There's a bromide I've heard ponies say:
If you're chomping an apple a day,
All your problems'll just
Turn to ashes and dust!
Give a puff, and you'll blow 'em away!
It's a lie, but a small one, I guess.
Are there ponies who truly confess
They're expecting the fruit
To be magic to boot
And to save 'em from woe and distress?
'Cause it won't and it can't and it ain't.
It's an apple—which ain't a complaint.
I could squawk on for hours
'Bout the root, branch, and flowers
Till your eyeballs roll back and you faint.
Yes, I love unconditionally
Ev'ry apple up each sep'rate tree.
But I sure won't pretend
They're a tonic to mend
Broken bones, whooping cough, or ennui.
Eat an apple for sweetness and crunch,
For a savory end to your lunch.
But you think one or two
Will make wishes come true,
Disappointments'll flock by the bunch.
Just avoid losing sight of your goals
Is the thing, or you'll look like some foals
I could mention— Except
That's a secret I've kept
Since the month that I started my strolls.
***
I'm a working gal, see, and I thought
It was blasphemous I should get caught
Not engaged in my job
Like some gadabout slob.
Yeah, I fretted on that stuff a lot.
Till ol' Twilight showed up. Then I learned
What it means to have friends, and they turned
My whole life upside-down,
Made me smile 'steada frown,
Made me take the time off that I'd earned.
And the country 'round here's worth the time,
Worth a pony who really can rhyme.
Be it spring, summer, fall,
Winter: I love it all,
Love the way that my heart and soul chime
When I'm out in the hills and the dales
Where the land's filled with my family's tales
Like I'm breathing in life,
All its joy and its strife.
It's the wind that I need in my sails.
So I started to take little walks
After supper and winding the clocks.
Just an hour on my own—
But I'm never alone
In the comp'ny of trees, dirt, and rocks.
But a couple of months ago now,
As I wandered the fields after chow,
From a dusk-shrouded vale
Came the tiniest wail,
'Bout the softest a throat might allow.
***
And I tell you: that sure weren't a sound
That I cared to hear floating around.
So I pushed my way through
All the briars into
A display guaranteed to astound.
In the first place, the clearing inside
Had a hut tucked away so to hide
All these brushes and tools
And what looked like small pools
Fulla paint. "What's all this here?!" I cried.
'Cause the other thing boggled my mind
Was my sister with her whole behind
Sunk right into the paint!
"Oh, now, AJ, this ain't
What'cha think!" was what Apple Bloom whined.
"What I think?!" 'Cause I hadn't a clue
What my sister was trying to do.
"You just tell me unless
You've a mind that I guess!
And that ain't what'cha want, I'll tell you!"
Well, she stood, the paint starting to drip
Like the tears from her eyes. "Get a grip,"
I then started to say,
But my words puffed away
When I saw the mark there on her hip.
In the silence that followed, I stared
And I stared and I stared and I stared
At the sapling she wore
Braced and upright with four
Little stanchions, all perfectly paired.
***
"That's your cutie mark," somehow I said.
Apple Bloom kept on hanging her head.
"You've been hiding it?! Why?!
That's just nuts! You and I
Should be planning your party instead!"
Apple Bloom didn't holler or yell.
"But there's Scottaloo and Sweetie Belle.
'Cause without them along,
Any party'd be wrong."
Her eyes hardened. "Now swear you won't tell!"
"Are you crazy?!" I stomped my hoof down.
But she stomped hers right back with a frown:
"You will not tell this tale,
AJ! That's betrayal!
It's all three of us rise, or we drown!"
Well, that gal is an Apple, all right:
Us two argued and fought the whole night.
And she wouldn't step back
Nor retreat or change tack.
I was quietly proud in dawn's light.
So I swore how I'd not tell a soul,
And that broke her; she wept like a foal.
Then we hugged, she said, "Thanks,"
I helped cover her flanks,
And we left, keeping silent our goal.
Now, I'll ask: recollect at the start?
All the "apple a day" stuff? That part?
What I wanted to say
Was there's sometimes a way
You'll get caught 'tween your brain and your heart.
***
Sure, I stuck to the word of my ban,
But I started to form me a plan.
Watching Sweetie and Scoot
While out selling my fruit,
I kept track how they moved when they ran.
'Cause they skipped and they shied just a bit
'Round the back like they'd taken a hit—
Or were trying to hide
Something there on their side,
Using make-up they wouldn't admit.
Which is why Pinkie's up on the roof
Of the barn with a hose in her hoof.
Twilight's cast some weird spell
So you can't even tell
The whole town's here: not even a woof.
Them Crusaders is loud enough, though,
Laughing up from the road, and I know
Once they're dripping and see
They're together, all three,
Then the shouts will bank up like the snow.
And the party'll follow, you bet,
Like to nothing this town has seen yet.
One more instant—it's strange,
How their whole world will change:
No more foals though still squalling and wet...
It's an apple a day. That's the line.
Take a day at a time, you'll be fine.
And you'll soon realize
You've won life's sweetest prize—
Here we go: I'll give Pinkie the sign.
Yeesh!
I did not think AJ could go on for 30 limericks and over a thousand words! Yeesh, I say again!
Mike
I couldn't help myself... I read the whole thing aloud to myself... it was beautiful
I'll be honest, I was expecting a Bel-Air here.
I love this one! Limericks are hard, and you wrote a sweet little story with them, to boot. I love your take on the CMC's cutie mark reveals!
3501579
This comment:
Makes me very happy 'cause I read all my stuff aloud in character voices before I send it out just to make sure it flows right. Thank you!
3501778
Not at all sure:
What "Bel-Air" means in this context, but I'm glad you enjoyed the piece! I had to restart this one a couple times before I got it to work: AJ kept wanting to turn the whole thing into a meditation on the inevitability of death. Which, granted, would make an interesting set of limericks, but it wasn't anything I was willing to spend my time writing...
Mike
3502741
Why do you write your comments:
Like this?
3502834
I was asked this question:
Over on one of my other stories, too, so I'll repeat the answer here as well. I do it for two reasons, one of which, I've just recently realized, doesn't apply on this message board. See, when I was a wee sprat learning on a manual typewriter how to compose letters, we were told that a letter should begin with the salutation, something like "Dear Mr. Dazzle" followed by a colon. One would then work the carriage return twice, hit the "Tab" key and begin the body of the letter.
I kept the practice even when typewriters vanished from the natural world, but online, I usually don't know the actual name of the person I'm addressing. So I took to taking the first few words of whatever I was typing and using them as the salutation like I did with the words "I was asked this question" at the top of this.
But in all actuality, Fimfiction's board supplies a nice, green salutation-equivalent when you click the "reply" button on someone else's comment. Which means I could stop doing my silly little thing here if I wanted to.
The second reason I do it, though, has gotten more and more valid as I've gotten older and my stutter has gotten more pronounced. See, I also put that stutter-step at the beginning of my posts to replicate in some small way the slightly herky-jerky rhythm of my usual speech pattern.
That's all.
Mike
Well it was about Apples, so naturally I read it in AJ's voice. I loved this one, it's cute and funny and poetic all at once!
Not sure if I've given you one before, but even if I have you can still have another one.
A happy Pinkie Pie as a prize!
Edit: I checked and I haven't given you one yet. I am very ashamed of myself. So here's another one
3519591
Thanks!
I shall happily accept however many s you have to offer!
Mike
This needs to be what happens in the show.
3580348
If they do it in rhyme:
They can have the idea free of charge!
Mike
There's some collision between the vocabulary here and the character voice. It was hard for me to read this in Applejack's voice throughout. But for this line, which made me laugh out loud:
> Broken bones, whooping cough, or ennui
… you are forgiven that dissonance.
Even if the words don't feel consistently hers, the story itself is. Solid characterization. There's a few clever subversions ("And I stared and I stared and I stared"), and a thousand words of consistent rhymes is always impressive.
3618195
Thanks!
In my series of stories with "Romance" in the subtitles, I give Applejack a certain flair for words in order to create a contrast to Fluttershy's consistent inability to find the right word when she wants it. I think I must've carried that bit of characterization through to the limericks here...
Mike
3502741 He's refencing this.
Heh, I don't know why I forgot about this collection of pony poems, especially when I'd said I was looking forwards to AJ's contribution in particular!
So... thirty limericks that form a coherent, show-appropriate, character-fitting and overall sweet story? Awesome!
3761885
Thanks!
Being something of a hermit, I tend to miss pop. culture references...
3810784
Applejack wouldn't let me do any other kinda poem for her.
Mike
I'm seriously enjoying your poems.
Do you have a formal education in literature? I write songs/poetry as well, and they never come out sounding as refined as your work is.
Faved and Watched, you are a great poet sir.
4064930
Thanks!
I got my B.A. and M.A. in Latin & Greek Language & Lit'rature, so I learned the basics of poetry from the same sources that a lot of the early English poets did.
Mike
I ended up reading this poem again after your most recent one. I think that this one is still my favorite in this collection.
5158604
Thanks!
People are always talking about "sonnet cycles," but no one ever mentions limericks in the same way...
Mike
This was excellent.
EXCEPT WHERE YOU RHYME STARED WITH ST:D How many individual limericks comprise this?6923487
There's 30 of 'em:
Five groups of 6 limericks. Because every ding-dang story I write ends up being a five act play!
Mike
My goodness, that was amazing.
6932788
Thanks!
Looking at this collection recently, I realized that about limericks make up the bulk of the poems. And I'm entirely OK with that!
Mike