I felt an odd sensation run through me, and to my left I heard a deep mans voice say, “A very nice place.”

I looked over to see Isaac leaning on the balcony railing.

I smiled at him. “So, decided to show up to my house warming party? I’m honored.”

He chuckled. “I could hardly resist. I thought I would just come and congratulate you on your new home. That, and I have a message for you.”

I tilted my head at him. “What kind of message?”

His smile disappeared. “The business kind.”

I frowned at him. “Must be serious, if you come to deliver it directly.”

He nodded. “A threat is coming to Equestria.”

I gulped. So, this was a message about my first job as Guardian.

He continued. “I don’t know when it will come, and I don’t know in what form. I can only tell it is coming through millennia of experience. I have come to give you a warning. Something is coming, and you need to be ready.”

I nodded, a frightened to say much of anything.

Isaac’s smile returned. “But, come now. This is a time of celebration. I take it you have decided on a name for your new club?”

His sudden change from serious to happy did me a little good. My mood changed with his. “Not yet. Haven’t decided. I’m sure I’ll come up with something eventually.”

He nodded. After a moment of silence (filled with absurdly loud music) he said, “May I ask you a question?”

I smiled at him. “Sure thing.”

He quirked a pure white eyebrow. “Why do this? Why make a club? surely you could have done something else.”

I looked at him, confused. “Well, yeah. But it isn’t enough to just want ponies to be able to party to their hearts content.”

“Of course it is, but it seems to me that you have other motives.”

I smiled as I looked back out at the floor. “Sure. I got more than one reason.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

I showed my teeth. “I wanna go big. I want to leave my mark on Equestria, something other than it’s defender.”

I smiled proudly at the club. “I plan that everything I do, I’m gonna do it grand.”

We stood on the balcony together, watching ponies party as the night continues on.

Things Are Moving...

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Spike was having the best dream ever. Truly, it was made of the stuff of legends! Icecream all around him, of every flavor you could possibly conceive. Vanilla, chocolate, mint, strawberry, rocky road, and even hot chocolate almond fudge sundaes! Truly this dream could not get better.

Oh, but it could, as Spike soon learned. Her voice came to him, velvet smooth. “Oh, Spike. I’m flattered at the proposal, but where would we ever live?”

Spike’s brain seemed to stop. That voice. He knew that voice. That voice was the voice of his dreams, the voice of all his hopes in the world. That was the voice of Rarity. And she mentioned a proposal.

Spike spun on his heels, facing the ponified goddess of beauty. “R-Rarity!” He stuttered. Even in his dreams, he isn’t exactly ‘mister cool’. “What, uh, what do you mean?”

Rarity giggled, and to Spike, it sounded like the tone of fifty silver bells, struck at the perfect note.

“Oh, Spikie.” She said. “If we are to marry, we would need a house to live in. Where would we spend the rest of our lives together?”

Spike’s eyes widened. So he had been right about the proposal thing.

“O-Oh.” He said. He looked around him for any ideas. Suddenly, a thought struck him. Hadn’t he already built a home?

Spike smiled nervously, “W-Well, I have just the place. I kinda already had it built.”

Rarity looked pleasantly surprised. “Well, lead the way then, my knight.”

Spike liked this dream. He liked it a lot.
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The sound of clopping hooves woke Spike from his dream. He awoke with a groan, and a mumbled curse (the kind of curse that’s okay to use around small children). As he slowly opened his eyes, the sound of the hoofsteps became more and more clear. It sounded as though the clopping was coming from the library proper.

Spike wasn’t to pleased at being awoken from the dream he just had. It had all his favorite things! Icecream! And Rarity! All it was missing was a mountain of gems!

Spike grumbled some more, and decided that now would be a good time to investigate what the disturbing noise was. If it awoke him from an Icecream-Rarity dream, it had better be friggin important.

Spike walked down the steps to the library, only to stop half way upon seeing Twilight Sparkle pacing in the middle of the room.

“Twilight?” He said, breaking Twilight out of her little delirious world.

She looked up at him. “Oh, hi, Spike.”

Spike walked down the rest of the stairs, rubbing away the sleep in his eyes. “It’s the middle of the night! Why are you pacing like this?”

Twilight stopped her pacing, and whirled to face the baby drake. “Frankly, I don’t know how you can sleep at a time like this!”

Spike looked at a clock on a nearby wall. “Three A.M.?”

Twilight started to panic. “It’s awful, it’s horrible, it’s tragic!”

Spike just looked confused. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, and passed Spike a calendar. “Here! Now do you see what’s wrong?”

Spike looked at the calendar, and thought about it. After a moment, he quirked an eyebrow, and asked, “We forgot to celebrate Arbor Day?”

Twilight let out a frustrated noise. “No, the problem is I just finished planning my schedule for the month, but I forgot to leave time to plan for next month! Don't you see? There's no time in my schedule to put together another schedule! I could move my meeting with the Ponyville Hay Board to the following Tuesday, but then I have to reschedule my lunch with Pinkie Pie, and you know what a nightmare she is with scheduling. This is an absolute disaster. My whole year could be thrown off!”

Spike sighed and made his way back up to his bed. “ And I woke up from an ice cream dream for this…” He muttered as he went.
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Twilight sat at her desk, furiously writing on her new schedule. At the moment, the sun could be seen outside her window, just breaking the crest of the horizon. Twilight’s eyes were heavy with fatigue, but she carried on.

She stopped her writings and inspected the new line of thought she wrote. After a moment of reading, a smile played on her face. “Oh, my gosh, I think I did it! If I can find a way to read "The Art of Invisibility Spells" and "Thornhoof's Brief History of Canterlot" at the same time, that could leave me a half-hour scheduling window!”

Suddenly, a heavy wind picked up in her library. She turned around to look for the source, but saw no windows open.

Slowly, a ball of purple energy started to appear in the middle of the room. It slowly grew, until it exploded, causing Twilight to yelp in surprise.

Where the ball of energy once resided, was now a pony. Specifically, it was Twilight herself, only vastly different. The new Twilight looked ragged, as though she went through more than one scrap. She wore a dark, torn jumpsuit. Her mane was ragged, and stuck upward, held there by a bandage across her forehead. Over her right eye was an eyepatch, and on her left cheek, a cut could be seen.

The new Twilight ran over to old Twilight, and yelled,”Twilight, you have to listen to me!”

Old Twilight was shocked at the doppelganger in her her library. “Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!”

New Twilight shook her head rapidly. “Twilight, please! I have a very important message for you from the future!”

Present Twilight gasped. “You’re from the future!?”

Future Twilight nodded. “That’s right. Now, liste-”

Present Twilight interrupted her, however. “What happened to you? The future must be awful. Is there some kind of epic pony war in the distant future or something?”

Future Twilight gave Present Twilight a flat stare. “Actually, I’m from next Tuesday morning, but that’s not important right now!”

Present Twilight didn’t give her a chance to speak. “I can’t believe time travel is actually possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?”

Future Twilight rolled her eyes. “They're in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing. Now, you have to listen to–”

Present Twilight interrupted her. Again. “ Is time travel fun, or does it hurt? I have so many questions–”

Future twilight had gotten sick of all the interruptions. She put her hoof on Present Twilight’s mouth, forcing her to stop talking. “ I have something extremely important to tell you about the future, and I only have a few seconds, so you've got to listen! Whatever you do, don't–”

The magic that had brought her here had clearly run out, because she disappeared in a flash of white, ever giving her warning.”

Twilight was alone in the library once more, and she started to look around for the Future Twilight. “Future Twilight? Oh no! What was she trying to warn me about? Her clothes, her mane, that scar... Oh, what a mess she is! ...I mean, I am... or I will be…” she gasped. “She must want me to prevent whatever horrible thing happens in the future!”

Twilight started to pace again. “I need to warn everypony! But I need some help understanding what just happened.”

She looked around her library, trying to find inspiration. “None of the books in the library talk about time, at least not in depth. There has to be something that can help…”

A thought struck her. She started to grin. “Or someone…”
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I jerked awake from my sleeping position on my bed. Something wasn’t right…

I drearily looked around, not really trying to take in any details. I wasn’t, and never will be, a morning person.

It took me a few seconds to realise that someone was ringing on my apartment buzzer. I had the buzzer installed when I created the building. My home and place of business were in the same building, so people would need some way of reaching me in my apartment.

I rolled out of bed and fell onto the floor with as much grace as I could muster. Which is to say, not much. My pajamas were ruffled and must from my sleep, and my eyes were glazed over with weariness.

I reached the buzzer, pressed the intercom button, and grunted.

“Oh.” A voice came from the speaker. “Uh, did I wake you?”

I was too tired to deal with this. I grunted again, pressed the button that unlocks my front door, and made my way to my kitchen. Got get my morning pick-me-up.

A few minutes later, Twilight Sparkle entered through the door. She looked just about as tired as I did, though she was probably better at handling it.

“Hi, Conner.” She said.

I grunted.

She game me a weary smile. “Tired?

My head slammed against the counter I was seated at.

She gave a light chuckle. “Me too.”

She sat across the counter from me. “Ok, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I have a problem. I think that you might be ab-”

Her voice started to zone out as I lost hold on consciousness. I quickly jerked my head up, and went to my cabinet. I found a mug, and got a two liter bottle of coke from the fridge. I went back to my seat and poured myself a cup. Once it was about to overflow, I put the bottle aside, and drank. All of it, in one desperate gulp.

As I finished my drink, I heard Twilight’s voice come back into focus. “-nd you are the only one I can think of who might know.”

She stared at me, wait for a response.

I rubbed my eyes and said, “Sorry, what?”

Twilight blinked. “You mean you weren’t…” She groaned. “Of course not. Look, I have a problem.”

I nodded. “The problem being?”

“I was visited, this morning, by myself from the future.”

That got my attention. “Oh? Reality didn’t collapse onto itself, so I would guess I didn’t cause a paradox.”

Twilight nodded. “Apparently, in the near future, there is going to be some kind of disaster, and I’m going to be really messed up by it.”

I tilted my head, quizzically. “How messed up?”

She described what her future self would look like.

I winced. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound too good.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes! And I need to know all that you can tell me about events like this, so that I can avoid the disaster.”

I sat back, rubbing my chin. “Well, Twilight, I don’t think you can.”

She stared at me, eyes wide. “What!?”

I put my hands up in a mock surrender. “Look, the fact that the future you could come her, talk to her past self, and not cause a paradox is astounding in and of itself. Those kinds of things don’t happen very often. If I had to guess, I’d say that this is a fixed point in time.”

She stared at me, worry and confusion on her face. “What do you mean?”

I sighed. It’s a good thing that I was talking to Isaac about this stuff.

“Okay. There are two things you need to know about time.”

She nodded.

“First, is that it isn’t what you think it is. Contrary to popular belief, Time isn’t like a river.”

She tilted her head at me. “What do you mean?”

“Time is a dimension, like latitude, longitude, and altitude. It is a thing that you can travel through, given the right means.”

She nodded. “Yeah, like I did, or will.”

“Exactly. Though you don’t travel through it in the way you would think. Time is a dimension, not a part of reality. There is no such thing as a portal through Time. If you had the ability, you could walk through it.”

Twilight just looked confused. “I don’t understand.”

I thought for a moment, before getting a piece of paper and a pen to write on. First I drew the corner of a cube, and labeled the bottom two lines ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and the upward facing line ‘Z’. Then I drew a simple, horizontal line half an inch away from the corner, and labeled it ‘T’.

“Ok,” I said after I finished drawing. “This cube corner represents the three dimensions. Latitude, longitude, and altitude. You can travel throughout the every point in those dimensions, so long as you have the means to do so. Time is like that, only you can only go in two directions. Forward, or backward.”

“Why only two directions?” She asked, looking at the paper.

“Because Time is a 2D dimension. There are no other directions in Time for you to go.” She still looked lost. “Say you are at coordinates 4X, 5Y, and 6Z. With X, Y, and Z being open, you can travel in six directions in Space. But take away the X axis, and your limited to four. Take away the Y, and you are only down to two. You’re stuck on 4X and 5Y, but you can freely travel throughout the Z axis. Time is like that. Because it has no other axises to travel through, you’re stuck to the two directions. Forward and Backward.”

Her eyes widened in comprehension. “Oh! I get it. But wait, you said something about a ‘fixed point in time’. What do you mean by that?”

I nodded. “That’s the second thing you need to understand about time. It’s incredibly flexible. Because of what Time is made of, it can fluxuate in rapid proportions.”

“What is Time made of?”

I shrugged. “I talked to an associate of mine, and he tried to explain. Said something about ‘Aether matter’ or something.”

Twilight scrunched up her nose. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

She shook her head. “But, if time is a dimension, why can it do that? Why does it fluxuate?”

“Because there are no other dimensions for time to rely on. It doesn’t have a reference point, other than itself. So, it needs fixed points in Time to be able to be stable. Paradoxes are still a threat, but a fixed point in Time is a reference point. A place to start from if something DOES cause a paradox. When I said reality didn’t fold onto itself, I said that because it actually happens. When a paradox occurs, Time goes back to the last fixed point and rewrites itself. Everything that happens after that fixed point is erased and written over.”

Twilight thought about it for a minute. “But how would you know a paradox would happen, if you went back in time?”

“It’s simple. If the event in Time you edit effects the point in where you went back, then a paradox would occur. Like if you went back and killed your grandfather. IF he died, then how were your parents born, and by proxy, you?”

“Oh! I think I get it!” She thought for a minute. I drank out of the soda bottle. “So, when you said that this was a fixed point in time, you’re saying that no matter what I do, the event will still come to pass?”

I nodded solemnly. “And if the future you was as you described, it won’t be pleasant.”

Twilight looked down. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she ran for the door.

I jumped out of my seat. “Hey!” I shouted. “Where you goin’?!”

She shouted back. “If the event is still going to happen, I need to prepare for it!”

She ran out the door, and into the club, where she made her way out, and into Ponyville.

I shook my head. Damn ponies, and their crazy antics.

I went to go get dressed and go after her.
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I caught up to Twilight when she stopped in the town square. Apparently, she thinks that warning Equestria about a potential disaster involves running into town and raving like a mad man.

I can’t say I disagree.

When I found her, she was standing on a bridge support, wearing one of those weird glasses/nose combos.

The ponies that had gathered around her laughed when they saw her.

She stomped a hoof in frustration. “This is no laughing matter! We have a crisis on our hooves!”

The crowd gasped when she said that.

“I've just been visited by myself from the future!” Twilight explained.

The crowd burst out laughing again, though I saw one pony who didn’t. A brown pony with a hourglass cutie mark was staring at Twilight, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

As soon as I recognised him, he ran off in a seemingly random direction.

Three guesses as to where he went, and the first two don’t count.

Twilight hadn’t noticed him. “This isn't a joke! My future self tried to warn me about a horrible disaster that's going to occur sometime before next Tuesday morning!”

Applejack made her presence in the crowd known. “What kind of disaster?”

Twilight said,”I don’t know! I got sucked back into the future before I could explain!”

Pinkie started to scream. “Run for your life!”

Everyone there just ignored her.

“So?” I asked, walking into the crowd. “What do we do?”

“Indeed.” Rarity said from next to me. “How can we stop a disaster if we don’t know what it is?”

The crowd murmured their agreement.

Twilight nodded firmly. “We'll just have to work together to make sure we're safe. Rainbow Dash, you and the other Pegasi spread out over Equestria, and look for any kind of problem that could lead to a disaster, and I mean anything.”

Rainbow saluted from where she was hovering. “You got it!” Then she flew off.

Twilight looked at the crowd. “Everypony else-”

Pinkie, who was floating around on some balloons, floated in front of the crowd, stopped her screaming, and asked, “Anypony else wanna panic with me? No?” She shrugged, then continued her panicking.

Most of the people I saw just rolled their eyes.

Twilight continued. “Everypony else, time to disaster-proof Equestria!”

I raised my hand. “Yeah, how exactly do we disaster-proof and entire country?”

That stopped her. “Uh, what?”

I let my hand fall to my side, and I shrugged. “I mean, Equestria is kinda a big place, isn’t it? How does the community of one small town in the middle of the country disaster proof the whole nation? Don’t seem possible to me.”

Twilight looked down in thought. “Yeah, I guess.” She sounded kinda disappointed that I ruined her whole ‘leader through terrible disaster’ vibe she had goin.

I chuckled a little. “I mean, all we can really do is warn everywhere else, keep an eye out, and protect what we have here.”

Twilight nodded. “So?”

I rolled my eyes. “So, we disaster proof Ponyville, and warn all the surrounding towns. Make sure that we have eyes in the sky for when shit hits the fan.”

She tilted her head. “I guess…”

I gave her a flat stare. “You wanted to be the organiser of the entire country for a week, didn’t you?”

She rubbed the back of her head with a hoof, and said, “Well, I can’t say it didn’t cross my mind…”

Everyone there just groaned at that.

“Ok, Twilight. How about you deal with Ponyville, and every other town can handle themselves.”

She nodded. “Okay…”

We made it so.
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A couple days later, and Ponyville was as disaster-proof as it was likely to get.

Which doesn’t really say much about Ponyville, given it’s history.

The nearby dam had any cracks filled in. The various bridges in the town had been given support. The water reservoir was filled to capacity, just in case. Everything was ready for a disaster.

Then a disaster came.

I stood with Twilight and Spike, who were checking off a checklist of all the things that needed to happen. It was a really long list, though it was Twilight we were talking about.

“Done, done, and done.” She said checking off the next three boxes in the list.

Applejack came walking up to us, leaves and twigs in her hair.

Twilight turned to her. “Applejack, what about the Everfree Forest?”

AJ nodded. “Perimeter’s clear.”

Twilight smiled. “Great.”

Rainbow came flying down to us. “ And my team gave the all clear from Fillydelphia to Las Pegasus.”

Twilight nodded. “Excellent. Well, we've done everything on the list, but still... Future Twilight looked like she'd been through a horrible ordeal. I just have this nagging feeling we should be looking for something bigger than loose bolts and leaky pipes.”

I shook my head, recognising the opening she left for the universe.

The universe did not disappoint.

There was a loud roar, something akin to the roar of godzilla, for some reason.

I looked at Twilight. “And that,” I said. “Is why you never say things like that. The only thing worse you could have said would be ‘what could possibly go wrong?’” I shook my head. “Way to go, Twilight.”

Pinkie calmly walked into the middle of the street, and said, “Okay, everypony, follow my lead.” Then she started to scream and panic, causing everypony else to follow her example.

Great. That will be a huge help. Thanks, Pinks.

The roar sounded again, and the being who gave it rounded a corner.

I stared, wide eyed. “Is that-”

“Cerberus!” Twilight confirmed. “He's supposed to be guarding the gates of Tartarus, but if he's here, then all of the evil creatures that have been imprisoned there could escape and destroy Equestria!”

“Destroy Equestria?!” Spike gasped.

I let out a curse under my breath. That doesn’t sound good. Though that brought up the question of what he was doing here…

“Yeah, isn't it great?” Did I forget to mention Twilight looked giddy that Cerberus was destroying the town?

Twilight walked forward. “Hey, Cerberus! You look like you could use some obedience training!” Her horn light up, and she took a defensive stance. “Magic obedience training!”

Was she trying for a joke, or just being obvious?

What ever was her intent, she was stopped short when she noticed something. Cerberus roared again, and Fluttershy was scratching his back.

“Who's the cute widdle three-headed dog?” She cooed to the massive dog.

Cerberus, for his part, looked conflicted. On one hand, it looked like he was enjoying the back scratching. On the other, he looked like her really wanted to destroy the town.

That’s when something caught my eye. Specifically, his eyes.

When I looked at them, I saw a certain kind of haze to them. The kind of haze that blocks out though, and forces one to do a certain task. When I looked in the dogs eyes, I saw a cloud of hatred and contempt. A cloud so thick, that it wanted nothing more than to smother the world with itself.

And that was inside Cerberus. The same Cerberus who was meant to guard the gates of Tartarus.

Then it clicked. He was just a distraction for something bigger to get out. Who ever is controlling the dog, did it so they could get out, and are using his attack on Ponyville to do something. But I’ll be damned if I knew what.

A roar from Cerberus drew my thoughts back to reality.

Apparently, the dog had throw Fluttershy off his back and was now charging me and Twilight. Joy.

I took a defensive stance, and said to Twilight, “Shit. Sorry for any damages I cause.”

Then I ran toward the dog.

While I ran, I gathered my Will, and my power into the forefront of my mind. What I was about to do was incredibly stupid.

Just as the dog and I were going to hit, I summoned up the shield spell I had ready. Instead of making it a dome like Twilight did when she did the spell, I formed it into a slanted surface. I tilted the force of the shield backwards, and slide under one of Cerberus’ paws.

When his paw came down, he wasn’t prepared for the sudden change in angling. His paw slide, and he tumbled onto the ground.

While he was down, i quickly went over to one of his heads, and put my hand onto his forehead. With that, I thrust my mind into his, putting in as much power as I felt safe using.

When i was inside his mind, I searched for the presence that I was looking for. That cloud that I saw inside his eyes.

I found the cloud almost instantly. Or, rather, it found me.

When the cloud clashed with my essence, I felt a pain that I had never experienced before. It wasn’t the physical pain, like when AJ imitated a nutcracker on me. It wasn’t that basic.

This kind of pain was the emotional kind. But not like any kind you would have expected. When that cloud hit me, it hit me with its own essence. I could tell what it was feeling, and that feeling was enough to make me cringe in pain. The force of its hate was so heavy, so deep, that I couldn’t begin to understand it, let alone defeat it. It was the kind of hate that one gets when they lose everything they have, in the most violent way possible. Even then, it was bigger. It was the kind of hate that laughed at rules, that mocked limitations. It was the kind of hate that destroyed planets. That destroyed realities.

Then, I understood. Cerberus was under the influence of one of the eldritch abominations that I was tasked with fighting. Or at least a part of it.

The cloud was a being or non-reality. It didn’t exist in this reality, and wants nothing more than to see it destroyed. It was a being of hate, that fed on hate. Like it fed on Cerberus’ hate for the demons that were banished to Tartarus. The cloud fed on that hate, and used it to grow more powerful inside Cerberus’ mind.

If this thing was a being that fed on hate, then maybe I could fend it off with the opposite of hate. Love.

The cloud’s essence was trying to push me out, to force me back into the real world, so that it could continue its rampage. But when it pushed, I pushed back.

For every second of hate that the essence tried forcing onto me, I forced the memories of love I had onto it.

When I say love, I mean it in a broad spectrum, not just the love of another. The memories of love I forced onto the cloud were ones that I held dear to me for all my life. The love I felt when I was with my family on Christmas day. The love I felt when I discovered something truly awesome, and wanted nothing more than to spread it with my friends. The love I felt when with my friends, knowing that they would always be there, no matter what.

Those were the memories I forced onto the cloud, and it cringed in pain, like I did from its hate. It couldn’t take it, not without being with its whole self.

This was a test of wills, to see who could take more punishment, and whose cause motivated them the most.

In the end, the cloud couldn’t take it.

The cloud reeled back, being pushed out of Cerberus’ mind. As it was pushed out, the cloud tried one last time to force me to weaken my hold on it. Suffice to say, it didn’t work.

Just as the cloud was about to be forced out, it cast a thought at me. It said ‘Winter will come, Guardian ‘ And then it was forced out of the dogs brain, back to where it had come from.

My mind slinked back to my body, and I fell to the ground, leaning onto Cerberus. The big dog whimpered, and the head I was leaned on moved to lick me.

I smiled at the big guy, and panted,”Don’t worry. I made it go away.”

Cerberus’ tail wagged in gratitude.
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As it turns out, the disaster Future Twilight tried to warn her past self about, was to not worry about a disaster. Twilight had caused the whole thing to happen on her own, and it took a paper cut on the cheek, a flower pot to smash onto her head, the sun glaring into her eye, and sneaking through Canterlot to learn that.

I told her the week before that it would happen one way or the other.

When Cerberus had gone back to Tartarus, he did so happily and demon free.

I went home after the whole thing, and took a nice long nap. I let Twilight deal with the whole ‘Future Me’ problem on her own. I needed rest.

I sat in my apartment, listening to some music. The song gave me an idea, actually…

My thoughts were interrupted by my buzzer going off. I climbed off the couch, made my way over to it, and said into the speaker,”Welcome to ‘Harmony and Dizchord’. How may I take your order?” I know I said that wrong.

Twilight’s voice came to me through the speaker. “Conner? Can I come up? I’d like to talk to you.”

“Sure thing.” I said, and pressed the button that let the door unlock.

A minute later, Twilight entered my apartment. “Hey, Conner.”

I smiled at her. “You wanted to talk?”

She nodded. “I wanted to talk about the whole ordeal with Cerberus.”

I lost my smile. Even thinking about that cloud's hate hurt. But I suppose this would come up sooner or later.

I nodded and waved a hand at my living room. “Sit.”

She sat on the sofa, and I sat in a chair across from her.

She got to the point. “Conner, what happened with Cerberus?”

I shook my head. “Nothing good, I can tell you that.”

She tilted her head.

I sighed, and rubbed my eyes under my sunglasses. “There was something inside Cerberus’ head. An entity causing him to attack the town.”

“What kind of entity?” she asked.

“The kind that would kill all life on the planet, given the chance. Trust me Twilight, you don’t want to know about this. Not yet, anyway.”

She furrowed her brow. “What? Why?”

“Because this is the kind of stuff that gives you nightmare on sheer principle.” I would know. “These beings aren’t nice, Twilight. They are big, they are strong, and they are numerous. For now, you need to trust me when I say that you would be much happier not knowing.”

She gave me a skeptical look. “Are you sure? You aren’t going to hide anything that I need to know, are you?”

I shook my head. “Promise I won’t. As things are right now, there would be nothing for us to do about it, anyway.” Sure, I know that there is something big out there, but I don’t know where, or when they’re going to move. “For now all we need to do is wait. If this comes up again, and I think you need to know about it, I’ll tell you.”

She didn’t look too pleased about it, but nodded and said, “Okay, Conner.” She then put a smile onto her face. “Oh! I almost forgot! I ran into Pinkie when I was coming here, and she wanted to know when the next party at the club was.”

“I need to talk to Vinyl, but I’m pretty sure it’s tonight. The theme’s going to be Rock and Roll, last I checked.”

Twilight nodded. “Thank you, Conner. I’ll see you tonight, then?”

I nodded, and smiled at her. “Most definitely.”

With that, she left, and I was left alone to think about things.

Things were moving. Powers were making their plays. I need to be prepared for it, otherwise its all of reality that has to pay for my mistakes.

I sat back down, and couldn’t help but feel that I was going to be pushed to my utter limits when things started to go down.

Let’s hope I’m ready for it.

And So The Games Begin

View Online

Green wire there… Copper node here... That connects to that, which goes right there…

I was in my apartment, underneath the metal husk I had been building for the past four days.

The thing was shaped like an egg laying on its side. Half of it was solid steel, hollowed out to fit electronics inside. The upper half was cut into a frame so I could fit small fogged windows into it. At the moment, I was working on the inside, trying to get the wiring right.

“If I connect that right there, that should leave enough room for the…” I trailed off, my voice mumbled.

I heard hoofsteps behind me, and it startled me into knocking my head on the frame.

I muttered a curse, and looked behind me to see Applejack standing a few feet away.

“Oh,” I said, surprised. I hadn’t seen much of AJ since the whole ordeal with Cerberus. “hey AJ. What’s up?”

She smiled at me. “Howdy, Conner.” She looked behind me, at me machine that I was building. “Uh, what is that thang?”

“A side project I’m working on.” I said. “When it’s done, it’ll be really fun to use.” I looked around my apartment, noticing the mess that my equipment made. “If I knew you were coming, I would have cleaned up a little.”

She waved a hoof. “Nah, don’t ya’ll worry none. Don’t bother me. Ah actually came here ta ask ya a question.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah? Whatcha need?”

“Well,” she began. “Once a year, Equestria holds a competition that the entire nation can partake in. Ah came ta ask if ya wanna join in.”

“What kind of competition?” I asked.

She smiled widely at me. “A big ol’ game of Tag!”

I stared at her. “Tag?”

She nodded. “Yup. Tag. The entire country of Equestria is encouraged to play, though not everypony does.”
I stared at her, wide eyed. “That… Is…” I burst out laughing. “Genious! Where do I sign up?”

AJ beamed. “Town center. Ya’ll can sign in there, like everypony else! From what I hear, the games gonna start in Ponyville this year.”

I furrowed my brow. “I can’t imagine that the game will spread all that fast, given it covers the entire country.”

She nodded. “From what Ah hear, it takes a while for the rest of the towns to get in on it. Ah think it takes an extra day or two ta get to them. But it sure as sugar is real fun, when it gets up an’ goin’.”

I had a thoughtful smile on my face when I said,”Yeah… I imagine it is.”

So, we left for the town center, to sign in on the massive game of tag.
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The next day came, the day that the game started.

All the participants (basically everyone in town) were gathered around the stage set up at town hall. The mayor stood in front of the podium at center stage.

“Greetings, and Good day to everypony!” She said into the mic. “Today is the ninth annual Equestria Tag Games!” The crowd cheered. “Today we play a game of tag for everypony to play in! And we, as Ponyville citizens, have the honor of hosting the start of the game!” The crowd cheered even louder. The mayor’s smile widened. “So, without further adieu, I welcome Princess Celestia to the stage!”

The mayor moved aside to let the princess take the stand.

Celestia, as regal as ever, gave her patented motherly smile. “Greetings, citizens of Ponyville.” She said. “I welcome you to the Games, and hope you all have good luck on the field of tag.”

She surveyed the area around the stage. “For those of you who have only signed on this year,” I saw her eyes flick to me at that, “Or those of you who forgot, I shall relay the rules to you all.”

“Rule one,” She began. “This is merely a game of tag, and should be treated as such. Under no circumstances should anyone come to purposeful harm during the games. We are all here to have fun, not have to worry about your safety.

“Rule two: If you are tagged, you are out. I know that this rule is a little obvious, but I’m sure we all remember last year’s incident.” The crowd murmured their agreement. I was left clueless.

“Rule three: you are only allowed to run. No flying and no magic. Those would be considered cheating, and you will be disqualified for using them.

“Those are the three and only rules. Now, we shall discuss the goals of the players. You all will be in one of two teams. The first are the chasers, the second, the runners. The chasers’ goal is to tag all of the runners before the end of this week. Each chaser will be magically given a red bandanna around the neck to identify themselves by. The runners’ goal is to get to the designated ‘finish circle’, where, if one gets there, you will win the game. There will be safe spots for both chasers and runners to go to, to sleep and eat, should the need arise. There is to be no conflict in those areas, or the offender will be disqualified. A royal guard will be there to supervise. The games will end when every runner has been tagged out, all the runners have reached the designated ‘finish circle’, or when the week ends.”

So, run away, get to the finish line, and win. Simple enough. Though simple doesn’t always mean easy.

“To start off the game,” Celestia continued, “we shall pick a single pony to start as a chaser. From there, you all need to run from them, and not get tagged. To attain victory, for the runners, you must make it from here to Canterlot castle. My throne room, to be specific.”

Quite the distance, though there should be those safe zones placed periodically. I would imagine that some might take the train, though that has a certain measure of danger to it.

“Now that we have the ground rules set out, it is time to pick the first chaser.” Celestia gave the podium to the mayor.

The mayor, for her part, had been given a bingo ball machine, presumably with the names of all the contestants on a ball.

The mayor spun the handle on the side of the machine, and a few seconds later, a ball came out of the bottom.

The mayor picked it up and read off the name, “Caramel!”

The pony in question walked up to the stage, and stood next to the mayor. I recognised the guy from some of a few parties at the club. The dude could really party hard, though he didn’t have all that much stamina. At least, as far as I could tell, from observation.

The mayor then went onto some speech that I really didn’t listen to. I was busy looking around at who was here.

The first thing I noticed was a certain prismic mare. Out of all the colors in the crowd, she still stood out. Next to Rainbow Dash, stood Twilight. Twilight looked as though she was nervous, but still looked hyped up for the beginning. Maybe this was her first year competing.

Applejack was standing next to me, so I didn’t need to find her.

I scanned the crowd, but could see neither hide nor hair of Rarity or Fluttershy. Made sense. Didn’t seem like their type of thing, anyway.

Near the front of the stage, I could see Vinyl. Shs stood there with her usual cocky grin on her face. It’ll be fun to see what happens to her by the end of this.

My thoughts were interrupted by the mayor saying,”-nd so we would like to officially start the Equestrian Tag Games! May the best pony win!”

With that, everyone ran in different directions, most of which were running in the direction of Canterlot. Some ran the opposite way, however, and I could only guess that their intent was to see how long they could last.

Me? I wanted to get to the castle as soon as possible. On foot, leaving Ponyville and getting to Canterlot should take about a day, and half of the next to get to the castle. So, I’ll be busy.

With those thoughts in my mind, I ran toward the mountain that held the capital of Equestria. With luck, my trip will be quick, though I didn’t count on it.
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I ran through Ponyville, making sure to check every corner I turned. I had only run into two chasers after the games started, the previous hour.

Ponyville, despite popular belief, is actually pretty big. Or, rather, it seemed that way. There wasn’t the massive amounts of buildings that you would find in a big city, but every home on the outskirts of town had a sizable lawn attached to it, so what was lacking in quantity, made up for it in individual size.

It took me an hour to get to where I was, and I wasn’t even close to getting out of town. That should tell you enough about the size of Ponyville.

I was running (more like jogging) down the street, being careful to check my back every now and then. When I turned into an alleyway, I found something I didn’t expect.

About twenty people were waiting there, all of them talking to each other, but clearly alert of the entrance to the alley. In the crowd, I saw a few familiar faces, such as Ditzy, Caramel, and Bon-Bon. And all of them were wearing a red bandanna around their necks.

I froze in place as they all turned to look at me. Clearly, Caramel had gotten lucky in tagging that many people in the first hour.

They faced me, smirks played across their faces.

“Hey, Conner.” Bon-Bon said. “How are you today?”

When in doubt, go with levity.

I took a casual stance, put my hands in my hoodie pockets, and said,”Oh, you know, pretty good. When for a nice jog just now.”

“Oh?” she asked, not even trying to hide the smugness.

I heard a soft noise behind me, and figured that there were some ponies sneaking behind me.

I went on with the conversation at hand. “Yeah. I was about to do a favorite pastime of mine, too, but you caught me before I could start.”

She tilted her head, and gave me a bemused look. “Really? And what would that be?”

I smiled at her. “Freerunning.”

Once as the word left my mouth, I sprinted toward Bon-Bon.

Clearly, I had caught her off guard, because when I was just about get in front of her, she froze.

When I was about to collide with the cream colored pony, I juked to the left, heading straight for my target.

Just to Bon-Bon’s right (my left) was a conveniently placed stack of crates. The crates were stacked in just a way that I could run up them, then grab onto the ledge of the roof of the building they leaned against. So, that’s what I did.

I bound up the crates, and clambered up onto the rooftop, where I sprinted across to the next roof.

If I had looked behind me, I would have seen the look of surprises on all their faces, then them giving chase on the ground.

They followed me from the ground, and I was running out of roof top.

When I was just about to run right off the edge of the final roof, I stopped, and looked around the ground below me for something that could give me an advantage.

I saw something, and almost squeed out of sheer fanboyism.

Just below me, was a cart full of hay. A cart so perfectly aligned with the roof I stood on, that it would have been criminal to NOT do what I was about to do.

I looked behind me, and saw that the ponies that were giving chase were still behind me, looking up to the roofs periodically, probably looking for me.

That time, I DID squee out of fanboyism, then I said in a wistful voice,”Oh, I really hope this works.”

I took a few steps back, ran, and dived off the edge, straight into the cart full of hay.

Surprisingly enough, it worked. When I hit the bottom of the cart, all I felt was a small thud, and somehow, the hay had been formed around me, completely undisturbed by my jumping into it.

I heard hoofsteps come running nearby. When they stopped I heard a voice say,”Where did he go?” I didn’t recognize the speaker.

“I don’t know.” someone responded. Bon-Bon, if I had to guess. “Maybe he jumped down and ran into an alley.”

“Don’t the others have those covered?” Random Pony asked.

“Yeah. We should go check with them, see if they caught him.”

Hoofsteps were head, running away from my position.

I sat there for a minute, stunned. That shit actually worked? Did they really just do that?

I poked my head out of the hay cart and looked around. I couldn’t see anyone that was chasing me. They must have all left.

HOLY SHIT! THAT ACTUALLY WORKED!

I jumped out of the hay with a huge grin on my face.

As it turns out, Assassin’s Creed tricks for free running actually work, and are effective too.

With renewed vigor, I jogged my way toward the edges of Ponyville, and hopefully, toward the first safe spot.
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After the first encounter with the massive chaser mob, I ran toward the edges of Ponyville. Each time I ran into the mob, they had gotten bigger and bigger. Thankfully, they weren’t focused on most of those times, and when they were, I gave them the slip pretty easily.

When I reached the outskirts of Ponyville, I was being chased by a group of four ponies.

I was just straight up sprinting down the road, not even bothering to try and out maneuver them. Not yet, anyway.

When I was about to reach the borders of Ponyville, I skidded to a stop, and faced my chasers.

They were still running toward me, as I figured. When they got within about twenty five yards of me, I ran toward them.

The looks of surprise they had when I stopped only grew larger when they saw me running toward them. Then, their looks turned to determination.

We ran toward each other, neither side willing to give in.

When we were about to collide, I jumped with as much strength as I could muster.

A pony of about average height only comes up to my chest. When I really put my mind to it, I can easily jump one.

Thankfully my chasers had formed a horizontal line when we started to play chicken. They probably thought that it would stop me from trying to juke my way out of the way. And it would have worked, if I didn’t vault over the guy in front of me.

Placing my hand on top of the pony’s head, I pushed myself over him, and rolled when I hit the ground.

My pursuers had too much speed to stop quickly and turn after me, so I had plenty of time to run up from my roll, and sprint into a nearby alleyway, hopefully before my chasers saw me.

Just like the rest of my day, my luck payed off.

When I got to the alley and took cover behind a corner, my pursuers were only just turning around. When they finally did, I was nowhere to be seen, and they clearly thought that I was a lost cause, after they searched some of the area.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Those guys had been chasing me for the past twenty minutes.

Speaking of time, I looked up at the sun to see how long it had been since I last checked.

A couple hours, from what I could tell. The sun was getting really close to the horizon, so I would guess that it was somewhere between four or five o’clock.

I made my way out if the alley, and back down the street, toward the first safe zone Celestia had mentioned.

I got there about ten minutes later, and found out that the place was a boarding house just outside of Ponyville. A red flag bore the words ‘SAFE’ in big, white letters on the roof. Ponies could be seen around the area, in the lawn and the house itself.

As I made my way to the front door, a pegasus mare walked up to me.

She wore the armour of one of Celestia’s day guard. She had a white coat, and a mane and tail of bright red. On her flank was a symbol of a bright red flash of some kind.

She walked up to me and said,”Neutral ground. No chases or antagonising to cause someone to get disqualified. See someone break these rules, and you tell me. Got it, monkey?”

I frowned at her. She didn’t sound overly friendly. Maybe humour would lighten her mood…

I pointed to myself and said, “I’m an ape.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you are.” She didn’t sound like she cared all that much. “Do you understand the rules of the safe zone, ape?”

I nodded. “You could use my name, you know.”

She rolled her eyes again. I got the feeling she did that a lot. “I don’t know your name.” She held up a hoof to delay my response. “Not to mention, I don’t care. If you understand the rules, then our business is concluded. Go and do whatever it is that you apes do.”

With that she walked off.

I frowned after her. She was kinda a bitch about that whole experience. Honestly, I don’t think I did anything to deserve hostility from her. I had barely said a few words at all, and she still wanted me gone.

“Don’t mind her.” Said a voice to my right.

An old stallion walked up to me. He was a greyish blue, with a pure grey mane and tail. For a cutie mark, he had a quill and parchment.

He walked over to me, looking after the departing mare. “She’s always like this. Not entirely sure why, though.”

I looked at him. “Really?”

He nodded. “She’s always been a grump, ever since I had met her. Its gotten worse as of late. Couldn’t tell you why.” He looked at me. “Oh, but where are my manners.” She stuck a hoof out toward me. “Blue Ink, at your service.”

I shook his hoof. “Connor Jason Hents. Some people call me Change.”

He smiled at me, and it brought out the lines in his face, as though he was used to the expression. “Nice to meet you, boy. But like I said, don’t mind Flare. She’s always been a little grumpy.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Flare?”

“Signal Flare.” He amended. “The mare you just met is named Signal Flare. One of the finest guards in the force. If she wasn’t so mean all the time, she would have made captain before that boy, Shining something.”

“Finest guard, eh?”

He nodded. “Best I’ve seen in years. Ever since she joined, she had a gift for it. Always did her job to the letter, and without much in the way fault. She’s smart, dedicated, and straightforward. She really does her job well. Shame she has to always snap at ponies.”

I shook my head. “What she needs is a friend.”

He nodded agreement. “Indeed. She needs somepony to get her out of that little shell of hers. She’s always snapping at ponies who don’t deserve it, and then reasons that it was their fault. I suppose that someone should try to get her to lighten up, but everypony that tried, ended up with a broken hoof of three. She scares them all off, says that they’ll distract her from her job.”

Huh. Well, guess who I’m going to be bothering for the next while?

I shook my head. “Well, I’m sure she’ll get out of her rut at some point.” I turned to the old man. “Do you know who owns this place?”

He nodded with a smile. “That would be me. I take it that you would like to get a bed for the night?”

“Indeed, I do. Got any to spare?”

“A few. I can show you where.”

We started to walk into the boarding house.

“So,” I said, trying for small talk. “Hear anything about the competition?”

Blue Ink nodded. “All the safe zones get periodic updates on the percent of ponies turned into chasers. Last I checked, and out seventy percent of Ponyville are chasers now.”

My eyes widened. “That many?!”

He nodded. “Last I check, though that was an hour ago. This year went by fast, too. I have been using my home as a safe zone since the beginning of the Tag Games, and that has to be the fastest I’ve seen a town get turned.”

I shook my head. “And to think I have to run from all of them tomorrow…”
Ink smiled. “Aye. Should be fun. But for now, here’s your bed. Rest well, and be sure to get some breakfast in the morning.”

I nodded, laid down on the bed, and went to sleep early.

I had a long day ahead of me tomorrow…
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I woke up the next day at around three in the morning.

I figured that was a good time to wake up, since I had a long walk ahead of me.

I went into the kitchen of the boarding house, to find Signal Flare at the stove, cooking something. Eggs, I think.

I sat at the table and watched her. Outside of her armor, she looked pretty. Her mane and tail had a certain kind of look that claimed she didn’t take much care of her hair, yet didn’t need to. They were rumpled, unkept, and still portrayed a certain kind of appeal. Her coat was a pure white, despite the fact that she must have gotten some dirt on it.

When she moved she moved with perfect assurity, as though she had done this a thousand times before, and could do it in her sleep.

I got the feeling that she did most things like that.

The only thing wrong with the picture in front of me, was her face. Her face was set in a neutral mask, as though she just didn’t care. It ruined the image that the rest of her body was portraying for her.

“Keep staring, ape, and I throw you out the window.” She said in a cold, even voice.

That voice would have probably cowed others into looking away from her out of fear, but I merely tilted my head.

“Why?”

“Because, if I wanted to be stared at, I would actually make an effort to be noticed. You, staring at me, is distracting.”

I snorted. “ I find that hard to believe. You haven’t even looked at me through this entire situation.” Which was true. She just kept cooking her eggs, or whatever they were. “And if you were truly so distracted, you wouldn’t be moving so confidently, now would you?”

I saw her eyes narrow. “What do you want?” She asked, finally looking at me.

I shook my head. “Nothing. I just think that you could be a little more kind to others. All I did was sit here, and watch you work, and you threaten to throw me out of a house that you don't even own. You keep calling me ape, which would be like me constantly calling you horse. You could try using some common courtesy, thats all I’m saying.”

She looked back at her work at the stove. “Courtesy gets in the way of the job. I don’t have time for it. Drop the subject.”

“But you aren’t working right now.” I said, ignoring that last part. “It wouldn’t get in the way of anything.”

Her eyes narrowed again. “Fine. Maybe you just irritate me. Now, drop the subject.”

I ignored the demand again, and asked, “My mere presence irritates you? That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?”

She cast an angry look at me. “No. Now, drop the damn subject!”

I did this time.

I got up from my spot at the table and walked toward the front door.

“Fine.” I said back to her. “But you won’t get much of anywhere in life with an attitude like that, despite what you might think.”

With that, I closed the door behind me, and left for Canterlot castle.

I had a competition to win.

Do It Before You Can Think About It

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Holy shit in a handbasket, that mountain was a long way up.

I was lain out on the floor of the mountain that held Canterlot. I had to take a huge ass hike up to get here, and now that I was, I wanted nothing more than to cough up my lungs, set them on fire, and throw them off the nearest cliff.

“Next time,” I panted, “I build a cable car all the way up here. Save me the time of having to walk.”

Still panting, I got up from my spot on the ground, and made my way toward the city of Canterlot, which was about another quarter mile up slope.

Once I made it to the front gate, and was granted entrance by a guard, I started to jog my way around the city.

It being noon, you would have expected to find all kinds of ponies running around, doing pony things. Today, however, there weren’t any. All the streets were completely empty, save for the random pony that sprinted from one alley to the next.

As I looked around, I couldn’t help but get a feeling of dread. This city was huge. How could there not be some ponies wandering about, despite the tag game? I would imagine that nobles aren’t all too fond of tag, being the stuck up asses that they were.

The rhythm of running hooves caught my attention.

I turned toward the sound, to see a group of ponies charging my position. At the front of their herd, was a small child, probably running from the crowd, if the smile on his face was an indicator.

The kid held his own when running from full grown adults, and he must have been no older that the CMC. When a chaser was about to catch the kid, he would somehow find the strength to get ahead of them, just out of their reach. It was damn impressive.

My thoughts were interrupted when I remembered the fact that they were running right toward me.

I spun on my heels and ran down the street, not caring that I was headed in the opposite direction of the Canterlot Castle, which was my goal.

I ran at a dead sprint down the street, never checking behind me. It’s a psychological thing. realising how close you are to being boned tends to make the fatigue set in harder, for some reason.

As I booked it down the street, I noticed something. The kid that was being chased by the mob was starting to get in front of me.

That in and of itself isn’t odd, given that ponies have more legs than I do. What was odd, though, was the kid’s stance as he ran.

He ran like he was taking a nap. That’s the best way I could explain it. He ran with such blyth confidence, that it looked like he wasn’t even trying. He looked as though he could keep this up, and then some. He didn’t look like someone being chased by a mob. Not in the least.

When he ran past me, he turned his head to me, and said,”Left!”

On instinct, I looked to my left and saw an alleyway that wasn’t either blocked or covered with enough litter to trip me up.

Inside the alley, I saw a perfect opportunity to get up on the roofs. A stack of crates (God, people love conveniently stacking those) that led up to an awning that could lead me to the roof of the building.

I saw my opportunity, and I took it. Turning to my left, I ran down the alley, skipped a few steps to get the footing right, and jumped onto the crates, and launched myself onto the awning. From there, I found a few handholds on the wall, so I grabbed them and clambered my way onto the roof.

From the roof, I could see a lot of the city. I saw a webwork of buildings and alleys, all of them with their own clutter to dissuade someone like me from climbing. The streets housed many ponies, most of which were wearing red bandannas around their necks. The ones without bandannas were either being chased by ponies with them, or were hiding wherever they could.

I could also see a nice route to the castle from my perch on the roof. The fastest, and most direct, way of getting there held the most chasers, for obvious reasons. I could see some alleys that led to different streets, where the chasers weren’t as thick, though it would take me longer to get there. I could also run from roof to roof, but I would have to get off at some point, and that point would most likely lead right into a group of chasers.

I sat on the roof for a minute, thinking of which way I should go. Straight forward and risky, of the beaten path and slow, or rooftops and a crowd…

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of panting coming from my left.

I look over and saw the kid that was being chased by that crowd.

As he lay on the roof, panting, I finally got the time to get a good look at him.

He was small, being a kid and all, and came up to about my thighs (adult ponies came up to about my floating ribs). He had a light grey coat, with a mane and tail of white. On either of his flanks was a symbol of blowing wind.

“Hey,” I said, getting his attention. “thanks for the help back there. If you didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t have noticed that alley.”

He nodded. “No problem, mister. I’ve lived in Canterlot all my life. I know this place like the back of my hoof.”

“That was some impressive running back there, kid.” I commented. “Where’d you learn to run like that?”

He shrugged. “Practice mostly. My special talent is running, but I can do it better than most.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “What IS your talent, then?”

He sat up, and smiled at me. “Breathing.”

I gave him a deadpan look. “Your special talent is breathing.” It wasn’t a question, so much as a statement.

He giggled. “Yup. I’m really good at breathing, and holding my breathe, and stuff like that. I once held my breath underwater for twenty minutes.”

My eyebrows shot up at that. “Damn, kid, that’s impressive.”

He beamed at me. “Thanks!” He squinted his eyes at me, looking me over. “So, what are you supposed to be? Some kind of money?”

I sighed. Why does everyone assume that all primates are monkeys?

“No,” I said. “I’m a human. A subspecies of ape.” I held my hand out to him. “The name’s Conner, your local embodiment of chaos.”

His eyes went wide, and he stammered, “D-Discord?!” He started to backpedal away from me.

I shook my head frantically. “No, no! I’m not Discord! I’m a good guy! I think…”

The kid stopped. He gave me a skeptical look. “So… You don’t want to enslave my mind and force me into a confrontation with the princesses so that they would be distracted so you could slip by and steal/destroy the Elements of Harmony?”

I blinked at him. “That’s… Oddly specific, kid. But no, I have no plans to enslave your mind. Nor do I have any plans to destroy the Elements. Don’t worry, I’m kid friendly.”

I stared at me for a second longer, before saying,”Okay… But if I find out you’re lying to me, I’m gonna be mad!’

I smiled at the kid. “Don’t worry, I’m not lying.” I stuck my hand back out to him. “I’m Conner.”

He put his hoof in my hand and shook, saying, “I’m Deep Breath. My friends call me Deep.”

“Well Deep, I was just trying to find the best way to get to the castle. You’re the local here, so I think you would know the best way to go.”

He nodded. “The fastest way would be to just run down the street. But that gives the problem of running into the crowds walking around. We could go through the alleys, but those don’t give much running room, and they can lead away from the castle in some spots. We could also run on the roofs, but we would have to get off them before we hit the castle. If we were to get off at the closest spot to the castle, we would run into a crowd of chasers for sure.”

He thought about it for a second. Then he looked up at me and asked,”Why not all three?”

I smiled at him.
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And so we planned, the kid and I. We made a plan that involved all three tactics for getting to the castle, the plan being to run on the roofs until we hit a crowd of chasers on the ground. We would then backtrack a little, jump off the roof, and run down the streets. If we hit a crowd in the streets, we would head into the nearest alley, and evade them by either running into a different street, or by going back onto the roofs.

“Are you sure you can keep up?” Deep asked.

We were standing on the edge of the roof where we made our plan. The next roof we needed to jump to was just a simple hop away.

“Don’t worry.” I said back to him. “I can keep up. You might be naturally gifted at breathing and endurance, but I trained myself to do stuff like this. I can keep up.” I looked at him. “The question is, however, can you keep up when I start my freerunning, if it comes to that.”

He scrunched up his nose. “I think I can. I was never the best at this kind of stuff, but I know a little. I’ve been trying to get better at it.”

I smiled at him. “You know, I might have something that can help with that. It’ll take me a while to finish building, but once I do, I think you might profit from it, in that regard.”

He smiled. “Great! But we should get back to the game, right.”

I nodded. “Right.”

So we started running on the roofs.

I gotta hand it to the kid, he sure knew how to run. A few times, I had to catch him from falling of a roof, but when we were running on them? There was no contest.

We ran for about ten minutes before we found the first group of chasers.

I stopped just above them. “Ok, kid, this looks like our stop.”

He stood next to me. “Are you sure that we should just jump down? It doesn’t seem like a good idea…”

I shook my head. “That’s because it isn’t.”

Then I jumped off the roof.

In hindsight, it wasn’t my best idea ever. I was never too good at landings, especially when they involved long falls. I could never seem to get the roll right. One time I even shattered my entire leg trying to land a big fall.

That said, I’d say that this land was about average. It still hurt like a bitch, but I had gotten used to feeling that kind of pain.

The sound of me hitting the ground drew the attention of the chasers. They all faced me, and when they recognised that I didn’t have a bandanna around my neck, they charged me.

I was still recovering from my landing, so I was a little late to turning tail and running.

By the time I did recover, the bulk of the group was right in front of me. And by right in front of me, I mean right in front of me.

I barely had enough time to dive to the left, just avoiding some pony’s hoof.

I rolled out of my dive, facing the rest of the group, who were changing direction to charge me.

I spun on my heels and ran, eyes darting left and right to find an alley to run to.

The nearest alley was about fifty yards away, to my left, and I picked up my pace to get there.

Just as I was about to come up to the alley, a pony charged out from inside it, and came straight for me.

Thinking quickly, I push down on the ground (some would call this maneuver a jump), and vaulted over the pony, being sure not to touch them.

Said pony ran right under me and right at the crowd that was behind me. There was a crashing sound, and a few pony curses.

I shot into the alley, and jumped up behind a cart of hay, trying to catch my breath.

I heard the clopping of hooves, and I tensed up, thinking that it was one of the chasers.

A pony turned the corner of the cart, and Deep leaned against it, next to me.

“I told you that was a bad idea.” He said.

“Did I disagree with you?” I asked raising a frank eyebrow.

He sighed. “Well, where to next?”

I shrugged. “We continue onward. We make our way to the castle, get chased along the way, something exciting happens, then profit!”

He gave a faint chuckle. “Ok, lets go.”

And so we continued on, toward the castle. Every now and then, we would face one or two chasers, but we lost them quick enough.

The real fun started when we got to the castle gates.

“Well, look what we got here, Deep!” I said, a big smile on my face. “The castle gates! And to think you doubted me.”

He shrugged. “Well, when you trip someone, and then run in the opposite direction, leaving them to the chasers, a little distrust is bound to happen.”

I blew out an offended breath. “I said i was going to come back, didn’t I? And wouldn’t you know it, I did! You put too little faith in me, my young friend.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, lets get to th-”

He was interrupted by the sound of hooves striking the ground behind us.

We both turned to see an absolutely fuckmassive group of ponies standing behind us.

When I say fuckmassive, I reall, truly mean fuckmassive. There were easily over a hundred ponies staring at us. Each one of them had a red bandanna around their necks. I recognised a lot of the ponies as ponies I saw around Ponyville. I was curious as to when I would see them again.

Ironically enough, Bon-Bon came swaggering up to the two of us, a smug smile on her face.

“Deja vu, huh Conner?” She asked.

I chuckled nervously. “Eh heh, yeah. I can’t help but feel that I’ve seen this before.”

Bon-Bon gave me a sweet smile, and said,”Well, this time, you won’t be able to just run up a set of crates, or distract and stall me with talk.” She got a determined look on her face, pointed a hoof at me and yelled,”Get him!”

In a situation like this, there are many ways for a person to react. Some would freeze on the spot, too shocked to do much of anything. Others would realise the hopelessness of the situation, and just give up. But me? I have a plan for when a fuckmassive group of ponies are hellbent on catching me.

Run away.

Me, and Monty Python.

I spun on my heels and ran into the castle. I was vaguely aware that Deep was running beside me, panic in his eyes.

We ran through the castle, taking whatever kind of shortcut or chase breaker we could find. Sometimes that was doors into other hallways, others it was a conveniently opened window. What ever the case was, we kept the chase going, despite the massive numbers we had against us.

Deep and I stopped at a tri-intersection, where the hall continued on forward and split off to the left.

I lean my hand against the corner of the wall, trying to catch my breath. We had just barely escaped a chase that had us going at a dead sprint through the halls. How we got out of that, I’ll never know.

“Ok.” I said between pants. “Fuck this castle.”

Deep, who was only breathing slightly heavily nodded his head in agreement.

I pushed myself off the wall and turned to my companion. “If I remember the layout of the castle from when I was here, the throne room should be just down that hall.” I pointed to the hall that turned left.

“Ok, scout it out first.” He responded.

I nodded, and leaned my head over the corner, where I could see what lye in wait down the hall.

Simply put, we were fuck. From what I could see, almost half of the ponies in the original crowd from the gate was standing guard at the throne room doors (they look better than how I left them).

Slowly, I pulled my head back onto the wall, and slide down it. I landed on my ass with a small thump.

Deep tilted his head at me. “What? What was over there?”

I took a deep breath, and said,”About half of the ponies that were at the front gates are babysitting the throne room doors. If I had to guess, this was their plan. To tire us out, then force us to face the bulk of their mob.”

Deep looked a little startled at that. “He leaned his head over the corner, and quickly shot away from it.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think that makes sense.”

I looked up at him. “How are we going to do this?”

He shook his head. “I have no idea. I don’t think we can make it.”

“Welp,” I said, getting up from my spot. “when I’m in situations like this, and don’t know what to do, I always follow a motto that has done me proud since the day I made it.”

He tilted his head at me. “Yeah? What motto?”

I smiled at him. “Do it before you can think about it.”

And then I ran around the corner, and straight at the crowd of chasers.

And people wonder how someone as smart as me is such an idiot.

I ran down that hallway, my sneakers making a squeaking sound each time they hit the marble floor.

The sound drew the attention of everypony in that hallway, and they faced toward me.
In that crowd were some faces i recognised, like Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. Wonder how they got caught. Better question, actually. Where was Pinkie?

That thought was shoved out of my head when I saw the ponies start to charge at me. If I wanted any chance of making it to the throne room, would need to get creative.

Time slowed a little as the adrenaline hit my bloodstream. It gave me plenty of time to think of a way out of the mess I made, if there was one.

I needed a way of getting passed at least fifty ponies, without letting any of their hooves touch me. That would be game over, and I can’t have that.

An idea came to my mind. An idea that i was certain would have been impossible back on Earth. Though, I wasn’t on Earth anymore, now was I?

I smiled as I got closer to the ponies. If this worked, I was going to eat my own hat. Well, I would have to get a hat first, but you get the concept.

As I was about to hit the first pony, I shifted my weight, aimed myself at the wall at a slight angle, and jumped. When I jumped, I used my left foot, the one farthest from the wall. It would make what I was about to do next easier.

When my legs got within inches of the wall, I stuck my right foot out, and planted it on the wall. Once I made contact, I pushed off the wall for all I was worth, and went back into the air.

I started to make my decent, but something was blocking me from hitting the ground. That something was Rainbow Dash, who had gotten to the front of the group.

I planted my foot on the top of her head and pushed off, extending my other foot to prep for the next pony’s head.

That’s how I got to the throne room doors. I jumped from pony to pony, launching off their heads. Clearly, no one was expecting it, because when I got to about my fifth jump, the ponies were just staring at me, wide eyed.

I got to the last pony, and pushed off extra hard. I was thrown off that pony’s head, and straight at the throne room doors. While I was at it, I might as well make a big entrance.

I snap my fingers, and the throne room doors were thrown off their hinges (again), and flung into the throne room itself (again).

I hit the ground, rolled roughly, and made my way into the throne room, where a shocked Celestia sat, gaping at the hole I made (again).

She turned her gaze from the empty door frame to me, the stunned look still on her face.

I smiled sweetly at her. “Come on, Celestia,” I said,” you should have seen this one coming. You know I just can’t resist making a good entrance.” The best part about this entrance? No nut cracking.

Celestia slowly shook her head, blinked a couple of times, then gave a sigh. “I should have. I don’t know how I didn’t, But I should have.”

My smile widened. “So, I got to the safe zone. What do I win?”

She looked up at me. “Who said anything about winning rewards? If anything, you should have to pay me! You destroyed my throne room doors! Again!”

I snorted. “Oh, come on, Celestia. No need to be such a spoilsport. I’m just having fun, and causing chaos, like I should be. Plus, it could be worse.”

She shook her head. “I’m sure it could be, but that is besides the point. Yes, you won the Equestrian Tag Games. No, you don’t get a prize. Though, if I had to guess, I would say you had something in mind for a reward. I can’t just give it to you, but I can exchange it for a favor for you to owe me.”

I put a hand to my heart. “Celestia, I’m insulted that you would assume such a thing about me. Just because I ask for a reward, doesn’t mean that I have an idea about what I want.”

She tilted her head. “Technically true, but you never denied the fact that you do have something in mind.”

I gave her a look that said ‘well, duh’. “Yeah. I mean I thought that was a given. But it still hurt.”

She gave me a flat stare. “What do you want, Connor?”

I gave her a smile. “Well, there’s this guard…”

I Should Learn His Name...

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The train arrived at Canterlot station around noon time.

The Gang (Twilight and her friends (and Spike)) and I were invited to a royal wedding of some kind and were put in charge of the, process, I guess you could say, of making sure it went smoothly and to the happy couples liking.

We sat on the seats in the train car, taking up three seats on either side. I sat next to Spike, because when we met, we instantly became bros. Shit just happens like that.

Everyone was sitting around, discussing what they were looking forward to about the wedding. Fluttershy was put in charge of the choir. She had to use songbirds. Made no sense to me as to why they didn’t just use ponies, but whatever.

Pinkie was put in charge of the reception, and to show her enthusiasm, she jumped on the nearest cake she could find.

Applejack was put in charge of the catering, though I have no idea why. She’s good at farming, not cooking. There are probably others much more qualified to do the job.

Rainbow Dash was tasked with pulling off a sonic rainboom when the bride and groom finish their “I do”’s. She, of course made that adorable face she makes when she sees or hears something, and I quote,”So awesome”.

Rarity was told to make the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids. She then proceeded to pass out onto a conveniently placed couch.

Twilight was put in charge of making sure that everything goes according to plan. No real surprise there.

What was surprising, however, was the secondary note that was given to only me. I read it, and found out that I had a secret job of making sure that this wedding was something that no one would forget for a long time. Basically, I was told to be myself, and go have fun.

When we got the letter from Celestia, she told us what to do, and who was getting married.

Apparently, Twilight had a brother that she didn’t bother to tell anyone about. And that he was getting married to a Princess Mi Amore Candenza. I took italian before I was thrown into Equestria, and I guessed that this princess had something to do with love.

After a very catchy song about Twilight and her BBBFF (Big Brother Best Friend Forever), we made our way to the Ponyville train station, where we got on the train, and headed for Canterlot.

The ride was pretty anti-climactic. Not much happened until we came across the city limits of Canterlot.

No one had commented (or seemed to notice) the big ass shield that surrounded the city. Everyone either ignored it, or was completely oblivious to the fact of its existence. That is, until we were about five feet from it.

“We’re here! We’re here!” Pinkie shouted, jumping out of her seat, and pointing out the window.

Everyone got to a window and looked around. I had to lean over Spike to see through the nearest window.

There were a lot of guards hanging around the station. They all stood at attention, as though they were in the presence of a superior. I never really understood why they do that.

“Whoa,” Rainbow said as she walked out of the train. “what’s with all the guards?”

Everyone followed her out, and Rarity said from next to her,”I'm sure they're just taking the necessary precautions. Royal weddings do bring out the strangest ponies.”

Pinkie sneezed, and blew out a bunch of confetti.

“Hey now, S’mores.” I said indignantly. “That’s a hell of a thing to say to a man. Me and Pinkie take offence to that!”

“Yeah!” Pinkie agreed.

Rarity rolled her eyes, though she was smiling as she did so.

“Now lets get going!” she said. “We have work to do!” Then she walked off in a seemingly random direction.

Applejack bumped Twilights hip. “And you've got a big brother to go congratulate.”

Twilight huffed out a breath through her nose. “Yeah. Congratulate. And then give him a piece of my mind.”

Did I forget to mention that Twilights brother forgot to tell her that he was engaged, let alone marrying? Because he did, and now Twilight is pissed at him.

I looked after the departing Twilight. “Should someone follow her to make sure that she doesn’t do anything rash?”
AJ looked up at me, confused. “Twilight? Do somethin’ rash? That don’t seem likely.”

I snorted. “Are we talking about the same Twilight? Because the Twilight I’m talking about caused the entire town to be magically attracted to a doll, and literally fight one another for it, just so she could have a friendship report to send out to Celestia on time.”

AJ got a worried look on her face. “Well, yeah… But she learned from it, Ah think.”

I nodded. “For that situation, sure, but when family is involved in anything, people become the most illogical. I call it Familial Dementia. People become crazy when family is involved.”

AJ looked after where Twilight had walked off to. “Good point… You probably should go after her.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I probably should.”

Then I ran after the angry purple pony, in hopes I got there before shit started to explode. Because, with Twilight, it happens more than you’d think.
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It took me about five minutes to find Twilight, and when I did, she was already chewing out who I assumed to be her brother.

“-ur sister, for pony's sake!” I heard her say.

The stallion next to her gave her an apologetic look. “It's not my fault! Princess Celestia has requested a major increase in security. Didn't you see all the guards at the train station?”

I walked next to Twilight. “Yeah. Maybe there was a reason for it.” The stallion gave me a sidelong look and asked,”And who are you?”

I smiled at the guy, and stuck my hand out. “I’m Connor. Very nice to meet you. I take it that you are Twilights brother? I would say she’s mentioned you, but I only learned you existed today.”

He blinked at that. He then looked over at Twilight.

“You never mentioned me to any of your friends?”

Twilight’s face flushed with embarrassment. “This isn’t about me! This is about why you never told me in person that you were getting married! I had to find out by a note!”

I looked at the stallion. “Lady has a point, dude. What’s your excuse?”

He sighed. “A threat has been made against Canterlot. We don't know who's responsible for it, but Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection. This, you need to see.”

His horn lit up and we teleported to a bridge that connected two towers together. It gave us a perfect view of the city, and the view to the sky was clear of any obscuring buildings.

Without a word, the stallion walked toward the edge of the bridge, and lit his horn up again. When he released his magic, a bright purple beam shot out of his horn, and toward the bubble that surrounded the city. When the beam hit, it caused a shockwave of energy to cascade down the shield, reinforcing it.

The stallion was left gasping, and rubbing a hoof to his head.

“The burden of keeping Canterlot safe and secure rests squarely on my shoulders. Staying focused on the task at hand has been my top priority.” He said, once he caught his breath.

“Kinda a big responsibility to put on just one guy, don’t you think?” I asked.

He looked up at me. “I’m the captain of the guard. It is my responsibility to ensure the safety of the city and its peoples.”

I gave him a look. “Yeah…” I said slowly. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do a Lone Ranger impersonation. You have a guard force for a reason…”

He rolled his eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
‘Understand what?’ I thought. ‘That you don’t know how to use common sense?’

I kept my mouth shut, however, and that gave Twilight an opening to say, “ Okay, okay, I get it. You've got a really important job protecting all of Canterlot with a force field only you can conjure up.”

I interrupted her. “Wait. Only you know how to make the force field to protect the city?”
He gave me a confused look, and nodded. “Yes. Why do you ask.”

I gave him a flabbergasted look. “What, in the ever loving FUCK, do they teach the rest of the guards?! Are they just meant to stand around and look intimidating?! Because you never hedge your bets on just one soldier! That’s just asking for your ass to get invaded!”

The two ponies stared at me with blank expressions.

I sighed, and rubbed the bridge of my nose. “No, never mind.” I said, defeated by the ponies lack of common sense.

They looked back at each other, and left off where I interrupted.

“But still…” Twilight continued. “how could you not tell me about something as big as your wedding? Am I not that important to you any more?”

The stallion (I really should learn his name some time (I never paid attention anytime Twilight said it earlier)) gave Twilight a compassionate look. “Hey. You're my little sister. Of course you're important to me. But I'd understand if you didn't want to be my best mare now.”
Twilight’s eyes widened at that last bit. “You want me to be your best mare?”

“Well…” He gave a small smile. “Yeah.”

Twilight beamed at him. “I'd be honored! But I'm still pretty ticked you're marrying somepony I don't even know! When did you even meet this ‘Princess Mi Amore Cadenza’?”

The stallion gave Twilight a slowly growing smile. “Twily, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance, your old foalsitter.”

That made Twilight freeze on the spot. “Cadance?” She asked, shocked. “As in the Cadance? As in the greatest foalsitter in all the history of foalsitters?!”

The stallion gave her a smile, and chuckled. “You tell me. She was your foalsitter.”

Twilight looked like she just found out that she was getting a pony for Christma- wait. That saying doesn’t work here… Well, lets just say she was ecstatic.

I furrowed my eyebrows, and looked at Twilight. “Uh,” I said, feeling lost. “Who’s Cadence?”

Twilight whirled to face me, a broad smile on her face. “Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever! She's beautiful, she's caring, she's kind…”

“Yeah…” I said, deadpan. “Sounds swell. But that doesn’t tell me much about her.”

Twilight ignored me, for some ungodly reason. She spun around to face her brother and said. “How many unicorns can just spread love wherever they go? I only know of one! And you're marrying her!” She started to speak in a sing-song voice. “You're marrying Cadance! You're marrying Cadance!”

The sound of overly loud hooves striking the ground behind us interrupted Twilight’s little dance.
We turned around to see a pony that looked more like candy than an equine.

“I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.” She said in a condescending voice. I just met her, and already I don’t like her.

“Cadance!” Twilight yelled. She jumped in front of the now-identified Cadence, and stated to do a little dance. “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” She sang in time to each dance move. It was adorable.

Cadence looked down at Twilight. She gave a small sneer. “What are you doing?”

Twilight smiled at her, apparently not noticing the bad attitude in front of her. “Cadance, it's me, Twilight!”

Cadence’s face became uninterested and bored, and she brushed past Twilight. She walked over to the stallion and hugged him, her bored mask slipping into a wicked grin that only I seemed to notice.

The stallion hugged back, and said to Twilight. “I've gotta get back to my station, but Cadance will be checking in with all of you to see how things are going. I think I speak for both of us when I say we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Right, dear?”

Cadence gave a fake smile and responded, “Absolutely.” She didn’t sound too excited, though I was the only to notice it. Again. Man, these ponies can be dense…

The stallion smiled at Twilight. “ Well, we'll let you get to it.” He said. Then the ‘happy’ couple left.

Twilight frowned. “That was odd… She was a lot meaner that I remember her.” She looked up at me. “What do you think?”

I shrugged. “You knew her when you were a child. A child’s memory can often exaggerate details to fit their fantasies better. I can say this, though. She was not friendly. Not in the least.”

Twilight looked after the departed couple. “Weird…”

We entered a moment of thoughtful silence. Twilight presumably thinking about Cadence and her brother, and I thought about how I would make this wedding something to remember.

“Welp.” I said, breaking the silence. “I got to go. Got some friends in the city that I haven’t seen since the Tag Games.”

Twilight shook her head, smiling slightly. “I still can’t believe that you won.”

I snorted. “And I can’t believe that the prize for winning was a sticker of a golden star, with the captions ‘Good Job!’ written under it.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, I never understood why that was the prize. Seems to me that it is a very short term prize for such effort. I imagine that the sticker is ruined now.”

I gave her a look. “Fuck that. I had that bitch framed.” I smiled. “Anyway, I got some people to see, got a job to do.”

“Ok, Conner,” She said. “I’ll see you later.”

With that, we split ways, heading to do our jobs.

Question is, how do I do mine?

Fuckin' Equestria, Man

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Canterlot, generally speaking, is pretty big.

It’s the kind of place that you can go to to find some form of everything that you might need. Looking for diners? They got it. Need a repair man? That’s in the southern part of the city. Want to go to a club? I can recommend a better one, but there are a few in town.

The capital of Equestria is a place for all to come and feel welcome at. Everyone will find something for their desires, you just need to explore the vast city enough to know where to find it.

That said, I was honestly shocked to find one of the two people I was looking for in the first ten minutes of my search.

Deep Breathe was in the marketplace, talking to one of the vendors that was selling fruit.

I walked up behind him, stood a respectful distance away, and waited for him to turn around.

He did, eventually, and nearly jumped out of his fur when he saw me standing there.

“Hey, Deep.” I said to the kid. “How ya doin’?”

He had his hoof to his heart, as though he was trying to calm it. “Jeez, Connor.” He said after a second’s pause. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

I smiled at him. “C’mon, kid. You made to good a target for me to just pass up.” I gave a fake disapproving look. “Honestly, you really shouldn’t leave openings like that. They’re bound to get exploited. I would know.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ok, mom.” He reached behind him, and grabbed an apple from the basket on his back. He took a bite out of it, and asked, “So, watcha doin’ here?”

We started walking in a seemingly random direction. “I got invited to the royal wedding that’s happening in a few days. I was in the neighborhood, and thought that I would say hi. Y’know, see what’s up.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I heard about that wedding. I hear that the captain of the Royal Guard and a princess are getting married. Though, I don’t know what the shield around the city is for.”

“There was a threat made against Canterlot, though no one I talked to seems to know who made it.” I stopped, and furrowed my eyebrows. “In fact, I’m kind of curious about how they knew about the threat, if they didn’t know who made it. For all they know, it could be a prank that someone made, just to cause a little havoc.”
Deep stopped too, though he didn’t seems as curious as me. “Meh. I’m sure that the Guard have it under control. Equestria isn’t the strongest nation on the planet for nothing, you know.”

I looked at him. “Yeah, but that doesn’t say much. Do you know just how often the entire nation was almost destroyed, just by single individuals? Equestria might be the strongest nation, but all that means is that the others are too busy worrying about all the problems they have. I mean, how often does Equestria get involved in international affairs? When was the last time that Celestia sent the Elements of Harmony to take care of a problem outside Equestrian borders?”

Deep thought about it for a moment. Then, he asked, “What’s your point?”

“My point,” I said, starting back up the walk, “is that Equestrian strength comes from sheer luck. The Elements of Harmony just so happen to reside in this nation. But what if they were somewhere else? Celestia is powerful, sure, but she can’t stop everything. The Elements, however, were literally designed to fight off things that would harm others. Without them here, Equestria would be just as vulnerable as any other nation on the planet. More so, even, given that you ponies are prey animals.”

Deep looked a little disturbed at that thought. After a second he said, “So, what you’re saying, is that Equestria is only as powerful as it is, because we have the Elements of Harmony, and are able to fight off any kind of invading force a lot more easily because of them.”

I nodded. “Take the nation that I came from, The United States of America. We are a nation that is barely 220 years old, but in that time, we had gone from a collection of rebels and colonists, all the way to the world’s largest superpower. We did it through blood, sweat, and tears, but eventually we got there. We didn’t have the Elements of Harmony, and any kind of threat that we faced was met with the force of a dedicated and independent people. It cost us millions of lives, but we got to the same kind of power that Equestria has. I’m not saying that Equestria is weak. What I’m saying is that you rely on your higher powers far more than is practical. If you, as a whole people, got together to face a problem, then not only would you defeat it, but you might also prevent it from happening again in the first place.”

“So, we should get rid of the Elements, because they hold us back?” He asked, dubiously.

I sighed, and said, “No. You just shouldn’t put all your hopes of survival in a single plan. The Elements of Harmony are all well and good, but what if they disappear? What if Celestia were to be defeated in battle, and the Elements captured? Those are your two main modes of defence, and that means that if someone effectively got the drop on you, them you’d be screwed. All I’m getting at is that you shouldn’t rely on just one plan. Set up multiple plans, so that no matter what happens, you have a means of victory.”

Deep thought about that. Finally, he said, “Y’know, that makes sense.” He gave me a skeptical look. “Are you sure that you’re the embodiment of chaos? Because that made way too much sense.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure. You ponies just don’t use common sense all that much.”

He snorted. “Ok, enough of this depressing conversation. Anything else new?”

“Yeah, actually.” I said, thinking. I looked at him. “Do you happen to know any msuicians in town?”
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Later that night, I sat with the whole gang at a late night diner, drinking milkshakes. Mine was vanilla with a lemon twist.

Twilight Sparkle came back with hers, sat down, and started to talk. “Bet I can guess what you're all thinking. Cadance is the absolute worst bride-to-be ever.”

We all looked at her, and Spike, imitating a woman’s voice, said, “Who me?” He was holding that little doll thing that goes on the cake to represent the bride.

Applejack scowled at him. “Spike! That goes on the cake.”

Spike laughed nervously, and hid the doll behind his back.
Rarity continued the conversation at hand. “Twilight, whatever are you talking about? Cadance is an absolute gem!”

Twilight gave Rarity a stern look. “Rarity, she was so demanding!”

“Well, of course she is! Why shouldn't she expect the very best on her wedding day?” S’mores promptly responded.

Twilight turned to AJ. “Applejack, did you know that after she told you how much she just 'love-love-loved' your hors d'eouvres, she threw them in the trash?”

AJ dismissed that with a wave of her hoof. “Aw, she was probably just trying to spare my feelin's.” Sounded like wishful thinking on her part, to me.

Twilight scowled. “No, she was just being fake and totally insincere!”

Fluttershy whispered her two cents. “She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal.”

Twilight pointed a hoof at the butter pony. “See? Rude!”

“But he was singing really off-key.” Fluttershy added as an after thought.

A small bird came fluttering down, and perched itself on Fluttershy’s head. It opened its beak, and made one of the most awful noises that I had ever heard.

“Gah!” I shouted. “Buzz off, bird brain!”

The bird gave me an irritated look, chirped at me, and flew away.

“Your singing is bad, and you should feel bad!” I shouted after the bird.

My friends all stared at me like I had grown a second head.

“What?” I asked.

They just went back with their conversation.

“Nevermind.” Twilight said. She looked at Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, you're with me, right?”

Dash was examining her wings as she stretched them. “Sorry, Twi.” She said. “Been too busy prepping for my sonic rainboom to pay much attention to the bride's bad attitude.”

Twilight started to growl in irritation. She looked at me. “Connor?”

I shrugged. “I’ll be honest, Twi. I don’t really care if the bride is kinda a bitch. I’ve been too busy hanging out with a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in a while. Honestly, don’t you think you’re over reacting? Again?”

Twilight’s growl increased in volume.

Rarity tried to placate her. “The princess is about to get married. I'm sure any negative behavior she might be displaying is simply the result of nerves.”

Twilight slammed her drink onto the table. “And I'm sure it's the result of being an awful pony who doesn't deserve to even know Shining Armor, let alone marry him!”

AJ intervened. “Think maybe you're bein' just a tiny bit possessive of your brother?”

The rest of the group stated their agreement.

“I am not being possessive!” Twilight insisted.

She sounded like she was going to say something else, but I interrupted her.

“Then what are you being? Because it sure seems like possessiveness to me.”

Twilight scowled at me. “I’m trying to look out for my big brother!”

I quirked an eyebrow. “You mean the big brother that you haven’t seen in two years? The one who has surely been subject to many unpleasant things during his time as a guard? People change, Twilight. You might think you are looking out for your brother, but can you honestly say that he is the same person now that he was back then?”

She looked like she wanted to say something back at me, but she paused and thought about it.

“You might think you are looking out for him, but who’s to say that his priorities are the same as they had been? Not to mention the fact that you seemed to idolize Cadence just a day ago. You haven’t seen her in years, true, and she wasn’t what you would call pleasant when we first met up with her, but who’s to say that it isn’t just nerves? You’re incredibly smart, Twilight, but you don’t know everything, and assuming you know best for the people around you, especially when you don’t know the whole story, is just arrogant.”

Twilight looked thoughtful for a second. Then she let out an irritated breath, and stormed off.

I sat back in my seat and sipped at my milkshake.

I noticed all the eyes on me, and I looked around. The entire gang was staring at me. Again.

“What?” I asked.

Rarity shook her head. “Are you positive that you are the embodiment of chaos, darling? Because, and don’t take this the wrong way, that made too much sense.”

“I’ve been getting that a lot, lately. And I always have the same answer.”

Rarity tilted her head. “What is that?”

I smiled faintly. “Ponies just don’t have common sense.”

AJ snorted. “Well, whatever the case is, I think you got through to Twi. She had that look on her face that she gets when she needs to really think about something.”

I shrugged. “What can I say, I live to make change.”

I got up from my seat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go prepare.”

Rainbow looked up at me. “Prepare for what?”

I smiled at her. “I got a little surprise for the happy couple.”

I walked off into the night, going to prepare for the big (or small, depending on how you look at it) surprise that I had planed.
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The next day, we were all asked to go to the wedding ceremony practice. Before we started, however, I ran into a familiar looking guard.

“Signal Flare!” I said, fondly. “Gosh, it’s been a while, huh?”

The guard in question just rolled her eyes and said nothing.

I kept talking. “So, how have you been? I haven’t seen you since the whole Tag Games. Things been good for you?”

She still said nothing.

“Things have been going great for me!” I said, cheerfully. “I get to hang out with my friends every day. I run parties at a club at night. I was even asked to make sure that everyone was, uh, entertained, here at the wedding!”

That got her attention. “What?”

I nodded. “Yup. Celestia asked me to make sure that this wedding isn’t forgotten for a long time! With what I have planned, people will definitely remember it.”

She gave me a less than welcoming look. “What do you plan on doing, ape? Because if you plan on ruining the wedding, so help me, I will-”

I interrupted her. “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t have anything malicious planned out. I just need you to help me out, and find out where the reception is going to be, who will be playin’ at it, and when they’ll be playing.”

She continued to glare at me. “And why would I help you with that?”

I beamed at her. “Because, as of now, you are under my jurisdiction!”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I told Celestia just what I was actually in Equestria for, and told her that I would need help. I also told her of this one guard who was poor at making friends, and needed to learn the magic of friendship. She wholeheartedly agreed with me that said guard would be perfect for the position of my minion! So, she has changed said guards job description, and said guard is now paid to help me!”

Flare stood there for a second, shocked.

Now, that wasn’t the complete truth. Celestia did agree with me that Flare needed to learn the ‘magic of friendship’, and that Ponyville would be the best place for her to. But she didn’t change Flare’s actual job. She just changed where she would be doing it. Ponyville, being so close to the Everfree forest, was in dire need of a guard presence. So, Celestia changed Flare’s post to being the guard of Ponyville, instead of some faceless guard in the castle.

Why did I lie to Flare, and make her think that she was now my minion?

I thought it would be funny. And, oh look! It was!

“So, as my first command, I request that you attain the information of the bands that are scheduled to play at the reception.”

Flare just stood there, still in shock.

I shrugged. “Welp, when you get out of your shock, be sure to do that for me.”

I then walked down the hall, and headed toward the ceremony practice.
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The ceremony practice went well, until Twilight decided that Cadence was evil, and thought that everyone should agree with her.

That was the day before, and everyone was a little tense about what had happened.

For Cadence and Shining Armour (finally learned his name), they were upset that Twilight had claimed the bride to be evil, and were still peeved about it.

The EoH were upset that their friend had said what she said, but were also concerned. Twilight hadn’t been seen since the incident. They might not have like what she had said, but they were still friends.

Celestia was extremely disappointed that Twilight had said it to begin with. I doubt that this would affect their teacher-student relationship, but I imagine that Celestia would have a few choice words for the purple pony.

For me, I was still caught on what Twilight had said.

According to Twilight, Cadence had performed a form of magic on Shining Armour that had caused his eyes to run loose in their sockets. By the way she described it, it sounded like she thought it was mental magic.

I wasn’t really sure what to think about that. If Shining really was under mental compulsion, then he would have never told use. In fact, when questioned about it, he said that the magic was a form of healing magic, to cure the migraines that he was getting.

That’s a perfectly reasonable and logical explanation, but here’s what worries me.

If Shining were under a mental compulsion, he would have been forced to say things like that.

The way Twilight had described the events, it seemed to me that, assuming he was under mental magic, his subconscious was making an attempt at breaking free of the magic that held him. Assuming that he was being mind controlled, that would explain the migraines he was getting.

But that’s a really big assumption. It is entirely possible that none of that is happening, and that the migraines Shining talked about really are from holding up the shield over the city. Frankly, there wasn’t enough info to really know, and the only two that would know would instantly say that there was no mental magics going on.

I shook my head, and continued walking down a hall, toward the throne room.

There were too many unknowns in the whole ‘mental magic’ thought line, and I had other things to worry about. Like what Celestia wanted from me.

Earlier that day, Celestia had sent a guard to deliver a summons, saying that she wanted to see me in the throne room as soon as possible. I think the ASAP part was just a nicety. I’m pretty sure that she wanted me there now.

I made my way to the throne room, and, just like every time I entered before, I blew the doors off their hinges. You should try it some time. It’s fun.

The doors, like they always did, flew off to the side, and I strutted in like I owned the place.

Celestia, from her throne, sighed.

“Are you always going to do that?” She asked, though it sounded like she already knew the answer.

I smiled at her. “I’ll stop only when it stops being fun.”

She sighed again, and put a hoof on the top of her muzzle. I think she was trying to pinch the bridge of her nose, but she didn’t have hands. Or a nose, for that matter, just nasal holes at the end of her snout.

“So,” I said, breaking her out of her self-pitying state. “Whatcha need?”

She regained her composure, though it still looked like something bothered her.

“I need you to deliver this this envelope to Princess Cadence, as soon as possible.”

She levitated an envelope over to me, and I grabbed it.

I gave the princess a skeptical look. “You call me down here to make me play mail man for you?”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.” She said, and it looked like she was trying to hide a smile.

I motioned for her to continue.

“A certain guard came to me yesterday, and was begging me not to, and I quote,’send me away with that ape’.” She quirked an eyebrow at me. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Why, Celestia, I have no idea what you are talking about.” I said, giving her an innocent smile.

She gave me a doubtful look. “Sure… When I asked what she meant, she started to bumble something about her being your ‘minion’.” Celestia sighed. “Why did you do that to her?” She asked that in a tired kind of voice, but I could clearly see the smile she was trying to hide.

I smiled at her. “Well, I mostly did it because I thought it would be fun. But I also did it to actually tell her that she was being repositioned. If I had told her the entire truth, she would probably be jumping for joy. She did get promoted to regional commander, after all.”

“And you left out that detail because…?”

I shrugged. “Because I thought that it would be funny. Really that’s my only motive for doing it at all. I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t see an opportunity to mess with her.”

Celestia shook her head, giving a small smile.

“Well, be sure to make sure that the joke is a little less traumatic for your next victim. Flare had nearly been in tears.”

I blinked at that. I hadn’t realised that Flare had nearly cried because of it. Making a joke is one thing. Forcing someone to tears for your amusement is something else entirely.

“Oh, shit. Looks like I have someone to apologise to.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed you do. But for now, could you deliver that envelope for me?”

I nodded, and waved goodbye to her.
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The walk to Cadence’s room wasn’t a terribly long one, but it did involve a lot of stairs.

Cadence, apparently, likes living in big ass towers, because that’s where I found her. In a big ass tower.

I made it to the final step, panting.

“If I never see another step,” I panted,”it’ll be too soon.”

I tried to shake off my fatigue and reach for the door, but damn, that was a lot of stairs. You’d think, being the parkour and freerunning expert that I am, I’d be a lot better at shaking off this kind of weariness, but I couldn’t for some reason. It just stuck to me, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. It was damn odd.

Anyway, I made my way to the door, and entered without knocking.

“-ow is that I have fooled them all!”

That’s what I walked in on. Cadence spinning around her room, singing to herself about how she fooled everyone.

I froze, trying not to attract attention to myself. I would have slowly walked back and closed the door, but that would alert her to my presence. So, I stood there, as still as I could manage.
“I could care less about the dress
I won’t partake in any cake
Vows, well I’ll be lying when I say

That through any kind of weather
I want us to be together
The truth is I don’t care for him at all!

No I do not love the groom
In my heart there is no room
But I still want him to be all mine!”

Yeah, this bitch is evil. Twilight nailed that on the head.

When she finished that verse, she was looking in a mirror. And in that mirror was a reflection of her. And me.

She froze when she realised that she wasn’t alone in the room, her face the perfect picture of shock.

I gulped, and broke the silence. “You, uh. You’re not Cadence, are you?”

That seemed to break her out of her stupor.

She whirled toward me, and flung a green ray of magic at me.

I tried to dodge it, but I didn’t react fast enough.

I was soon surrounded by a green ring of fire, where a dome of magic slowly spread from the ring, and encompassed my entire being. I had no means of escape.

I started to sink into the ground, and as I did, I caught a glimpse of Cadence.

All I saw before I was sucked into the ground was a flash of green eyes.
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I fell.

That was the simplest way of putting it. I fell.

When I got sucked into the ground, I started to feel as though I was falling. The feeling that most humans get when they realise that there is no more ground underneath them. First a feeling of intense vertigo, then a moment of shocking realisation. And then, if you don’t have a parachute, the feeling of unstoppable fear that makes you realise that ‘oh shit, the ground is getting closer’.

That’s what happened to me. Except that I did it in the complete dark.

After a couple of seconds falling, I hit a barrier of what felt like water.

I passed through it, and then there was enough light around me to show me that I hadn’t pass through water. I went through crystal.

That light also showed me something that I wouldn’t have mind not seeing. The ground.

The ground was getting ever closer, and I could count how long I had to live by the seconds. Frankly, it was one of the most terrifying experiences that I had ever had. To be able to count how long that you have to live. It’s a scary thing. It’s the kind of feeling that criminals on death row must have. Except that their wait is a lot longer than mine.

The ground was approaching, faster and faster. I was just about to hit, when I heard, “-nd a way to save the day”

Singing. The last thing I was going to hear before I died, was a pony singing. Fuckin’ Equestria, man.

Finally, though, gravity completed its job, and I hit.

That being said, I didn’t hit the ground.

I hit a certain purple pony.

Twilight didn’t look so good. She looked haggard, tired, and hungry. But she wasn’t the most interesting person down there.

Cadence looked terrible. She looked like everything Twilight did, and more. She was a tired, beaten, hungry mess. Her hair was sticking out every which way, and she had scrapes and bruises all over her body. If Twilight looked like shit, then Cadence looked like Hell.

As I made these observations, I realised that I was still sitting on top of Twilight. I looked down to see Twilight coughing, and glaring up at me.

“Could you please get off me?” She asked in a strained voice.

I blinked. Then I said, “Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry about that.”

I got off her, and helped her up.

She got up, and dusted herself off. “It’s not like you meant to do it, right?”

I nodded my agreement. I turned to the pink pony in the room, and said,”So, I take it that you’re the real Cadence?”

She looked a little surprised, though not shocked.

“Yes.” She said. “How did you guess?”

I shrugged. “I was just with the imposter. Caught her singing about how she fooled everyone. It wasn’t that bad a song, actually.”

Cadence looked more surprised. “She was singing?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Pretty catchy tune.” I looked at her. “Why?”

“Because so were we.” Twilight said. “We, well Cadence really, were singing about how we needed to get out of here. Until you interrupted us, that is.”

I snorted. “Pff, yeah. That makes sense.”

I decided that now would be as good a time as any to find out where we were. I looked around to see that we were in a cavern of some kind. The walls and ceiling were made out of some kind of crystalline material. The crystals themselves all had a very faint glow to them, ensuring that the area had some kind of light, if not very much of it.

“So, where are we?” I asked.

Twilight answered. “We’re in the crystal caverns underneath Canterlot. These were mines that ponies of old used to dig out crystals infused with magic so they had some sort of power source. Eventually, though, they invented the magic recycler, and the mines became obsolete. They closed them down, and haven’t been used in about 150 years.”

“Huh.” Pretty interesting stuff, but that begs the question…

“How do we get out of here?”

Twilight shook her head. “We just walk and hope we find the exit soon.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Can’t we just teleport out?”

Twilight shook her head. “The stored magic in the crystals block any attempts to teleport out that I’ve tried. We’re stuck here until we find a way out.”

Cadence got a little teary eyed at the ‘we’re stuck here’ part.

Twilight didn’t seem to notice, but I did. And it pissed me off.

This was suppose to be Cadence’s big day. Her perfect day. The day she would remember and cherish for the rest of her life. And some fucking bitch came in and ruined it for her. Said bitch kidnapped Cadence, threw her into an abandoned mine, took her place in the wedding, and placed her husband into a psychic head lock. That bitch wasn’t going to get away with this. Not if I had a say in it.

But we were stuck down here. We had to find a mineshaft out, and that might take hours. The wedding will be over and done with by then. Teleportation is out of the question, because the magic in the crystals blocked the outward magic of a teleport spell from getting to it’s destination.

The only way that we would get there quickly enough is if the wedding came to us.
Wedding came to us…

As the Guardian of Equestria, I have extraordinary powers. Magical capabilities that Celestia herself wouldn’t be able to compete with. I can’t use a lot of them because I haven’t had my power long enough for it to grow into me. I haven’t settled into my power just yet.

But what I could do, was some pretty impressive shit.

I had talked to Isaac a lot over the time I had been in Equestria, and he had given me a lot of information. Some of that info was how the universe of Equestria worked, like time, the physics, things like that.

But a subject that had really gotten my interest was dimensional manipulation.

As a Guardian, I had some sick powers. And dimensional manipulation was one of them.

Cadence and Twilight had gone off and continued their song. I had stayed back a couple feet, trying to figure out just how I was going to do this.

Dimensional manipulation is a tricky subject. It is the act of moving from one point in a dimension to another, by sheer force of Will. You move to a different point because your will says that it should be. That it not only can happen, but that it should, and that it is a normal thing, something completely ordinary.

Using sheer force of Will is a very tricky thing to do. it is also a very powerful thing to do. One of the most well known instances of dimensional manipulation by force of will is attached to the say ‘Let there be light’. He willed it to happen, and so it did.

My Will is no where near that level, but it is very powerful. Much more powerful than it was back on Earth. Back on Earth, I was just your average high school teenager. I wasn’t anything to take note of, in the grand scheme of things. But back then, I was also a mortal.

Now, I was a being of power. A being designed to fend of the worst abominations that non-existence has ever created. And my Will was much stronger now than it had ever been. And it was only going to get stronger.

I was following Twilight and Cadence, but then I stopped and closed my eyes.

I must have stood there for a long time, because Twilight walked up to me, and asked, “Connor, are you ok?”

I would have answered her, but I was too busy trying to manipulate the fabric of reality. I was calling forth my Will, and preparing it in one of the most taxing spells I had ever cast at the time.

My Will was ready, and I brought it forth. I lifted my hand, and snapped my fingers.

The tone my fingers made was piercing, clear, and louder than a gunshot. It was the kind of sound that you feel more than hear, but it hit such a perfect note that I couldn’t possibly have come from a human hand.

A shock wave could be seen, and a bright flash of light blinded all of us.
When I could see again, I found that we were in a hallway in the castle.

I also found that I was tired as fuck. I mean, shit, that took it out of me.

Twilight and Cadence were sprawled across the floor, their legs splayed in random directions.

Twilight was the first to recover. She got up, shook and rubbed her head, then looked over at me with unfocused eyes.

“Wh-What?” she stuttered. “How did you do that?”

I tried to shake off the weariness that I felt, but it stuck to me. I couldn’t seem to catch my breath, just like when I finished climbing the stairs, except much worse. I felt as though I would pass out.

It’s not that the fatigue wouldn’t go away, it’s just that it’s taking a Hell of a lot longer than it should. It’s something that I’ll have to look into later.

“Oh, you know.” I gasped in answer to Twilight’s question. “This, that, and the other thing.”

Twilight looked at me in shock, her eyes still unfocused.

I staggered over to Cadence, and tried to rouse her from her little nap.

“C’mon, Cadence, don’t want to be late for you wedding, do you?”

She started to get up, albeit a bit shakily.

“W-What happened?” she asked.

“I got us out.” I responded.

She shook her head and looked around. “What? How did we-” Her eyes went wide. “The wedding!” She shouted. “We need to go! Now!” With that, she sprinted off in the direction of the ceremony.

Twilight and I shared a look, and ran after her.
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Twilight and I caught up to Cadence easily enough. Or, rather, easily for Twilight. I was still shaking off the effort of manipulating reality. That can kinda take it out of a guy.

We reached the doors of the hall where the wedding was taking place. I was in the lead, but I couldn’t have made a flashy entrance if I tried. Too tired of it. I still tried though.

When I reached the door, I grabbed the handle, shouldered open the door, and shouted, “HOLD IT!”

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at us. Well, they stared at me. Twilight and Cadence were still in the hall.

Celestia, who was in between the marrying couple, blinked at me. “Oh, Connor. There you are. Where did you run off to?”

“I didn’t run off anywhere!” I pointed at the fake Cadence. “She teleported me out of her room, because…!”

I opened the other door, for Twilight to enter in.

She did, and pointed a hoof at the Fake Cadence, shouting, “She’s evil!”

Everyone gasped.

Fakence (yeah, not very good, but I’d like to see you do better) grumbled,”Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?” Then she seemed to notice others were watching her, and she started to cry crocodile tears. “Why does she have to ruin my special day?”

The real Cadence entered behind Twilight. “Because it's not your special day! It's mine!”

Everyone gasped again, ever louder this time.

Fakence looked surprised. “What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?”

I gave her a confused look. “What bridesmaids? We just teleported out.”

Her eyes got even wider. “What?! You aren’t supposed to be able to do that!”

I smiled at her. “Yeah, but I never really liked rules much.”

She sneered at me. “Clever. But you're still too late.”

Applejack looked confused. “I-I don't understand. How can there be two of 'em?”

Cadence stepped forward. “ She's a changeling. She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them.”

Fakence took that as her cue to explode into a column of green flame. What was once pink fur was disintegrated away, leaving black chitten.

The fire died away, leaving the form of the changeling before us.

The changeling giggled. “Right you are, Princess. And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!”

“They'll never get the chance!” Cadence responded. “Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!”

The changeling giggled again. “Oh, I doubt that. Isn't that right, dear?”

Shining Armour, who was staring off into the middle distance, nodded his head in agreement.

Cadence noticed that something was wrong with him, and tried to go over.

The changeling stopped her. “Ah, ah, ah. Don't want to go back to the caves, now do you? Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now, my minions are chipping away at it.”

I looked out a nearby window and saw that there was a cloud of black forms surrounding the shield. Shit, that’s a lot of minions.

“He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now.” Is that what happens when you get married?
Everyone gasped when they saw the changelings around the shield, and when they heard that Shining was under her control.

The changeling continued. “And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the Royal Guard. Soon, my changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot. And then, all of Equestria!”

Celestia stepped up, looking serious and intimidating. “No. You won't. You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!” And then, she shot a beam of magic at the changeling.

The changeling was taken by surprise, and just barely got a beam of magic of her own to counteract Celestia’s. She grunted with effort, and suddenly, the Changeling’s beam shit forward, hitting Celestia and causing an explosion.

As the smoke of the explosion cleared, everyone could see Celestia’s form sliding across the floor.

Twilight shouted, “Princess Celestia!” and ran over to her.

The changeling looked just as shocked as everyone else, but only for a minute. Then the shock dissolved into a look of smug victory, as she said,”Ah! Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought! Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!”

I saw Celestia whisper something to Twilight, but I couldn’t make it out.

Twilight ran back over to her friends, and said, “We need to get the Elements! Come on girls!” With that, they ran off to get the Elements.

The changeling chuckled. “You can run, but you can't hide!”

She started to make her way toward the girls, but I got in her way.

“Not so fast. You still got to deal with me.” I said to her.

She sneered at me. “Oh, and what could you possibly do to me, ape? Not even Celestia could harm me!”

I gave her a vicious smile. “Yeah, but I’m not Celestia.”

She scoffed. “If you truly want to make this foolish attempt, be my guest. You will be one of the many that will fall to me this day.”

My smile didn’t fade. “Before we start, may I get your name?”

I quirked an eyebrow at me. “Any why would I give you my name?”

My smile gave way to a heavy scowl. I growled, “So I know what to put on your tombstone.”

She blinked in surprise, then got a scowl of her own. “Foolish ape! Do you truly think that you are a match for me!? Queen Chrysalis?! Queen of the changelings and conqueror of Equestria!?”

My smile found it’s way back onto my face. “That last one is still up for debate.”

Chrysalis growled, and threw a bolt of magic at me.

I ran forward, and met the bolt with a magic shield of my own, blocking it.

I ran up to the queen, and reared my arm back, prepared to punch her in the face.

Her eyes went wide, and she tried to back away from me, but was blocked by the wall behind her.

My fist came down, and met her face. The impact caused the carapace on her face to chip, and it threw her to the side.

She rolled with the blow, and got back to her hooves. She bent her head down, and charged me, her horn prepared to impale me.

I sidestepped to the left, and bought my fist to the back of her skull.

She lost her balance, and fell on her face. She laid there, unmoving.

It was too easy. There was no way that she would go down in just two punches. I got some upper body strength, due to parkour and some blacksmithing skills that I had, but I wasn’t that strong. Either way, I had to make sure she stayed down for good.

So, I slowly walked up to her, my body tense, ready to jump out of the way at a moments notice.

When I got close to her, she whirled around, her horn glowing. I tried to jump out of the way, but she threw a lance of magical force at me, and it struck hard.

I was flung down the aisle, and landed hard. I tried to turn my stumble into a roll to my feet, but all I got was being able to get on one knee.

I was facing the opposite way of her, so I couldn’t see her when she started to gloat.

“Did you truly think that you could best me? A mear primitive ape, trying to duel the queen of the changelings? You lost this battle the moment you-” I lost focus on what she was saying.

‘Primitive ape’...?

Does she know just who, better yet, WHAT she just said that to? Does she understand that she just made one of the greatest insults that I can really think off, in terms of a species insult?

Humans are a great many things, but if there is one thing we are not, it’s primitive.

And I think it’s time Chrysalis got an object lesson in this.

Her rant was interrupted when I spun around and shot her with the minigun I had spawned.

Yeah, a minigun.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. ‘A MINIGUN?! THAT’S THE KIND OF THING THAT KILLS PEOPLE! AND THAT’S ONE OF THE RULES! NO KILLING!’

Well, I got two words for that: practice rounds.

I shot Chrysalis with rubber practice round at a rate of 6,000 rounds per minute.

And practice rounds hurt.

Chrysalis was slowly pushed back, as each round struck her.

Wherever the rounds struck, you could see the cracks in her chitten. Some pieces flaked off, and flew in random directions. Her nose was bleeding, there were plenty of spots where massive bruises would form, and a few spots where a round grazed her, and caused her to bleed.

Chrysalis hit the back wall, but I didn’t let up. I kept pumping her with rounds, cackling like a mad man the entire time.

I finally clicked empty, and I threw the minigun to the side.

I made my way up to Chrysalis, as she slumped to the floor. I knelt down in front of her, and whispered, “I’m sorry, but did you say primitive?”

With that, I grabbed her horn, and slammed her he-

I paused.

Something was going on in my head. I lost my train of thought, and couldn’t seem to find it. I remembered that I had to do something important, but i couldn’t remember what it was. I’m pretty sure that it had something to do with the pony who’s horn I grabbed.

I looked at the horn in my hand. It was glowing a faint green glow.

Then it hit me. Chrysalis was in my head! She forced me to stop whatever it was I was doing!

I tried to let go of the horn, but that seemed like an impossible task. The fatigue that I had felt all day had come surging back. It seemed stronger, somehow. As though that contact with Chrysalis’ horn had amplified it.

Honestly, that doesn’t surprise me.

I would have done something about it, but the weariness that I felt was too great. My world started to go black.

The last thing I saw was a flash of green eyes…
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Waking up from what I had gone through was probably one of the most exhausting things I had ever done.

You know that feeling that you get when you wake up from a deep sleep, and just can’t seem to get your body parts to move? Yeah, that’s what it felt like, except times a million.

I was laying in a bed, that much I knew. I could feel the mattress underneath me, and how my legs fell off the end. Without opening my eyes, i could tell that there was a light right above me.

As my senses came back to me, I took in the smell of the area around me. It smelt like disinfectant. So, I was probably in a hospital.

My hearing came back next, and I could hear the slow beep of a heart rate monitor. I must have been in really bad shape if they thought I needed one.

Finally, I tried for my sight.

It wasn’t easy. The most difficult part about waking up is opening your eyes.

Eventually, though, I got them to open. I was definitely right about the hospital thing.

I was in a standard hospital room. A bed, a door leading out, some chairs for visitors, and the heart rate monitor.

I also had a guest.

Luna sat in one of the chairs on the wall to my left. She looked like she was waiting patiently for me to wake up.

“Ah!” She said, cheerfully. “Awake at last!”

I smiled weakly at her. It was an effort to do even that much.

“Yeah.” I croaked. “Back from the dead.”

Luna smiled at me. “Not dead, my friend. Merely extremely weary.” She levitated a glass of water over to me. “Sit up, and drink. It will help thy throat.”

I did, and was extremely grateful for it. The moment that the water touched my throat, I could feel my energy coming back to me.

I finished the glass in one pull, and handed it back to Luna. As she levitated it back to the nearby table, I asked, “So, what happened?”

“The changeling entered thy head whilst thy sleep the night previous. She must have felt thy power and claimed thee to be a threat to her plan. She cast a spell on thee that causes one to feel more tired than they truly are.” She scrunched up her nose in disgust. “She had layered the spell on thee three times. How thou had awoken that day at all is a miracle.”

I gave a shake of my head. “That’s nice and all, but I meant what happened after I passed out.”

“Oh. Well, when thou had gone unconscious, the changeling had put mine sister in a cocone. From there, she would be able to draw away mine sister’s power and add it to her own.”

I shivered at that. “Geez. There’s a scary thought.”

Luna nodded in agreement. “Eventually, the Elements of Harmony came back, though they were captured. Twilight got the opportunity to free Cadence from her entrapments. When Cadence got free, she rushed over to her husband, and freed his mind from the compulsions. When the captain tried to cast out the changelings with his spell, he found that he wasn’t powerful enough. Cadence gave him strength with her love, and the two of them cst out every changeling in the city. Where they were sent, I’ve no idea.”

So, they defeated Chrysalis with the power of love…

Fuckin’ Equestria, man.

A thought came to mind. “Luna, how long was I out?”

“A day and a half. The wedding is over, and the reception is just starting. I was hoping that you would awake soon. I would rather like to attend.”

I look down at myself, inspecting myself for any major injuries. “Am I good to leave?”

Luna nodded. “Thou will most likely be tired, but the worst has come and passed. Should you wish to join me, I will help thee in getting to the reception.”

I nodded. “Alright. Let’s go.”
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We got to the reception just as it started to really pick up.

We found the EoH and Celestia, along with the newly-weds, standing near what looked to be a dance floor.

“Hello, everypony. Did we miss anything?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, what’s the haps?” I added.

Everyone turned to us and smiled.

The Elements all ran up to me and gave me a group hug. They all started to say something, but they were talking over each other, and I couldn’t understand a word of it.

“Girls, girls! Calm down!” I said. “It’s not like I died or anything!”

They all laughed, and stepped away from me.

“So, what did I miss while I was out?” I asked them.

Twilight stepped forward. “When we got captured, we were sent back to the ceremony hall. When we got there, we found the Queen standing over you, and we got worried. But then we noticed all the cracks in her chitten, and we started to have hope that you were only unconscious. I got the opportunity to free Cadence, Cadence freed Shining, and they both cast out all the changelings. They took you off to the hospital, and told us that you only passed out for exhaustion. We were still worried, but the real wedding was coming up, and we had to be ready. The real wedding happened, Rainbow did her sonic rainboom, and I got a new sister-in-law!”

“Sounds eventful.” I said. I turned to Pinkie. “But don’t we have a party to celebrate.”

Pinkie’s eyes got wide. “You’re right!” She then charged off to the nearby DJ booth, and pulled out Vinyl Scratch from under the table. What she was doing there, I have no clue.

The music started to pick up, and Pinkie tossed a mic to Twilight, who caught it with her magic, and started to sing.

"Love is in bloom!"
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There comes a point at every party where all the guests are tired. They all lose their energy, and have had enough party for one day. It’s at this point when people start to leave and call it a night.

This happens at every party, and a wedding reception is no exception.

But that’s fine by me. Because I had a plan.

Earlier in the week, I had asked Deep Breath if he knew any musicians in town. He had known of a few, and those few were able to introduce me to the people that I needed to know.

I had also asked Signal Flare for a schedule of the bands that were going to play. I got the schedule during the party, but it was still helpful.

Didn’t want to interrupt someone who was actually good.

Despite the beginning of the reception being more pop orientated, we were still in Canterlot, and there were still nobles around. It was only a matter of time before the classical instruments came out.

But that’s ok. I had planned for that too. Hoped for it, even.

As the band I was waiting for came out, I walked up to a pony near the stage.

“Ready?” I asked him.

He nodded, and waved to a few of the ponies on the stage.

They didn’t stop doing what they were doing, but they did start to smile. They were waiting for this.

Ten minutes later, and the band was playing some boring piece of classical music.

The EoH were around doing there thing, but they didn’t look that enthused about the music.

The party was starting to die down.

Time to rectify that.

I nodded to the pony I had talked to earlier, and he walked off.

I saw him again, about a minute later, escorting the piano player that was on stage out into the crowd.

I smiled. Perfect.

I made my way up to the stage, took the mic from its stand, and sat on the bench in front of the piano.

Most of the musicians on stage stared at me. The only ones that didn’t were in on what was going on.

The music died down, and the ponies in the crowd seemed to notice something was wrong. They had all gathered around, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“Sir?” One of the musicians on stage said. “You can’t be here. Please get off the stage, and stop disturbing the party.”

I looked at him. “Disturbing the party?” I asked incredulously. “Nah, man! I’m getting the party going again!”

I turned to the piano keys and started to play.

Tonight, I’m gonna have myself a real good time.”

Family Is Important

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I swear it, it’s as though these ponies know I have other shit to do.

I’ve been trying to continue that side project that I’ve been working on for the past forever and a half, but every time I start to make real progress, I get interrupted.

Yesterday, Twilight asked (dragged) me over to the library, so we could talk magical theory.

The day before that, Pinkie asked (again, dragged) me off to the marketplace, so I could help her get gifts for Hearth’s Warming Eve. She made me carry everything, while I know for a fact she could have just put it all in some pocket dimension or something.

The day before that, Applejack asked (dra- well you get the idea) me to help her around the farm. In winter. SHE NEEDED HELP FARMING IN WINTER!

All these distractions have prevented me from getting to my own personal stuff. And it’s not like I’m going to say no. Then they’d just give me those pouty faces that could give a man type two diabetes at a mile away.

My friends had constantly needed my help ever since the wedding, and I was all to weak willed to deny them.

But, damn, does this shit get excessive.

So, when I heard the buzzing that was my apartments ringer, I stalked up to it, pushed the speaker button, and yelled,”What the Hell do you want?”

There was a moment of stunned silence from the other end. Eventually, Celestia’s voice came through the speaker. “Uh, Connor? Is this a bad time?”

I sighed. Great. I was going to take out my frustration on someone who didn’t deserve it.

“No.” I said. “Just… Working on something, and I’ve gotten all sorts of interruptions. You want to come in?”

“If it’s not too much trouble, yes.” she responded.

I pressed the button that unlocked the door, and went back to my little project.

About a minute later, my apartment door opened to let in Celestia, and my personal minion, Signal Flare.

By the look on Flare’s face, I can tell that she’s still pissed about being my little lackie (even though she technically isn’t).

She showed Celestia to my work area, and then let herself out without a word to me.

Celestia looked after her. “Is she still angry?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Hasn’t said a whole sentence to me ever since the wedding. If she is good at one thing, it’s mopping.”

Celestia shook her head. “You really should tell her about her new job. She can’t spend all her time doing your bidding, when she has an actual job to do.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but when I tell her, I get the feeling that I’ll want to be able to run as far away and as fast away as I can. I don’t think that she’ll appreciate the humor in it.”

Celestia sighed. “You’re terrible.”

I smiled at her. “Thanks. Now, what are you doin’ here? Don’t you have a country to run?”

She nodded. “Yes, but I need your help with something.”

I tilted my head. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Do you remember that favor you owe me from the Tag Games?”

I nodded.

“Well, I want to cash that in.”

I shrugged. “Sure. But, forewarning. I don’t do anything involving children or animals.”

She blinked at that. “What? Why don’t you-” She shook her head. “No, never mind. Luna’s birthday is coming up, and I need help coming up with ideas.”

I blinked. “It’s Luna’s birthday?”

Celestia nodded. “On Hearth’s Warming Eve, in fact. Luna usually doesn’t have a party, because she thinks that the founding of Equestria is more important a thing to celebrate than her.”

“Huh. That’s a humble thing to think.”

Celestia nodded agreement. “Indeed. I usually get her something small, but this year, I feel the need to get her something that she’ll remember for a long time.” She looked down. “It will be the first present she’s gotten since she came back from the moon…”

My brows furrowed at that. “You didn’t get her anything last year?”

Celestia shook her head, still looking down. “I didn’t remember. IT had been a thousand years since I celebrated her birthday. It used to be a day where I would cry myself to sleep each night, so I tried to forget about it. I only remembered this year because Luna was dropping not-too-subtle hints about it.”

I slowly nodded my head. “Ok… But what do you need from me?”

She looked up at me. “I remember once that you said that you are gifted in making a small situation big. I was hoping that you would help me do so with this.”

I wiped the grease that was on my hands off on a rag, and sat down on a nearby couch.

“Luna’s birthday…” I mused. “This would be the first time that you are getting her a gift in a thousand years. You want to make sure that it can be remembered…” I looked up at her. “What did you say when Luna was cured of the Nightmare?”

Celestia looked surprised at the question, though she furrowed her brow in thought.

“I… I told her that we should put our differences aside, and that we were meant to rule together. Why?”

I ignored the question. “Did you apologise?”

If she was surprised at the last question, this one put her in a state of near shock. “Why would I apologise?” She asked, incredulous.

I rolled my eyes. “If I recall correctly, you did send her to the moon.”

“Well yes but-”

“And,” I continued over her, “if the legends of Nightmare Moon are anywhere near correct, then it was due to neglect and resentment by you that drove her to it.”

“What?!” Celestia asked, anger touching her voice. “How was I, in any way, resentful of my sister?!”

I gave her an even look. “Because when she started to slowly go insane, you did nothing to find out why. You didn’t resent her with your words, only your actions. You only did something to stop her when she was preparing to cast the entire world into eternal night. By doing that, you showed that you thought that her opinion didn’t matter, and that she was a child throwing a tantrum.” I rolled my eyes again. “Honestly, Celestia. Luna wasn’t the only one to cause what had happened back then. You’re just as much at fault because you did nothing to stop it, until things got out of hand.”

Celestia looked shocked. I think she wasn’t used to being treated with this much blunt truth.

She stood there, her mouth open. Slowly, tears started to run down her cheeks, and she fell on the floor, crying. My very dirty, very greasy, floor.

“Oh, geez.” I said, feeling awkward. “Uh, hey. Come on, don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

She continued to shake with tears.

“Please stop crying. If you cry, then I’ll start crying, and I look absolutely pathetic when I cry. You don’t want to see that, do you?”

There were hiccups in her sobs now. She must have been laughing between the tears.

After a moment, she gathered her composure, and stood up. She wiped tears off her cheeks with a hoof.

“You,” she sniffed, “You’re right. It wasn’t only Luna’s fault that she fell into the hate she did. I wronged her, and was arrogant enough to not even realise it. But what does this have to do with Luna’s gift?”

I smiled at her. “I have an idea for the Hearth’s Warming Eve play.”

Her brows furrowed. “Uh, ok. What?”

“I was thinking,” I explained, “that after the play itself, we held a sort of talent show. Anyone who wants to spread holiday cheer or give messages to loved ones is welcome to come and perform for everyone. Music, singing, dancing, storytelling, any sort of festive activity that you can think of. And I was thinking that that would be the perfect place for you to give your gift to Luna.”

“But I still don’t know what to give her.”

“True.” I said. “You don’t. But I do.”

Celestia gave me a frustrated look. “Well? What is it.”

I gave her a wide smile. “You’re going to apologise.”
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Days later, and Celestia and I found ourselves in the theater in Canterlot.

The whole Hearth’s Warming play had come and gone, and the EoH did yet another good job of it. Out of all the episodes that I had seen, that was one of my more favored.

Celestia and I sat in the backstage area, where we prepared to tell the crowd that the talent show was about to come underway. Celestia, of course, was nervous.

“I don’t see what you’re worrying about.” I told her. “It’s not like she’ll hate you for apologising.”

Celestia shook her head. “You don’t get it. She’s my sister. If I did anything to harm her, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I only barely survived my times when she was banished. But that isn’t what I’m worried about.”

I quirked a brow at her. “Then what is?”

“It has been a very long time since I have done anything quite like this.” She responded. “I don’t remember the last time that I put myself in front of my subjects, and performed for them. It’s making me nervous.”

I chuckled a little. “Celestia, those nerves are natural. every performer gets them at some point in their lives. But you need to remember. You aren’t doing this for them. You’re doing it of Luna.”

That made her stop. She considered my words, and slowly nodded her head. “Yes, of course I am. I know that, but I can’t help but be nervous of their opinions anyway.” She shook her head. “Not to mention that I might embarrass Luna to no end. She was the one that found entertainment in my humiliation, not the other way around.”

I looked at her incredulously. “You do realise that Luna won’t care if she’s embarrassed, right? She’s a pony who had been missing for a thousand years, then is forced to learn all the social rules of modern society, which aren’t too humbling on their own. She is a strange person in a strange land that only vaguely resembles home.” Kinda sounds like me, in retrospect.

Celestia shook her head harder. “But she’s family. I know that I probably couldn’t embarrass her if I tried, but there is still the chance. It makes me nervous anyway.” She sighed. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

There was a moment of stunned silence.

“I’m sorry?” I asked.

Celestia looked at me. “Connor, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you are the only one of your kind here. it is easy to forget that you come from a home of your own, especially when no one can see it.”

I nodded. “I know what you meant. It doesn’t mean that you get the right to say things like that, but I get it.” I sighed, thinking.

I haven’t seen my family in, what, a couple months? I don’t even remember. Everything has kinda been a blur. First one thing happens, the the next, and suddenly I’m surrounded by talking multi-hued ponies, with a power inside me that I barely understand, and that will slowly drive me insane over time. Things have happened pretty fast here, or at least it seemed that way.

And the thing about all of this, is that I didn’t even consider what I would be leaving behind. I’m sure that I’ve racked my parents sick with worry. The few friends that I did have would probably do something stupid, in an attempt to find out where I went, and that would probably end up with one of them in a body cast. That’s not to mention my girlfriend at the time, Cathy, who I had been getting rather serious with. I have no doubt that she had cried herself to sleep a few times.

Thinking about it, I really made a stupid decision, just leaving like I did. I didn’t have much of a choice in whether or not to go, but I did leave without so much as writing a note.

Christ, I’m an ass.

Celestia seemed to recognise the look on my face, and asked, “Connor, are you ok?” Her voice was smooth, and sympathetic.

I shook my head. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just realised that, when I was dumped into Equestria, I left without telling anyone goodbye.” I chuckled slightly. “I suppose that’s for the best, though. I never did like goodbyes.”

She gave me a slight smile, and said, “Come on, Connor. We have a show to put on. Afterwards, we can have a talk, if you’d like one.”

I looked at her, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, I went with a quiet, “Thanks.”

She nodded. “Now, lets go. We have to remind the crowd about why they are still here.”
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“Good evening, Canterlot!” I said into the mic that I was given.

The ponies in the crowd slowly calmed their chatter, and turned their attention onto me and Celestia.

“Yes, good evening, my little ponies.” Celestia said, into her own mic.

“I hope you all enjoyed that little play. Very well performed, and I think that they deserve another round of applause.” When I said that, I started to clap, and the crowd joined in with me.

when the applause died down, I said, “So, bet you’re all wondering just what the Hell you're still doing here.” There was a sound of agreement. “Truth be told, we locked the door, and misplaced the key.” The crowd laughed at that. “In all seriousness, though, we here at the theater are glad to present to you a new little thing that will help us celebrate the Hearth’s Warming holiday.”

“Indeed.” Celestia agreed. “We have spent the past few days coordinating with the theater management, and any other assets that we might need, to come to you with a new Idea. Tonight, we are going to end the night with a small talent show.”

“And by small,” I said, “We mean, consisting of you people. Any of you who have even a smidge of musical, lyrical, or dramatic talent are welcome to come up here and perform for all your peers, who will be silently judging you.”

Celestia gave me a mild glare. “The point being, that anyone can come and spread the holiday cheer, just so long as they come up here and perform.”

The ponies all exchanged dubious, yet excited, glances. Apparently, they want someone else to start it before they participate.

“And, to kick things off,” I said, “I think that I’ll be the starting act. Just to get you people comfortable with the idea.”

I looked at Celestia, and she gave a nod of consent.

I smiled at her, and she walked off stage.

So, I was left alone there, thinking of a way to start off a talent show.

I’ll be honest, I hadn’t really thought of any ideas for this. I didn’t really plan to participate, other than with helping Celestia.

I suddenly felt a familiar chill run down my spine, and I had the best idea that I could probably come up with, on such short notice.

I ran backstage, looked around for what I needed, and pushed it onto the stage.

Some of the ponies back there helped me push the piano onto center stage, and I thanked them for their help.

They scurried back, and I went back to my mic.

“Now,” I started, “this is a song that i used to hear frequently back home. It was usually played around this time of year, during a holiday called ‘Christmas’. Normally, I would dedicate the song to the season, but tonight, I’m going to dedicate it to a friend of mine that has decided to show up.”

I looked in Isaac’s direction, where he had entered the reality, and nodded at him. “This one’s for you, old man.”

I then stepped back from the mic stand, focused my Will, and snapped my fingers.

Standing next to me, were three other copies of myself.

They all wore the same clothes. A hoodie, cargo pants, sneakers, and sunglasses. The only difference was the colors of the clothes. While the main colors of my clothes are orange and purple (with red shoelaces, and random paint splotches on the pants), the others were colored with a different brush.

One of them had the colors of blue, where I had orange. Another had green. The third was closer to pure red shades. They all were identifiable as me, yet diverse enough to not be mistaken as the real me.

Frankly, it was one of my cooler spells.

I grinned like a moron, and walked up to the piano, my clones following me.

We each got into our separate spots, and started to play.
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From my song, which had been met with much applause (I mean, come on. Have you ever seen a guy play four different parts to a song all at once?), the shows went on without a hitch.

Quite a few ponies thought that it was a good idea to participate in this new idea, and promptly lined up. Their performances were quite good, though not nearly as sexy as mine (modesty, thy name is Connor).

But as time went on, Celestia got more and more nervous. Granted, she controlled it very well, but it could still be seen in how she held herself. She was tense, and getting more so by the minute.

“Hey,” I said from next to her. “You’ll be fine.”

She nodded nervously. “Of course. I know that. But it’s one thing to know that you’ll be fine, and another to feel nervous.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

I patted her on the back. “Well, you best get rid of those nerves soon, because we go up next.”

She nodded again, and took a deep breath.

I left her to calm herself, and walked over to the orchestral musicians that were setting up.

I spotted one that I recognized, though not by name, and padded up to him.

“Hey,” I said, drawing his attention. “You guys ready?”

He looked around. “Just about, but we need to know what we’re playing, if you want us to play at all.”

I nodded, and handed him a stack of sheet music that I stored in my don’tquestionit. “Hand these out. Read ‘em through, and get ready, ok?”

He grabbed the sheets, and nodded. He then went to hand out the music, and I jogged back over to Celestia.

“Ready?” I asked her.

She didn’t respond. Instead, she just walked out onto the stage, and to where the mic stood, at the center of the stage.

I took up my position, at the piano that was a few feet from her.

“Good evening, my little ponies.” She said. “I hope you’ve had a good time so far.” The crowd cheered their agreement.

Celestia looked down. “I have a confession to make, my loyal subjects. I have done many things in my life. Many things of which, that were not easy. And very few of them do I regret. There is, however, one thing that I do.” She looked up. “I have wronged one of you. I have wronged one of you, and hadn’t had the frame of mind to even realise it.” She looked directly at Luna, who sat up in a small booth. “Luna, you decent into Nightmare Moon had gone unnoticed by all. Not eve I had seen it, though I should have. I had, in my arrogance, assumed that you were merely complaining for the sake of it. I hadn’t foreseen what would happen. And in my neglect, you fell into a madness that took a thousand years to cure. For this, I have had Connor,” I waved at Luna, “help me create a gift for you tonight. A gift that I hope will show you just how much I am sorry for what I did, or rather, didn’t do. I only hope that this will help mend the gap between us. The one that we both created.”

She nodded at me, and I started to play.

“Fate has been cruel and order unkind

How can I have sent you away?

The blame was my own; the punishment, yours

The harmony's silent today

But into the stillness I'll bring you a song

And I will your company keep

Till your tired eyes and my lullabies

Have carried you softly to sleep

Once did a pony who shone like the sun

Look out on her kingdom and sigh

She smiled and said, "Surely, there is no pony

So lovely and so well beloved as I"

So great was her reign and so brilliant her glory

That long was the shadow she cast

Which fell dark upon the young sister she loved

And grew only darker as days and nights passed

Lullay moon princess, goodnight sister mine

And rest now in moonlight's embrace

Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth

Through cloud, and through sky, and through space

Carry the peace and the coolness of night

And carry my sorrow in kind

Luna, you're loved so much more than you know

Forgive me for being so blind

Soon did that pony take notice that others

Did not give her sister her due

And neither had she loved her as she deserved

She watched as her sister's unhappiness grew

But such is the way of the limelight, it sweetly

Takes hold of the mind of its host

And that foolish pony did nothing to stop

The destruction of one who had needed her most

Lullay moon princess, goodnight sister mine

And rest now in moonlight's embrace

Bear up my lullaby, winds of the earth

Through cloud, and through sky, and through space

Carry the peace and the coolness of night

And carry my sorrow in kind

Luna, you're loved so much more than you know

May troubles be far from your mind

And forgive me for being so blind

The years now before us

Fearful and unknown

I never imagined

I'd face them on my own

May these thousand winters

Swiftly pass, I pray

I love you; I miss you

All these miles away

May all your dreams be sweet tonight

Safe upon your bed of moonlight

And know not of sadness, pain, or care

And when I dream, I'll fly away and meet you there

Sleep…

Sleep…

Sleep…”

As the last notes faded into the theater, you could see, clear as day, the tears that covered every pony’s face. Most importantly, Luna’s.

When the last note faded, Luna sprung from her chair, flew in, and tackled Celestia in a hug.

It was a beautiful sight, really. Those two were perfect complements to each other. One serious, the other humorous. One following the calculations of their mind, the other, of their heart. One day, one night. You could tell just by being in the same room as them, that they had grown closer than most ever would with anyone.

And that had been tainted.

When Luna came back, and the two started to interact once again, you could feel the tension between them.

Celestia had been right. There was a gap between them. A kind of gap that forms when you want to trust someone, but are still wary of them, due to their history. It was the kind of gap that could be filled in and make a relationship stronger, or one that could destroy it all together.
Looking at the crying sister, I could almost see that gap being filled, their relationship with each other getting stronger. Everyone could. And everyone applauded.
Not me, though. I didn’t clap. I merely smiled slightly, and walked away, content with letting the two sisters have their moment.
For me, the rest of the night was spent getting home.
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When I got home, I found that I couldn’t sleep.

Not really a new thing for me. I would often find myself in a position where I was too tired to sleep. I always hated those moments.

I leaned on a windowsill in my apartment, one hand held up at neck level, holding the silver pentacle amulet that I wore (usually under my shirt).

I looked down at the thing.

It was a simple piece of artwork. A silver five pointed star, bound inside a circle. The points representing the five elements: fire, water, earth, air, and spirit. The star was inside the circle, which represented control. Power bound with restraint.

A slight chill went down my spine, and I smiled. I had expected him to show up at some point.

“‘bout time you showed up.” I said through a yawn. “I was getting tired.”

Isaac’s voice came from behind me. “Well, I simply needed to see you. I really wasn’t expecting you to do that song for me. That was very well played.”

I smiled, still looking out at the snow cover landscape of Ponyville.

I saw Isaac enter my peripheral vision.

“But something that shocked me even more was that ordeal with Celestia and Luna. Care to explain that one?”

I shrugged and said. “I owed Celestia a favor, and she cashed it in. She wanted help with getting a present for Luna, and I obliged her. I figured that that would be as good a gift as any. Family is important, after all.”

Isaac nodded. “Yes, it is. But I suspect that you have other motives.”

My face became serious. “Family,” I repeated, “Is important.”

I pushed off the windowsill, and walked over to a nearby table.

On the table was a simple brown box, and a white envelope.

I took my necklace off, and put it in the box, the envelope following it.

I picked up the box, and walked over to Isaac. I held it out to him.

“Can you do me a favor, and deliver this to someone?”

Isaac’s brows furrowed, but he took the box and nodded. “To who?” He asked.

I simply tapped the address on the box.

He looked down at it, and his brows lifted.

“Yes, of course. I shall deliver it personally.”

I nodded, and looked back out the window.

My guest made his way for my door, but I said, “Isaac?”

He stopped, and turned to face me.

“Thank you.” I said.

He merely smiled and nodded.

He left my apartment, and I felt the chill that accompanied his departure.

I continued to stare at the snowy lands of Ponyville, and mused about day that had been.
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The sound of loud knocking drew the woman out of her stupor.

She blinked, and looked around her living room.

The place hadn’t been ever pretty, but now it just looked like a pigsty.

Bottles of all shapes and sizes were strewn about, along with papers, wrappers, and anything else that you might think accompanies a disorganized room.

There was a distinct lack of Christmas decorations around the place. Usually there had been a tree, a raging fireplace, and decorations on any surface that would support them. But, this year, there were none. The world had become a grey place ever since her son had disappeared.

She heard the sound of knocking once again, and her attention snapped to the front door.

She sighed, and lifted herself up from her position in the couch. There was an impression from where she had been. Those were becoming more and more common.

She reached the door, and swung it open, to find a vigorous looking old man in a UPS uniform.

He had grey hair, a grey beard, and deep blue eyes. He also wore a brown UPS uniform, retrofitted to fit the cold weather. On the left breast of his jacket, was a name tag that read ‘Isaac’.

‘Isaac’ smiled and held out a small package to the woman. “Delivery.” He said.

The woman furrowed her brows. “I didn’t know that UPS shipped on Christmas.”

Isaac shrugged and said, “Someone paid express. Said to get it here A.S.A.P.”

The woman took the package, and the man turned around to leave. “Wait.” she said. “Don’t I need to sign for this.”

The man turned to her, smiled, then walked away.

The woman’s brows furrowed even deeper, and she shut the door.

She made her way over to the couch, and took a seat.

She grabbed a pair of conveniently placed scissors, and cut off and tape that held the package together.

When she opened it, her mouth dropped open.

Inside, was a simple pentacle amulet, and an envelop. When the woman saw the pentacle, she instantly recognised it.

He eyes snapped to the note, and she grasped it, tearing it open.

Inside was a small piece of paper that read, simply,

“Merry Christmas.”

Learning Of The Truth, And The Terror It Brings

View Online

I popped the final smokey glass panel into its frame, and step back to admire my work.

It was finally done. The project that I had spent a long while working on was finally done. It only took most weekends, Thirty two-liter coke bottles, and about fifteen interruptions, but I finally did it.

Yeah, I had just made a virtual reality simulation pod.

Don’t ask me how I did it, because I won’t tell ya (and I really don’t know myself). But, suffice to say, it wasn’t easy.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a very large, very loud groan. From the sound of it, the voice that made it belonged to Twilight.

I looked out the nearby window, and saw her tree-brary being launched into the sky, propelled by a magical explosion at its base.

I shrugged, and continued on with my day. You get used to this kind of stuff when you live in Ponyville.

As it turns out, though, I didn’t have to make plans for the rest of the day.

The buzzer to my apartment started to go off, signaling me that someone was at the door, trying to get me to answer.

I threw the oily rag that I was using to mop up my hands, and went to the buzzer, pushing in the button to the speaker.

“Yellow.” I said in greeting.

“Hello, Connor.” Came Rarity’s voice. “Could be so kind as to come down here with us? The gang and I were going to Canterlot, to help support Twilight on a test that she has to take, and I think that she can use all the help she can get.”

My eyebrows raised at that. “Is that what that explosion was about? Her getting stressed over the test.”

Rarity sighed. “Indeed. You know how she can be, sometimes.”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “I’ll be down in a minute. Just got to get cleaned up, and put a fresh shirt on.” My current one, for some reason, was covered in grease.

A couple minutes later, I was in front of my club, with my usual get up.

Rarity looked me up and down. “You know, now that I think about it, that look really does suit you. Are you ready to go?”

I smiled at her. “Thanks, S’mores. And yeah, lets get going. I take it that we’ll be meeting the others at the station?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes. The others just followed Twilight, when she went to leave, but I got the idea that you might want to come along.”

“Thanks. Don’t want to feel excluded, now do we?”

Rarity smiled. “Indeed not. Now, shall we?”

I nodded and we made our way to the train station.
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The train ride was, as expected, uneventful. Really, the only thing that happened was me getting caught up to speed on the situation. It didn’t take very long.

Twilight was contacted by Celestia, and told that she was to come to Canterlot and partake in a test. What kind of test, wasn’t stated, so Twilight proceeded to flip her shit, and pack as much study material as she could. Apparently, the explosion from earlier was from Spike say that it was ‘just a test’. Twilight, be who she is, lost her shit at that, and launched the library about a mile into the air.

Really, it was impressive. And a little scary.

“Look, all I’m saying is that you don’t have to be the only one to work your orchard.” I told Applejack.

We had been discussing her farm for most of the train, and I tried all that I could to point out any illogical points in her work ethics. Suffice to say, I found plenty.

“Darnit, Con! I don’t need no strangers help!” AJ defended. She was under the impression that hiring extra hands to help around the farm would make her a sellout, or something like that.

“If Ah can’t do it mahself, I don’t want no random passersby to try themselves at it! Even if they could, it’s mah orchard! Hirin’ others would ruin the ‘small town business’ Ah am! It would mean that I ain’t got any integrity!”

I gave her a look. “Your family has farms all around the entire nation, selling apple goods, and running out any competitors. When ever someone with an opposing product come along, you claim them to be a charlatan, and force them out of town with an angry mob. You’ve done it before. You don’t have a small town business. You have a fucking MONOPOLY. But that isn’t the issue. The issue is that you let your pride get in the way of your productivity. let me ask you something. Do you get to harvest all the apples that you grow?”

AJ shook her head. “Well, no.”

“Do you even harvest most of them?”

She rubbed a hoof to the back of her neck. “Uh, no.”

“Then think of all the extra money that you could make if you did get all those apples. You would probably quadruple the amount of money that you earned. It it wouldn’t be selling out. It would merely be giving jobs to those that have none.”

AJ shook her head, but didn’t contest me.

We had arrived at the station at the time that the argument had ended, and Twilight streaked off toward the castle, as soon as the train stopped.

“Welp,” I say, looking after her. “Now what?”

My friends shrugged, and Rarity said, “I suppose we wait for her to get back. That would seem to be the only thing that we can do.”

I scowled. “Well, that’s boring.”

Pinkie jumped up next to me. “Yup! So what do we do?”

I tilted my head. “Uh. make it fun?”

She beamed at me. “Exactly!” Her brows furrowed, and she frowned in thought. “But how do we do that?”

I smiled and left Pinkie to her thoughts.

I took a seat on the platform bench that was nearby, and started to think.

About ten minutes after I started to get comfortable, Twilight and Spike (who I hadn't noticed was gone) came up the steps to the platform.

“Uh,” Spike said, “prepared for what exactly?”

AJ ran up to Twilight. “Twilight! Uh, did you pass?”

Pinkie, who for some reason was back in the train car, pushed her party cannon out. She fired it, jumped into the air, and asked, “ Are we gonna celebrate your awesomeness with Princess Celestia?!”

Twilight shook her head. “ Not quite. We're going to the Crystal Empire!”

Pinkie fell back down to the ground, and the confetti that she fired for the cannon fell perfectly back into the muzzle. Something that wouldn’t be possible for a normal person. Granted, Pinkie wasn’t normal, but still.

“Crystal what?” Rainbow Dash asked.

We all got back on the train, as Twilight answered. “The Crystal Empire! It was an empire that is located to the north of Equestria. A long time ago, an evil unicorn named King Sombra had taken over and enslaved the empire. Eventually, he was defeated, turned to shadow, and banished beneath the ice that surrounds the city. Before he was banished, however, he cursed the empire to disappear. The Empire has only just showed up, and Princess Celestia has given me the task of ensuring that the Empire is protected! That’s my test!”

The others started to whisper to themselves, probably discussing the idea of this empire.

Me, I was more troubled by what Twilight had said that that unicorn was turned into. Smoke. A cloud of smoke.

My face went pale at the thought that had crossed my mind, and it didn’t go unnoticed by the others.

“Connor?” Twilight asked. “What’s the matter?”

“You, uh. You said he was banished into a the ice under the Empire, and turned into a cloud of smoke, right?”

She nodded. “That’s what the princess told me.”

I gulped. “Yeah. I was afraid of that.”

She furrowed her brows. “What do you mean? Afraid of what?”

I took a deep breath, and answered. “Do you remember the time when Cerberus had attacked Ponyville?”

She nodded, and I noticed the others had stopped their gossiping to listen in. “Yeah, he came in, destroyed some stuff, then you put your hand on his head and he stopped. How did you do that by the way?’

I ignored the question. “Well, at the time, Cerberus was under the influence of a sort of demonic being. When I went into Cerberus’ head, I found a dark cloud inside him. While it was inside him, it controlled his thoughts, and fed off his anger, making it stronger the longer it stayed in him.”

Fluttershy chimed in, “But Cerberus doesn’t hate anything! He’s just a cute little puppy.”

I looked at her. “He is one of the only things that prevents all the things banished to Tartarus from getting out, and destroying everything that they come across. He has to have a hate for those things, otherwise they would be able to just walk past him.”

“But they didn’t!” Pinkie offered. “Cerberus left, but nothing got out!”

I looked around the train car, and said, “That’s just it. I think something did get out. Something big. Something evil. And something that isn’t real.”

“Isn’t real?!” Twilight shouted. “That’s impossible. Nothing can’t not be real!”

I sighed. Cat’s out of the bag, at this point. Plus, I think they deserve to know.

“Girls, do you know why I’m here? In Equestria, I mean.”

They all looked confused.

Twilight answered me. “You said that Discord was retiring, and that he needed a replacement.”

I nodded. “Yes, but do you know what my actual job is?”

“I always thought that it was to spread chaos across the world. I mean, that’s what Discord did.” The other girls nodded their agreement.

“No, that’s not it. Not even close, really.”

I sat back in my seat, thinking about how I would explain it to them.

Finally, I said, “The universe is big. That really shouldn’t surprise you. I mean, the universe is constantly expanding, giving way to more and more opportunity for things to exist. The thing about that, though, is that this isn’t the only universe to exist. There are countless others, each with its own peoples, its own history. And every universe, every reality, has a Guardian.”

“A… Guardian?” Twilight asked. “What’s that?”

“A Guardian is a being that exists for the sole purpose of protecting the reality that they are given. They protect it from all sorts of things. Sometimes realities get too close to one another, and the Guardians of those realities are suppose to move them out of the way of each other. Other times, the fabric of reality gets a little weak, and a Guardian needs to reinforce it somehow. That’s what they do. They make sure that the reality they protect continues to exist.”

Twilight seemed to consider what I was saying, then her eyes widened. “That’s you. That’s what you do. You make sure that the universe doesn’t end?”

I nodded. “I’m this realities Guardian. Discord wanted to retire, and he passed the mantle off to me.”
The girls all traded skeptical looks.

AJ said, “Uh, Con? Do ya’ll know Discord? Because he was a right villain. Ah don’t think that he was protecting much o’ anythang.”

I shook my head. “Not in your life time, no. Not even in the princesses life times. But he was pretty old. Half a million years old, from what I heard. And the power that we Guardians have, it changes you. It influences your thoughts, makes you a contrast to the ambient energies in the universe. But that’s something for another time. My point is that I’m a Guardian. But we don’t only do universal maintenance.”

I took a deep breath. “There are things out there. Things that want nothing more than to destroy everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Their goal is to attain a state of nonexistence. They want to destroy all things, anything real, and they have the means to do so.”

I looked at Twilight. “When I say that something isn’t real, I mean that it doesn’t exist. Not in the same way that you and I do, at any rate. I don’t fully understand how it works, but they don’t belong to any given reality. They are spawned from the nothingness that is in between them. The emptiness that has yet to be filled by either space or time. They don’t exist, and they want everything to be like them.”

The girls all looked at me in startled silence.

Finally, Twilight said, “But, why? Why do they do that? What could they possibly want to destroy everything for?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I asked an associate of mine, and he didn’t know either. All that I do know, is that one of these abominations is here, in Equestria.”

Their mouths dropped open, and they were too stunned to ask the obvious question.

“When Cerberus invaded Ponyville, there was something in his head, like I said. It was a cloud that wanted nothing more than to destroy everything that crossed its path. It wanted everything dead, and it had the means to do so. But when I banished the thing from Cerberus’ mind, it left me a message. It said, ‘ Winter will come’.” I looked around. “And Twilight says that this Sombra guy was banished underneath a field of ice. Something that is heavily associated with winter.” I shrugged. “I might just be paranoid, but I get the feeling that this unicorn, isn’t real.”

The girls looked at me, still shocked.

“Girls?” I asked, worried. “You ok?”

They slowly came out of their stupor, and looked at me. When I saw their eyes, I saw the recognition in them. They have realised the fact that there are things out there, big things, that want nothing more than to destroy everything, simply for the sake of destroying everything. They realise that, while they are tough, these beings were bigger, stronger, and more terrifying than anything they have faced before. But I also saw something else.

I saw steel in their eyes.

They knew that they had little to no chance against these things, but I also saw that that didn’t matter. That even if they were big, they would do nothing to stop those that would harm others. Even if they have to give their live to do it, they would.

I found myself smiling at them. They might not realise that they have a fighting chance, but I did. They were the ones that weilded the fail-safe. They were the ones that were the next line of defense, should I fail. And seeing that they were prepare to fight those monsters, did my heart good.

“How do you girls feel?”

They all looked at each other.

“Scared.” Rarity said.

“But ready to do whatever it takes to make sure those meanies don’t hurt anyone!” Pinkie shouted. The rest of the girls nodded their agreement.

I smiled. “Good.”

We then lapsed into a contemplative silence, each of us thinking on the facts that we had just learned, as the train made its way north, to the Crystal Empire.

The girls were probably thinking about how they might have a chance against the eldritch abominations, or if they would ever see one. I even saw Twilight calculating the odds, in her head, of Sombra being one of these monsters.

They were thinking about the enemy. I was thinking how I might have just gotten my friends killed, drawing them into this fight.

Let’s hope they’re prepared.

The Welcoming Party

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We got off the train a few hours later. Most of the conversation had livened up, after my depressing explanation. The girls were trying to find a way to cope with the new truth they had learned.

Can’t say I blame them.

When we stepped off the train and onto the platform, we were hit with an arctic gust of wind. The ponies had fur coats to protect from this, and I had my hoodie, but those could only go so far. We all started to shiver in the cold, some of use more than others.

Rarity, when she got off the train, said, “Ha! And you all made fun of me for packing so many scarves.”

I glared at her. “A-And you didn’t t-think to sh-share them with your f-friends?” I stuttered. “H-How nice of y-you.”

Rarity blinked, then turned to Spike and said, “Spike, be a dear and pass some of those scarves around. Our friends are surely getting cold.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Spike said, like the good little kissass he is. He popped open the suitcase with the scarves in them and went to grab a few, but they all started to fly away. “Whoa! Hey! C'mere…” He started to run around, chasing the scarves.

Twilight was on the edge of the platform, looking out into the tundra before us.

Inside of the gusting wind, I could make out a shape making its way towards us.

Twilight looked up at me, and pointed at it. I nodded, confirming I saw it too.

Seconds later, Shining Armor made his way out of the blizzard, took off the goggles that were over his eyes, and said, “Twilight!”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprised happiness, and she jumped off the platform, and glomped her brother. “Shining Armor!”

The rest of the gang followed Twilight to where she and her brother stood, so we could easily interplay ourselves in the conversation.

“Twily! You made it!” Shining pushed his sister off of him, and gave her a serious look. “We'd better get moving. There are things out here we really don't want to run into after dark.”

Fluttershy gulped nervously. “What kind of things?”

Shining looked around us, as though trying to spot some unknown eavesdropper. “Let's just say the Empire... isn't the only thing that's returned.”

I grimaced. “Yeah, I was afraid of that.”

Shining looked at me, confused.

I sighed. “Don’t have time to explain it here. I’ll do it when we get somewhere safe.”

He nodded and motioned for us to follow him.

We had been walking for several minutes before Twilight asked, “So, what is going on here?”

“Something keeps trying to get in!” Shining responded. “We think it's the unicorn king who originally cursed the place.”

“You say ‘trying’!” I shouted over the storm. It seemed to be getting worse the more we walked. “How are you keeping it out?”

“We have a shield surrounding the city! It’s been able to keep him out so far!”

That didn’t really tell me how they kept Sombra out. I mean, it was an eldritch abomination from the nothingness in between existence. If it wanted to get in the city, no mere magical construct would be able to stop it.

Twilight interjected. “ But Princess Celestia said I was being sent here to find a way to protect the Empire! If King Sombra can't get in, then it must already be protected.”

Before Shining could respond, there was a large, hollow howl that pierced the air.

Fluttershy looked behind us, and stuttered, “Th-That's one of the things, isn't it?”

Shining’s head whipped around, looking for the source of the howl. “We have to get to the Crystal Empire! Now!”

With that, he started to sprint in the direction that we had been walking.

“Go, go!” Twilight shouted, and ran after her brother. The rest of us followed suit.

We ran for the outskirts of the city, which was being visually blocked by some sort of sphere around the border.

The more we ran, the farther behind the main group that I got. I mean, yeah, they have four legs, while I only have two, but that had never been a problem before. You’d think that ponies, being made of dark matter, or something, would sink right into the snow. But no, they barely left any footprints, while I was ankle deep in the stuff.

Twilight looked behind her to check up on me, and her eyes widened when she noticed how far back that I was.

I waved her forward. “Go!” I shouted. “Get in the city! I’ll catch up!”

She looked at me in surprise, but by the time that she would have responded, she was already inside the boundary of the city.

I slid to a stop, and turned to face the demon that was gaining on me.

I faced it in a defensive pose, ready to cast it back into the tundra, to buy us some time to plan. Hell, maybe I’d defeat him, and we could all go home.

The cloud of smoke stopped about twenty yards away from me, and we squared off against one another, sizing each other up. It kinda reminded me of a Mexican Standoff.

“C’mon, big guy. You chase after me, and now that I’m ready to fight back, you stop?” I said, not even bothering to raise my voice over the howling of wind.

To my utter surprise, and complete dissatisfaction, the cloud spoke. “Any of my kind aught to be wary of yours, Guardian.” Its voice was a raspy thing, covered in spiderwebs and rust.

I tried not to let it rattle me that that thing just spoke. “Yeah? Well, let me give you a warning then. Leave now, and I won’t have to cast you back to that Hell you call a home.”

It laughed. And it sounded completely inhuman, and utterly disgusting. “You don’t truly think that Tartarus will be able to hold me, do you? I am far too powerful for that petty rock these mortals call a prison.”

I shook my head. “I’m not talking about Tartarus. I’m talking about the Nothingness. The place that you were born. The place that you despise so much, that you wish to force all of existence into the Hell that you were put through. I won’t send you back to Tartarus.” I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll send you back to Non-existence.”

The abomination howled in fury, and charged at me.

I tried to meet it half way, but I found that I couldn’t move my legs.

I looked down, and my eyes widened as I saw the black ice that had formed around my legs, going all the way up to my calfs.

I called forth my power, and snapped my fingers, teleporting myself to the left of where I had stood before.

Apparently, when you teleport, it also takes anything that might be considered your clothes.

When I appeared when I had sent my magic, said magic must have thought that the ice on my legs was something that I wanted to bring with me. It was still stuck to my legs, and I was just as stuck to the ground.

Sombra howled when its initial charge had missed, and it circled around, looking for me.

When it was that I was just as stuck as before, it let out a smug sound, and charged me again.

This time, I didn’t bother to teleport.

When it got close to me, I thrust out both of my hands, and cast a gout of magic fire at the cloud.

The fire collided with it, and held it back. Where the fire and the abomination met, you could see where the cold of its presence was melted by the heat, creating a sheet of mist that soon surrounded me.

The mist would have been a good escape route, but my feet were still encased in ice. Ice that seemed to be slowly climbing up my leg, despite the intense heat that it just went through, being near me.

I would have burned the ice off of me, but magic fire is still fire, and I would only end up burning myself in the process. I have a pretty high pain threshold, but those kinds of burns would make me pass out.

My thoughts were interrupted when I noticed something about the mist around me. It was slowly getting more and more dense, as though the mist on the edges was coming closer to the center.

My theory was confirmed, when all the mist suddenly shot straight at me. I would have thought that it would burn, but the mist had cooled down at a faster rate that I thought would happen. The mist gathered around the remainder of my legs, my lower torso, and my hands and forearms, and suddenly condensed into blocks of ice, preventing me from using the areas it covered.

I realised what had happened. Sombra had used the mist to encase me in ice, trapping me even further. I was stuck there, and, unless I found a quick way out, at Sombra’s mercy. Of which, he had none.

A dark chuckle came from all around me, and I swiveled my head around to find the source. The dark cloud that was Sombra had fallen all around me, preventing me from seeing into the snowy landscape. At seemingly random points in the cloud, I could see a flash of red light, presumably the thing’s eyes.

“The child Guardian has fallen, in his first conflict no less. How utterly predictable.”

I would have had a snappy comeback, but the cold of the ice on my body, and the whipping winds around me caught my breath in my throat. I was simply too cold to do much of anything.

“How does it feel, little one? To know that your fate is in the hands of someone else? And that that someone has little to no sympathy toward any of your kind? Does it frighten you?” It did, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Not that I could.

“I am going to enjoy breaking you. You will be my first meal in ages, and I wish to savor it.”

I slowly looked up at the cloud, wondering just how the Hell I was going to get out of this one.

“Let us begin, shall we? I am ever so hungry, and your pain will be very satisfying.”

And then that dark cloud shot toward me, on all sides, surrounding me in a blanket of black hatred.

The shadow started to seep into my skin, and I could feel the weight of its rage when it did. It had to carry a burden so heavy, that it physically harmed me to touch, as though I was getting burned by a raging inferno. Or perhaps, more accurately, dry ice.

The cloud dug deeper into me, and the icy sensation that surrounded my lower body suddenly became a simple background feeling. For when the shadow had fully entered my body, it started to tear its way out again, slowly and agonizingly.

I don’t know when, but at some point, I had started to scream.
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Twilight stared at the shield around the city in surprise.

Connor had just stayed behind, for some reason. It didn’t make any sense to her. If the city was protected, then why try to fight Sombra off? It would only be an unwarranted danger, and pretty much pointless. At least, that’s what it seemed to Twilight, and Twilight wasn’t stupid, generally speaking.

Twilight spun around to face her friends. If she was going to help Connor, she would have to make sure that her other friends were ready too.

“Everypony ok?” she asked. There was a chorus of nods and affirmatives.

“Yeah, everypony looks fine, Twily. Now, we just need to make our way to the-” Shining cut himself off, as he looked around at the ponies around him. Ponies, but no human.

“Hey, Twi,” he asked. “Where’s Connor?”

Twilight shook her head. “He stayed behind to hold off Sombra, or something. All that I know is that he’s still out there, with that monster. We have to go get him!”

There was a shout of agreement from the girls, but Shining shook his head. “No, we can’t. It’s too dangerous for us out there. Connor is a big boy, he can take care of himself. We need to get to the castle as soon as we can. If Connor holds Sombra off long enough, maybe we have a chance to finish this before it escalates.”

Twilight looked at her brother, shocked about what he just said. “Are you saying that we should just leave him there?! Something that we were just running from?! What if he needs our help?! What if he got hurt, and can’t make it back here?! What are we going to do then?! Just leave him to the windigos?!”

Shining shook his head, dismay evident on his face. “I’m saying that the best way to help him would be to finish preparations, and defeat Sombra as soon as we can. The longer we wait here, the weaker the shield around the city gets. Connor can take care of himself, like I said, and we need to think of the bigger picture here.”

Applejack walked up next to Twilight. “He’s right, sugarcube. Do ya think Con would want us here bickering, when we could be out there helpin’ ponies that need it?”

Rainbow Dash flew in front of them. “AJ! Are you seriously suggesting that we leave Connor there?! I know that I’m not the friendliest to him all the time, but I wouldn’t just leave him to somepony like Sombra!”

This claim escalated the argument even further, where everyone took a side. Shining, AJ, and Rarity were adamant that Connor didn’t need any help, and that their time would be better spent looking for a solution. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Spike, however, were determined to get their friend out of harms way.

The arguing continued as each pony shouted at another, trying to convince each other. Their shouts were interrupted by a loud, shrill noise.

Screaming.

The fighting stopped as they heard the piercing sound. The voice sounded as if in true agony. And it was a familiar voice.

Connor was in trouble.

Twilight turned wild eyes to her brother, who nodded, and ran for the edge of the shield.

They would get their friend back, one way or the other.
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The searing agony that the abomination had caused in me stopped suddenly, and it felt as though I could finally breath again. My throat felt raw, as though I spent the last few minutes tearing out my vocal chords with a pair of plyers. Frankly, I might as well have.

I was dimly aware that the shadow that had tormented me seemed to be focused on something else, something in the blizzard. It’s gaseous body still prevented me from seeing out, however, so I had no idea what was so distracting to it. To be perfectly honest, I was too busy trying to not pass out to care.

You ever get that kind of hurt that just stick with you? It usually is associated with small injuries, like a bruise, stubbed toe, maybe hitting your funny bone. That’s what it felt like to me, a constant ache that wouldn’t let you get any rest, and is only there to remind you that you fucked up at some point in the day. Except for me, that ache, is more like feeling my bones being set on fire and my blood being sucked out through my pores. It was a heavy, agonizing pain, and it just wouldn’t go away, no matter how much I wished it to.

Not only was that pain constant, but it was also expanding. I don’t mean that in the sense that I was feeling more pain. It was the same amount of pain, it just spread itself out, like food colouring in a glass of water. The same quantity, just spread out. It made the pain lessen in the more concentrated areas, but that also meant that new spots were starting to hurt. But I’ll take what I can get.

My self-pitying thoughts were drawn back to reality, when I heard a bellow of rage come from all around me. The shadow had become angry at something.

A second later, and I saw a beam of purple magic shoot through the cloud barrier that surrounded me. In the hole that was created, I saw Shining Armour running toward me.

“Connor!” he shouted. “Are you ok?”

I tried to respond to him, but my voice was broke. I must have destroyed my voice when I was screaming.

“Connor? Can you talk? You must have blown your voice.” I nodded dully. “OK! Come on, we need to get out of here!”

I gave him as best an even look as I could manage, and looked down at my half frozen self.

His mouth opened in an ‘oh’ kind of gesture, and he zapped me with some magic. I was released from the ice, and fell flat on my face, into the snow.

Shining looked at me worriedly, but didn’t say anything as I picked myself up. I motioned toward the opening in the cloud he had made, and he nodded, making his way over to it.

The opening, however, started to seal shut. Shining ran toward it, trying to do something to stop it, but it closed before he could get there.

A maniacal laugh was heard from the cloud, it taunting us. The swirling cloud that surrounded us seemed to take on a movement of contempt and smugness, as though it’s satisfied with itself.

Shining looked around us, nervous tension playing across his face. He was doing a good job trying to control it, but only so much can be done when facing a eldritch monster from the nether regions of creation.

I grunted at him. He turned to me. I tilted my head at the edge of the cloud barrier, trying to put a sense of inquiry to the gesture. Shining seemed to get it.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I could try the same spell that got me in again, but there is no telling if Sombra has already adapted to it. It might not even work.” I snorted, and jerked my head at the shadow. Shining shook his head, and said, “This isn’t a smart idea,” but did it anyway.

The magic beam shot out toward the cloud, and when it hit, the purple seemed to merge with the shadow, and then cut out a neat hole, rimmed with purple, for us to fit through. We both smiled, and ran for the exit.

We shot out of the hole, like a bat out of Hell. We sprinted (well he sprinted, I more of hobbled) toward the edge of the Crystal Empire’s shield, and were about to make it, when I got a prickly feeling on the back of my neck.

I ducked down on pure instinct, and saw a blast of blackish purple magic shoot past me, and toward Shining. I tried to shout a warning, but it just came out a garbled mess that was drowned out by the sound of the rushing blizzard winds. The magical bolt struck Shining in the back of the head, and he tumbled forward, through the shield, and into safety.

I got up from my crouch, and hobbled forward. I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to look behind me as I went. I did, and saw the shadowy form of Sombra, dancing in the arctic breeze. When my eyes landed on it, I saw a flash of eyes, a vicious smile, and then it was gone, back to its lair, or whatever.

I stumbled through the shield, and collapsed onto grass. How grass was in the middle of this storm, I have no idea. But I didn’t care. I was too tired to care. To worn to care. The pain that that thing put me through had drained any bits of energy that I might of had, and I could feel the crash coming on.

The last thing that I thought before I reached blissful unconsciousness, was ‘If I can’t talk, how am I going to be a wiseass?’

And It Goes From Bad To Worse

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“Ow.”

That’s how I woke up. In pain. To be expected, really. I did just get the shit beaten out of me.

“Oh! Your awake!” A female voice said. I heard the clopping of hooves, and the the voice saying, “Don’t move, Connor. I’ll go get the others.”

Not moving sounded like a great idea, so I did that.

Shit, that thing took it out of me. I mean, yeah, I was essentially just tortured, but I didn’t expect it to hurt quite this bad afterwards. My muscles ached, my brain felt fried, and my bones felt like they would snap under the iron grip of the blanket on top of me. All in all, not the best way to wake up.

The clopping of hooves sounded off again, this time with more sets. The more the sound played, the more I realised that the noise hurt my head. Not really sure how I didn’t notice before, but the pain only just registered, and I cringed away from it, trying to get the blanket between me and the agony in my ears.

When I moved to pick up the blanket, my body screamed at me that this was a monumentally stupid idea, and that I should cease and desist at once. My body is generally smart about these things, and the pain in my muscles and bones was worse than that in my ears, so I stopped. In the face of one pain or the other, I admit that I took the lesser of the two.

The clopping of hooves stopped, and voices started to talk. All at once. I hadn’t opened my eyes yet, but I recognised the sound of the voices. The girls were all shouting at me for one reason or another, and my ears bled in response.

“Girls!” Fluttershy’s soft voice said over the shouting. “Calm down. Can’t you see all the noise is bothering him?”

There was a moment of silence, then a unanimous apology that made me cringe again.

I opened my eyes, and glared at them.

We were in a bed room. A guest room in a castle by the looks of it. The walls were made of a bright blue crystalline material, the roof the same. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, emitting a warm, candle light that light the room surprisingly well. All the furniture were made a pinkish crystal, of a similar texture of the walls. In total, I would guess that we were in a guest room in the Crystal Empire’s castle.

I continued to glower at the girls, and croaked, “Can’t a guy get any sleep around here? I just got my ass handed to me, and all you want to do is bitch and complain at me? Let me get a drink of water first, at least.”

The girls, except Fluttershy, all flushed with embarrassment, and Rarity levitated a glass of water to me. I grabbed it, took a long drink, and handed it back to her, where she put it back on the end table she got it from.

“Now,” I said, my voice slightly stronger. “What’s going on?”

They all opened their mouths to speak, but I cut them off. “One at a time! Just one of you tell me what happened. I don’t think my ears can take much more punishment like that.”

Twilight stepped up. “When we got into the shield, I was still shocked that you stayed behind. Shining Armor noticed that you were gone, and asked where you were. I told him that you stayed behind, and he said that we should leave you their, that you could take care of yourself. I got into an argument with him about it, and the rest of the girls took sides. Eventually, we started to hear you scream. Shining ran into the tundra to get you, then came back about a minute later, black crystals growing from his horn, and you behind him. You passed out, and we took you to the castle. After that, we decided to wait until you woke up before we asked about the situation.”

I took in her words, and asked, “Shining wanted to leave me there?”

Twilight sighed, but nodded. “Yes. He said that you were tough enough to take care of yourself, and that you wouldn’t want us to waste time if it meant that other people could be helped.”

I nodded. “He’s right.”

Twilight blinked. “What?”

I shrugged, and winced at the pain. “Yeah,” I said, my teeth clenched. “If it were a choice between me and other, innocent people, I would want it to be me that got left behind. Staying loyal to your friends is important, but staying loyal to what is right is more important.”

Twilight frowned at that, but nodded. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But anyway, we were waiting for you to become lucid before we talked to whoever is in charge around here.”

“Who is in charge around here, anyway?”

Twilight was about to tell me that she had no idea, but the rooms door opened, and Shining Armor and Cadence walked in.

“That would be me.” Cadence said. She looked like utter shit. I mean, she looked bad when I found her and Twilight in the caverns during the Canterlot wedding, but now she looked worse.

Her mane was bedraggled, and in dire need of a brush. The purple bags under her eyes made a subtle contrast to the dulled pink of her coat. Her horn was glowing a faint blue, faint enough to make me think that she was running out of juice. She walked with a kind of weight in her step, as though each movement drove her closer to passing out.

All in all, she looked like shit.

“Christ,” I said to her. “You look like shit.”

She gave me a less-than-amused look. “You’re one to talk. At least I’m not bedridden.”

I snorted. “I wouldn’t say that. By the look of it, you’re about ready to pass out.”

Cadence laughed weakly, but cringed in pain, her horn flickering out for a second.

Shining put a hoof on his wife’s shoulder. “Cadance has been able to use her magic to spread love and light. That seems to be what is protecting it. But she hasn't slept, barely eats. I want to help her, but my protection spell has been countered by King Sombra.”

I grunted. “Yeah, makes sense. That blast of magic at the very end, there? That was probably to disable you. Take one of his enemies out, and most likely disable the other.”

Shining looked a this wife, worriedly. “She can't go on like this forever, and if her magic were to fade... Well, you saw what's out there waiting for that to happen.”

I shivered, and a phantom pain shot through my body at the memory. The rest of the girls nodded. “That's why we're here.” Twilight said.

Applejack stepped up. “Why we're all here.” The rest of the girls nodded their agreement.

“Well, with Cadence putting all her strength into keeping her spell going, and me trying to keep an eye on signs of trouble in the arctic, we haven't been able to gather much information from the Crystal Ponies.” Shining explained.

Rarity lost her shit. “Crystal Ponies?! Hahaha, there are Crystal Ponies?!” We all stared at her. “Um, ahem. Please continue.” She gave us an awkward smile. Good to know that I’m not the only one that gets stared at like a I’m a moron.

Shining continued. “But we have to believe one of them knows how we can protect the Empire without having to use Cadance's magic.”

“Yeah, that seems likely.” I agreed. “I mean, the taffy pony over there hasn’t always been around, so there has to be something. Just got to find out what it is, and where to find it.”

Twilight perked up. “A research paper!”

I blinked at her. “Uh, what?”

“That must be part of my test – to gather information from the Crystal Ponies and deliver it to you! This is gonna be great! I love research papers!”

Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, who doesn't?”

Pinkie’s hoof shot up. “Oh-oh-oh! Lemme guess! Is it Spike? Nono, Fluttershy! Rarity?”

Rainbow sighed, and didn’t respond to her pink friend.

“Don't worry, big brother.” Twilight said. “I am really good at this sort of thing.”

Shining nodded. “I know you are. Good luck.” With that, he and Cadence left.

“Welp,” I said. “No time like the present. Lets go.” I then started to get up, pushing through the aches and pains, of which, there were many.

All the girls immediately shouted their disagreement. They all moved to my bedside, and pushed me back into the bed.
When they noticed that I wasn’t struggling against them, Twilight, still holding me down, said,” Connor! You can’t! You’re still injured! You should at least get a days worth of rest. Let us do this, and you relax.”

I considered her word, then thought for a moment, considering my response. Finally, I said, my voice sharp and frank, “Twilight, you don’t have the right to stop me. I may be injured, I may be sore, tired, hungry, and weary as all Hell, but this is literally what I was made to do. This is my job. This is what I was brought to this reality to do, to protect those of this reality, even if it meant that I gave my own life to do it. With all due respect Twilight, this is, quite literally, none of your business, your test be damned. You don’t get to tell me if I can or cannot come, because, if anything, you’re tagging along with me. Not the other way around. Now let me up.”

The girls were silent for a moment, either shocked that I fought back so fiercely, or shocked that I said to Hell with Celestia’s test. You can guess who was thinking what.

After the moment passed, Pinkie said, “You know, he’s right.”

The other girls looked at her.

She shrugged, and got off the bed. “I mean, it is his business. It wouldn’t be very nice of use to stop him from doing what he has to. If one of you came into SugarCube Corner’s kitchen, and told me to get out, that I wasn’t allowed to do my job, I wouldn’t be too happy. If Connor wants to come along, then he can.”

The others stared at Pinkie, contemplating her words. Slowly, the rest of the girls got off of me, until only Twilight held me down.

She looked conflicted, as though she wanted to let me up, but something in her mind was giving her pause. Probably the whole test thing.

“Twilight.” I said, getting her attention. “Just let me up. You can still finish your test, only now, you’ll have my help. What do you have to lose?”

She sighed, and got off me. “Fine. But I’M going to be the one who saves the Empire. I have to, if I want to pass. Now let’s get searching.” Then, she, and the others, left to get information.

I got out of the bed, my muscles screaming at me to stop moving so much. I ignored them, and followed after the girls.
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“Nothing? You remember nothing of the time?” I asked, completely mystified.
The crystal pony shook her head. “No, nothing. If there was something before Sombra, I don’t remember it.” She shuddered. “The most I do remember is that there was something new when he came. Something cold.” The pony shook her head. “I’m… Sorry, but you have to go now.”

I nodded. “I understand. Thank you for your time.” Then I left the pony’s house.

It was odd, asking so many questions, but getting little in the way of answers. It seemed as though Sombra had cast a curse over the entire Empire, to make them forget of the time before it showed up. The last bit from that pony was the most I had gotten. ‘Something new. Something cold.’

What the Hell did that mean?

That could mean anything from the tundra outside, to her leaving the AC on for too long.

I shook my head, and sat on a nearby bench, rubbing my aching legs.

If Sombra did cast a spell that big, then it meant that there was something to hide after all. Not really useful info, but it does tell us that we’re going in the right direction.

Maybe there’s something that we can find, not a person we can ask. Maybe a book, or journal or something, with the info that we need. Sombra seems the egotistical type that would keep its weakness conveniently placed somewhere that was perfectly obvious in retrospect, but no one bother to look.

Well, what ever the case may be, I needed to go to the girls and tell them my findings.

I made my way to our meeting spot, the courtyard right underneath the castle. When I got there, all the others were already there, talking.

“Hey girls.” I said, drawing their attention. “Couldn’t find anything useful.”

Twilight sighed. “Yeah, none of us could find anything either.”

AJ scrunched up her nose. “These crystal ponies seem to have some kinda collective amnesia or somethin'. Only thing I was able to get out of 'em was somethin' about a library.”

Twi’s eyes went wide. “A library? Well, why didn't you say so?!” She then zoomed off in a random direction, seemingly given some kind of divine knowledge on where the library was. Or maybe all librarians have some kind of sixth sense for that kind of thing.

I groaned. “I just get here, and we’re leaving already? Confound you ponies. You’ll drive me to arthritis.”

AJ shot me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Con, but you were the one who insisted ya’ll come along.”

I nodded. “I know what I signed up for. At this point, I’m just complaining for the sake of complaining. Helps me deal with the aches.”

“Makes sense.” She looked over at the rest of the group, who had started after Twilight. “Well, we best go after them. Don’t wanna get left behind, now do we?”

“Yeah.”

So, AJ and I followed after the group, us staying a bit behind, because of my aching legs. The pains had withered down a considerable amount, but I had been walking ever since I got out of bed, the only time for rest at that bench.

“So,” AJ said, breaking the silence. “Ya’ll didn’t find anythang?”

I shook my head. “Nothing useful. The most I found was someone saying that when Sombra came around, something new came with him. Something cold. To Hell if I know what it means.”

AJ’s brow furrowed. “Somethin’ cold? That don’t make a right lick of sense. Maybe we’ll find something at the library.”

“Maybe so. We can only hope, really. At this point, we’re just floundering around, looking for anything to go on.”

AJ nodded her agreement. “We need somethin’ soon, or else we might be too late.”

The last bit put a bullet through that conversation. We lapsed into a thoughtful silence, where I thought about anything and everything that that pony might of meant when she said ‘something cold’.

We arrived at the library a few minutes later, and found Twilight just staring around the place, her jaw dropped open, clearly in awe.

“I just... I don't even know what to... There are no words.” She stammered.

I walked up next to her, and said, “‘Wow’ might be a good place to start.”

She nodded her head, dully. “Wow.”

Someone cleared their throat from nearby, trying to get our attention. It was another crystal pony, the librarian most likely. “May I help you?” She asked.

Twilight, still in awe of her surroundings, said, “Yes. We're looking for a book.”

“We have plenty of those.” the crystal librarian said.

“You do. You really do.”

AJ stepped up next to Twilight. “We're lookin' for a history book. Somethin' that might tell us how the Empire might've protected itself from danger back in the day.”

The librarian thought for a moment, then said, “Yes. Of course. History, history... Ah, yes.”

There was a moment of silence, where everyone stared at the crystal pony.

“Well?” I asked. “Where is it?”

The crystal pony got a look of confusion on her face. “ I... I can't seem to remember. I'm not sure I actually work here.” Might as well have said that she forgot how to eat too.

“Of course. Because you remembering would have made things easy, and that might have broken something.” I complained. The girls all gave me an arch look. I scowled at them. “What? I’m dealing with the pain.”
They rolled their eyes, and Twilight said to the librarian, “Well, can we look around to see if we can find what we’re looking for?”

The crystal pony nodded. “Go ahead. Just put everything back when you’re done.”

And so, we started our search for who-knew-what. To make the process go by faster, we decided to split up and cover sections of the library individually, working our way toward the middle. Everyone went to their respective corners, and the search began.

It took a while for any real kind of progress to be made, but eventually, I found something interesting.

I was searching through a bunch of record book, stuff like seismic activity, magical fluxuation, shit like that. Records of patterns in the area. During my search, I had been thinking about what that crystal pony had told me. Whatever it was, it had to be significant in someway, if it got through Sombra’s mental compulsion. Or maybe that means that it would be utterly worthless. I had no idea, but I felt the need to investigate.

While searching through the books, I came across a record of all the weather patterns for the last one hundred years. Given that the city had been disappeared for the last 1000 years, that meant that the last 100 years was relative to them.

While sifting through the book, I started to notice something. The more recent the recorded average, the colder the weather was. It was odd, like global warming, but in reverse, and super accelerated. At some point the weather went from an average of 80 degrees fahrenheit, to about 50. From that point, the temperature only went down. Sure, some days would be hotter than others, but on average? It was similar to cooling a red hot piece of metal in a water trough. Spontaneous and radical temperature changes.

I frowned over the questions this info brought up. Why the Hell had the temperature changed so suddenly? How had it changed so suddenly? And why was the temperature cold back then, but warm right now? You’d think that weather changes like that would stick with the city, but it must have been about 70 degrees outside. From what the records say, the year of the cities disappearance, the average temperature was about -20 degrees. What had changed the weather?

My thoughts were interrupted by Twilight shouting, “Yes! ‘History of the Crystal Empire’!” I’m sure that the librarian didn’t appreciate Twilight shouting.

I followed the voice, and made my way over to where the rest of the girls were gathered around.

“We found it?” I asked.

Twilight nodded, her eyes never leaving the book in front of her. “Yes! What we’re looking for is called a ‘Crystal Faire’. According to this book, it was established by their first queen and became their most important tradition. The Faire was held every year to ‘renew the spirit of love and unity in the empire so they could protect it from harm’.”

I nodded. “Well, we know what we need to do. Let’s get to it.”

So, we left the library to get started on the whole ‘Crystal Faire’.
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After an extremely catch tune about what the Crystal Faire needed to be successful, we found ourselves around the base of the castle, putting up the finishing touches on anything that needed them.

I was helping Rarity put a tarp roof on one of the stands, where they would sell cotton candy or something.

“I still don’t understand,” Rarity was telling me, “How Cadence is keeping that dreadful unicorn out. If he is what you say he is, then wouldn’t he be able to just go through the shield?”

I shook my head, adjusting my footing on the ladder. “Not unless he’s being held out by his opposite.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if he was being kept out by the thing that specifically isn’t him, then he couldn’t get in. Sombra is inherently a being of hate. A being of cold, wintery hate. And Cadence is the princess of love, or something like that. The exact opposite of hate is love, so she made a shield out of love, or at least the magical equivalent. Sombra can’t get through because he’s being stopped by something that hurts him. It’d be like me using a waterfall of lava to try and keep ponies out of my house. It would hurt you just to be in close proximity. If you were to touch it? That shit would kill you. It’s the same for him.”

Rarity nodded in understanding. “I see. He can’t come through because he is a being of hate, being stopped by love. If he were to touch the shield, it would hurt him.”

“Yeah.” I frowned, a thought coming into my head. “But that’s not what worries me.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? And what is?”

“Why isn’t the snow falling through the shield?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that snow isn’t a bad thing, generally speaking. It’s just cold. It isn’t evil, or bad, or hateful. So it should be able to go through the shield just fine, like we did. But it isn’t. It’s staying out. Why?”

Rarity shook her head. “ I can’t say that I know, dear. Perhaps it is one of those things that we may never know.”

I frowned, my brain trying to follow the chains of logic that were presented. I had a hunch as to why the snow was staying out, but that’s all it was. A hunch. Not really anything to move on. Not yet.

The rest of the preparations went without incident, and the fair was up and running in no time.

There was to be a huge opening ceremony, to make the official statement of it’s beginning, and me, Twilight, and Pinkie, accompanied Shining and Cadence out into the balcony over the city.

Pinkie, with her new flugelhorn, made the intro trumpeteering sounds. When they ended, Twilight stepped forward.

“Hear ye, hear y-” she started, but was interrupted by a certain pink pony, and her annoying horn. Eventually, Pinkie ran herself ragged, and slumped to the floor, allowing Twilight to continue.

“Hear ye, hear ye! Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor do cordially invite you to attend the Crystal Faire!”

And then, the ponies around went about their business, doing whatever it was that pleased them.

“Good job, Twilight.” I said from next to her. “Now all we need to do is wait for the Crystal Heart to charge up, then we can kick Sombra back into the dark little hole he came from.”

She nodded. “And it’s a good thing that we found the book. Otherwise, we might not have found out about the heart in time.”

Suffice to say, things went downhill from there.

Rainbow Dash charged up behind us, yelling, “Twilight!”

The purple pony turned to her friend, concern playing on her face from Rainbow’s tone. “What? What is it?”

“We have a problem! Turns out that the Crystal Heart thingy ‘s been hidden since Sombra was kicked out! We don’t have the real thing, and I doubt that fake one you made will work very well!”

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she ran down a castle corridor, looking for her room. When she got there, she immediately slammed open the door, searched around hurriedly, found the history book she was looking for, and threw it on the table, where she began vigorously searching through it. When she got to the end of the book, she found that the last few pages had been ripped out. She stared at the empty page spots in shock, as though hoping that they would magically reappear. And while that is technically possible, the pages remained torn out, and Twilight turned to face Rainbow and I where we stood in the doorway.

“What is it?” I asked.

“The… Back pages are gone.” She seemed to get more frightened and worried the more she thought about it. “How did I possibly miss that? Something like overlooking missing pages just doesn’t happen to me!” She started to hyperventilate.

I walked up to her, got to her eye level, and forced her to look me in the eye. “Twilight.” I said in a firm voice.

She focused on me, still panting.

“You need to calm down. You need to not panic. Panic will get you killed. It will get everyone else killed. If you panic, you’ll be too unstable to do much of anything. So, for the sake of everyone else’s lives, take a deep breath, and calm down.”

She did, and started to get calm, though I could still see fleeting strikes of hysteria in her eyes.

I narrowed my eyes. “Do you think that Celestia would want to see you like this? That she would find this panic, this anxiety, in her star student? For that matter, do you think that you’d be able to pass her test if you’re like this? You of all people know that if you want to pass a test, you need to stay calm.”

That seemed to put some steel into her spine. She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and when she reopened her eyes, there was a hard resolve inside them.

It just goes to show just how high of a pedestal Twilight put Celestia on, if the threat of the deaths of hundreds of innocent people didn’t get her to calm down. With anyone else, I would say it’s shallow, but I’m not in the business of insulting my friends.

Anyway, when Twilight calmed herself, she began to think about just what we were going to do.

“So, we need to find the real Crystal Heart before this Faire ends, otherwise we miss the window of opportunity to defeat him. From the flickering I saw in the shield earlier, Sombra is going to be making his way into the city very soon. That gives us an incredibly small window to find the thing that we thought we found, but didn’t, then stopped looking for, due to our ignorance. Since we stopped looking for it, we lost a lot a lot of valuable time that we could have spent searching for the real thing, but that’s irrelevant now. Now, we need to find the Crystal Heart within an increasingly smaller time frame, or otherwise the entire city is doomed, Equestria along with it.”

I waited for a second, to see if she was really done. Then I nodded. “Yeah, that seems to be the scuttlebut. But the problem isn’t only about finding the Crystal Heart.”

Twilight tilted her head at me.

“Another problem,” I said, walking over to a window. “Is that.”

I pointed out into the lands that surrounded the city. Around the area where we came into the Empire, was a small black crystal that was slowly spreading into larger, jagged forms of itself.

Twilight, Rainbow, who had been quiet until this point, and I stared out at the rapidly forming spikes.

“Well,” Rainbow said. “Horseapples.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Fuck.”

Wonder What Will Happen Next

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Things went by quickly after the discovery that Sombra was inside the barrier. We had to move fast if we wanted to stop him before he wrecked house. To that end, I went to investigate the crystal inside the shield, while Twilight went to find the Crystal Heart.

On the way to my destination, I did some thinking. When I went against Sombra earlier, it had kicked my ass in a way that I hadn’t thought possible till that moment. The fact that it just froze me, and proceeded to torture me was a scary thing, especially knowing that I had the means to fight back, but not the know-how. He had pinned me to the spot, and, while I could of gotten out, I didn’t know how to. the pain at the time had stopped me from being able to do much, and even if it wasn’t there, the ice would have just come with me if I teleported.

That ice was something to note as well. magic can do a lot of thing, sure, but you can’t really do something that your magic isn’t designed to do. You can’t call up a firestorm if your magic is attune with blizzards. And that was the exact case here. Sombra could call up black ice to encase my legs. By that observation, it can’t do anything in relation with fire, or at least anything massive. It was a being of cold. That might also explain the constant blizzard outside the shield.

I finally got to the black crystal that jutted out of the ground. It was a simple thing. A small little crystal that seemed to absorb any light that touched it, rather than reflect it. Inside the crystal, I could see small swirls of grey clouds, circling around each other in some unknowable pattern. I then proceeded to commence in the ritual that would tell me if it were an immediate danger. A ritual that the ancient Romans used when in need. Something so ancient and sacred, that if I were to fuck it up, Hell itself would take pity on my soul.

I poked it.

Yeah, admittedly, that joke was a bit strung out, but that’s what I did. I poked the crystal to see what would happen, and as it turns out, not much. It was could to the touch, which it shouldn’t have been, given the amount of time it has had in the sun. The texture was smooth, not a blemish on it. It looked and felt like an ordinary rock, but given it’s positioning, no-one could miss that this thing wasn’t natural. It felt too wrong.

Not its physical feeling. Its aura, its presence. The thing just felt wrong, the way that graveyards do. Something is just off about it, and while you know that you have nothing to fear, you can’t help but feel uneasy in its presence.

I felt uneasy around this thing. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I found myself unconsciously looking around for some unseen predator that might have been stalking me. The thing put me on edge, and I really didn’t want to see what the thing was made of.

Damn shame I didn’t have many other options.

I gulped, and put the palm of my hand on the top of the crystal.

When I sent my mind into the crystal, I didn’t find anything at first. When one pushes their mind out of their body and into another space, such as an open room, you usually get the ambient feel of the room. The essential presence of what kind of stuff happens in that space. If a bunch of bad things, like murder, happen in that room, you get a feeling of the room like you would get around a particularly hungry tiger. The feeling of Fight-or-Flight ready to kick in. It’s a warning that that room is somewhere that you don’t want to be. But if that room had good things happen in it, such as weddings and parties, then you get the feeling of happiness that you get on Christmas eve when you’re a kid. It tells you that this is a place that you might want to hang around in. It a really useful ability to have, though not a practical one. It isn’t something that you’ll be doing while sprinting from room to room. It requires a lot of focus, and most everyday things can disrupt the kind of focus that you would need.

When I pushed my mind into that crystal, I didn’t get anything at first. I felt nothing, which had never happened before. You always feel something, even if its the energy of the things around you. For the first few seconds, that crystal was empty of energy, of life, of anything. That, by itself, is a scary thought. Everything needs energy to live and exist. This thing had none.

But then the crystal seemed to take notice of the fact that it was being observed. When it did, there was a feeling of intense cold, colder than any of the arctic blasts that were whipping around outside the shield. This cold was deeper than that, stronger than that. It sucked the energy out of me, making myself weaker, and itself stronger.

Startled, I thrust myself back into my own body, and stumbled away from the crystal.

That little thing had power. Not a whole Hell of a lot, but still enough to be dangerous. And whatever touched it, the crystal drew the power away from it to power itself. It was self-powered, and by the amount that it was taking in, it was probably going to start expanding at some point.

The cold presence of the thing was a little disturbing though. Everything that had Sombras mark on it was cold. Simply and unendingly cold. It made me start to doubt what I knew about the thing.

I started to shake with nerves. I really didn’t want to fight this thing again. Last time I tried it kicked my ass.

I shook my head, closed my eyes, and tried to calm myself.

Stop. This thing is big, yeah, but not unbeatable. You need to calm down. Look at the facts.
Reason has always been a way to get rid of fear. Or at least make sure that it’s justified. So I looked at what I knew.

Fact one: Time was running out. Twilight needed to find the Crystal Heart soon, and I needed to buy her time, otherwise Sombra will be able to get in and wreck house. Which would be bad.

Fact two: Sombra had tried to take me out near day one of my time in Equestria. When he sent Cerberus to attack, it was probably under the hope that it would kill me, and if not, it would give it a good distraction to set things up.

Fact three: When I cast out the small part of Sombra in Cerberus’ head, it left me a message before it left. ‘Winter will come, Guardian.’

Fact four: When I faced Sombra earlier, it didn’t make an attempt to kill me outright. That was probably due it arrogance, and the need to cause pain. It trapped me in black ice, and tortured me as much as it could.

Fact five: Sombra was a being from Non-Existence. If it wanted to, it could get through the shield Cadence put up, strong magic or not. Yeah, the fact that Cadence made the shield out of magical love would definitely give it trouble, but it could certainly get through.

Fact six: Sombra hasn’t gotten through the shield. The little crystal jutting out of the ground nearby was a part of him, sure, but it only got there because he put it through in the moments when the shield was flickering. Sombra, for whatever reason, wasn’t going through the shield that he could most certainly pass through.

Fact seven: When ever we see Sombra, it’s always in a winter setting. That might seem insignificant, but it is still a fact.

Fact eight: The snow of the tundra outside wasn’t passing through the shield. If me and the girls could pass through it without trouble, then the snow should too. The shield was meant to keep things of evil and hate out, but for some reason, the snow couldn’t get in, even if snow isn’t inherently evil.

Fact nine: I may not have done much to harm Sombra, but what I did do seemed damn effective at stopping him. That gout of fire I threw seemed to stop him cold.

And finally, fact ten: No matter what the situation, I was designed to have the power to stop Sombra, and his kind. I have the means. I just need to know how to apply them.

All those facts helped me calm down. It made me analyze the situation, and come the the conclusion that things weren’t totally hopeless.

I thought about what I knew, trying to piece together every little fact I had, in order find a weakness or loophole that I could use. What I found down the chains of logic, gave me something to work with.

In some realities, such as this one, there are beings called deities. These deities are the physical representation of what they control. Celestia, for example, is a deity. She is the physical representation of the sun. Luna is too. Discord was deity of chaos and madness, when he lost his marbles. Even I was one. I was the physical being of existence. Reality incarnate. I represented this universe.

Deities have the ability to control their domains. Celestia can move the sun. Luna, the moon. I can alter reality because of it.

And Sombra could control the winter.

He was a being of pure, cold hatred. That’s why it used black ice to trap me. I was in its domain, its center of power. Sombra is a being of winter, and if he were to leave that setting, his power would be greatly reduced. That’s why the snow isn’t getting through the shield. It came from the deity of winter, who happened to be something that wanted to destroy all of existence.

Sombra was the King of Winter. He probably got the job by being around for so long. He uses winter magic, grows his power, and just assumes the role. Anyone can do it, it just isn’t that easy. Hell, Twilight could become the deity of magic, though that would be pretty weird.

The point is, that Sombra was the deity of winter, and if you want to fight winter, you do it with summer.

Being a Guardian gives you a lot of power. Generally speaking, I was the most powerful being in this reality. I didn’t really know how to use all that power, given that I haven’t had it for very long, relatively speaking. I knew how to do a lot of stuff, but some of my power has still been unused. It’s why I don’t teleport around and act as careless with my magic as Discord did. I was still unused to it. It would be like getting an extra limb. Its there, you just need to find the muscles to use it.

What power I did know how to use was awesome. I have said this many times before. Dimensional manipulation, gravitational shifts, summoning and spawning matter, and all kinds of other cool stuff. Another power that I found out that I had was being able to change the essence of something.

Someones essence was what they were at a base level. Twilight, as an example, had an essence of magic. Most ponies had the essence of what their special talent is. Sometimes it gets a little more complex than that, but for ponies, it’s relatively straight forward. For deities, its also very simple.

We are what we represent. Celestia is warmth and passion. Luna is calm and mystery. Sombra is cold and desolation. I, on the other hand, am a little bit different.

I am reality. It’s a weird thing to say, I know, but that is what I represent. Continued existence. Discord represented the same thing, but eventually developed an addition to his essence, which was chaos.

Me? I haven’t developed any such addition. I haven’t been alive long enough to. I could, however, temporarily change the essence of something. I could make Twilight a being of air, thus changing what she specialises in. It would be temporary, but if she needed to perform air magic that she couldn’t normally do, it would give her the power to do it. When she completed the spell, she would revert back to what she originally was. It isn’t without consequence, though.

The process isn’t exactly pleasant. I tried it on a squirrel once, and the thing howled in pain for about five minutes. It also changes you permanently, to a small degree. The bulk of what you are is reverted back, but a small part of you is changed, or you get a new addition. Either part of your essence is permanently changed, or you get a new part of your essence that is what you changed your original essence into. Personality changes are one of the side effects, among many other things.

I could change myself to be better equipped to fight Sombra by changing my essence from one of existence, to that of summer. I would be Sombras perfect opposite, in the best position to fight him, but I would scar myself in the process. It might not be a significant scar, but there is still the change that it might be huge.

At the end of the day, the question was what I was willing to do to do my job.

The answer? Anything.
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The cloud that was Sombra seemed amused that I came to face him again.

“Child Guardian, have you not learnt your lesson?” it rasped.

I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m nothing if not determined. How about we make this simple? Go away, and I won’t have to force you out.”

It growled. “Little child, you think that you might stand against me? Even after I have shown you just how useless you are? Do you truly think you stand a chance?”

“I think that someone has to do something. You might be powerful, but you are also limited. Winter has an opposite, you know.”

A rusty laugh played across the air. “Finally found that out, did you? Yes, I control the snow around us, but without Summer here, there is little that you can do.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Who says Summer isn’t here already?” And then I threw fire right at the center of the cloud.

The effect was immediate. Sombra howled in pain and was pushed back. I focused my energy into the flames, and surrounded Sombra in fire. The blaze that covered it served two purposes. First, to actually hurt it. The second, to push it as close together as possible, in an attempt to make it an easier target for any follow-up attacks.

The fire that blanketed it suddenly erupted into mist, and was thrown away from Sombra in a gust of arctic wind. Where the dark cloud had been, now stood a unicorn. This must have been what Sombra used to look like, before Celestia and Luna turned him into shadow.

Sombra roared in rage, levitated snow off the ground in front of him, condensed it into ice, and shot it straight at me. I jumped back to get some room, and swept my hand in a wide gesture. A wall of fire burst from the ground, melting the spears of ice on contact.

In a howl of cold air, a hole was created in the wall, and Sombra jumped through it. He shot more ice at me, and I hunched back, away from him, making the remaining firewall slink over to me, and create a blanket around my body. I felt the barrage of ice stop for a moment, and shot another gout of flame at Sombra. He tried to call wind to divert the flame away from him, but he only got a bit of it, and was burned by the rest.

He flinched and fell back a little. When he opened his eyes again, they went a little wide with surprise when he looked at me.

I shot a quick glance around me, and noticed what happened to the fire that I used as a shield. It had formed into wings of fire that sprouted from my back, in a twenty foot wingspan. Why I had instinctively done that, I have no clue, but I wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

I used my new wings to shoot forward, a ball of fire in my hand. I would have smashed the ball in Sombras face, but he jumped to the side, and I flew past him.

I landed, and quickly spun around, to find that Sombra had launched an icicle at me. I quickly hopped to the left, and was hit by a gust of wind that threw me farther into the tundra.

Sombra was trying to force me farther into the cold. It was trying to get me farther away from help, and closer to the center of its power.

My fiery wings flapped in an attempt to orientate myself, but I slammed into the ground before they could be much help. I got to my feet as quickly as I could, and on instinct shot a small pillar of fire out of the ground. There was a sizzling sound, and I looked up to see mist come from where the flame had met the ice Sombra had shot at me.

I needed to get closer to the city. The farther away from it I got, the more powerful Sombra got.

In hopes of pushing Sombra back, I shot a rapid stream of fire out at the demon. He blocked it with ice and wind, but had to take a step back every time he did. He shot a glance behind him, and seemed to notice how close to the shield he was.

With a shout, and shot a gust of icy wind at me, causing me to stumble. I recovered, and got out of the way just in time to dodge Sombra, who had shot forward in an attempt to skewer me with his horn.

When he was turning to face me, trying to stab me again, I brought a fist down onto him, forcing him to fall to the ground.

I was about to hit him while he was down, but another gust of wind threw me away from him. He threw me through the shield that surrounded the city, and I tumbled across the grass.

I got up, and was about to charge back into the fight, when a spike of crystal shot out of the shield. The shield shattered, and the arctic winds raged into the area.

The crystal spike grew out of the ground, charging toward my chest. The farther away from the base the tip got, the wide the base seemed to get.

The spike got close to gouging my heart out, but I quickly flapped my wings, and jumped onto the spike. The spike kept on expanding, getting closer and closer to the castle in the city.

Sombra stood on the base of the crystal, though as the crystal expanded, he got farther away from it without having to move.

It howled, and threw another spike of ice at me, which I met with a fireball. It continued to throw spike after spike at me, and I continued to block each with a gout of flame.

Sombra walked forward as we did this, trying to get close enough to do some physical damage.

When he got close enough, he jabbed his horn at me, which I had to block, instead of dodge. There wasn’t enough room for me to do a roll. He continued his jabs, while I blocked him, occasionally throwing in a punch or two when I saw the opportunity.

I was getting sick of this little routine, so I brought my foot up to stomp on his head. It landed, and I used my foot placement to push myself off him, twist in the air, and land behind him.

He quickly got up, and threw more wind at me. I had to block it with my fire wings, wrapping them around me as I had done before.

Sombra looked like he was about to throw in another attack, be was interrupted by a sudden screaming.

We both looked up to see Spike falling from the castle tower, a heart made of crystal in his hands. Sombra looked between me and Spike quickly, gauging distances. He seemed to come to a decision, and turned his full attention onto Spike, probably trying to catch him and get the Heart.

He never got the chance, though, because Shining Armour intervened. By throwing his wife.

Wait, what?

Cadence shot threw the air, propelled by Shinings throw. Before Spike got into Sombras grasp, she flew in, grabbing Spike just in time. She then made a quick turn, flew threw the faire grounds, and into the courtyard under the castle, where the Crystal Heart shot forward, onto a pedestal. A light seemed to emit from the crystal, slowly getting brighter and brighter.

Sombras eyes went wide with panic, and he shot a glance over at me.

My manic smile told him all he needed to know.

I shot a last torrent of fire at the unicorn, pushing him toward the point of the crystal we stood on. He was trying his hardest to fight back, but the light from the Heart, in addition to the fire that hit him, was too much for him to handle.

It’s around here that things went a little strange.

Sombra seemed to consider something in his mind, then closed his eyes solemnly. When he opened them again, they had started to glow bright white light. He threw his head back, shouted out a word in a tongue I didn’t understand, and suddenly exploded in a wave of power.

The power shot out of where he had once stood, cascading through the landscape, and beyond the borders of reality. I knew that last bit, because I could feel it go through the barrier.

Sombra, in a last ditch effort, had shot out all his power across this reality, and into a different part of existence. What the effect was, I had no idea, but it could guess that it probably wasn’t benevolent.

The fabric of reality didn’t explode immediately, so i had to guess that whatever he had done, it would come into play later.

Hopefully, I’ll be ready for whatever it was.

But in the mean time, I had things to take care of.
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As it turns out, the Crystal Heart was in the tower of the castle, and no-one had bothered to look there.

Suffice to say, I felt satisfied in know that I called it.

Twilight had passed her test, though for me, that seemed a secondary thing. Yeah, I was happy for my friend, but saving an entire empire is a bit more important than her grades.

We made our way back to Ponyville from Canterlot after a pretty awesome reprise, and I was recounting the tale of my battle between me and Sombra.

“-and then he just exploded. HE sent some sort of power surge out across the entire universe, and into some other one. I felt some of his power pass the border of this reality. If I had to guess, he sent it to another one.” I said.

The ponies all had different reactions to the story. Fluttershy and Rarity were scared and worried for me, making sure that I was fine. Twilight was thinking about the surge of power that I brought up at the end. Pinkie and Rainbow we gushing over how awesome the fight was, and Applejack agreed with them, though to a lesser extent.

The train arrived at Ponyville station, and we all got out onto the platform.

“Well, that was quite the adventure we had, but I simply must get home. I am in need of some dire beauty sleep.” Rarity said. She stopped and considered for a moment. “And perhaps a bath.”

Everyone chuckled at that. “Sure thing, S’mores.” I said to her. “You go and have fun.”

She smiled and walked off.

“Well, I reckon that I aught to get goin’ too. Sleep sound right to me too, and Granny’s probably wonderin’ where I went off too.” AJ said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired too.” Rainbow agreed. “Gotta get up early for weather detail tomorrow, and I’m pretty beat. See you guys later.” The two of them walked off.

Pinkie and Fluttershy said their goodbyes too, and walked off, leaving me and Twilight standing around.

I looked up at the sky. “It’s about five. wonder why they’re going to sleep so early.”

Twilight shrugged. “It’s been a long couple of days. I’m pretty tired myself. Think I’ll head back to the library, read a book, get clean, and call it a night early. What about you?”

I shook my head. “Nah, I still have some things to take care of. Might as well get them done now, before I forget about them.”

Twilight nodded. “Well, see you around Connor.” I waved goodbye.

I sighed. A nap and a hot shower sounded heavenly right now, but I did have things I needed to do. So, I soldiered on, and went about my business. I needed to make sure that something like Sombra doesn’t happen again. I needed to create spirits of magical energy that were specifically designed to control the seasons, so that some other monster couldn’t master them. I was hedging my bets, you know?

I went off to the Whitetail Woods, and gathered the power that I needed.

When this was over, I was going home, and getting on with my normal, antics filled, life.

Wonder what’ll happen next?

I Dream Of Electric Sheep

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I’m one of those kinds of people who have weird dreaming patterns. Sometimes I’ll be able to have a lucid dream, and others I forget the dream entirely when I wake up. It’s as though my subconscious can’t decide if it wants me to be forgetful or one of those lucky people that can have loads of fun in a dream.

Whatever the case is, this time I dreamt of electric sheep.

I think I might be a robot.

My dream took place in a field. It was your standard kind, nothing really special about it. Rich, green grass, rolling hills, starry night sky, a bright and clear moon, and a long wooden fence that traveled into infinity in either direction. The only weird part of the dream was the sheep.

The sheep were shaped like sheep, as they often are. Their bodies were made of metallic part, circuitry, LEDs and diodes. Their wool looked like metal plating, steel maybe, that was curved and shaped to look like actual wool, but you could easily see the gleam of the metal as the moonlight hit it, and the seams and lines of where rivets held different sheets of metal together. Their heads were shaped like a sheep’s (no real surprise), but it was made out of some dark blue metal, the color almost blending into the night sky. The eyes were a collection of LEDs and such, and the ears were simply small electrical towers that sent off sparks of lightning to each other. They had no mouths, which I felt made sense, for some reason.

The sheep were all standing in a line, walking forward at a steady, almost rhythmic pace. When a sheep got close enough to the wooden fence, they simply hopped over it, and walked off over a nearby hill, and seemingly beyond.

I got the feeling my subconscious was trying to tell me something, though I had the thought without gaining lucidity. My dream self stood there, trying to figure out what was going on, when I felt a prodding sensation on my mind. The poke drew me to lucidity, and I looked around the dreamscape.

The prodding sensation continued as I looked for the source. When the feeling finally stopped, I heard a slight tearing sound come from behind me. I turned and saw a tear form in the air, its edges opening slowly to reveal a figure.
It was Luna.

The Princess of the Night walked out of the tear, panting slightly, as though from doing some particularly heavy lifting. “Thou has a very defended mind, my friend,” She panted. “it took me some time to be able to come before you in dream.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

She tore her way through my mental defences (which clearly needed an upgrade) just so she could come and talk to me in a dream? I would have let her in if she had knocked. And that made me mad.

Not the fact that she didn’t knock, though that did irk me a little. It was the fact that she just assumed that she would be welcome here. This place was mine. It was my head, and she just barged in as though it were public property. I have no problem with her here, but the fact that she simply walked in, not even bothering for permission. I can be a bit possessive of what is mine, and my mind is one of the things I hold close to me, for many reasons besides the obvious.

So when I got a more than a bit angry at her, I feel that it was completely justified. This wasn’t something that I would stop being friends with her over, due to her not knowing how I felt about the subject, but I certainly needed to let her know my imperial displeasure.

“Luna,” I said slowly. “What are you doing here?”

She blinked at me. “I thought that I would come see thee, while thy slept.”

My narrow eyed stare turned into a glare. “Yes, but did you ever consider for a moment that I might not want you to be here? You are, after all, invading my mind, and I would be well within my rights to cast you out.”

Her confused look didn’t go away. “Why would thou do that? We are friends, are we not?”

I nodded. “Yes, but just because we are friends, doesn’t give you permission to just barge into my head. This is an invasion of privacy on such a massive level, the NSA would be appalled.”

“I am Princess of the Night! It is my responsibility to protect Equestria’s citizens from nightmares.”

I snorted. “First, nightmares aren’t a bad thing. Scary, sure, but sometimes they’re your subconscious’s way of telling you something that might be important. Second, while I may be a citizen of Equestria, this is still my head, and I get to chose if I want your protection or not. Not you.”

Luna thought about it for a moment, then her ears flattened back a little, and she said, “Oh, I see. Then I shall go, if I am unwanted.”

I breathed a sigh through my nose, more frustrated than angry. “No, no. You can stay. Just knock next time. I don’t like it when people just intrude on what’s mine without my permission.”

Luna nodded. “I suppose that would only be polite of me. I did come in uninvited. It is just that most ponies are honored to have their princess be present in their minds, and they tend to overlook any small altercations such as invasion of privacy.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t consider you my princess. To me, you’re just another person to antagonise and be sarcastic to.”

She smiled slightly. “I can appreciate that. Life is oft’ too short to spend all your time concerned with honorifics.”

I nodded my agreement. “So, you come here for a reason, or just stopping by?”

Luna thought about her words, before saying, “Before my banishment, I would protect the dreams of the ponies of Equestria, such as I do now. Back then, however, I had a following larger than what I do now. I was jealous of my sister’s popularity amongst the citizens, but that isn’t to say I had my own loyal subjects. Many times, I would take the Followers of the Night, as they called themselves, into the Dreamscape with me, to help in policing dreams.”

My brows raised at that, my interest piqued. “Sounds like good times.”

She nodded. “Those that came with me had become some of my closest friends. I was curious if you would like to accompany me tonight. I would welcome the company, and you may even be helpful.”

Travel across the Realm of Dreams with Luna, hangin’ out in dreams, kicking the shit out of nightmares, and doin’ generally awesome stuff? Sounded like a good time to me.

I didn’t really have to think very long to come up with the answer. “Hell, yeah. That sounds like something that I want in on.”

Luna beamed at me. “I am glad to hear you say so. Before we go, however, you need to learn how to exit your own dream.”

“And how do I do that?”

“You must gain awareness of the fabric of the dream,” she answered. “You must gain the level of lucidity that you have in the waking hours, in your dreams. Once you do that, you must then grab the fabric of the dream, and alter it to your will.”

Sounded a lot like manipulating the fabric of Reality, only a shit ton less taxing. I squinted my eyes mostly closed, focused on the barrier between my dream and that of the space between them. When I got a solid hold onto that barrier, I started to unravel it.

They don’t call it the fabric of Reality, and the fabric of dreams for nothing. You have to literally take apart the dream, bit by bit. First went the smell for me. The fresh grass, the smell of the weird robot sheep, and the dew of a light spring rain all fell away from my nose, leaving the dream scentless.

Hearing went next. The buzzing of late-night insects ceased, the baying of the sheep halted, and the rustle of the grass became no more. The meadow was left in utter silence.

The feeling was next in line to be cast aside. The pressure of my feet on the ground, where they made small impressions on the damp ground. The low breeze that pass through suddenly stopped, making my skin miss the gentle coolness it had brought.

And finally, my sight went out the window. The electric sheep, the rolling green hills, the starry spring night sky, the long-running wooden fence. All these things simply faded into a black void that waited to be filled by one’s imagination and creativity.

The sense of taste had to go somewhere along the process, but I wasn’t eating anything, so that sense went away quickly, and without much notice.

When I was done, about half a minute later, Luna and I stood in the middle of a dark void, one that went on forever. There was no sound other than our breathing, no feeling other than the clothes on my body, no scent other than that odd scent you smell when there isn’t anything too smell, and nothing to see other than the pony in front of me.

Said pony looked slightly impress. “That was well done, Connor. Most that I brought with me to help my work had to take multiple days to figure out how to exit their own dream. Even I did not do it so quickly on my first attempt.”

I shrugged modestly. “Ive… had a lot of practice with things like this.” I shook my head, and got onto the topic at hand. “So, where are we?”

“We are merely in the space between your mind and the full Realm of Dreams. It is the border of your domicile, and the man hub of connecting dreams.”

I tilted my head at her. “‘Connecting dreams’? What do you mean?”

“All dreams emit a kind of magic,” she explained. “That magic is often attracted to each other, and that merging point of magic creates a central hub where one can easily get from one dream to another.”

“Ah,” I said, understanding. “So, where we are right now, is like a train track to the station.”

Luna nodded. “Correct. We should be arriving shortly.”

True to her word, Luna’s horn lit up, and a cascade of colors and sounds seemed to melt out of it. The colors flowed in swirls that slowly seemed to take the form of buildings, streetlights, and benches. The sounds all combined together to make the familiar noises of the night. Crickets chirping, a slight breeze passing through every now and then. When the suddenly appearing senses finally found their place, Luan and I stood on a street in Ponyville. There was no difference in the geography of the place. All the buildings were where they were meant to be, streetlights at the correct intervals. Strictly speaking, you could barely tell the difference from the real Ponyville and this dream version.

Except for all the odd lights.

When my gaze traveled over to one of the nearby houses, I saw a strange dull light emitting from the window. The light was shaded dark purple, and pulsed in a seemingly random rhythm.

I stared at the light, and asked Luna, “Hey, where are we?”

“Ponyville,” she responded. “Or at least the dream version of it. When a community goes to sleep, the magical energies that the dreams emit create a landscape that the dreamers are familiar with. It is a way for somepony like myself, and you now, can identify where you are in relation to your dream, or somepony else’s.”

I nodded. “And that light in there?”

She looked in the house. “That is how one identifies a type of dream. There have never been a specific color code to reference, given that colors mean different things to different ponies, but whatever that color represents in the dreamer’s mind is what kind of dream they have.”

“Oh,” I said in understanding. “So, say that the color of my dream was blue. To some people, the color blue means sadness, but to me it might mean calm, and that difference would be what separate my calm dream from that person’s sad dream.”

“Indeed,” she agreed. “And we are going to go into one of the dreams tonight.”

I nodded my head. “Cool beans. Which one?”

She looked at me, and pursed her lips. “Why don’t you decide?”

I blinked, but then started to look around for any dreams that I might want to hop into. There were a lot of houses on the street, and I imagine that looking around off this street would provide me with more to choose from. A cascade of all kinds of colors emitted from every house in view. Greens, blues, purples, reds, and oranges, just to name a few. I could see Bon-Bon’s house, were a dual lighting of pink and maroon blended together, one of those colors being Lyra’s, Bon-Bon’s roommate.

I pursed my lips, and thought of an idea.

“Hey, Luna,” I said, getting her attention. “Is this Ponyville built exactly like the real one?”

She nodded. “To the tee. Any pony that has ever slept anywhere in this town sent out magic that built the dreamscape.”

I nodded. “Good. There’s someone I want to see.”
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Signal Flare had taken up residence in Ponyville in a modest little house about a block away from mine. It was a simple building. Two stories, small yard, and a tree in the front. When you thought of ‘urban standard’ this was the house that came to mind. Not a big place, but not an apartment like mine. Granted, I have a five-star club in my building, and every square inch of my apartment is high class.

The light that emitted from Flare’s house was a bright yellow light. The lighting seemed to dance lightly on whatever it touched, as though powered by some kind of endless mirth. IF I had to guess, I’d say Flare was having a very good dream.

Luna stood next to me, in Flare’s front yard. “The Ponyville regional commander? you wish to see her dreams?”

I shrugged. “Why not? Despite the fact that I like to mess with her head, I don’t have any ill will against her. She can be a bit callous, but she’s not a bad person. Plus, I want to see if there is anything that I can find to fuck with her some more.”

Luna shook her head. “You truly are insufferable.”

I smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes. “Well, if we are to enter her dream, then we must find the fabric of her dream, and create an opening for us to enter in.”

“Just like with getting out of my dream?”

“Similar,” she allowed. “But we will not be stripping the senses away, merely finding the border between the dream Ponyville, and the Commander’s dream.”

“Ah,” I said. “Want me to try?”

She bowed her head a little, and stepped back to watch me.

I took a breath, and squinted my eyes. I sent out my magical senses to try and feel for the dream’s barrier. The ambient air around us was filled with magical energies that fluctuated and changed in time to the beat of their source, the dreamers. When my senses got closer to Flare’s house, the presence of the energy increased. In a wall of magic, the barrier that separated Flare’s dream from the dreamscape was a thick blockade. When I tried to make an entrance for Luna and I, the barrier seemed to harden with the more pressure I put on it. The stronger the effort I made to get in, the more the dream-energy resisted to keep me out.

I furrowed my brow in concentration. If I couldn’t just go through the barrier, I would have to find some sort of weakness to exploit. When my search turned up nothing, that there were no loopholes to use, I had to do something that I normally only did in the most dire of situations.

I used my brain.

The more pressure I put on the barrier, the more it rejected me. So, I would have to find a way to gently push through the wall.

I sent my senses back out at the barrier, but this time, I did it slowly. I made sure to move my power as softly as I could manage. When I finally hit the barrier, there was a small amount of resistance, then the barrier slowly started to open up. As eager as that made me, I had to make sure I didn’t go any faster. So, I held in my enthusiasm, and continued to slowly push forward.

Finally, I pushed all the way through the barrier, and made a hole that Luna and I could go through.

I brought my senses back to myself, and looked at my handiwork. Where the door that lead into Flare’s house had been, now stood a tear in the dreamscape that lead into a black void.

I turned to look at Luna, and smiled, showing teeth. “There. That good?”

She walked up next to me, and said,”Indeed, I think you did well.”

I beamed at her, and bowed theatrically.

“I aim,” I said, dramatically. “To please.”

She giggled. “There are things that you must know before we enter another’s dream.”

I straightened, and quirked an eyebrow.

“If we enter a dream, we cannot wake the dreamer up. If we did, then our minds would be stuck inside of their dreams until they fell asleep again. We can change the outcome of the dream, but not wake them. It would be inconvenient. Another thing to note, is that if you have an apparition as a part of the dream, then you take the role of the double. Finally, dreams are very illogical. Sometimes the slightest things can cause a happy dream to turn into a nightmare. Therefor, you must be careful with your actions.”

“Don’t wake ‘em up, you take the part of the dream you, assuming you’re in it, and be careful with what you do.” I nodded. “I gotcha.”

She looked at me, as if to see if I was taking her seriously. When my expression and manners didn’t change, she sighed and nodded. We then proceeded into Signal Flare’s dream.

Where, upon entrance, I was punched right in the face.

My life blows sometimes.

I Don't Want To Talk About It

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Pain is such an interesting thing. It’s an instinct level reaction to the sensory feedback that you get from things that your body doesn’t want you to be around. It’s a way for your brain to tell the body part in question to get the Hell away. When one experiences pain, it is merely your body warning you that you are in contact with something potentially dangerous.

The thing about pain, though, is that it’s all in the mind. You can’t feel pain if you don’t let yourself feel it. Well, okay, that isn’t entirely true. You still feel pain, but if you block out the pain, make it a low priority in your mind, then the pain will dull and you can carry on with a small ache playing in the background. It’s all about mind over matter, your Will over your impulses. You don’t feel extreme pain if you do not let yourself.

That being said, getting punched in the face hurts. Like, a lot.

Signal Flare, as it turns out, was no weakling. Her right hook came straight for my face, and it connected with what seemed to be the force of an oncoming train.Said force was enough to knock me right onto my ass, and slam my back against the wall behind me.

When her punch had connected, something inside my head seemed to flip a switch. It activated that part of the human mind that did well under pressure, and took control of your body, relying purely on instinct, and letting the rational part of the brain take a breather.

That part of my head kicked in, and before Flare’s follow-up kick could connect, I rolled out of the way, trying to find my footing as I did.

I couldn’t seem to get a grip on my feet, however, and Flare shifted to face me, and charged straight toward my chest, her hooves outstretched, her wings giving a single, powerful flap.

Time seemed to slow down, and it gave me time to take in a few details. Firstly, my attacker herself, Signal Flare.

She was out of her armour, and her white coat seemed to gleam with a small layer of sweat, as though she was in the middle of a mild workout (which made sense, considering). She had a few scruffed up spots, where someone had punched her, presumably the dream-me, and small patches of dirt covered her body.

What caught my attention the most, though, was her face. On her face was the single biggest smile I had ever seen on her. She looked as though she were experiencing a moment of pure and utter joy, the kind of joy that you feel when you are in a moment of utter perfection, where you know that a moment like that would never happen again. She appeared to be having the time of her life, and it was evident that it was at my expense. I would say ‘to each their own’, but when you take so much joy in someone else’s pain? That’s kinda fucked up. Especially if it’s me that’s in pain.

Around us was a simple gladiator-style of arena, with a dirt floor, iron-wrought gates on either end, and stone walls that lead up to the bleachers. In said bleachers were ponies of various shapes and sizes, of every color and hue. Near the far iron-gate, though, was a single booth, built a little out of the wall, as to make the view better for its occupants.

Inside the booth were the Royal Sisters, Celestia and Luna. Celestia sat there, as calm and regal as you please, a look of slight curiosity on her face, evidently wondering about the spectacle on the arena floor. Next to her, Luna sat there in a frozen moment of perfect shock, her face showing surprise. As it turned out, she hadn’t expected the nature of this dream either.

A hot flash of pain shot through my chest, as Flare’s hooves connected with my chest. The force of the impact push me farther back, my shoulder dragging against the stone wall, as instinctively curl around the area I was hit, trying to use the rest of my body as a shield.

An instinct nagged at me to move, and I pushed myself off the wall, just in time to get out of the way of Flare’s hooves as they came crashing down where my head had just been.

I scramble to my feet, trying to ignore the pain in my face and chest, and tried to get some distance between me and the joyously wrathful pony.

“Luna!” I yelled as I backed away from Flare. “What the fuck is happening?!”

The response came from the balcony where Luna sat. “I am unsure!” she yelled back. “I must suppose, though, that the Commander has a grudge against thee!” Her voice turned rye. “One can only guess as to why.”

I ducked under a flying charge from my pony attacker. “Jokes later, help now! How do we-”

I was cut off by a swift punch straight to my face (why is it always the face?). The force of the punch was so powerful that I got launched from about half-court, all the way into the wall, slamming into it with all the force of a car-wreck.

There was a white flash, and I was suddenly back in the Ponyville-dreamscape, lying on my back in front of Flare’s dream-home.

I blinked at my suddenly new surroundings, and propped my myself up onto my elbows. A second later, a tear formed in the air, and Luna stepped out of it.

“What the fuck…” I whispered. Luna looked down at me, and shrugged her shoulders.

“I am unaware of what just happened as well,” she said. “Perhaps it be best to naught tarry on the thought, and just move on.”

I slowly nodded agreement. “Yeah,” I said slowly. “Maybe you should pick where we go next. I seem to always get the weird stuff.”

Luna smiled. “Yes, I do believe that that would be wise. Come along then, Connor.”

I got up and followed Luna out into the dream-Ponyville. We walked for a while, passing homes that were colored with their own dull light, the indication of a dreamer.

Eventually, we stopped next to a house I didn’t recognise, where a heavy pink was being emitted from the windows.

“Who’s house is this?” I asked my companion.

Luna shrugged. “I am unaware. All I know is that whoever is having this dream must be feeling very strong emotions at the moment.”

I tilted my head at her. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged again. “It is merely something that I have picked up in my dreamwalks. The magical energy that the dreams emit is able to be felt, if you’re sensitive enough to feel for it.”

I made a sound of interest. “Sounds useful. Well, we might as well get on in there, yeah?”

Luna nodded her agreement. “For the sake of expediency, I think I shall open the way into the dream.”

She received no protest from me. She walked up to the house’s front door, where I knew the border of the dream would be, and I was immediatly reminded of just how much experience is more important than raw power.

Generally speaking, I have a lot of power. Practically speaking, I’m pretty sure that I have the most in the entire universe. But just because I have a lot of power, doesn’t mean I know how to use it. I still have a lot to learn, and Luna is a great example of just how much I have to go until I get to the big leagues.

I couldn’t even feel it when she grabbed hold of the fabric of the dream. Doing something like she was takes a lot of energy. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are, it’s just a simple fact that you need a lot of energy to manipulate the fabric of a reality, even a false one. When I did it earlier, I used a lot of energy, like I needed to. But I used it more like a slow battering ram. I used as much energy that I felt would be effective to impose my Will onto the fabric of Flare’s dream. When I did that, there was probably some left over energy, something that spilt over from my working, and into the ambient area.

Luna, however, did it much more gracefully than that. I couldn’t even tell that she had begun the process of tearing a hole in the fabric of the dream until I actively sought it out, and even then it was feint. All the energy she used was minimalistic, absolutely necessary, and none of it went to waste. If my tactic was a battering ram, then Luna’s was like a set of lockpicks. Subtle, quite, difficult to master, yet infinitely more versatile. This was a true example of skill over sheer power.

A second later, a tear in the fabric of the dreamscape opened, and Luna turned to me, gesturing with her wing for me to go in. I walked forward, stepped into the tear, and-

I don’t want to talk about what I saw in that dream, and frankly, I just want the entire experience gone from my memory. That was truly one of the most horrendous things I have ever seen, before or since. Suffice to say, I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to look at my hands the same way, thanks to a one Lyra Heartstrings.

I stepped back out of the tear in the dream, and saw Luna standing where I had last seen her, a look of worried curiosity on her face.

“Sir Connor?” she asked. “Does something trouble you?”

I shuddered as I remembered the dream I just witnessed. “I…” I began. Then I shook my head, and said, “I don’t want to talk about it. Lets just go somewhere more… lighthearted, please?”

Luna didn’t look satisfide with my answer, but she thankfully didn’t push. She simply nodded. “Does thou have any ideas as to where such a dream might exist?”

I stood there for a minute, trying to fight my way out of the shock, and come up with an idea of where I could go to not have nightmares for the rest of eternity. Then an idea struck me. Or more specifically, a pink envelope did.

I felt the papery rectangle hit me with a gust of wind, and the envelope clung to the side of my head.

I blinked, confused as to just how a random envelope would happen to be flying around.

I grabbed the thing from off my face and looked at the writing on the front. It read, “To: Connor, From: Pinkie.

I blinked again, still confused.

Luna stood off to my side, looking at the envelope along with me. She asked, “How did such a thing just appear?”

I looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it is incredibly difficult to create objects in the nexus, the dreamscape we are currently in. If Pinkamena was able to create this envelope and send it through the nexus, she must be an incredibly strong dreamer.”

I snorted. “Yeah, that’s just like her. Being able to do all these random things, just for the sake of plot convenience.”

Luna blinked at me. “What?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly, and opened the envelope.

Simply put, the thing was an invitation to Pinkie’s dream party. Apparently, even when Pinkie is asleep, she’s still throwin’ parties. I swear, that girl is going to work herself to death.

“Huh,” I said as I finished reading. “Seems like Pinkie knew we were traveling around the dreamscape-”

“Nexus,” Luna corrected me.

I gave her a look. “Around the nexus, and that we’re invited to some dream party of hers.” I scanned over the letter one last time, then looked at Luna and said, “I think we should go.”

Luna nodded, “I see no reason not to. Let us find where she resides.”

So, we walked in the direction of SugarCube Corner, and saw a bright pink light coming from Pinkie’s room (I knew which window it was, because I’ve been there).

“Who should open the way?” I asked, once we got to the front door.

Luna looked at the shop, then said, “I believe I should. Not only might I do it quicker, but there are multiple dreamers in this residence, and it can be difficult to distinguish dreams apart for someone new to the art.”

I nodded. “Go right ahead, then.”

She worked her magic, and a second or two later, a tear in the dreamsca- err, the nexus opened up. We stepped through, and were instantly greeted by bright lights and blaring music.

As one would expect from a Pinkie Pie dream, the entire room, one designed like her bedroom, was covered in bright colors, streamers, and any other sort of cheerful and light thing that you might expect. The odd thing about the dream, though, wasn’t the decorations of the room, but the room itself.

Pinkie’s room is a very modest one. A bed, some drawers, a mirror or two, and plenty of space. The dream version, on the other hand, was much larger than a simple bedroom. The far wall, from where Luna and I faced, was gone, and instead ran out to a garden-esque scene, not too dissimilar from the plaza at the centre of Ponyville. The sun shone brightly across the grass, and was reflected by the clear water of the fountain that was the centre piece. Lampposts connected to each other by bright streamers, tables spaced periodically around with food and drink, some even having party favors. Wandering around this bright garden were ponies that partook in any activity the party had to offer, such as apple-bobbing, pin-the-tail-on-the-pony, dancing, and any other such things that you might expect to see.

The party was in full swing, and there was something oddly alive about it all. Not to say that Pinkie’s parties are normally dull, but you’d expect to find a dream party to be a bit more automated, as though the party-goers were just very well-disguised robots programed to act like they enjoy the party. These ponies looked real. They moved more fluidly and with more intent than you would expect from a dream-made one. It was almost as though that these were real ponies, and they had all gotten together in Pinkie’s head for a party.

I furrowed my brow and looked over to Luna, who had a similar look of confusion. “Hey,” I said, grabbing her attention. “Is this what I think it is?”

“A large congregation of dreamers? Yes, I do believe it is.”

“Well, duh!” a cheerful voice said from our right.

We looked over to see Pinkie skipping her way over to us, in her usual fashion. “Of course all these ponies are actual dreamers! I can’t have a party without having actual guests, now can I?”

I looked at her blankly for a moment, then asked, “Pinkie, how did you do this? From what I understand, manipulating dreams, especially bringing other people into one, isn’t exactly easy.”

Pinkie gave me a theatrical look of exasperation, and said, “Silly, I sent them invitations!”

My brows knitted together. “What?”

“I sent them invitations! Everypony knows where I have my parties, and even if they didn’t, the card said so! So, when they got my invitations, they came here to have a party! I do it all the time, Connie, you know that!”

I just stared at her, not really sure how to take that explanation.

No, stop. I thought to myself. Just don’t think about it, and you’ll be fine.

I shook my head, and changed the subject. “So, you sent me an invitation. How did you know where to send it?”

Again, Pinkie confused me. “Silly goose, I put your name in it, and then put it in my mailbox!”

I gave her an even, frustrated stare. I was the spirit of disharmony and chaos, and yet I still make more sense than Pinkie does. How bent is that?

“You know what? Never mind.” I shook my head again. “I guess that I’ll go and just enjoy the party.”

I walked toward the open garden, leaving a smiling Pinkie and a confused Luna behind me.

The party was a pretty average one, by Pinkie Pie standards. That is, it was pretty cool, if a bit childish (by my standards, anyway). There were ponies all around doin’ their thing, hangin’ around and talkin’ with others. Some games were in progress, such as a bunch of kids playing tag, apple-bobbing, and other such games.

I, personally, just found a chair for me to hang around in, near a table, and just started to chill out. After about a minute of that, a voice from next to me said, “Well, long time no see, Connor.”

I looked over and saw that the pony sitting next to me was none other than Vinyl Scratch.

I hadn’t really seen Vinyl all that much recently. It wasn’t because we weren’t friends anymore, or anything like that. It was just because we always had something to do, and we couldn’t really hang out too often. I would either be busy with some random adventure that the Elements would get me into, or Vinyl would be out of town on tour. And when we both were in town, running my club, we would both be busy, Vinyl as DJ, and I as floor manager. The only times that we really had talked was when she had an issue with her equipment, and needed my help with it.

“Yeah,” I said back to her. “Been too long since we just chilled out and talked. How you doin’, Scratch?”

She nodded her head easily. “Pretty good, all things considered. Just got back from the Eastern Equestria tour, and crashed on my couch. Started havin’ a dream about some nachos, when some pink envelope showed up, and invited me to this party.”

“Wait,” I interrupted. “The envelope invited you? You didn’t actually read the thing?”

“Nope,” she said, and smiled. “It was pretty crazy seeing an envelope talk like that, but hey, I wasn’t about to stop the little dude.”

I nodded my head. “So, you decided to show up, yeah?”

She gave me a look. “Duh. Why not go to a party where you can get as crazy as you want, and then wake up in the morning feeling rested?”

“True enough,” I agreed.

She nodded her head. “Yeah, Pinkie’s parties are always a good time. But sometimes, they need a little help.”

I tilted my head at her. “Watcha mean?”

“I mean, sometimes Pinkie forgets that everyone isn’t as easily entertained by kiddy things as she is,” she said, and shrugged. “I ain’t tryin’ to diss her, or anything, but some of us here don’t want to play Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Pony.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”

She sharply turned her head to face me, and said, “Hey, you know what we should do?”

I quirked an eyebrow in question. “What?”

She smirked, and I could practically see the twinkle in her eye, under the shades. “We should go and help liven this party up.”

I looked around, a little uncertain. “I don’t know, Scratch. I mean, I’m all for takin’ this party up a notch, but don’t you think that might hurt Pinkie’s feelings, us takin’ over the entire party like that?”

She shook her head. “Nah, man. I’m sure see be completely cool with it.”

I looked around one last time, as though hoping for some last piece of advice on the subject. Then, I sighed, and said, “Oh, fine. But if we end up makin’ Pinkie cry, I’m blaming it all on you.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes, and said, “Yeah, okay, Connor. You do that. Now, come on! I’m pretty sure I saw a stage or something over this way.”

Then, she shot up out of her seat, and ran off in a random direction.

I huffed out a breath, and and followed after her.
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We found ourselves standing on a mini-stage (a stage that’s a stage, but is mobile), and looking out over the crowed, of whom have yet to realise that something is about to happen.

“Okay,” Vinyl began. “We have all the equipment that we might need. Speakers, turntables for me, a piano for you, mics for both of us, and all the other random stuff.”

“Mhmm,” I mumbled through a full mouth.

“All we need to do now is figure out what we’re going to perform,” she continued.

I mumbled my agreement again.

“So what do you think tha-” she turned to look at me, and paused. After a moment, she asked, “Are you eating pizza?”

I groaned in bliss at the taste of my food.

Vinyl’s brows furrowed. “Where did you even get pizza from? I didn’t see any on the way here.”

I gave her a sidelong look, and said, through a mouth full of cheesy goodness, “Found it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, hurry up and finish. We got something to do, if you’ll remember.”

I grunted, yet didn’t increase the speed at which I ate. After a few moments of bliss for me, and slowly waning patience for Vinyl, she finally said, “Dude! Hurry up!”

“I can’t just hurry when eating pizza!” I defended. “It’s too good to eat quickly! you got to savor it for as long as you can!” I took another bite, and mumbled, “And here I thought you would understand…”

Vinyl groaned at me. “Dude, it’s just pizza.”

I stared at her, shocked. “Just pizza?” I mumbled through a mouthful. “It isn’t ‘just pizza’. This stuff is the best tasting food on the planet It’s like a blowjob in food form!”

She gave me an even look, and her horn lit up with magic. A blue aura surrounded my pizza slice, and it was suddenly flung out of my hand and into the grass nearby.

I blinked, first at where the pizza landed, then at Vinyl.

“Well, that was rude.”

She snorted. “I’m sure you’ll get over it. Now, come on. We need to find a song to play.”

I huffed out a breath. “Fine,” I said, irritated that my holy fruit had been vandalized. After a moment, I came up with an idea, and snorted in amusement at the sheer prospect of it.

“What?” Vinyl asked, seeing that I was onto something.

I looked at all the equipment that we had, making sure that nothing was missing from what we’d need. “I’m looking to partake in a bit of irony.”

Vinyl cocked her head, and asked, “What do you mean?”

I told her.

She snorted in amusement too, saying, “Yeah, that is ironic. And definitely weird.”

I shrugged. “I’ve done weirder.”

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you have.” She looked around at all the things we had on the mini-stage. “Think we got everything we need?” She asked me.

“We got mics. The only other thing we need is a mixing table.” I shrugged. “Shouldn’t be too hard to get, considering that we’re in a dream.”

Vinyl blinked at that. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” She then turned her attention to an area on the stage where a mixing table would fix, and she closed her eyes. After a few moments of concentration, she let out her breath in in a labored sigh, and looked at the spot she was focused on, panting lightly. She then turned to me and asked, “Uh, think you could get it?”

I snorted, but did it for her. A moment later, and a mixing table appeared where there had been nothing. I looked back at Vinyl, and asked, “So, you ready.”

She looked offended at the question. “What kind of question is that? Of course I’m ready! I’m always ready!”

I rolled my eyes. “O, I’m sorry,” I said, heavy on the sarcasm. “How could I have forgotten who I was talking to? Of course you’re ready. Can you ever forgive me for my ignorant mistake?”

She eyed me. “No-one likes a smartass, Connor.”

“Are you kidding?” I asked. “Everyone loves a smartass, just so long as they aren’t being a smartass to them.”

She sighed. “It’s sad how true that is…”

I nodded. “Yeah. Hey, don’t we have a show to put on?”

Vinyl shook her head, drawing her attention back to the subject at hand. “Yeah. Let’s get to work.”

So, we did.
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A few minutes later, and we were standing in our positions on stage, with me on the front and centre mic, and Vinyl on the mixing table.

Ponies had started to notice that something different was happening, and had started to congregate near the stage. In the crowd, was Luna.

Seeing her standing there had reminded me of something: I wasn’t here to perform for these people. I was here to hang out with Luna. That little fact ran through my mind, and it made me rethink what I had planned for the show.

I pursed my lips as a new thought entered my head, and I turned toward Vinyl. “Hey, Scratch,” I said. “I think I wanna change the line-up of what we’re going to play.”

She quirked an eyebrow at me. “Seriously? You tell me this now? Right when we’re about to start?”

I winced. “Yeah, I know, bad timing, but I kinda feel that I need to do this alone, you know? I was suppose to hang out with Luna tonight, and I kinda just up and left her to hang with you. I feel that I owe it to her to at least have a song dedicated to her.”

Vinyl gave me an odd look. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were crushing on Luna, and trying to get her to like you.”

I shook my head quickly. “No, no. That’s not it. It’s just that me and her were hanging out before you and I were, and I think it’s just kinda rude to up and leave someone like I did. It’s kinda an apology, kinda not. You know what I mean?”

Vinyl nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean. You know what you’re going to do.”

I smiled at her. “Vinyl, honestly, I would have thought you would know me better than that. I don’t plan things. I merely have goals, and try to obtain those goals through the most interesting way that I can.”

She snorted. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Have fun, man, and good luck.” With that, she left her mixing table, and hopped off the stage.

I turned over to my mic, and moved it over to the piano, adjusting the stand so that I could sit and talk at the same time. Once that was done, I took a seat and cleared my throat into the mic, getting everyone’s attention.

“Good evening, ladies and gents!” I said to the crowd. “I hope you’ve all had a good dream this night?” The crowd cheered in response. I smiled, and said, “Good! Very good! Now, tonight I’m going to hijack control of this party from our gracious host, Pinkie Pie, and give you all a song. And this song is dedicated to my good friend, Luna.” I pointed her out in the crowd, and a spotlight shone onto her. She got an embarrassed flush to her face, and she sheepishly waved to the onlooking crowd.

I smiled. “Tonight, Luna came to my dream, and asked me to come with her in dream hopping, I guess you could call it. We went to other people’s dreams, and generally had an interesting time.” My smile faded. “But when we got to this dream, I kinda just left her to hang out with someone else. No warning, no real goodbye, nothing. I kinda just up and left, and that makes me feel bad.” My smile returned to my face. “So! I wanted to make it up to you, Luna, for just abandoning you, and give this song to you. It’s called Lost On The Moon.”

And I began to play into the night, where, afterwards, much merrymaking was had.

Oh, Yeah. I'm Back. (Non-Canon)

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It was a particularly stormy night in the Ponyville cemetery. The cloudy overcast covered the moon lit land in dark shadows, as rain slammed into the ground, creating puddles where ever the ground would allow.

The cemetery itself was always a depressing place, but recent events and the weather had added to the oppressive atmosphere. It being a place that housed ones forgotten dead, grave stones dotted the landscape in a systematic grid, each stone an equal distance from each other. Stone statues and headstones gleamed in the rain, and some of the inlaid metal letters and plaques glowed in combination of the rain and moonlight.

Paths stretched themselves throughout the grave yard, offering ways for any mourners. If one were to follow a particular path, they would find a relatively newly filled plot with a fresh headstone, unaltered by time. Freshly dug earth had yet to be recovered by grass, despite the ambient magic in the area. If one were to walk past this plot of land, they would know instantly that a new, poor soul was claimed by the cold grip of death.

The lack of grass, however, was not the interesting part about this particular plot of land. What was interesting was the simple headstone that jutted out from the ground.

The headstone was made from a dark black stone that seemed to absorb and light that touched it. As a stark opposite, the letters were made from a bright white, polished platinum, one that seemed to reflect any light that graced it. The two seemed to work in a perfect contrastic order. One absorbed the light, the other made it shine. It was a perfect example of opposites working together to make a balance. The stone drawing the light in, the letters making it shine even brighter. The letters read:

Here lies Connor Jason Hents. "Do not be afraid, for I shall be with you soon." He died as he lived, With a smile on his face.

Laid atop the dark stone, a pair of gold rimmed aviator sunglasses sat forlornly, waiting for their owner to take them up again.

To anyone who read the beautiful white letter, a strong sense of sadness would over come them. Anyone who knew anything about the now-buried man would tell you that he was a being of life and energy. He could make anyone in a room amused, if not outright smile. He had many friends, all of whom would mourn the loss of him. Connor was gone now, and the world was a darker and dimmer place for it.

In front of the headstone, there was a sudden shifting of earth, and a hand shot out of the ground. The hand felt around the immediate area in its reach, and found a weak spot in the dirt. It started to tear away at the ground, making the hole it just made even larger, until a second hand shot out of the dirt. Both hands were scrambling around, throwing dirt every which way, all in an effort to get out.

The hole finally became large enough, and a head popped out. The man's face was set in effort, as he planted both hands on the ground, grunted with effort, and pulled his torso out of the dirt. He then began to shuffle around, pulling his legs free.

The man was panting, leaning against the headstone, his ankles dangling in the hole he created. He pushed his short, white hair away from his forehead, and muttered, "Well, that was fun..." he climbed his way to his feet and brushed himself off, inspecting his clothes as he went.

"Huh," he whispered, still panting. "So that's what happens when I wear a suit..."

He looked off in the direction of Ponyville, took a step, and then stopped. He quickly slapped his head, muttered, "Duh," to himself, and turned around toward the headstone, reaching his hand out.

Where he grasped his sunglasses, and put them on.

He took a deep breath, exhaled, and said, "Oh, yeah. I'm back."