There's a bromide I've heard ponies say:
If you're chomping an apple a day,
All your problems'll just
Turn to ashes and dust!
Give a puff, and you'll blow 'em away!
It's a lie, but a small one, I guess.
Are there ponies who truly confess
They're expecting the fruit
To be magic to boot
And to save 'em from woe and distress?
'Cause it won't and it can't and it ain't.
It's an apple—which ain't a complaint.
I could squawk on for hours
'Bout the root, branch, and flowers
Till your eyeballs roll back and you faint.
Yes, I love unconditionally
Ev'ry apple up each sep'rate tree.
But I sure won't pretend
They're a tonic to mend
Broken bones, whooping cough, or ennui.
Eat an apple for sweetness and crunch,
For a savory end to your lunch.
But you think one or two
Will make wishes come true,
Disappointments'll flock by the bunch.
Just avoid losing sight of your goals
Is the thing, or you'll look like some foals
I could mention— Except
That's a secret I've kept
Since the month that I started my strolls.
***
I'm a working gal, see, and I thought
It was blasphemous I should get caught
Not engaged in my job
Like some gadabout slob.
Yeah, I fretted on that stuff a lot.
Till ol' Twilight showed up. Then I learned
What it means to have friends, and they turned
My whole life upside-down,
Made me smile 'steada frown,
Made me take the time off that I'd earned.
And the country 'round here's worth the time,
Worth a pony who really can rhyme.
Be it spring, summer, fall,
Winter: I love it all,
Love the way that my heart and soul chime
When I'm out in the hills and the dales
Where the land's filled with my family's tales
Like I'm breathing in life,
All its joy and its strife.
It's the wind that I need in my sails.
So I started to take little walks
After supper and winding the clocks.
Just an hour on my own—
But I'm never alone
In the comp'ny of trees, dirt, and rocks.
But a couple of months ago now,
As I wandered the fields after chow,
From a dusk-shrouded vale
Came the tiniest wail,
'Bout the softest a throat might allow.
***
And I tell you: that sure weren't a sound
That I cared to hear floating around.
So I pushed my way through
All the briars into
A display guaranteed to astound.
In the first place, the clearing inside
Had a hut tucked away so to hide
All these brushes and tools
And what looked like small pools
Fulla paint. "What's all this here?!" I cried.
'Cause the other thing boggled my mind
Was my sister with her whole behind
Sunk right into the paint!
"Oh, now, AJ, this ain't
What'cha think!" was what Apple Bloom whined.
"What I think?!" 'Cause I hadn't a clue
What my sister was trying to do.
"You just tell me unless
You've a mind that I guess!
And that ain't what'cha want, I'll tell you!"
Well, she stood, the paint starting to drip
Like the tears from her eyes. "Get a grip,"
I then started to say,
But my words puffed away
When I saw the mark there on her hip.
In the silence that followed, I stared
And I stared and I stared and I stared
At the sapling she wore
Braced and upright with four
Little stanchions, all perfectly paired.
***
"That's your cutie mark," somehow I said.
Apple Bloom kept on hanging her head.
"You've been hiding it?! Why?!
That's just nuts! You and I
Should be planning your party instead!"
Apple Bloom didn't holler or yell.
"But there's Scottaloo and Sweetie Belle.
'Cause without them along,
Any party'd be wrong."
Her eyes hardened. "Now swear you won't tell!"
"Are you crazy?!" I stomped my hoof down.
But she stomped hers right back with a frown:
"You will not tell this tale,
AJ! That's betrayal!
It's all three of us rise, or we drown!"
Well, that gal is an Apple, all right:
Us two argued and fought the whole night.
And she wouldn't step back
Nor retreat or change tack.
I was quietly proud in dawn's light.
So I swore how I'd not tell a soul,
And that broke her; she wept like a foal.
Then we hugged, she said, "Thanks,"
I helped cover her flanks,
And we left, keeping silent our goal.
Now, I'll ask: recollect at the start?
All the "apple a day" stuff? That part?
What I wanted to say
Was there's sometimes a way
You'll get caught 'tween your brain and your heart.
***
Sure, I stuck to the word of my ban,
But I started to form me a plan.
Watching Sweetie and Scoot
While out selling my fruit,
I kept track how they moved when they ran.
'Cause they skipped and they shied just a bit
'Round the back like they'd taken a hit—
Or were trying to hide
Something there on their side,
Using make-up they wouldn't admit.
Which is why Pinkie's up on the roof
Of the barn with a hose in her hoof.
Twilight's cast some weird spell
So you can't even tell
The whole town's here: not even a woof.
Them Crusaders is loud enough, though,
Laughing up from the road, and I know
Once they're dripping and see
They're together, all three,
Then the shouts will bank up like the snow.
And the party'll follow, you bet,
Like to nothing this town has seen yet.
One more instant—it's strange,
How their whole world will change:
No more foals though still squalling and wet...
It's an apple a day. That's the line.
Take a day at a time, you'll be fine.
And you'll soon realize
You've won life's sweetest prize—
Here we go: I'll give Pinkie the sign.