A young boy was soon to be killed by his parents who accidentally gave birth to him.They were supposedly about to correct their mistake by killing him.
My humble opinions: I like the idea, but the u r making some abrupt jumps on time, i think u could take a little more time to explain certain things, also maybe a 1 chapter a little longer.
2832766 Pacing. Should be slower. As he is still recovering physically, you might be able to do a fade in and out. . . Also, I personally have trouble understanding how an abused nine year old is so trusting of alien, magical ponies.
Please leave suggestions for this story and things I could do to help improve this.
Why is everyone thumbing it down?Give me opinions and why you guys think this is bad.
My humble opinions:
I like the idea,
but the u r making some abrupt jumps on time,
i think u could take a little more time to explain certain things,
also maybe a 1 chapter a little longer.
dawwwwwwwww
Well, i was a bit skeptical at first but i love this story now. MAKE MORE
2832766
Pacing. Should be slower. As he is still recovering physically, you might be able to do a fade in and out. . .
Also, I personally have trouble understanding how an abused nine year old is so trusting of alien, magical ponies.
2832766
Spacing after punctuation, for one.
4439818
In fairness, said alien magical ponies saved him from the jackasses trying to murder him.
Also, it's stated in the story that he is ten, not nine.