Prolouge
The chances of succeeding? Low.
Risk? Unfathomably high.
Payoff? More than any other job he has, or will ever do.
These were the facts that Spike faced as he debated a decision that would change his life forever. You see, Spike was a thief. And if he was asked his opinion, he was a damn good one.
The dragon took a long drag of his cigar. His emerald eyes stared at the evening sun.
He had always been this way, it was a secret that if all went well, he would take to his grave. Even when he could barely produce a flame, Spike would pick the pockets of Canterlot Elite. When he and Twilight moved into Celestia's private School for Gifted Unicorns, the drake would hone his skills by stealing silverware from out of the kitchen. A member of the cleaning staff once caught him and threatened to snitch. Spike planted some jewelry he had stole from Celestia on him, the stallion was fired on the spot. Some might say that was cruel, to him it was just necessary. Being a kleptomaniac had taught him how to swallow his morals. Not that he was heartless of course, he just did what he had to do to get the job done.
Spike took another drag, he leaned his head against the tiles of the roof.
Twilight could never find out, it would absolutely break the Unicorn's heart if she knew his secret. Spike instead decided to make Twilight think that he was a naive baby dragon, to give her the illusion of a parental figure. But if there was anypony that Spike truly cared about, it was her. She was always kind and loving towards the dragon.
"SPIKE! I thought told you to stop smoking on the roof!”
She could also be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
Spike sighed, he tossed his cigar in the air before swallowing it with a single gulp. He rose to his feet and re-entered the the tree house through the attic. Twilight was waiting for him, giving her signature ‘I-am-upset-so-you-better-start-kissing-my-flank-to-make-up-for-it’ look.
The drake rolled his eyes, “Twilight, I still don’t understand why I’m not allowed to smoke,” he complained. “I am a dragon after all.”
Twilight looked unimpressed by his perfectly logical point, “I don’t care Spike,” she complained. “Smoking is a disgusting habit. Did you know more ponies die from lung cancer each year than from all the casualties of the Discord-Celestia War?! I mean seriously, of all the blah blah blah...”
It was at this moment, that Spike briefly considered committing suicide to get out of Twilight’s lecture. Alas there were no sharp objects around, and jumping out of the window would sprain his ankle at the most. No, the dragon would have to endure the agony of the Unicorn’s nagging to its full extent.
“And lastly, because I SAID SO,” finished Twilight.
Spike hated when she said that. ‘Because I said so!’ What was her word to him? The AUDACITY she had to think her rules meant anything to Spike.
The drake gave a hearty chuckle.
“Um, excuse me! What part of this is funny to you?” asked Twilight.
Spike looked the unicorn in her eyes, “The part where you think I give a shit,” he answered calmly.
Twilight gasped, “S-Spike! How dare you speak to me li-TWACK!”
Spike delivered an expertly placed backhand to Twilight’s left cheek. "Ya know what Twilight?” he asked menacingly. “From now on, we’re going to do things my way.”
Twilight gulped, “Y-Yes Spi-TWACK!”
“From now on, you’ll address me as master,” he said with a sinister smile.
Twilight nodded quickly, “Yes Master,” she answered obediently. “How may I serve you master?” she asked.
Spike’s grin widened as he leaned in closer towards Twilight, “Oh, you know EXACTLY what I want.” he said.
Twilight nodded and turned around so her plot was facing Spike. She lifted up her tail, revealing her soaked-
“Spike! Are you listening to me?” asked the unicorn.
Spike shook his head back to reality. He’s been having these moments recently when he has weird sex daydreams. Usually he didn’t mind them, but he knew they were becoming troublesome when he had one while helping Granny Smith clean her kitchen.
Needless to say he could never look at leather the same way again.
"SPIKE!" Twilight yelled.
"Gah! Sorry, I'm just not thinking straight." he apologized.
Twilight sighed, “It’s okay Spike, I guess I’m just stressed about preparing for the storm,” she explained. The Weather Control Team were creating a hurricane that would hit in 4 days. Spike wasn’t sure why they would make such a powerful storm, but when he questioned Rainbow Dash, she gave a very vague “Don’t worry, we got this.” as a response.
Spike grimaced as he felt the cigar pass through his esophagus. When the time came for release, it was going to be a nasty one. Especially since everypony already thought his delivery system was disgusting anyway.
It also probably didn’t help when he showed that documentary.
“Don’t worry Twilight, I’m sure Rainbow Dash has it handled,” he reassured his guardian. Spike’s attempt had no effect as she began to obsess over the coming storm. As adorable as her obsession with perfection could get, it was rather annoying to deal with on a day by day basis. Spike’s mind wandered as Twilight continued her rant. He sighed, she wasn’t the only one who had been stressed recently. Ever since he had discovered that pamphlet, Spike’s life seemed to have been getting duller.
The drake looked towards a stack of random papers where he had hidden his tormentor. He quickly made his way towards it.
Spike stretched his arms as he faked a yawn. “Man, I’m tired. Twilight, I’m going to get some shut-eye.” he lied. After slipping the pamphlet into his scale pocket the young dragon proceeded to head upstairs to Twilight’s disappointment.
“By the way,” started Spike at the base of the steps. “You didn’t forget to stock up on emergency quills, did you?” he asked with a sly grin.
Twilight’s eyes sprang open in realization. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! How can I forget about the quills?!” she asked. She galloped towards her saddlebag. "I'll be back!" she yelled, her face red and flustered.
Spike laughed as he jumped onto his bed.
As he lie there, he listened for a sign. Twilight paced downstairs, as usual, before eventually leaving the library.
This was his chance. Spike jumped up and approached the balcony, carefully climbing to the top of the tree house again.
He carefully walked on the roof, glancing in both directions to make sure he was alone. He didn’t want anypony to lay eyes on, or worse snatch his booty.
His claws carefully grasped a single tile and lifted it up, revealing a few gems. Spike sighed. It seemed everyday his hoard was shrinking. For a thief like him, it was rather pathetic.
He took a medium-sized piece and threw it in his mouth. He savored the flavor, which he didn't often do. Chewing slowly allowed him to think a little better. He was rather low on bits lately, so buying gems was out of the question. Unfortunately there wasn’t anypony he could steal from in Ponyville either. Too much risk was involved, plus he was rather fond of the town.
The only pony who actively sought out and collected gems was Rarity, but Spike would never steal from her. She was too close to him.
His mind wandered to the coming storm. Tomorrow would be the final day. He had to decide by then, or it would be too late. It was quite an enticing offer, one that he would have to act fast on. The window of opportunity would soon close, but taking the chance would require much effort, luck, and skill. Not to mention the consequences would be severe.
Spike swallowed his last gem and flashed a smile. It was decided then.
One more heist, all or nothing.
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I got a little scared at the daydream fantasy, but its all good. Love this so far.
So much nope.
But go on.
~Skeeter The Lurker
You had my couriosity now you have my attention.
I always love reading stories about Spike being a secret master of something and all that... so needless to say, I enjoyed this and can't wait for more
You have my interest.
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2980690
You sir deserve an Oscar for that
Spike De Lis?
This has to be one my favourite depictions of spike ever. Keep up the good work
2981210
Spike De Lis ? An interesting ship..
2980969Yes, yes I do.
does this story remind anyone else of the plot for gta 5?
2982148 Well it's the only ship that could happen.
2983262 Glad to see im not the only person to think of Michael when I sad dat description
If you think about it dragons would practically be immune to lung cancer. Creatures that have their bodies attuned to breathing fire wouldn't feel much harm from the smoke of cigarettes filtering through their lungs. I bet it would probably take a mountain load of cigarettes just to make them cough. Twilight's lecture about how smoking is bad for Spike is pretty lame when you keep that in mind.
2991922 well a big part of what makes smoking bad is the chemicals in the cigarettes which cause cancer. So a dragon probably wouldn't be immune to them.
2993399
It can't be much more volatile than the complex chemical makeup of a dragon's internal biology. Imagine the various chemicals that mix and match together inside a dragon's stomach, we are talking about chemicals which ignite and turn into flame once they come into contact with the open air; which means that extremely hot, smokey chemicals are flowing through Spike's system. A cigarette by comparison can't come anywhere close to the level of smoke inhalation that a dragon's internal biology would already manifest by default.
Even more telling is that dragons can survive within lava, which can burn at temperatures up to 3000 degrees. The amount of smoke inhalation at the source of a lava pool would be instantly lethal to any mere mortal, which automatically proves that lethal levels of smoke are of no concern to a dragon.
I mean you could probably argue that the smoke carries cancer causing chemicals, but as far as I'm aware it's lethal to us humans because our biology wasn't designed to have smoke bind to our DNA. A dragon naturally has to deal with smokey internal organs all the time so I would assume their resistance to cancer causing elements in smoke would be significantly higher.
Twilight is a bad-pony. In the end, Master Spike must teach her one thing or two.
