That's it. I've had enough of this crap, and I honestly can't give this enough dislikes. The very idea that someone could give this a like just shocks me considering how messed up it is.
The guy can now transform. Uh, excuse me? I must have missed the part where the Avatar or a Saiyan can transform themselves into whatever they want. Oh, that's right, they can't.
He can now move the moon and sun, proving that once again you your character doesn't understand how any of his powers works, nor does he understand how the sun works. Also, neither power allows something like that. Well, they don't allow transforming either, so I guess it doesn't matter. Why don't you just save us all the trouble and give him every power in the universe?
After just getting with Cadence, he decides to cheat on her. And then there's this gem:
“What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, and I can hide anything from anyone. And in the event that she does find out, I can wipe her mind of you.” I tell her.
Yeah, because hiding the fact that you're cheating never causes any problems. Yeah, because mind raping someone who learns you're cheating doesn't make you a complete monster. Yeah, because the powers you have (Avatar and Saiyan) allow for mind altering abilities (they don't, just to be clear). Yeah, because massive abuse of your power doesn't also make you a complete monster. Yeah, because anyone would want to be with you after you casually mention how you plan on wiping the mind of your lover if she finds out.
Huh, I just realized that Cadence was right all along (no surprise there). He really was more dangerous than the gun, considering he plans on abusing his powers like that with no care at all for the consequences.
At this point, nothing will make this story better short of God coming back and ripping his powers away, giving him a massive "Why you suck" speech, and then sending his worthless soul into hell. But considering how much of a Gary Stu your worthless SI is, I don't see that happening.
yo dude i like this one and i even faved it be content that i and 54 others like this there maybe more that dislike it but i accept it as u made it just because there are some 1 who hate it does't mean the rest will i'm grateful that u had a free mind and guts to tell it here in this website i respect it so chin up a fic is a fiction wich means as assassin's creed say "nothing is true everything is permitted" the only limmit is you so keep on and one day many more will see i was right and like this and respect more what u wrote
“It takes a lot of practice to be able to tell on a whim.”
Seriously -.- I mean sure this can be some way of hiding this alien factor to ponies/griffins (or however you say griffin... I'm still trying to figure English out) bet even with that said, at the rate the main character is learning he should might as well be god in two days if he learns things that takes YEARS to master in under a day... Either A. No shits were given while writing this story and this story was just a spewing of crap you had to get out of your head or B. This is horrid writing. Please be A... I pray to all things holy that it be A..
So when is the main character gonna get fucked over by all the different lies he's telling to different people and what Deus ex Machina is going to be used to solve the problem...
2895313 stop reading the fucking story if you dislike it so much instead of bitching about it, theres a difference between criticism and spouting hateful bullshit, which in your case, is the latter. So instead of spouting your bullshit and trying to be hurtful kindly fuck off
The passing in your story needs to be better you jump from one major plot point to another to quickly without much exposition, this creates a lack of development for your caricatures .With the information in the first three chapters could be spread out to six or seven chapters.
i tried i really did try to get past these parts cause they seem like moments of weaknesses but its just so bad i was gonna at the very least try and convince you to keep uploading but its so bad
NO YOU DIRTY CHEATER!
That's it. I've had enough of this crap, and I honestly can't give this enough dislikes. The very idea that someone could give this a like just shocks me considering how messed up it is.
The guy can now transform. Uh, excuse me? I must have missed the part where the Avatar or a Saiyan can transform themselves into whatever they want. Oh, that's right, they can't.
He can now move the moon and sun, proving that once again
youyour character doesn't understand how any of his powers works, nor does he understand how the sun works. Also, neither power allows something like that. Well, they don't allow transforming either, so I guess it doesn't matter. Why don't you just save us all the trouble and give him every power in the universe?After just getting with Cadence, he decides to cheat on her. And then there's this gem:
Yeah, because hiding the fact that you're cheating never causes any problems.
Yeah, because mind raping someone who learns you're cheating doesn't make you a complete monster.
Yeah, because the powers you have (Avatar and Saiyan) allow for mind altering abilities (they don't, just to be clear).
Yeah, because massive abuse of your power doesn't also make you a complete monster.
Yeah, because anyone would want to be with you after you casually mention how you plan on wiping the mind of your lover if she finds out.
Huh, I just realized that Cadence was right all along (no surprise there). He really was more dangerous than the gun, considering he plans on abusing his powers like that with no care at all for the consequences.
At this point, nothing will make this story better short of God coming back and ripping his powers away, giving him a massive "Why you suck" speech, and then sending his worthless soul into hell. But considering how much of a Gary Stu your worthless SI is, I don't see that happening.
yo dude i like this one and i even faved it be content that i and 54 others like this there maybe more that dislike it but i accept it as u made it just because there are some 1 who hate it does't mean the rest will i'm grateful that u had a free mind and guts to tell it here in this website i respect it so chin up a fic is a fiction wich means as assassin's creed say "nothing is true everything is permitted" the only limmit is you so keep on and one day many more will see i was right and like this and respect more what u wrote
Seriously -.-
I mean sure this can be some way of hiding this alien factor to ponies/griffins (or however you say griffin... I'm still trying to figure English out) bet even with that said, at the rate the main character is learning he should might as well be god in two days if he learns things that takes YEARS to master in under a day... Either A. No shits were given while writing this story and this story was just a spewing of crap you had to get out of your head or B. This is horrid writing. Please be A... I pray to all things holy that it be A..
Yes but fire can also be used to warm things and cauterize wounds
3742972
Griffin? Gryphon? Gryphen?
So when is the main character gonna get fucked over by all the different lies he's telling to different people and what Deus ex Machina is going to be used to solve the problem...
So... Why?
2895313 stop reading the fucking story if you dislike it so much instead of bitching about it, theres a difference between criticism and spouting hateful bullshit, which in your case, is the latter. So instead of spouting your bullshit and trying to be hurtful kindly fuck off
The passing in your story needs to be better you jump from one major plot point to another to quickly without much exposition, this creates a lack of development for your caricatures .With the information in the first three chapters could be spread out to six or seven chapters.
i tried i really did try to get past these parts cause they seem like moments of weaknesses but its just so bad i was gonna at the very least try and convince you to keep uploading but its so bad