Star-Crossed Dreamers
Rarity slammed the door shut behind her with magic as she entered her boutique in a fit. Her mane was disheveled, leaving what she would call an unsightly mess. The carefully crafted curls on her tail had lost their divine touch, leaving it a tangled mess. Masterfully applied mascara ran down her tear-stricken face as she ran to her room, not bothering to even greet her confused younger sister.
Rarity barely noticed Sweetie Belle as she ran through the front room. Hopefully the little filly would leave her alone until she composed herself. It would be best for her to assume her older sister had spent the night at Twilight’s like last time, when she had found herself stranded in the middle of a rainstorm. Maybe if she was lucky, Sweetie Belle would try to cheer her up with breakfast.
Rarity dashed into her room and jumped facedown on her bed, sobbing into her pillow. Every hindrance and conflict she claimed was ‘the worst possible thing’, but today was absolutely gut-wrenching. She hadn’t felt so worthless in her life, and all her repressed emotions were coming back to the refined and bottled-up mare as her tears soaked her pillow. Makeup ran down her muzzle and onto the bed, staining the pristine sheets. She dug her sore white hooves into the bed as waves of grief ran through her. Her day had started out absolutely horrid.
Yesterday was a normal day in Ponyville. Stitching dresses, playing with her friends, and foalsitting her sister was just another day for Rarity. Yesterday was the day to have her occasional drink for that week to unwind after her stressful work. It was all planned out from the start, a nice glass of pinot noir to relieve her stress and then a simple walk back home. She had been enjoying the drink, nearly ready to pay her tab and leave. Then he came.
A wonderful stallion. A polite stallion. A handsome stallion.
Perhaps if she had not chosen to drink last night at the local wine bar, nothing would have happened. Perhaps if she had stopped after the first glass. She could’ve stayed home and stitched more dresses. Maybe spend time with her dear sister. Bucking apples with Applejack would’ve been a better option, much to the chagrin of the refined mare. Even so, Rarity had not chosen to do so and thus went to her favorite bar, and a classy one at that.
He did what most stallions tried to do. He sat next to her, ordered the same drink. Carelessly threw his bits away and paid for Rarity’s. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to the attention; many a stallion had tried to bed the mare, but none had succeeded. Rarity was an unmarried lady of class, a pure maiden. Only her prince was to sweep her off her hooves and love unto her in a romantic tryst. A prince this stallion was not.
He was decent, Rarity had supposed. Simple, kind, nice. His words were many the same as others had said, but they carried the weight of sincerity. Sincerity was new to Rarity; shallow nothings were what she had expected. Rather than shoo the stallion away like an eager puppy hounding a foal, Rarity allowed him to bask in her presence and shower her with his complementing prose.
After some time, and a few drinks, Rarity dared to turn toward the stallion. For the first time that night, Rarity took in his appearance. Most stallions left before she gave them a single glance, but this one had braved the distance. His amber eyes contrasted greatly from a coat of cornflower blue, his mane of midnight. A mono color palette for the first stallion to garner her attention. How appropriate.
What was striking was his cutie mark. Rarity couldn’t help but sneak a peek as the stallion continued to speak to her, her attention encouraging him. The mark was four musical notes, eighth notes if Rarity recalled correctly. It explained his way with words, it was certainly his talent. The way they resonated in her very soul… it was much different than the magic that flowed through everypony when they sang. His was much more refined. Artistic was more appropriate.
Something stirred in Rarity’s chest as she purred with each word the stallion whispered to her, drowning out the muffled murmur of the bar’s guests. After her sixth drink, she couldn’t help but find herself leaning closer to the stallion. As a unicorn she was generally more attracted to her own race, particularly those of a more refined background, but something about this stallion struck her fancy.
Rarity giggled, a slight drunken blush taking form as she held her face in her hooves. She fancied this stallion! Rarity, a mare of high respect, fancying a normal Ponyville earth pony! Rainbow Dash would never let this one go. No, she would milk this for all its worth. The stallion, seeing a moment of opportunity, ceased his woven threads of spoken affection to converse.
“I’m glad you’re having a good time. Mind if I ask if you travel to this establishment commonly, or is this a rare occurrence?” he asked, probing the mare hopefully. Rarity stopped giggling and turned to face him again.
“I-” she hiccupped. “-do stop here from time to time. Unwinding is very important, even for a mare of my breed. I cannot simply work forever, even if it is my passion.”
“Passion...” the stallion muttered. Rarity nodded, fluttering her eyelids as she did so. “There are many passions to be had, from talent to life to destiny itself. However, the greatest is one that cannot be earned, but shared.”
Rarity gasped, waving herself with a hoof. “Shared? If it is so precious, how would one share it? Passion burns in a pony’s heart, but nopony can share their inner depths so.” Her mind sluggishly churned to follow his words as he continued.
“It burns, the greatest passion burns deeper than a dragon’s fire,” the stallion whispered to the now-leaning mare. Rarity had started the evening aloof, but was now enraptured by his words. “It can only be shared for it is not only a passion of expression and identity, but the passion of pleasure. Only a tryst could reveal such desires within ponies, and thus the fires of passion shall burn.”
Rarity nodded, finally understanding. “Indeed, it is the greatest passion. The most precious gift a maiden can give to her prince.”
The stallion mulled over her words carefully, seeking a dignified response. “Yes, a prince. Only a prince deserves the warmth of a lady of your stature. Miss Rarity,” he announced, finally using her name. “Will you allow me to be your prince, and you as my lady? Together we shall burn with the intensity of Celestia’s sun in the embrace that only lovers shall know, and Princess Luna shall bear witness to our union under the blanket of the night.”
Rarity was cognitive and perked up when she was called a lady, and decided to accept the stallion’s offer. She was too tipsy to understand the long-term ramifications of her decision, not realizing she was about to give away her virginity on a whim to a stranger, a romantic one at that. The two were to spend the night at his place, as to not disturb her sister, where they would commence to do the deed. Only until morning would she return from his embrace.
It was one of the worst mistakes she had ever made. He was the most well-spoken stallion she’d met at a first glance, but it was merely a mask. A mask hiding a much darker stallion. A stallion with desire that ran deep, a thirst that would never be quenched.
They had an agreement. Lines were made, boundaries were placed. She drunkenly remembered signing a contract.
Rarity never cried once, nor did she whine or whimper once the drunken fog had lifted. Her honor was on the line, and her will strong. It was completely consensual. She never uttered another word that night. Her emotions did not slip through until morning. The stoic shell held strong for the length it was needed. She followed through with her promise; nothing more, nothing less.
The stallion did not treat her like a princess like his words had promised over their drinks, nor did he act as a prince. He was not gentle. She was not swooned. She was deflowered, defiled, debased that night.
She was not his princess.
She had become his prisoner.
And she enjoyed it.
Which now left Rarity on her bed, sobbing as the memories of the night flooded through her mind. Once morning had came, as per their agreement, he had released her. Rarity, with all her self-control and dignity, had thanked him for the venture and trotted her way out of his home. Her hooves were sore beyond belief, but she held her head up high as she trotted away.
As soon as her first lover’s home was out of sight, she broke into a gallop as the tears began to flow and blur her vision. Nopony saw her, daybreak had only just come, but only shame weighed on her shoulders. She was a horrible pony, not one worthy being seen in public.
Rarity stifled a sob as she lifted her head from her scarlet sheets to stare at the open letter on her nightstand. The torn envelope and damp parchment was evidence of her recent stress from yesterday. Stress that had pushed her into the regrettable decision of last night. To her it was meaningless now, but sorrow still weighed on her heart.
Stupid Canterlot! Rarity thought as she screamed into her silk pillow. Despite all her success in the fashion industry, despite all her connections, despite all her ingenuity and raw effort, despite saving Equestria numerous times with her friends as an Element of Harmony… she was deemed unacceptable by the Canterlot elite.
It was a written apology, one that reeked of rejection. Rarity had tried to gain entrance to a party with many of Canterlot’s finest, a party that was sure to boost her career and raise herself higher in the ranks of the social ladder. It was the gateway to true fame, the bridge to her destiny. Only one thing held her back.
Blood.
The very thought brought a surge of anguish through the mare, her new stream of tears reflecting it. Only ponies of noble lineage could truly make it in her line of work. It didn’t matter what a pony has been through or what deeds she had accomplished; only blood mattered. Even being on a first-name basis with the Princess who raised the source of all life every morning didn’t matter to the Canterlot elite. If you weren’t one of them, you were never going to be. Few ponies rejected this mentality; Fancy Pants had been one of the few ponies to accept her for her talent rather than her lineage. However, Fancy Pants was a rare breed, an outlier in Canterlot. Nobility, as a whole, rejected her.
It was a harsh truth that had taken Rarity her entire life to accept.
Rarity’s mind raced as she sobbed, stopping only to linger on painful images and memory. Her talent... her life... no- her destiny itself had been a lie. She was not born to become a star, she was not born to burn bright in the night sky and illuminate the elite with her vision. No, her talent was beauty. Nothing but beauty. All Rarity could do was find rocks and make other ponies look pretty, but making a dress pretty with shiny stones would never do anything for her in the long run.
All her talent, all her dreams… she was born to be normal. Nothing but normal. She was born a commoner, and she was destined to die a commoner. Her thoughts began to turn to a more fortunate friend, but she shunned such thought. No need for spiteful jealousy for a friend, even if she was privileged. Privileged since birth. Privileged unto royalty. Some ponies were just born special.
Why not me? Rarity sniffed one last time before the fog of slumber shrouded her vision and engulfed her consciousness.
Why can’t I be special?
“You may rise,” Princess Celestia ordered the commoner as the single mother bowed to the ruling trio. The shaking mint mare slowly rose, holding her swaddled foal in her foreleg. She wore a traveler’s cloak, having journeyed from a small town to Canterlot on hoof. A lowly earth pony mare had braved the weather to face the three princesses with foal, and now she had the court to herself. Celestia maintained a calming presence as to not overwhelm the young mother.
“State your business to the court,” Princess Luna spoke, leading the session. A few nobles sat in attendance as several requests were either carried out or rejected.
The mare opened her mouth to squeak a reply. “M-my foal…” Her mouth slammed shut, her nerve ruining her chance to speak. One of the guards moved to escort her out to avoid wasting the Princess’ time, but a large white wing opened to stop him.
“Do not worry, you are safe here,” Princess Celestia reassured the mother. “You have journeyed far and have earned my favor. Ask anything from me, and I assure I will do anything in my power within reason to fulfill it.” She smiled, the warm gesture radiating with a comforting aura that calmed the mare down. As the shaking dissipated, Celestia couldn’t help but feel a tad smug. Being the avatar of the sun had its benefits.
The mare took in a deep breath before continuing. “Please, my foal.” She sat down and help up her foal, a mirror image of her except for the blonde mane and horn jutting out of its forehead. “Bless her!”
The court fell silent as Princess Celestia stared at the filly. Blessing was an ancient tradition, one she hadn’t performed for four hundred years. Her white hooves shuffled, surprised, as she searched for something to say. Her wings fluttered as she thought about how outdated the tradition was. Of course an earth pony would ask such a thing, but it remained a surprising sentiment. Celestia sighed. It was a rare request, but she was a princess of her word.
The nobles stiffened as they watched the solar princess rise from her high throne, eyeing the mare with narrowed eyes. The mint mother held her breath as her forelegs began to shake in fear as the white alicorn slowly stepped toward her. Celestia towered over the petite mare, examining the foal with much scrutiny.
Several moments passed before she uttered another word. “Name.”
“E-excuse m-m-me?” the mare stuttered, her spine shaking in blatant fear. Celestia closed her eyes and rolled them beneath her eyelids. She was well-known as a benevolent ruler, but somehow her subjects still feared her. It was fine for her subjects to fear her power, that kept them in line, but to fear the princess herself was a slight annoyance. She still had the heart of a pony, after all.
“Your child’s name. What is it?” Princess Celestia asked, honey coating her soothing words as the mare relaxed.
“Honey Dew, your majesty,” the mare answered with a nod. Celestia looked down at the filly and smiled at her, earning a giggle from the foal. The filly held out tiny stubs and wiggled her hooves, reaching for the alicorn.
One thousand years old and still her heart fluttered at the adorable sight. The mother gasped as her princess leaned down and nuzzled the squeaking filly. Maternal instincts never faded with age, not with a pony like Celestia.
The princess sighed. How she missed maternity all those years ago. Despite her stirred feelings, she had a matter to attend to.
Princess Celestia tilted her head until her long horn touched the very tip of the filly unicorn’s own stub. Her horn glowed with a strange orange glow. The ethereal glow of magic extended to the filly’s, causing her excited squeals to silence as she froze in place. A sun sigil glowed on her forehead, a mirror of Celestia’s cutie mark. Luminous light blinded the occupants in the room as Celestia spoke with a calm tone.
“Dear Honey Dew, may your destiny burn bright as the intensity of the sun yourself. Bear my blessing and honor thy princess.” With her words finished, Princess Celestia stepped back as the sigil on the filly faded. Her sister walked past and took her place.
Luna performed the same gesture as her sister. “May the light of the moon dispel your illusions and light your path, young one.” A more subtle midnight blue shined on the filly, quickly disappearing as the nobles regained their senses. Luna nodded toward the awestruck mother as she turned to rejoin her sister.
“Twilight, it is an old tradition but I’m sure you'll perform it perfectly,” Celestia reassured her favorite student as she turned toward the lavender alicorn. Or rather an empty space. “Uh, Twilight?”
“What is it dear sister?” Princess Luna whispered through the side of her muzzle, maintaining eye contact with the watchful crowd. Celestia regained her composure and whispered back.
“Our dear Twilight is missing. Where did she go?” It was only then did it occur to Celestia that she hadn’t seen Twilight at all during the royal court, or the entire morning for that matter. Princess Luna couldn’t help but roll her eyes. It was just like when she had been Twilight’s age. Playing hookie.
As if on cue, the castle doors burst open, revealing the princess in question. Princess Twilight galloped through the castle’s throne room, carrying a white box in her magenta telekinesis. She slid to a stop as she faced her mentor, panting. The mint mother and filly stared at her, nonplussed.
“Sorry for being late! Did I miss anything?” Twilight panted as she turned toward the nobles viewing her spectacle. She raised her head, searching through the crowd. Before Celestia could say anything, it appeared as if Twilight had found the pony she was searching for. “Ah, there you are! I got you the donuts!”
A striking white stallion with a dashing blonde mane strutted through the parting crowd of nobles. “Why thank you, dearest Twilight. The royal donuts are of utmost importance, as you now know,” Prince Blueblood greeted with a bow. Celestia hid it well from her subjects, but a scowl settled inside her mind. After the Gala, her nephew never ceased to shame her with his antics. Princess Luna couldn’t help but smirk. Watching her nephew goof off never ceased to amuse her, not since Twilight and Pinkie had taught her how to take joy in life and stop taking everything so seriously.
“No problem!” Twilight smiled at her adoptive cousin. “Anything for a friend!” The prince had begrudgingly learned his lesson from the Gala when Twilight had shown him how persuasive her magic can get. Ever since the incident with the mysterious mare with luscious gold locks running through the castle in a fearful fit, the prince had been miraculously cured of his snobbiness. Unfortunately his common sense wasn’t anymore lifted than Twilight’s, now shown as the two began munching donuts in the middle of the royal court. If anything had rubbed off Twilight onto her cousin, it was her Ponyville manners. The prince and his aunt now shared a certain insatiable love for pastries.
“Ahem,” Celestia coughed. The two ravenous royals looked up from their treat, eyeing the princess with confusion. “Would you mind-” one particular pastry caught her eye. Without a word her horn glowed and snatched the jelly donut. She quickly chewed and swallowed it before continuing. “-tending to court, please? We can forgive you for forgetting because you were out doing a good deed, but holding court is part of your royal duties, dearest Twilight.”
Twilight’s wings shot out in shock, pieces of chocolate dripping from her frozen jaw. “C-court? That was today? How did I forget?!” Celestia’s eyes widened as Twilight’s began glowing with radiant magenta energy as a few locks of hair popped out of place in her mane. Her wings began twitching in shock as the thought of failing her mentor crossed her mind. The distressed princess began muttering something about ‘magic kindergarten’ as she sniffed in shame.
“Twilight..?” Prince Blueblood gingerly nudged the crazed mare with his hoof. Without missing a beat he lifted his donut to his mouth and took another bite, watching his cousin sniffle. It took all of Celestia’s willpower not to facehoof at the sight. Princess Luna stifled a snicker with her hoof, grinning widely behind it. Twilight was adorable, yet frightful when stressed.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia roared, drawing the distressed mare to attention and out of her stupor. Twilight shook her head and bowed, fearful of her beloved mentor’s anger.
“Go home to Ponyville this instant and get some rest,” Celestia ordered, much more calmly. “The duties of a princess are taxing and it is obvious you have not been eased into it properly. Take the day off and recollect yourself.”
Twilight sniffed and nodded. With a glow and a pop! she was gone.
Celestia turned back to the confused mare and her filly. With a smile she apologized. “Sorry about my student, it’s only a few weeks after her coronation and she’s rather taxed with her studies lately.”
The mare nodded in understanding. Her husband had acted exactly the same after their child’s birth. Celestia tilted her head.
“So… can I hold her?”
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Spike said as he sat down on Twilight’s bedside. The mare had taken to hiding under her sheets, hugging her pillow for comfort. Her number one assistant was doing his best to cheer her up after her embarrassing deed in front of the Canterlot elite. “It sounds pretty funny, actually.”
“Funny?” Twilight shot out of her bedsheets to glare at her baby dragon. “What about embarrassing the royal court, myself, and most importantly the Princesses strikes you as funny?” She huffed angrily, her raspy breaths and pumping chest showcasing her stress. Her eyes were shimmering with tears and her muzzle was covered in snot. Spike felt she looked like she had failed a test.
“I… uh…” Spike searched for words to comfort his best friend. Reassurance… compliment… agreement… the right path to take was not clear so he opted for deflection. “It’s not your fault, really. Princess Celestia did say you weren’t eased into it, after all. It’s just going to take some time, Twilight.”
Twilight stopped sniffing as her ears shifted toward the dragon. A weak smile crept onto her tear stricken muzzle. “I guess you’re right. I can’t be the perfect princess overnight, after all.” Spike smiled back as she reached out and pulled him into a hug, complete with a loving nuzzle. Her wings shifted on her back, causing her to wince way from the embrace.
“Still not used to those things?” Spike asked, a tad smug. He was scoring several points in sensitivity today and Twilight was so going to owe him later. Maybe he’d finally win that date with Rarity. However, Twilight first and Rarity second. Even a baby dragon needs to keep his priorities straight.
Twilight sighed and shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to these.” She stretched her wings out for emphasis. The unkempt feathers stuck out in twenty different directions. Another sigh escaped her lips as she tucked them back in. Spike felt another wave of unease from his caretaker, prompting him to confront the elephant in the room.
“Twilight, do you even like being a princess?”
Twilight snapped her eyes to his, her eyes shining with tears.
“No, no I don’t.”
knock knock!
Twilight jerked her head from the depths of the book she was reading as somepony knocked on her door. She placed her bookmark inside its folds and carefully reshelved it before trotting to the door. With Spike’s help she had recovered from her grief and cleaned up. Tomorrow she would try again, this time with hopefully more success.
The young princess took a deep breath to collect herself and used her magic to open the door, revealing Applejack. The tangerine mare was holding a picnic basket in her mouth as she waited patiently for Twilight to gather her belongings, remembering their plans for that night. Twilight quickly packed her saddlebags and placed them on her sides before following Applejack outside.
Ponyville was silent, save for the quiet hoofsteps of numerous ponies walking toward the outskirts of the town. Night had fallen and the foals were asleep, allowing the adults to partake in an annual tradition. The foals in school heard about it in class, but never showed any interest like the adults had. Spike had declined Twilight's offer to join her that night, instead heading off to bed after Twilight's distressed episode.
Applejack walked silently beside Twilight, their coats occasionally brushing together, toward a hill outside town where several ponies had gathered. One particular spot hosted four of their best friends, each one passing the time in her own particular way.
Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie was currently dancing a strange jig on her hindlegs, making odd noises as Rainbow Dash watched and yawned on her low-hovering cloud. Fluttershy was humming a tune with a grey songbird who had stayed up with her to watch the night’s event. Rarity was merely staring at the stars, her face frozen in a mask of indifference.
Applejack trotted ahead, threw her straw basket on the ground and dug inside it. Using her mouth, she dragged out a blanket and placed it on the grass. Their friends stood up and moved onto it, as to not stain their coats for their prolonged viewing. Fluttershy bumped into Rarity, who had been staring into space, and turned her attention toward the blanket.
Once the other five got comfortable, Twilight began unpacking her saddlebags. With her magic she swiftly set up a small crystal telescope, a birthday gift from her brother. Due to the unusual properties of its build, it took the young alicorn several minutes to adjust it correctly to a functioning state. Once finished, she took a step back and admired her handiwork.
“Quite the interesting contraption. I take it’s magically augmented?” a male voice asked from behind.
Twilight turned around as she spoke. “Yes, of course. It’s imported from the Crystal Emp- Discord?” She choked on her sentence as the draconequus in question rubbed his bony chin, examining the fine telescope. “What are you doing here?”
Discord shrugged. “Same as you. Watching stars with my dear Fluttershy.” He leaned over to the purring pegasus and ruffled her pink mane. Fluttershy tried to shy away, but barely hid her content smile underneath her unrevealing mane. Discord turned his attention back to Twilight. “However, it is a nice piece you have there. Crystals and chaos have always been close, you see. Fractals and all that jazz.”
“Thanks...?”
Twilight began to stare through her telescope, examining each star in the sky that appeared. Of course she couldn’t use it during the meteor shower, but it was something to pass the time with. Interestingly enough, Applejack had approached her and requested a turn stargazing, which Twilight gladly obliged.
The other mares took turns stargazing through the magical telescope and were struck by the luminous beauty of the stars. Fluttershy declined, purring as Discord petted her. Rarity abstained. Fluttershy was currently in bliss; Rarity preferred to stargaze herself without aid.
The hour passed pleasantly without incident. Many ponies talked amongst themselves in hushed whispers, enjoying their time together. Couples cuddled and whispered sweet nothings in each other’s ears, occasionally rubbing their muzzles together affectionately. A few rowdy teenagers began a skirmish, but pegasi from the weather team quickly defused the conflict.
Everypony fell silent when the first meteor streaked across the moonlit sky. Hushed whispers spread as the second, third, and eventually fourth blazed through and illuminated the dark land. Even Discord ceased his endless jokes to Fluttershy when the shower began to quicken its pace.
Dozens of bright streaks shone and sparkled across the night sky, causing the audience to widen their eyes in awe to take in the heavenly light. Frozen in amazement, nearly an hour passed before the first pony got up to leave.
Signaling the end of the meteor shower, ponies left and right began to uproot themselves and leave for town. Stallions packed up their belongings, mares cleaned up after themselves, and the older teenagers raced home on ground and in the air. The crowd slowly dispersed, leaving only Twilight and her five friends (and Discord).
“Welp, I’m all tuckered out. I’ll see y’all in the morning,” Applejack yawned as she turned tail and trotted home. She took her basket, but left the blanket with her friends. Pinkie Pie grudgingly followed suit, her mane losing some of its volume as she muttered about having work in the morning. The pink fluffy mare forgot to bring snacks, leaving a very tuckered out party pony.
Dash’s cloud merely floated upward as careless snores emanated from it. Fluttershy smiled as she watched her foalhood friend float away into the night.
Discord and Fluttershy remained with the two unicorns, a slight distance away from them now that the company between them had left. Fluttershy moved to get up and approach them, but Discord stopped her with his paw, gesturing her to be quiet. Fluttershy looked up, confused, but Discord merely pointed toward the sky with a claw.
As the last meteor disappeared, the sky abruptly burst into a synthetic dawn as another celestial body shot through. It was long-lived compared to the meteors and rivaled the sun in intensity.
“A-amazing…” Fluttershy whispered in surprise. “A shooting star!”
Discord smiled and said, “make a wish, dear Fluttershy.” His best friend smiled with her butter lips.
Twilight leaned against her telescope with a wistful smile. She adored logic and rarely believed in superstition (Pinkie Sense being the exception; that had turned out to be some outlandish scientific fact. Twilight still didn’t understand it.), but for some reason her lips moved and uttered a small prayer. Unbeknownst to each other, Rarity had followed suit.
“I just want to be normal.”
“I wish I was special.”
The two mares hardly noticed the other had spoken, but Discord and Fluttershy exchanged concerned glances as the starlight faded. An exchange of raised eyebrows, frowns, and other various facial expressions took place in under a minute. Fluttershy moved to comfort her friend, but Discord pushed her down again.
“Nuh uh. You didn’t make a wish.”
Fluttershy smiled and peeked out of her mane with wistful shining blue eyes. “I just want my friends to be happy.”
Discord smiled, raising his paw as he did so.
“Your wish is my command.”
snap!
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Okay... a very strong start.
You've got my interest. It's been a minute since I've seen a strong RariTwi story. Now let's see if you can keep it.
Shouldn't be too hard. I believe in you.
Very good, can't wait for next chapter.
Hey Flint, you should really advertise the story a bit more. A story of this quality deserves to have way more views than you have.
3190178
Well, I tried. Let the haters come flooding in
3190061
I can guarantee I will give this story 120% of everything I have. RareTwi is my OTP and they are my favorite ponies. If I fail this story, I have failed them and I do not deserve to be on this site anymore.
That's how determined I am.
I will not fail.
*Cears throat....*
"...."
static2.fjcdn.com/comments/I+don+t+understand+how+getting+a+tattoo+is+entertaining+_82574953779817921c7a0294e66bd9d4.jpg
O snap stuff's going to go down
I feel bad for saying this, but this is the first of your work I've read.
Color me fucking impressed.
Very good, only error i can spot is "wreaking" when i think you meant "reeking" :) Looking forward to reading more!
DAMN YOU FLINT AND YOUR ABILITY TO GET FEATURED!
Prejudiced much? It seems a little contradictory that Rarity would feel this way about other subspecies of ponies while being as torn up as she is about being rejected by Canterlotian high society. She's upset that they judge one's worth by lineage, yet she has a preference for species, albeit to a lesser extent. I would say poor Rarity is getting an overdose of her own medicine.
The scene in which Spike demonstrated his commitment to the most important person in his life was sweet, but the following passage did to my optimism what missing the top step would do to my stomach. Why the hell are all six of his friends enjoying a picnic and meteor shower without him? It wasn't a girls-only outing, but a community gathering, yet there was no explanation for his absence.
I also recommend you fix this:
It's always nice to see him acknowledged and treated like an actual character in any Twarity fic, but his irritating absenteeism leads me to think he's going to be kept out of sight like some inconsequential minor character until his presence is required to move the plot forward.
Good thing Spike's Unexpected Growth Spurt updated today. I need something to take my good mood back up.
3190160 Tell me about it. I cannot wait to hear their excuse for leaving Twilight's closest friend behind.
3192296
I have two points, which may or may not show up later. First, she was drunk. People aren't always nice when they're drunk. Good point though. It is a little contradictory, but the fact she actually slept with him shows it's not that big of a deal. Nothing wrong with having a preference.
As for Spike, he is still a baby dragon: he sleeps a lot. I suppose I should have mentioned that... I did mention the foals, but I should have clarified that included Spike as well. I can guarantee that Spike will be prevalent in the story as an actual character, not just a plot device so Rarity and Twilight can fall in love guilt-free (like so so many fics). He just went to bed early. Besides, I love Spike. He'll get love, no worries.
Thanks for the fix, I appreciate it!
3192361 The thing is, Spike hasn't been referred to as a "baby dragon" since season one, and it was only ever a substitute for lack of a specific age-definitive term. Furthermore, he only ever had a sleeping issue in one episode, and that was only for plot convenience. In Winter Wrap-Up, he stayed awake for well over twenty-four hours, working. If this is how you prefer to write him, that's fine, but I think you're just de-aging him for your own plot convenience. [this is where I would insert a shrugging emoticon if this site had one]
3192436
Touche. I never said it was a sleeping problem, I just didn't write him in that particular scene. I haven't written much of him yet, so I think it's a little unfair you think I'm going to de-age him. On the contrary, I intend to do the opposite. He's matured immensely over the run of the show and I intend to honor that, not make him a walking deus ex machina. He deserves better than that.
However, I like that you're already critiquing these elements. Even if I thought about certain aspects already, you given me even more to ponder.
3190990 Oh damn he did!
GOGOGO!
So, I shall apparently take a break in the middle of judging your contest entry fic, in order to read a story that looks like it might have started as another entry for the same contest.
...Flintception?
Okay. I feel like I very much missed out on something.
Are there other fics that were required reading?
What horrific thing happened to Blueblood to provoke an absolute, complete personality 180? Being pranked seems less than satisfying as a reason. He's not even recognizable as the same person. And why is Fluttershy a cat (or purring, at least)? And I'm completely unsure if Rarity had a drunken fling with that guy, or signed some faustian bargain for her soul.
So, basically, confusion all around.
That being said, the ending of the chapter was a pretty badass cliffhanger. And a great way to use a reformed Discord to drive a story in unpleasant directions.
3193801
A very, very horrible thing happened to Blueblood. Something traumatizing, but acceptable. It will be addressed directly, probably in a chapter or two. You'll probably love it. While the personality change seems... drastic, keep in mind two things:
One: Twilight has a higher status than him and isn't courting him, so he's less likely to act like an entitled ass (also because he can't whine to her for anything he wants, since she doesn't have power over everything like Auntie Tia).
Two: To be fair, I hate Blueblood, but in the Gala episode he expected Rarity to do everything she expected him to do (but in a much ruder way. She wanted chivalry, he wanted her to kiss the ground he walked on). In this story he's more of a dumbass than a plain ass. Twilight is practically the princess of friendship, so it's not completely implausible to teach him a couple manners.
Fluttershy isn't a cat
then again, Discord is Discord. Admit it, you'd pet a pony too given the chance. I know I would
I don't want to go into details because spoilers, but adults sometimes sign contracts before going down and dirty to avoid a legal mess. Wooing a drunken lady is a very, very bad thing to do. Don't do it.
Thank you for the comment, by the way. I liked the cliffhanger. If you think about it... Discord granted three wishes.
Wait... the RariTwi contest? That's the one you're talking about, right?
3194236
The Writer's Group one.
You seem to love contests!
It might be fun to pet a pony. But I'd probably freak out if they started purring.
After The Best Night Ever the bar for Blueblood redemption is set high. He really is an ass, and people don't change easily, or drastically, in a short term without a huge shock. It's not that I don't think Twi can do it, given the time. It just seems like a huge change in a short period. Unless one were to explain that the whole thing at the Gala was very unlike him. And Blueblood is actually nothing like what we think. Maybe he just hates pretty mares chasing him for his crown, and makes them suffer a bit more than he should.
Getting a drunken lady to sign a contract for consent isn't exactly much better. 'Look. She was too drunk to consent. But she drunkenly provided this written consent! Please forgive the scrawled hornwriting and vomit stains.'
3194264
(And one of TWG prompts were a wishing stone, I believe. Discord doesn't count, but it seems close now that I think about it. I only sent one entry to TWG)
I do! I saw opportunities to begin writing RariTwi fics, so... why not?
I loved that fic. Coincidentally, you've hit the nail on the head. Trust me, it was a BIG shock. Besides, Twilight isn't chasing him for his crown so he's not going to treat her like a gold digger. Plus, they ARE cousins now (sort of). Since Cadence is Celestia's adopted niece and she married Shining Armor... So to Blueblood, Twilight is family and royalty which puts her on equal ground with him.
She can't prove she was drunk
Unfortunately, victims of this kind of trickery don't always report it in real life... a sad fact, but Rarity isn't going to suddenly bounce back like nothing happened. Psychology my friend. 
Interest levels have been peaked!
*Clicks Favorite*
assets.diylol.com/hfs/882/bee/194/resized/waiting-game-meme-generator-and-now-the-waiting-game-07fc04.PNG?1343280655.jpg
3194278 I don't think I've ever felt so bad for Rarity before. My friend would kill you if he read this.
3195268
Her wings hurt! 
You don't feel bad for poor Twilight?
3195348 Pfft. Shes fine. A quick little preen and she'll be good. She didn't lose her virginity
3195353
Look mate, Rarity is my favorite pony.
Sometimes the greatest writing hurts the writer the most
3195365 Believe me, I am aware!
3195372
However, I'm curious. What do YOU want to see from this fic?
3195383 I don't even know. More gentleman Discord honestly, but that's all I can think of.
3195388
Huh, you're the first to say that
Gentleman Discord?
3195399 Would there be another way to describe a man of his caliber?
3195405
Most people settle with hilarious or entertaining, but I suppose you are correct.
Here's a mustache
3195409 My hope is I'll portray him in a similar light.
And when Discord says hello to Sombra, oh boy....
3195419
I don't know if that's going to end tragically or hilariously
3195440 Sombra and Discord absolutely hate each other, so when Discord sees Sombra trapped in Shining's crystal prison, he milks it.
There's a lot more exposition to that, but I've said enough, and don't want to sully your comment section to one of your more famous fics with it.
3195461
Pft, it's fine. PM if you're in the mood for conversation. Besides, I won't consider this story 'famous' unless it was on TvTropes or something.
Though your story now intrigues me...
You sir, are incredible. This story is beautiful!
hehehe~ this shall be fun.
As per my attempts to be an active reader, here are my thoughts on what I read.
Your grammar and technique are good. The actual act of reading the story was fluid, requiring little effort on my part.
I spotted a number of elements that I'm sure will be used to good effect in establishing the conflict within the story, most notably, Rarity's denial by the Canterlot elite.
However, the entire 'court' scene did not sit well with me, enough so that I stopped after it.
First, there is the 'blessing'. As it is presented it should get it's own entire story. Think about what the 'nobles' reaction to that would be? The next day every pony would be lining the streets to get a blessing from the princesses. Giving it to one means that they would have to give it to all. The problems this would cause are immense.
Second, Celestia failing to notice Twilight's absence. More that she spoke to empty air than that she simply hadn't noticed before. It is reasonable for Celestia to not notice the absence, but a ruler with over a thousand years of experience would not make the gaff of speaking to a pony she isn't used to having at her side at all times. Now, a secretary or adviser who is missing, sure.
Third, Twilight herself. Yes, Twilight is neurotic at times, but by this point in the show she has a handle on it far better than what you portray. Then the doughnuts... Twilight is not Pinkie Pie, she has a sense of decorum and isn't so blind as to miss the room full of ponies surrounding her. When Celestia is present Twilight is always on her best behavior, even when they are alone.
Finally, Celestia dismissing Twilight. What? That was terribly done and completely out of character for Celestia. No, just, no. Celestia has been shown to always have time to speak with Twilight when something is wrong. At the very least she would have pulled her aside to speak privately.
I apologize if this seems in any way unkind or otherwise hurtful, that is not my intent.
Good luck with your future endeavors.
-Honey Mead
3198643
Regardless of my thoughts, your judgment is fair and to be accepted with much thought. This is my first serious story here and I'm trying to do my best. I will make mistakes here and there, but all I can do is try and try again. Thanks for giving me something to think about as I continue.
I have a couple justifications I would make, but... eh. Nobody can get characterization perfect. I have never ever written Celestia before, nor have I read too much fanfiction of her. Fortunately she's not the main character(s) otherwise I'd be in a lot of trouble. I'll take that criticism in mind whenever she shows up again and make sure she's absolutely perfect. I apologize that didn't sit well with you. As for Twilight's absence, I'd assume that the Princesses have some sort of shifts. Twilight wouldn't be present the entire time because she's still young and inexperience and has 'princess studies' to do during the day. Luna was there, but she's the Princess of the Night so it's obvious she won't spend the entire day at court. I can't explain everything from the get-go (because pacing, that's why), but I WILL touch on how exactly three princesses share the same court.
lunachan.net/site/src/134049179995.png
As for the blessing, I suppose that is going to be a big deal. That'd make an excellent plot point, wouldn't it? Celestia just couldn't say no to such an adorable filly, could she? In fact... thank you. I might have to use that.
As for Twilight, some of things you've mentioned I'd touch on later. I just hope it's not crippling right now... She's my second favorite pony, so I understand her a little bit, but not nearly as much as Rarity. I guess I accidentally wrote a 'Lesson Zero' moment. Personally if I was stressed and hated my job I'd get donuts too.
My rebuttal:
She forgot the ponies there were for court and was looking for the prince. Twilight CAN forget things (*cough* lesson zero*). I assume the castle is bustling with business for the entire day unless the Princesses empty the main hall. This is my interpretation and it's not that unreasonable, considering that many monarchs in Earth's history never had any alone time since the moment they woke up (yes, I have done my research).
3198693
My point about her absences was more focused on how Celestia wouldn't yet be used to having her there, it would be much more likely that she would forget Twilight's presence than her absence. For instance, after Luna gives her blessing Celestia tries to shoo the mare away only for Twilight to step forward and catch Celestia off guard.
(I wouldn't expect you to explain how the court 'shifts' works unless it was paramount to the story.)
As to the last point...
This shows that Twilight already knows she is late and is surrounded by nobles. Whipping out a box of doughnuts and going to town is not something a perpetually on edge pony like Twilight would do. Though if I'm completely honest, I find the idea that she would be late for court odd. It would fit much more with her personality that she is there an hour early having forgone sleep to be there and then Celestia forcing vacation time on her because she is overworking herself.
-Honey Mead
I believe that this story, regardless of the small mistake when Twilight knew she was late and ended up forgetting about the courting, is going to be a great one. I got to the end of this first chapter and almost punched my computer because i was wanting to read more of it. Flint Sparks, I think you are doing an outstanding job for your first serious story. Keep writing more because i believe that this story is going to go a long way with getting a lot of views and likes. Excellent job.
3198762
Well thank you for your criticism. I can use your input to avoid these silly mistakes in the future. I might rewrite this chapter later, but I should probably focus on continuing it.. Seriously though, thank you. I really appreciate someone pointing out holes in my story. I'm not perfect, but I will only improve as long as there are people like you knocking me off my high horse (no pun intended).
Hm, I guess I should have made it clear who she was talking to....
As for Celestia, I suppose you have a point. Maybe, maybe not.
Twilight forgot a friendship letter one week, just pointing it out. She can forget something related to the princess at times, and if that happens she gets really stressed out
ponyvillegazette.com/files/2011/10/my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic_2x03_lesson_zero_08_crazy_twilight_sparkle-1024x576.jpg
3198819
Thank you! 
Note to self: never make a wish around Discord
3202919
Are you kidding?! That's the best time to make a wish
.
3190295
Nice chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next.
I like were tings goes. Fave and likes.
I haven't read a word of this yet, but it sounds AMAZING
OMG! Faaaaaannnnnntastic!!
Rarity agrees indeed; darling! 
More??
You favourite my story, I favourite yours!
It's all just one gigantic, unending circlejerk.
But seriously though I really like the premise, I'm fairly certain as to where this is going as I'm sure many others are too.
Anything with Rarity and I'll come running, and when it's Rarity Shipping? You must know what I like.
So great job mate, can't wait for the next chapter
3229267
Suffice to say, you don't see it often.
*rubs hands together, chuckling*
Oh, sure. Everyone can see where it's going now. Oh boy, I'm super hesitant to do what I'm about to do.
Certainly looking forward to updates. This should be an interesting ride.
I'm not sure why you would have Rarity lose her virginity to a one night stand on the brink of this story—unless it becomes really important later. Indeed, the whole notion of virginity and its loss as presented here is clearly patriarchal in nature, and certainly not something I would expect in a society that seems very much matriarchal. Rarity losing control (among other things) seems out of character, and if the point was to make her miserable, I would think the declined invitation should have more than enough, as it effectively hems (heh) her in, socially. I hope I'm not reading too much into it, for surely slut-shaming (internalized or not) is not your aim here?
The nature of nobility (if it exists) in Equestria is a thorny one. I'm certainly willing to accept it as existing as a remnant of older times. Additionally, it seems clear that there at the very least is a bourgeois or parvenu class, e.g., ponies like Filthy Rich or the Oranges, that would take to a talent like Rarity. In a world where Canterlot is dominated by nobles, Rarity should probably set her sights on Manehattan instead.
The notion of the blessing was a good one, and the scene at court unfolded beautiful, at least until Twilight arrived. That did push my suspense of disbelief pretty hard. She could just have been late, and completely frazzled over that, without having to drag doughnuts and Blueblood into it. Unless Twilight is of noble birth (my personal head canon maintains she is—babysat by a princess, a royal protégé, and her brother captain of the Royal Guard? Come on!), the nobles would already hate her for having ascended, much more so than any commoner. Twilight is not used to being disliked, and the rancor of the court nobles should be enough to throw her off.
Discord was unexpected, but welcome. I presume that he will have a pivotal role in the tale, being of assistance to somepony who is probably about to lose her wings
All in all, I like where this is going, I have a few concerns, but I will certainly be following your updates. Rarilight is a wonderful combination.
3242147
I'm still working on the next chapter, but I do want to address something. No, I am not slut-shaming. I would never do that. Ever.
I might have unconscious bias toward other people just like anyone else, but I would never stoop that low. I might roll my eyes at people who wear their pants low and say things like, "Hashtag Yolo!" but I'd never, ever go that low.
tl;dr: Slut-shaming is bad. Period.