Ponyville & Other Poems

by AugieDog

21 - Bubbles (trochaic "fourteeners")

Why does "bubbles" rhyme with "troubles"
When it shouldn't 'cause they're not?
Should somepony take a trip and
Let them know in Canterlot
That they goofed it just a little
When they made the words we use?
Would a change or two be helpful
Or more likely to confuse?

Not that things will change, I'm certain:
Ev'ry time I've gone before
To address official leaders,
They just nod me out the door.
"Quite astute!" they say while grinning,
"We're completely unaware
That this even is a problem!
We'll investigate, we swear!"

But they don't as far as I know
'Cause the problems still remain:
Ponies still become all grouchy,
Call you clumsy or insane;
Little foals, alone and hungry,
Still will cry themselves to sleep;
Moths go crashing into lanterns;
Puddles sometimes get too deep.

All I want is that we fix it
When we see there's something wrong:
Let a sad or angry pony
Have some candy or a song;
Get some boots for insulation
And some glasses for the moths;
When it's cold or raining somewhere,
Pass out thicker saddlecloths.

And if words are acting wacky,
Let them know you've had enough.
Words can sting, but if you face them,
Then you'll see they're not so tough.
They're like foals: too fond of mischief,
Too rambunctious half the time.
Yes, they're darling and we love them,
But there's some that shouldn't rhyme!

Author's Note:

For Derpy's poem, I wanted to do something different, so it's all trochaic with the words accents falling on the odd-numbered syllables in each line instead of the usual iambic with its accents on the even-numbered syllables. It's also not technically fourteeners like we've had in a couple of the previous poems since each pair of lines has fifteen syllables.

Comments

[AugieDog]

Next up:

Another "chant royal," this time on the subject of being a princess.

Mike

[Lurks-no-More]

Oooh. That's an unique perspective (or should it be derpspective?) you gave to her.

[gamexpert1990]

So, I've had this collection of poetry in my "read later" and favorites list for a little while, but I never actually managed to get around to reading it. Until today, when I finally noticed that there was a new part posted.

I have now read each one here so far, and I can only give you my most sincere apologies for putting it off for so long. I feel ashamed of myself.

If I could ever get myself to create a piece of poetry half as good as the least of these, I would be very happy, indeed. You certainly have a gifted talent with words.

p.s. As I was in the middle of reading these, I wondered if you had managed to make one for Derpy. How oddly appropriate that it should be the newest addition that unwittingly managed to bring my attention this way.

[TheJediMasterEd]

Now this is delightful, with just a hint of melancholy, and I wish more of the writing ostensibly done for children nowadays were more like this.

[journcy]

Several times I found myself losing the rhythm of the poem and having to re-read a line to get back to it...but it was all the more satisfying for figuring out just how the words flowed. Derpy through and through!

[AugieDog]

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Thanks, folks!

I started thIs one as part of my process for writing "Foreigner," my currently-in-progress novel or novella or whatever it turns out to be. I'd never really thought about Derpy as a character, y'see, and I wasn't quite sure how I wanted to handle her. What came out in the poem is this sort of combination of seriousness and goofiness, and that's what became the core of the story.

As for the poem itself, I found working with trochees to be so off-putting, I went and wrote 95% of the next poem while I was still working on this one. 'Cause the next poem's in good ol' iambic pentameter, and even though it's got this wacky rhyme scheme where you're only allowed 5 rhyming sounds for a 60 line poem, it was still easier to do than try and get a buncha dang trochees to line up.

Mike

[paintom_phan]

Is there some reason why a fourteener written with fifteen-syllable line-pairs WOULDN'T be called a "fifteener?"

[AugieDog]

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No reason at all:

That I can think of. I'm pretty sure I've never come across the meter before, but yes, by Gum! Let's call it that! I mean, every tradition hasta start somewhere, right?

Mike

[PresentPerfect]

I'm cry ;_;

[PresentPerfect]

I did a thing.

[AugieDog]

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Thanks!

This is still the hardest one for me to read myself 'cause my mind's so used to iambs. I'm glad to have independent confirmation that I actually got the trochaic rhythm right.

Mike