Not worth it
Chapter 3
Not worth it
***
"NO!"
Of course Rainbow refused to let Rarity give her a makeover, no matter how much her friends approved of it. There was no way she was going to let anypony touch her mane for something so trivial as 'looking good,' no, not now, not ever.
"Darling, please! You must let me fix it!" Rarity pleaded.
Watching the ongoing scene, the other ponies sat stunned, no one daring to intercept. Spike on the other hand, sat comfortably in his chair grinning like a madpony.
"You will be absolutely gorgeous when I'm done! Wouldn't that be nice?" Rarity continued to pester, looking for a way to convince the grumpy pegasus.
"Ugh! I told you, I don't want to be 'gorgeous!' I'm fine the way I am!" Rainbow retorted, standing up as if to prove her point. Rarity was about to continue her assault but was cut of by a certain drake.
"Besides, it's not like she can do 'gorgeous' anyway." he interjected, looking nonchalantly at the back of his hand.
"Yeah! It's not like I can... do..." Rainbow began before realization struck her. Whipping her head around to face Spike, she said outraged, "Wait, what did you say?!"
An especially fun thing Spike had learned from hanging out with Rainbow was that she could be very hot-tempered, and therefore easy to tease. All that he needed to do now was to flick the first domino tile.
Standing up from his seat he faced the mare head on. "I said: You can not do 'gorgeous!'"
"Is that a challenge?" Rainbow worded slowly, squinting her eyes at the dragon. In response Spike rose an eyebrow, his smile still hiding his true intentions from her.
"What if it is?"
"Oh, you're on!" Rainbow stomped her hoof down. "Rarity!"
"Yes, dear?" Rarity answered expectantly.
"Give me..." she gulped, "...the makeover."
Rarity's face lit up. "Of course, Rainbow Dash! You won't regret this decision ever!" she said, barely containing her excitement.
"I have a feeling I will." Rainbow mumbled, letting out a sigh.
Almost prancing in place, Rarity twirled around and skipped over to her mountain of bags, picking out several makeup-cases and brushes. "Pinkie, Fluttershy? Could you help me over here please?"
Pinkie and Fluttershy shared an enthusiastic look, left their mattresses and walked over to Rarity. Well, Pinkie skipped of course.
The room then fell silent, with exception from the mumbling and giggling from the three mares over at the messy pile of bags. Applejack and Twilight each exchanged looks and chuckled lightly at the turn of events.
Spike observed the scene for awhile, but soon found it uninteresting and turned to see how Rainbow was faring. Her eyes were wide open, looking forward blankly, and her mouth hung open slightly. It was like she had a hard time believing that she really agreed to something like this.
His observations were cut short, since Rarity and the girls were done with preperations and were now making their way towards them.
"Okay, Rainbow Dash! Just sit down on your mattress, we'll take care of everything!" Rarity ordered. Rainbow did as she was told and soon enough the operation was in full swing.
***
"And then I said: Oatmeal, are you crazy?"
"Um, Pinkie? We've heard that story already."
Sitting huddled around Rainbow were Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy and Pinkie were on brushing duty, coat and mane respectively, while Rarity herself took the makeup part, her ability to use magic greatly increasing precision. The patient, Rainbow, was trying her best to not scream. Not that the makeover felt bad, just that there were so many knots in her mane that it hurt to brush it out. After a few minutes she felt her mane get straightened out, so she could finally relax a little.
"So, Rainbow Dash?" Rarity opened conversation.
"Hm?"
"I'm quite surprised you'd go through all this to impress Spike."
"WHAT?!" Rainbow blurted out, shocked.
Rarity didn't look the least fazed with her outburst. "Why, I've always tried to have you styled before, but you've always declined profusely. Then little Spikey-Wikey comes along and you do it in a heartbeat." she explained with a smile. "And please close your eyes dear. I can't curl your eyelashes if you stare at me like that."
Closing her eyes, Rainbow had now been rendered speechless. She had never thought that it could've been looked at that way. She, Rainbow Dash, doing this all to impress Spike? No way. Just... no way!
"But, didn't you hear what he said? He questioned my ability to be good-looking! My pride is on the line here!" she tried to explain.
"Oh, yes he did, but you've never cared about someone implying that before." Fluttershy countered. "Some stallions on the weather team have teased you about it, I've heard." Immediately realizing how forward she had been, she quickly hid behind her mane. "Um... I'm sorry, was that okay?"
"B-but, those guys don't know me! I don't care about what they think!"
"But you do care about what Spikey thinks!" Pinkie said matter-of-factly, still brushing out the last strands of hair.
Groaning in frustration, Rainbow crossed her forehooves over her chest. "Ugh! Can you guys just drop it, and focus?! I'm getting a makeover for Pete's sake!"
"I'm sorry, dear. We won't tease you any more." Rarity said reluctantly, feeling the situation get out of hoof.
Rainbow accepted the apology with a grunt, still a little sour that she had gotten cornered about something like this. Especially since it wasn't true.
Meanwhile, Spike, Twilight and Applejack were doing nothing in particular. Twilight was checking 'Slumber 101' again to plan ahead, while Applejack and Spike were just sitting around.
"Hey, Applejack?" Spike said, peeking at the group of ponies over at Rainbow's mattress.
Said pony was lying on her back with her stetson down over her eyes. She didn't bother to look up and just answered, "Yeah, sugarcube?"
"Do you think I have a chance with Rarity?"
Sitting up and letting her hat fall off, she looked at Spike with a worried look. "Why do ya ask me that?"
"Because you're the most honest pony I know." Spike answered sincerely.
"Aww shucks, Spike. I'm flattered, but... Ah don't know a whole lot about love." Applejack admitted.
"I know," he began, not noticing the glare he got, "but I just need to get the viewpoint of somepony other than Twilight y'know?"
Applejack thought about it for a bit. She didn't know if this was going to hurt the little dragon, but she did know she couldn't lie. It would be a dead giveaway, considering her poor lying skills. So with that, she decided she would tell the truth, how she saw it at least.
"There's no way for me to know how Rarity feels about ya Spike, but if Ah have to guess... then Ah'm sorry but, Ah don't think so."
Spike took a moment to collect himself. "I... I probably knew that too. Besides these feelings, they've started to fade recently. I just wanted to know how it looked somewhat, before giving up."
"Y'know, you should probably tell her anyway." Applejack continued.
"No, I think she knows already. I feel like I can finally let this go now." Spike nodded, looking over to Rarity. "She probably spared my feelings this whole time. Truly the Element of Generosity."
Almost as if on que, Rarity exclaimed, "We're finished!" startling Spike a bit.
The group of ponies around Rainbow started to arrange their positions, making Pinkie and Fluttershy block out the view of Rainbow herself, while Rarity trotted off to the side, ready to present their work. Twilight put down 'Slumber 101' to join Applejack and Spike awaiting the revealing.
After everypony had settled down, Rarity spoke up. "Ahem! It was a hard operation, since we're not at a beauty saloon, but we're now proud to present:" Pinkie and Fluttershy moved away, revealing,
"The new Rainbow Dash!"
The sight they were presented with was almost blinding. The mare who trotted forward was, for the time it took to get ready, amazing. Not near perfect, but still, an incredible sight to behold. Her rainbow mane was flowing out to it's edges, slightly curled and perfectly gracing her cyan coat with it's many colours. Her eyes were more pronounced, their magenta hue completed with a lighter shade of eye shadow. Twilight and Applejack were stunned.
"You look amazing Rainbow!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Ah couldn't have pulled that off even if Ah had had all day. " Applejack nodded, nudging Spike.
Spike could do nothing but stare with his mouth wide open. His eyes were all over Rainbow, wondering how her new, refined style could complement her well-toned body and yet still manage to maintain the frisky look of an athletic mare. For a good minute he continued to ogle, making Rainbow start to shift uncomfortably.
"Uh... Spike?"
"W-who are you?!" Spike choked out.
All uneasiness gone, Rainbow smiled, mock-batting her eyelashes at the drake. "Not so cocky now are ya, dragon-boy?"
"I... I..." Spike stammered, clenching his fists and fighting a blush with sheer willpower. All that was left now was to admit defeat. He couldn't possibly deny it. Curses, this wasn't how this was supposed to go! I must save my dignity!
"Rainbow, you look..."
Rainbow's smile widened. The moment she had been waiting for was nigh. Another victory goes to Rainbow Dash, not only the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, but also the most...!
"...ok."
The room fell silent once again. All eyes were directed at Spike, who somehow had managed to make a full recovery, from a stuttering mess, to a casual cool guy in the blink of an eye. Amongst the ponies responsible for the makeover, one could hear Fluttershy mumbling, "Oh, my..." and Pinkie quietly wondering why she hadn't felt that doozy. Rarity was also looking on, slightly offended that her work had just been labeled 'ok.' That couldn't compare to what Rainbow felt though.
Offended? Yes. Shocked? Yes. Mad about Spike obviously lying through his teeth? Oh, yes.
Rainbow's eyes narrowed. "Admit it."
"Admit what?"
"I didn't get a makeover to be called 'ok.' Admit I'm a total knock-out." she said forcefully.
Spike just shrugged, bracing himself for the incoming explosion. Oh, the explosion. How he had waited. Teasing Rainbow was so much fun.
The explosion he expected never came though. Looking up at Rainbow's face he could see that she, just like him, had turned completely calm.
"Huh. Okay, I see." she said.
This reaction was completely alien to Spike, and frankly, for the first time ever since they had started hanging out, he didn't know what to say.
"I guess I'll just... have another makeover." Dash continued casually, bending down to Spike's eye level.
"Really...?"
"No." she whispered. "You will."
Before Spike could react, Rainbow had grabbed him by his sides and floated up into the air. "Hey, Rares? Let's do Spike next!"
Rarity's eyes lit up for a second time that day. "Oh, yes, that's a wonderful idea!"
Spike's eyes however, were filled with horror. The whole reason he hadn't want to come here in the first place was because of this very thing. Bad memories resurfaced, remembering him of what had transpired all those months ago, and the shame it had brought.
"NO, WAIT!!" Pinkie interrupted, "We can't do that!"
"Why not?" Rarity responded, anxious to know why she couldn't unleash her creativity once again.
Pinkie fixed her with a glare. "Because we promised Spike we would never do that again! We Pinkie promised remember? He trusts us." she uttered slowly. "And losing a friend's trust is the fastest way..."
"...to lose a friend forever." Rarity finished with a sigh.
"FOREVER!!" Pinkie emphasized with a glare.
Wow, after all this time, Pinkie promises finally work in my favor. Spike thought as he hung limply in Rainbow's arms.
Rainbow started to regret not coming to that particular slumber party, a lot had seemed to have happened back then. The way it looked now though, she wouldn't get her sweet revenge on Spike, and she couldn't have that. Thinking about it for a while, she got another idea.
"That's okay, Pinkie," Dash said, looking away innocently. "I haven't promised Spike anything so I'll just do it myself then! "
Pinkie's glare lessened.
"No! Please don't let her do this to me Pinkie! I'm to young and handsome to d-mmff!" Spike yelled before Rainbow pulled him closer, burying his face in her fur coat. Under any other circumstance Spike would've probably enjoyed this hug-like position, but his steadily rising fears didn't allow him to.
"As I was saying, I understand you have your hooves tied, so I thought maybe I could give him the makeover." Rainbow explained. "You girls could just... y'know. Give me advice and stuff. That works right?"
Pinkie thought long and hard about Rainbow's words, stroking an imaginary goatee all the while.
Spike was struggling in Rainbow's arms, trying to break free. Dash just smiled at the squirming dragon. There was no way he was getting out of this one, not mentally, and definitely not physically. She chuckled at the thought.
Pinkie was still a little unenthusiastic. She knew how much Spike didn't want to it, but that fight was between him and Dash now. "Okie-dokie-lokie."
Spike, whose snout was still buried in Rainbow's chest, snapped his eyes open. Dash loosened her grip to hoof-pump the air.
"Aww, yeah! Awesome!!"
Spike looked up at Rainbow, the position he was in making it look like she was the highest authority in Equestria. "Wait, RD! I'm sorry! You look amazing, absolutely stunning! I was just teasing before, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he pleaded.
In response, Dash looked down at Spike. "Oh, now you say it? Sorry, pal. It doesn't work like that." Rainbow said with a sly grin, "Besides, you didn't think twice about selling me out when the girls wanted to give me a makeover before, soo..."
Rainbow flew over to hover above the very mattress she had sat on just a while ago. "...I think it's about time you learn what happens when you mess with Rainbow Dash!"
Spike's mind scrabbled for anything that he could defend himself with. Anything! Alas, he didn't find that special 'anything.'
Spike was out of usable arguments.
... ... ... ...
Spike blacked out!
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Oh, Spike, you poor, poor fool.
Spike you poor sap.
3185371
media.tumblr.com/3bdf6af578ed489839719c6d7c9f1f79/tumblr_inline_movkuqR2pg1qz4rgp.jpg
I can only wonder how this will turn out for the poor boy
Spike is out of usable pokemon!
Spike paid the winner 4569 pokedollars!
Spike blacked out!
Spike took his team to the nearest Pokémon center.
All jokes aside, great chapter.
3185913 ever seen the picture of spike in the speedo
http://th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/188/0/2/spike_is_smexy_by_iopichio-d56d6xy.jpg
this 5 times worse
1.bp.blogspot.com/-F0UVX9HqzEM/TySJvjtODLI/AAAAAAAAAtE/CoGU55j7Ozc/s320/Pikachu+best.jpg
3186085
Yes I have seen that picture and I proudly say that he is smokin hot
3186085 WHY DID I CLICK THAT LINK???
I KNEW WHAT IT WAS BUT I STILL DID IT. i'm a dumbass
When in doubt black the fuck out.
3186000 Nice dude.
Anyway this is a great chapter and I hope Spike wakes up soon because he's going to need all of his smarts to get out of this.
I'd hate to nitpick, but there's a minor error you may want to edit.
That should be "thinks".
I'm sorry, but no. Pinkie would not do that. She's not that air-headed and she takes her Pinkie Promises seriously enough that in most works, ponies seem like they're scared she'll murder them for breaking one.
I could see her letting Dash do the makeover, alone. Anyone else 'helping' would not be allowed, no matter how 'fun' or whatever reasoning there was. Pinkie does not break Pinkie Promises, even on technicalities. Hell, I'd accept that she broke it over technicalities for a normal promise, but not the one that she attaches her name to, and even then, she'd hum and haw over it.
Hell, you had a perfect opportunity to have a Dash and Spike alone scene, in the course of the slumber party, where she subjects him to this torture, all at her own hooves, and you instead do this.
Sorry if I seem overly angry or whatever, but I get really pissy when people write Pinkie breaking her promises like it's nothing. It's enough that I won't be continuing with the story, no matter how much I liked it otherwise.
3186525holy shit dude....you take this seriously don't you. If I had to guess I'd say that Pinkie is your best pony?
3187687 You seem to be implying that I take it seriously because of Pinkie. I would be the same if he'd suddenly had Dash casually say she didn't care about the Wonderbolts, had Applejack lie constantly and convincingly with no problems, if Rarity got dirty and just kept talking like nothing had happened, if Twilight set a book on fire and didn't bat an eye about it or if you had a new pony in town slam the door open, walk in and have Fluttershy walk up to them, stick her hoof out and say hi.
The core point of fanfiction is that you get to take already established characters and places and use them. It saves you the time of world building so you can get straight to the character development. But that point is moot if you don't follow the characters core tenets. You get leeway in that you can put them in situations the show has never and probably will never cover, but their core character traits are things that will never change and if you ignore them, you're no longer writing about an established character in a new situation, you're writing about an incredibly similar OC. Having a hold of your core character concepts and keeping to them is something all writers have to do, whether they write fanfiction or novels.
I know this is fanfiction and for some reason people seem to think it's a lesser form of work and thus it doesn't matter what an author does, but that's not the case. I can point to multiple stories that are far better than most of the series, that stick to the core concepts of each character than some episodes do. I can point to dozens of people who use fanfiction as a form of improving their abilities with writing in the hopes of becoming published writers (I refuse to use the term 'actual writers' as it is demeaning to said people) one day.
I've seen so many people just casually dismiss criticism with a 'lol, it's fanfiction, it doesn't matter what I do, calm down bro.' If that's what they want to do, fine, but I find that insulting to all those who actually put some time and effort into writing, whether it be for this fandom, another fandom, themselves or for a living. Waving off one way of writing as lesser ultimately insults all forms of writing.
I don't know if I wrote that as eloquently as I could have, nor if I've covered everything I probably should have in reply to your comment. I also probably trip over myself more than once. Sorry about that. Sorry to the author as well for filling up more space in his comment page than is strictly necessary.
And yes, Pinkie is my favourite.
3187828 I'm not trying to insult your criticism by any means. I'm just saying you are a good critique, it's just I was surprised by you saying that you wouldn't continue reading. Again I'm in no way trying to judge you. Also, called it
3187986 Sorry, I'm so used to people in this fandom waving me off, insulting or threatening me for having an opinion. I didn't mean to be so pithy.
I'm not surprised you did, it's right there on my bio page.
Ha, that was great fun. And as I said some time ago, your banter is great.
Nitpicks:
"squinting her eyes at the dragon. In response Spike rose an eyebrow, his smile still hiding his true intentions from her." I think you just "squint". That is defined as something you do with your eyes. Also, the one acting is "raising an eyebrow" and the eyebrow itself "rose".
"The room then fell silent, with exception from the mumbling and giggling from the three mares over at the seemingly messy pile of bags. Applejack and Twilight each exchanged looks and chuckled lightly at the turn of events." Think it's "with the exception of the..." Also, lose the "seemingly", it's unnecessary, as is the "each" before "exchanged". Unless there are several pairs of people exchanging anything, the "each" is unnecessary.
Also, it is claimed that Rainbow hasn't been styled before. Wasn't she styled for the gala?
Despite you making this happen at a time when Spike has already pretty much given up on Rarity and begun to feel his feelings fade, I still think you don't quite give it enough impact. Just a short moment of Spike being still and taking in the realization, then composing himself, would have been good. Despite everything, I think the confirmation of his previous fears would still be a blow, just not a blow to send him running away in tears. It doesn't seem to be there as a interesting plot development and just there to shove away the Sparity ship so we can get on with the SpikeDash. Don't get me wrong, I want the SpikeDash, I just think the paragraph where Spike finally gives up Rarity deserves a little more effort
"Hey, Applejack?" Spike said, peeking at the group of ponies over at Rainbow's mattress.
Said pony was lying on her back with her stetson down over her eyes." "Said pony" is a little unclear, now that you mentioned Rainbow between mentioning Applejack and "Said pony". I get what you mean, it's just not completely flawless that sequence of sentences.
"Because you're the most honest pony I know." Spike answered sincerely." I think the comment should end with a comma, not a full stop.
"Ahem! It was a hard operation, since we're not at a beauty saloon, but we're now proud to present:" Pinkie and Fluttershy moved away, revealing,
"The new Rainbow Dash!" I get what you want to do, but the execution is clunky. Don't use " : " and then interject that with a description. I suggest changing it around to: ""Ahem! It was a hard operation, since we're not at a beauty saloon. but we're now proud to present!" Pinkie and Fluttershy moved away, revealing the subject of the makeover.
"The new Rainbow Dash!""
"but still, an incredible sight to behold." Too much space between "," and "an".
"The whole reason he hadn't want to come here in the first place was because of this very thing. Bad memories resurfaced, remembering him of what had transpired all those months ago, and the shame it had brought." It should be "he hadn't wanted". I also suggest "in fear of this very thing." Additionally, it should either be "reminding him" or "resurfaced, and he remembered what had..."
"Because we promised Spike we would never do that again! We Pinkie promised remember? He trusts us." she uttered slowly." It should be a comma after "trusts us,"
"party, a lot had seemed to have happened back then. " Again, too much space after "party,"
"And you girls could just help me." she added with a wink." I think it should be a comma after "me", not a full stop.
"Spike's mind reeled for anything that he could defend himself with." Not sure reeled is the right word. I suggest "scrabbled for" or something similar.
Now, remember, the nitpicks are because I like everything I don't comment on, and most of what I comment on is a case of being more clear or creative. The foundations and general ideas and execution are all fine. But I'm not sure Pinkie would accept this kind of rules lawyering. Going with the letter, not the spirit, of a Pinkie Promise seems completely against the point of it. A quick way to lose friends is exactly this, going by the letter of agreements, not the spirit. Of course, only in more serious situations, but the point still stands.
And it isn't even necessary to have them have actually Pinkie Promised, they could just have promised in a normal way. Unless I have forgotten that that promise was canon.
Good stuff overall though. Looking forward to more.
Happy writing.
3188012 3188350
I knew I would screw a character up eventually...
I have several things that ruin a story for me too, so I understand completely.
Her random nature can make me lose track of her, but I guess I thought of the promise in "The Last Roundup" in season 2 when I wrote her character here.
I'm just explaining my reasoning, I'm not saying it's right.
Frazzle, you suggested I could change it to a normal promise. I suppose I could, but then I'd feel like I'm running away from my mistakes.
I'm seriously conflicted right now. I think I'll leave it, so I can look back at it and remember it. But at the same time, it would make the story better if I changed it...
In any case, thanks for reading, chinlamp. I'll be sure to remember this for future reference. As I've stated somewhere before, I think getting everyone in character is the most inportant aspect of a story. I won't make the same mistake twice.
3185526
"Fool! Do you know of my hat?"
3186000
Thanks! It was an obvious reference, but I'm glad someone pointed it out
3186085
If Rainbow dressed him up like that, she'd be digging her own grave
3186168
i41.tinypic.com/2ijrrza.gif
3186218
(Nah, just kidding. Hyuck hyuck hyuck!)
What if I tell you he never wakes up again?
3186288
Thank you! Got it
3188566
"Fool! My legend began in the 12th Century."
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/236/2/e/excalibur_dmp_by_invadersiz-d5cb0sa.png
3188517
Well, in the interest of not putting off readers that come after us, I suggest changing it to a normal promise or having Rainbow just do the makeover alone. Rainbow giving a solo makeover might be worse than when she gets help, though I can't decide what's actually worse, a makeover done horribly or getting a thorough and professional one. If you want to retain the reminder, you do have our comments here and you could mention the edit in an authors note in this chapter or the next one. That way, you will retain a reminder in an actual story document.
That sounds like I'm fishing for acknowledgement, and that would be nice, but it is mainly meant as a way to improve the story for future readers, while retaining your reminder of the learning experience.
In my opinion, improving the story for the coming readers should be the main concern, but that's just me. Now the suggestion is out there. And you didn't lose me yet, I thought it odd and OOC, but not unforgivable.
Happy writing.
3189220 3186525
Frazzled Pony, you're becoming my advisor at this rate. (You do a good job, don't get me wrong.)
I have edited the chapter so the Pinkie catastrophe is now no longer a catastrophe, at least from my point of view.
I realize this entire conflict could have been avoided if I had had an editor. Or even just a proof-reader. Might look into that.
3189429
Better. Not sure chinlamp will accept it, but it works better for me. This way, it doesn't look quite as much as rules lawyering and to an optimist, the others giving advice to Rainbow could almost be construed as damage control on their side, making the makeover as painless as possible.
It'll still be painful I guess. And hilarious.
Of course! Spike's feelings fades for Rarity cause...he has another special somepony! And Rainbow Dash has another special-...uh...somedragon?
"Who are you?!" I just know you thought of Eddy when you wrote that. I JUST KNOW IT. My little sister senses are burning here! KABOOSH!
Ahh, I've written more fanfics than you, and you STILL write better, it's the worst POSSIBLE THING!
I need an ice cream carton...
Enough of me. Splendid chapter, sugarcube! Just keep developing like ah will!
all I can say for spike now is, poor bastard.
I know how he feels in some ways. I lost a bet with my sister, so I had to do what spike is about too go through, and it was funny.
3191741
Oh, man, that sucks. Glad you didn't find it as horrible as Spike thinks it will be.
I've managed to stay away from make-up... mostly
3189790
The only person who would ever get it gets on FiMFiction again. Bad luck?
You're right, I always read that line with Eddy's voice.
You think I write good? Thanks!
(I think you're on par with me. Bigger vocabulary is expected since I'm older.)
I have lot of stuff to think about though. You know, I have all these story ideas but I can't find a way to execute them in a good way.
Sometimes it feels like it was a mistake to start posting fanfics. I barely read anything anymore, and when I do, I can't enjoy them to the fullest.
I just hope those feelings will go away with time.
3192788
Don't feel bad for your fanfics! I always want to throw up whenever I read mine...but that's just my opinion. Those I hate the most is loved the most
When you write a fanfic by yourself, it's easy to Think that you could've done something better. It's both good and bad. Good being; you're critical, bad being; you're too hard on yourself.
I enjoy this anyway. Don't feel bad, just keep Writing, if you Think it was a mistake to ever upload a fanfic, you're dead wrong! It's improves your skill!
Seriously, I've improved A LOT. I read my first fanfics and they're shit, that's why I removed them.
HE DIED FROM IT
anyone get the pewdiepie terrence I'm making nowright
Man did i hate that makeover curse you RD!
Quick Spike use flame-thrower.
Like he did in applefamily reunion.
will this be continued please?
This story has a new cover image. This gives me hope that this will be continued soon. Please?
4079904
4137076
Yes, fellow bronies. Soon.
Great use of the pokemon reference at the end!
He blank out
He blank out
You know spike has razer sharp claws and teeth
Poor spikebro
Why is Spike suddenly a Pokemon Trainer?
4479533
It's not like he would use them but people do tend to forget he is strong enough to crush gems and stone pretty easily. But again he would hold back to avoid hurting anyone.