Schoolhouse Shenanigans!

by Dragonborne Fox

Chaper VI- Phew!

"And you thought that was bad?!" Katie snorted in frustration, "That smell was horrendous!"

"Okay, everyone, quit fighting!" Anna yelled at the top of her lungs. "The foals are trying to sleep."

Katie sat on the couch with a pomf. "So....tired...." She murmured.

"Well, at least the dads of the foals will take them out of our hands shortly. That sure was unexpected." Natalie sighed in relief.

"Not to mention chaotic." Lance commented.

"My legs hurt now..." Matt complained.

"So does my head." Blake retorted.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy?" Nick asked.

"Yes?" Lance replied, confused.

"How did you meet Mommy?"

Lance froze in his tracks.

"Well?" Nick asked impatiently.

"M-Meet me in the....uh, whatchamacallit.... um... oh, yeah! Meet me in the study." Lance sighed with relief.

TIME SKIP!

Lance was sitting in front of the fire in a big recliner chair, reading a book titled Equestrian Technology and Human Advancement Thereof. Anna was sitting in a chair adjacent to the Nazi, also reading a book titled Forces of Nature: Equestrian Edition. The fire flickered silently, occasional cracks filling the room in unison with paper being turned as though said paper was but a feather. Neither seemed to notice nor mind the stillness of the room or its darkened corners at all.

The door to the study creaked open slowly, allowing a faint vein of light to pierce the darkness and making a bridge between the door and the fireplace. A lone shadow slimmed out over this bridge of light as the owner peeped in on the couple.

Lance put a bookmark in his book before he gingerly placed it on a side table to his immediate right. Anna did much the same with a table to her left. Both then leaned on the sides of their chairs and saw their little boy looking at them funny.

"There's a rolling chair to the side of the door, son. Come take a seat." Lance beckoned, motioning with his hand to point out the location of said rolling chair. Nick did as instructed and found himself seated in the formerly empty space between his parents' chairs.

"Lance, what did he ask this time?" The archer asked rather impatiently.

"How I met you." The Nazi bluntly replied.

Anna looked at Nick, who nodded in response.

"Whoo, what a toughie... Lance, you start."

_____

Almost a year had passed since this explosion, followed by a mist of some kind, wrecked the world beyond belief. Surviving humans were either killed by freak mutations created by this mist or were too busy arguing to even attempt to survive.

A man had been searching for supplies all this time, figuring he was the last of his kind. Given this, what point was there to search for others if you had the land--no, the whole world--to yourself? All the mutations needed to be purged, yes, but that was easier said than done. However, a few humans suddenly swore eternal loyalty to him and helped his ambitions greatly. With this, the man officially donned a Nazi-esque suit.

They built him a factory of greatest proportions, and in that factory they made a tank befittingly called the Valkyrie. With this, nothing would dare stop him.

Nothing. Of course, he was bound to leave in the tank soon, so he ordered his men into said tank after they built the Guardian.

~~~~

"What's this?!" The man shrieked in surprise as he replayed blurred images on his camera in the factory. A blond blur and a red blur repeatedly felled his machines. The Guardian was no exception.

"I shall make a new base, my men. And this time, I will wait for the infidels!" Bellowed the Nazi in a fit of rage.

~~~~~~

"I don't like the looks of this place... and what's with that fancy car?" Matt asked, jaw dropping and a finger pointed to the alleged car that had a gun attached to its top rectangle thing.

"I am not a car," Said a robotic voice from nowhere.

The mage and swordsman looked around before returning their glances to the...car that apparently had a mistaken identity. A hatch opened on its top, and out climbed a young man dressed like a Nazi.

"Out of the way nooblets, this area has been quarantined. Well, your lives are forfeit either way now that you've seen me. This world must be purged of all infidels." Said the Nazi man.

Matt's expression remained quite the same, and his finger was still pointing to the identity-crisis car. "Huh? Have we met before?? So, what's your plan--just trying to kill everything?" The swordsman asked.

Natalie sighed.

"It sickens me to see things the way they are," Sighed the Nazi in bitter disgust, "And only by destroying everything can the world be rebuilt." A contorted laugh came out of his mouth soon after, indicating he was some level of crazy.

"I don't like that." Matt hissed, readying the Anarchy, "We're gonna have to smash your tank, bro."

____

"No way! You tried destroying the world?!" Nick shrieked in utter shock. He had nearly fallen over in his chair from the looks of it.

"Yeah. And I got my butt kicked." Lance sighed in defeat.

"So, what happened next?" Nick asked, now excited despite the fact he really wanted to hit his dad upside the head with an iron skillet.

"Well..." Lance started with another sigh of defeat.

____

"So, is this the place?" Matt asked, glancing around and noticing chains leading him and the party onwards.

"Seems like." Natalie replied, lighting the dim cave with a Flare.

"I heard legends about this place. Something to do with an Akron or other." Lance chimed in a bleak tone of voice.

They found their target: a demonic form whose eyes were concealed with bandages, deep earthen horns jutting out straight to the heavens. Wings of the same color were chained around its dark-colored body and an unknown mass of the thing rested buried into the earth in which it slept. It seemed to be lifeless--no breathing, no movement, nothing indicating it had been alive at some point in time. As a matter of fact, it looked as if it had been dead for millennia.

The humans examined the creature. Had this been what they were searching for?

Matt lifted his sword ever so silently.

"Matt," Natalie started, "Don't do it. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Chillax, Natz," Matt sneered, "It can't be that bad." With that, he poked the end of his blade onto the thing...

...and the party found themselves screaming as Akron stirred awake and drained them of their powers. Soon, they were sent flying into the quickly-distorting sky and blacked out.

____

"So, Akwon--" Nick started.

"Akron," Anna corrected.

"Yeah, he drained us nearly dry." Lance sighed once more, sipping his tea.

"I guess it's my turn now." The archer chimed, and this was confirmed with a nod from her husband.

____

A green bush sat on top of a bed that had a covered form under its quilt. Scratch that, it was jumping on the form like it was on a trampoline. The form shifted for a few minutes before the covers and bush flew off the bed, revealing a green-haired teenager that looked like a trainwreck.

"What time is it...?" She groaned, rubbing her eyes on a robe sleeve.

The bush snatched a felled alarm clock off the floor and ran toward the woman, who took it and looked at the time.

Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw physically dropped.

"Oh no!" The woman shrieked as she threw the clock onto a wall, jumping out of bed and donning a brown leather dress. "I have to check to see if the Forest Ritual can be done today!"

Once she donned her bow and quiver, she took the bush and ran out the door and into the town of trees known as Greenwood Village. An elderly man with a tree-cane shambled his way to the woman, a look of despair on his face despite his Gandalf-like beard concealing half his expression.

"Anna, the Forest Jewel has been stolen!" The elder wailed.

"Huh?!" Anna shook her head in disbelief.

"I'm afraid it's true. I hope the legend of GodCat doesn't come to pass..." The elder cried.

"W-Who did it?!" Anna demanded in an aura of fury, making sure to keep her tone low enough to not scare the old man.

"I saw three young adults steal items and run off toward Ashwood." Answered the old man.

"I will find them and...!" Anna hissed as she ran to the Sacred Stump where, sure enough, the Forest Jewel was gone.

The archer, now fuming with fury, turned her glare to the old man once more. "What did the thieves look like?"

"One was blond with long hair, another wore a black suit, and the third wore a red dress," Answered the elder.

With this new information on hand, the archer ran into Ashwood in hopes of finding the thieves and bring them to justice.

On the way, she heard barking. A dog with a thick, creamy coat and medical pack wrapped around its neck greeted her.

"I don't have the time. Maybe later." Anna scoffed, walking past the dog.

The dog suddenly tackled her to the ground and began licking her face.

"H-Hey! T-that tickles!" Anna cried, trying to shove the doggy off. The dog stopped licking her face, whimpering and wagging its tail.

"Okay, you can come with me." Sighed the archer in defeat.

The dog got off of her and barked happily. When she sat up, the dog began licking her nose again.

"You're so cute." Anna sighed before remembering she needed to bring the thieves to justice. She stood up, readied her bow, and ran into Ashwood; the dog following her tracks.

____

"What happened after that?" Nick asked.

"Well, I met them and...after that, well... GodCat." Anna answered with a meek grin.

"And how did you meet Grandma?" The boy asked once more.

"Holy...." Lance gasped, eyes wide, "Well..."

TIME SKIP!

"So, she's not human?" The boy sighed.

"Nowhere near it unless appearance counts." The Nazi answered. "And don't call her an old hag unless you're me--in which case, unless I get cloned, is a no-go...but can be an alternative to those who want to get smacked upside the head at best."