After a traumatic experience with an animals life Fluttershy could have saved, the shy yellow mare tries to repress her memories in her nursery turned sanctuary. However this sanctuary turns nightmare as one of the filly mare friends interrupt her.
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And you've just lost a reader. Sorry pal but this story had so much potential and now it's just turning into a padded clop fic with nothing else going for it.
I won't ask you to change it since you're the writer, but I'm disappointed to see that you chose to go such a route even when it could aliennate a lot of fans.
3565011
I have my reasoning for including that scene in there. I don't want to spoil to much of the story but the scene come's back to bite Twilight in the ass, and is also supposed to be symbolic of how affectionate she's gotten for Fluttershy.
Like as I said in my note, mental and spiritual intimacy is almost always matched by physical affection. The two mares sharing every waking moment for the past week together and all the bonding Twilight and Fluttershy have done with each other brought the two closer than what they have been with any other pony.
Now that Twilight has shared such an intimate moment with Fluttershy she's going to feel like Fluttershy is the only one she loves. I've let subtle hints around the story about how her affection is dousing her general reasoning!
I didn't include the sex scene in the story because I'm making it a clop-fic. If you noticed I didn't use slang being as elegant with the terminology as possible, have the characters moan (much anyway), and I didn't even have the characters use dialogue during the majority of the scene.
3565011
You're not the only one. I'm confused in the story. Goes from Fluttershy having a mental breakdown from failure to save an animal's life, to her and Twilight shipping. Don't get it. Now, I don't mind if this turns into a clop(because I like lesbi-pony clops), but I just need an explanation on what's happening.
I read the other "Fluttercrinkle" story, the one with Fluttershy and Derpy, and it was good. Not saying this story is bad, but it's confusing.
3582542
I recognize there was a lot of linear style conflict in this story (Like a lot) but a curtain event happens within the next two chapters that will most likely explain/recap the stories conflicts!
3582542
I read the other Fluttercrinkle as well. I must say, this one is very intriguing. I don't typically like "Flutter-Sparkle" stories, but this one is very good so far, I think.
This popped into my head after reading the title to this chapter!