Alice ventures to Equestria after her confrontation with Dr. Bumby. What will a girl do? All she knows of life is pain, suffering, and death. She will find out with her constant companion and her trusty blade. An AMR MLP crossover.
Despite my loathing, my hatred, my abhorrence for ponification, I find myself at the end of your chapter, feeling... conflicted and confused. Usually, the moment ponification happens, I downvote and leave, but this time... something kept me from doing that. Maybe it was my love for the Alice games, or your perfect representation of it. Whatever the case, I read on.
Not perfect, but what is. This is one of those stories that I keep nitpicking on, but keep reading them anyway.
1 I must say I preferred Bumby's death as presented in the game - to the point and deliciously ironic.
2 I find it strange that you would devote so much attention to describing the details of her dress and then skip over an action scene (granted, the action wasn't that much needed - this is not what this fic seems to be about - but the juxtaposition is still a bit strange)
3 One major complain I'd have is you using the term "hysteria mode" - it breaks the mood, taking us from the dephs of madness to a video game - I'm sure Alice never referred to "hysteria mode" as such, if she even had a name for it. Also, the few readers who didn't actually play the game would not know what you were talking about.
moar!
Excellent writing, grammar and beginning to a story. We would humbly request some more of this at your earliest convinience.
I request MOAR please
2869529 I appreciate such a well mannered request. I am currently working on the next chapter.
2869770 I do have MOAR on the way!
Despite my loathing, my hatred, my abhorrence for ponification, I find myself at the end of your chapter, feeling... conflicted and confused. Usually, the moment ponification happens, I downvote and leave, but this time... something kept me from doing that. Maybe it was my love for the Alice games, or your perfect representation of it. Whatever the case, I read on.
I love it... and it just happens to be a few days after the alice daily deal on steam
Not perfect, but what is. This is one of those stories that I keep nitpicking on, but keep reading them anyway.
1 I must say I preferred Bumby's death as presented in the game - to the point and deliciously ironic.
2 I find it strange that you would devote so much attention to describing the details of her dress and then skip over an action scene (granted, the action wasn't that much needed - this is not what this fic seems to be about - but the juxtaposition is still a bit strange)
3 One major complain I'd have is you using the term "hysteria mode" - it breaks the mood, taking us from the dephs of madness to a video game - I'm sure Alice never referred to "hysteria mode" as such, if she even had a name for it. Also, the few readers who didn't actually play the game would not know what you were talking about.