A Game of Survival
by Minimin22
Chapter 1
The calm before the storm
***
Spike could not believe his eyes! There, right in front of him, was an Ice Sapphire! One of the rarest gems in existence and also one of the tastiest. It's unrivaled glimmer was something for the eyes to long for, as was it's beautiful star-shaped appearance.
"Spike~!"
The temptation was too much! He just had to have one bite of that delicious rock whatever the cost! He felt his arms stretch out, his hands desperate for it's touch.
"Spike~?"
His hands edged closer and closer, ready to close around the delectable treat. He knew it was his, and he sealed the deal by firmly grabbing it--
***
Pain.
Lots and lots of pain.
The gem had disappeared with a poof and left in it's place were the silouette of a pegasus. One he surely remembered from somewhere.
"SPIKE! What's the big idea, huh?!"
Spike's eyes had just adjusted to the bright daylight when he was met snout to snout with the angry mare.
"You fall asleep during my awesome stunt show and then try to cop a feel?!" she blazed.
Looking into her fiery magenta eyes he finally realized who she was. "Ruh- Rainbow Dash?"
Yes, the mare he knew as Rainbow Dash. Half a year had passed since the event at the library and even though that ended the way it did, their friendship had continued to grow ever so much. He didn't have much time to reminisce however, as the mare in front of him seemed quite upset about something.
"Rainbow Dash? No, it's Fluttershy~ Of course it's me!" she said sarcastically, "Now you better explain yourself!"
Spike blinked a few times. "Uhh... come again?"
Rainbow wore a look of disbelief. "WHAT? I'm talking about how you just flung your claws out and grabbed my..." she heard herself trail off. Unable to finish the sentence with words she instead finished with a huff and crossed her hooves across her chest, her face wearing a shade similar to her eyes.
Spike didn't know exactly what was going on but he knew he had to apologize. For something.
"Uh... sorry RD. I don't know what happened there." he said genuinely, "I guess I'm a bit tired."
Rainbow floated over and took a seat next to the exhausted dragon.
"You know, you won't be able to admire the awesome pegasus that is Rainbow Dash," she puffed out her chest, "if you keep napping all the time."
"If I keep napping all the time? Let's just say I learned from the best." he muttered, gesturing to her. Sometimes Spike couldn't believe the size of her ego.
Rainbow was about to retort when she realized she couldn't, so she settled for asking him something instead. "What's gotten you so drowsy anyway?"
"You know Twilight?" Spike continued to mutter.
Rainbow brought her hoof to her chin and took a quick glance at the dragon. "You know, I might have heard that name somewhere..."
Said dragon just fixed her with a glare that let her know he was in no mood for goofing off. "She was up early preparing for that slumber party you guys are having tonight."
"Oh?"
"It was 3 AM."
"Oh!"
"I was forced to help her."
"Oh..."
"Yeah, she was quite panicky, not to mention way to early to..." Spike managed to say before a huge yawn made all the following words incomprehensible.
Rainbow got a puzzled look and shifted her body to face the sleepy dragon. "But... why are you not in bed then?"
Spike gave her a tired smile. "Because you said you had some new awesome flying techniques to show me. You looked so excited too, how could I say no?"
Huh. I must be really caught up with myself sometimes... and this guy...he just kept trucking on. I can't believe he could be so selfless. Rainbow felt familiar feelings resurface but she did what she always did and shoved them back into the vault. Regaining her composture she decided to change subject. "Um, about that slumber party..."
Spike tilted his head as if to say, "What about it?"
Rainbow knew she couldn't survive another slumber party with the girls by herself. Twilight had had several over the course of her time in Ponyville, and each became more and more 'girly' and cliché. Spike would usually spend the night elsewhere to avoid the event and she wished she could do the same. Rainbow didn't know what would happen this time, but what she did know was that it was going to be the end of her unless she persuaded somepony to keep her company.
Yes, rather... somedragon.
"Actually... do you mind sticking around for that?"
Spike's eyes shot open, any trace of him being tired went away in an instant. "M-me? At the s-slumber party?" he stuttered.
"Yeah, you seem like the kind of guy that can liven things up a bit."
The color seemed to drain from Spike's face the more he thought about 'sticking around' for the slumber party. For a few moments he was completely silent, but not before too long did he respond again.
"N-no! Nonononono! Absolutely not! Never!" he shouted.
"What? Why?"
"Because..." Spike began, trying to think of a reason before deciding the answer would still be, "No!"
"Please? I need to have some other input than that of 5 mares talking about stallions all night!" Rainbow begged, shuddering at the thought.
"Still no!" Spike repeated stubbornly.
"Can't you do it... for a friend? Friendship is magic remember?" Rainbow tried, giving Spike her most innocent look.
"In this case I believe," Spike pointed his index finger at her, "Friendship is Death!"
It was around here Rainbow started to feel downcast. He was so strongly refusing to help her out that it made her feel... strange. Was it because it was her? Before letting her mind delve deeper into all these questions that bombarded her, she managed to stop herself. It was ridiculous, why did she even care?
Meanwhile Spike had recovered from his grand objection and was now quietly observing Rainbow. She looked so disappointed, sad even. He wondered why she reacted so strongly, but figured it was something he could worry about some other time. Right now he had to fix this.
"Look... I'm sorry." Spike began, letting out a weak chuckle.
Rainbow looked up again. "It's okay. If you really hate it so much you don't have to. I'll manage." she muttered, her sadness now grazed with a sour aftertaste.
It was going to take everything Spike had to say what he was about to say. Everything in him screamed at him not to say it, to remember, but he knew he had to.
"I... I'll be there."
Why does this have 2 downvotes?
3067250
I wish they'd comment so knew why
Thanks for commenting and easing my stress though.
YES! more Spikedash!
Burp
3067265 Two Flutterdash fans, I bet.
Bah, who cares about he downvotes. Got my upvote and it shall be an awesome story. Carry on!
I can see where the downvotes were coming from. The pacing feels a little fast for what is essentially a 'slice-of-life' scene, there's a couple issues with grammar here and there (missing commas, using numbers instead of spelling them out, really small things compared to a lot of other fics on here really), you beat the reader over the head that Dash has feelings for Spike but doesn't want to deal with them (I just read the prequel, so while it doesn't happen here, reading that one then this just makes me feel like every few sentences it gets mentioned) and it's shipping (which, unless they're all not online usually gets a few insta-downvotes by people who hate shipping).
That said, it's a good premise (Dash inviting Spike to the slumber parties to help lessen the girliness is actually something I haven't seen before as a premise, a part of a larger story, yes, but not the starting point), I didn't catch anything wrong with the spelling (then again, I wasn't looking for it), the characters are pretty much spot on and I can see this going places.
I look forward to seeing the rest of this story.
Minor typo:
The first "to" should be "too".
3067691
I'd bet that at least 1 of the 2 downvotes is due to some jerk that just auto-downvoted this for no reason.
Great story though, I just came across "Covers" yesterday, and I loved it. Looking forward to updates on this.
You can do it spike (all night long! ) shut up deadpool!
3067691
You pointed out mostly everything I expected, although I was a bit surprised by the whack-on-the-head with Dash's feelings. I felt the one in the prequel was too weak, so I tried making it clearer this time. Although... establishing her feelings twice is a little much considering the length of this chapter I guess.
Thanks for your time, I'll try to keep it all in mind.
3067838
Hmm... yesss~... that particular typo is not meant to be one. Spike's sentence is cut off by his yawning so you can't hear what he says.
---
I guess those downvotes doesn't bother me too much anymore. It was just that, when it got two in a matter of minutes after it being uploaded, I freaked out a bit. I know a few users that were so overwhelmed by negative critique/flames and downvotes that they left the site. Really, nothing can compare to the amount of stress I get from this.
I'll probably get over it. I don't curl up into a ball on the living room floor anymore after all
3070171
Oh, sure, it isn't supposed to make perfect sense given his half-sleep-talking, but considering the two words sound exactly the same, I'd think he said the one that makes sense in that context...
Dear Minimin.
Bravissimo good Sir SpiDash lives on. I can't wait for your next chapter.
Yours Truly Thecakedevil.
Amazing, i know i will love this story!
SpikeDash is awesome.
Seems short. Needs more cowbell.
Damn these mares all getting there way.
I'm curious to see how your going to let Twilight agree to have Spike at the slumber party. But from this chapter, it sounds like his been to one before.
So... Good luck and let's see how this goes.
that's a favourite for you sir
You have good points and bad points. Your main strength is dialogue, but when you begin describing feelings, it isn't much description and more telling than showing. And you kinda repeat yourself in some of that too or don't make sense. I will now use an example and sound very mean, but remember, it is an attempt to show you what I think you could do better:
"It was around here Rainbow started to feel downcast." (First, "It was around here? Boring, useless sentence. And the rest is telling, not showing.) "He was so strongly refusing to help her out that it made her feel... strange. Was it because it was her? Would it have been different if Rarity had asked? Before letting her mind delve deeper into all these questions that bombarded her, she managed to stop herself. It was ridiculous, why did she even care?" (So strongly? Odd wording, I suggest either "so strongly against helping her out" or "He was so adamant on refusing to help her and it made..." Also, it sounds like too much, with "questions bombarding her" and making her feel "strange". You should work on describing her feelings. She also, for someone who apparently haven't quite realised her growing crush, jumps too quickly to "Was it because it was her? Would it have been different if Rarity had asked?" These kind of thoughts need to be more subtle if you ask me, but this is just a huge flashing neon sign." At least remove the "was it because it was her?" Just have her have the random thought "Would it have been different if Rarity had asked?", that is plenty hint.
Meanwhile Spike had recovered from his grand objection and was now quietly observing Rainbow. She looked so sad, almost disappointed." (First off, this is just weird. She should at the very least look disappointed, almost sad", because disappointment is the first thing you'd feel if someone refuses you. Also, saying she just looks sad is a prime example of telling, not showing. Try to describe it instead of just saying that Spike can see her feelings.) He wondered why she reacted so strongly, but figured it was something he could worry about some other time. Right now he had to fix this." (I suggest rewording the "wondered", it's a little much. Maybe the simpler "She was taking it pretty hard, but he figured he could worry about the why of that later. Right now...")
All in all, that whole thing has three problems. One, a couple of boring wordings. Two, telling, not showing. Three, it's too much. She goes so much into overdrive that she sounds like she's had a confession or proposal rejected, not like she's had her unconscious crush reject her suggestion of staying for the slumber party.
So what I think you need to work on is description (and keep it short, avoid purple prose) and dial down the emotions a bit, we are not in a farce or an opera. Work on subtlety.
Your opening here was great though, it's when you even get near mushy and romance here that you kinda drop the ball. But this fic should give you plenty of practice with that, particularly if I keep hounding you.
Rainbow Dash, you do realize slumber parties are the gender specific kind right? SPIKE IS OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER & CANNOT ATTEND THAT! That's correct right? I've actually never been or had a slumber party.
"Friendship is Death."
Guys like me and spike should not be going to girls slumber parties it's been in the book
The 3 AM thing is child abuse.
Roll credits
Fuuuuuuuuck yooooooooou Dash.
Kidding. I heart the Dash.
Still, that's crass. In a very meta sense.