• Published 15th Feb 2012
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Tears in the Snow - Wintergreen Diaries



Twilight sees a vision after casting a spell to see the future and ends up saving a mysterious colt.

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We Are Not Amused

Chapter 19: We Are Not Amused

The sun had just begun to set as Rainbow Dash made her exit from the library, having exhausted herself poking fun at Twilight and Cerulean. She took great pleasure in recounting Twilight's steamy experience with her novel of choice, much to her chagrin and Cerulean's great amusement. Twilight quickly reminded him of the puddle of drool in which he was discovered, though it failed to silence his roaring laughter. Twilight's frustration was only compounded by the mess the water had made, ruining most of the books she had been studying that day. As her anger approached combustion status, Rainbow Dash decided it was likely best she call it a day.

She wandered aimlessly through the town, not having any particular destination in mind. The ponies had mostly recovered from the cupcakes and were closing their stalls for the evening. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were celebrating their fundraiser's success, merrily clapping along with Sweetie Belle as she sang. Scootaloo noticed her idol and waved frantically. Rainbow Dash approached with a grin, never above a proper stroking of her ego.

"Hey Rainbow Dash! Thanks for you help earlier, we would have been in big trouble if you didn't come along," Scootaloo exclaimed eagerly, beaming up at her.

"No problem, Scootaloo. Glad I could help," she replied coolly.

"How did you know 'bout how t' fix the de-colored rainbow?" Applebloom asked innocently, causing Rainbow Dash face to change from smug to nervous very quickly.

"No reason, something any pegasus would know, I'm sure," she mumbled guiltily, recalling some of the less proud moments of her early teen years. She then noticed that there was one more cupcake box by the stall. "Are those the dreaded cupcakes?" They all nodded. "I better take those off your hooves before someone sees you with them and you get in big trouble. Don't worry, I'll make sure their properly disposed of. Oh, and I'll also take the rest of the rainbow extract too." The fillies offered no objections, and Rainbow Dash grabbed the items and flew away at a leisurely pace, wondering who to prank. "Hmmm, Rarity could be fun," she cackled, imagining what the queen of fashion might design while under the influence of a cupcake or two. Not bothering to consider other options she made straight for Carousel Boutique, giggling as she went.

Rainbow Dash had just landed when Spike exited the shop, humming happily after another day with the beautiful Miss Rarity. Rainbow Dash had a flash of inspiration and landed in front of Spike, noting that he was carrying a parcel from the stationary supply shop. Her internal "Mischief-o-meter" set a record high, breaking it's confines and extending towards infinity. "Hey Spike, you know how you send Twilight's letters do Princess Celestia? How fast do they get there?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't sense the intention of the statement.

"Pretty fast, only takes a few minutes I think. Why?" he replied, slightly apprehensive and regarding her with suspicious eyes.

"And can you only send letters, or can you send other objects as well?" Rainbow Dash pressed, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Uh, Twilight's never had me send anything else but I'm pretty sure I could do small objects. Again, why?" he prodded, growing more suspicious as each seconds passed.

"Are those parchments you're carrying? And quills?"

"Rainbow Dash, what are you planning?" Spike demanded, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I need to send a gift to Princess Celestia is all, Spike. Could I borrow some paper so I could write her a quick letter?" Spike heaved a sigh, causing a small burst of flame as he did so. All that build up over a letter? Rainbow Dash ignored his irate muttering as he opened the package and offered her a quill and scroll. "Can you write it, Spike? Pleeeeeease?" she begged.

"Ok fine, just tell me what to write!" he shouted, his good mood rapidly deteriorating. As Rainbow Dash began dictating his mind wandered, his hands automatically performing their assigned duty. Rainbow's voice stopped sooner than he expected, and he signed the letter with the usual and sent it away. "There, happy?"

"Two more things, they go with the letter. Here, this first," she said, desperately fighting to keep a straight face and holding out the box of cupcakes. "Write 'To Princess Celestia, from Cerulean Snowgleam' on the box, if you could." Spike was beyond caring about why she was sending the package in Cerulean's name, and he didn't particularly mind since if anyone got in trouble it would be Cerulean. He was Twilight's number one assistant, and he was more than slightly upset at suddenly having a rival. He signed the box as instructed and sent it. Rainbow Dash then handed him the jar of rainbows.

"Send that one to the captain of Princess Celestia's royal guard, please. That's the last thing, I promise." With one final puff of his dragon breath, the jar was away to the castle.

"Happy now?" he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. To his surprise Rainbow Dash fell to the ground, her coat quickly becoming coated in dust as she rolled, her sides aching from the excessive mirth she had experienced that day.

"Oh yes, Spike. I'm very happy, thanks for the help!" she said between breaths before unsteadily taking off. Spike noticed her swerving as she failed to contain herself, nearly flying into a building before gaining some altitude and disappearing into the darkening sky. Spike shook his head and repacked the supplies, glad if anypony asked he could honestly say he had no idea what had just transpired.

Back at the library Twilight sat staring miserably at the lower floor. Everything was soaked, and all the books on the lower shelves had suffered prolonged water exposure, their pages wrinkling and ink running to the point of being unreadable. The smell of whatever Cerulean was cooking wasn't even strong enough to draw her attention, as the thought of how many of the books that were destroyed hadn't been read yet terrorized her scholastic nature.

"Twilight? Dinner is ready," Cerulean called from the kitchen, and she forced herself upright and entered. The food, as usual, was amazing. This, however, was a minor detail, a silver lining on the dark and stormy rain cloud that was her day.

"You know what the worst part is," she said quietly, causing Cerulean to cast a concerned eye on the dejected mare. "My checklist got ruined too." Cerulean knew that letting even the slightest hint of his amusement at the statement slip would result in a swift eviction and possibly spontaneous immolation, and thus he focused intently on his bread, tearing off a huge mouthful. It gave him time to calm himself, and try to appreciate Twilight's position a little. She looked like she was close to tears, and that wasn't anything to laugh about. At the same time, he was rather at a loss as to how to comfort someone over a deceased checklist.

"I'm sorry, Twilight. Tell you what, I will make sure tomorrow is better, you'll see. I'll write out a checklist even, a serious one. But you don't get to see it until tomorrow, ok? I want it to be a surprise." To his relief, Twilight perked up considerably at this, and accelerated her rate of consumption to normal standards. They finished eating in silence, and together tidied up the kitchen before returning to the main room. Cerulean glanced over at Twilight whose countenance had again fallen before letting out a small sigh. He was about to speak when Spike entered and stood staring at the mess.

"What... But... How did?.." he stuttered, having no idea what had gone on in Ponyville that day. As Cerulean recounted the tale, Spike listened with a growing sense of dread. That box he had sent... "Oh, this is bad. This is really really bad," he mumbled to himself.

"Huh, what was that Spike?" Twilight inquired, not having caught any of what he said.

"Nothing!" he shouted, not meaning to raise his voice but too anxious to control it. "I'm gonna start cleaning up this mess!" With that he quickly went about his work, drying things out and stacking the damaged books off to the side, seperating them into the salvagable and the lost causes. Twilight, too disheartened by the growing stack of books that were to be tossed out, failed to notice Spike's suspicious behavior.

"Twilight, come," Cerulean said suddenly, beckoning towards the door.

"Cerulean, I don't really feel much like doing anything right now," she complained half heartedly but still followed him out of the house. "Besides, it's night time. What could we possibly do at this hour?" Cerulean said nothing, leading her into the main street before turning towards her with a knowing grin.

"Twilight, do you trust me?"

"Yes Cerulean, I do, but..." she started.

"Climb on my back." Twilight's face flushed and he immediately realized her interpretation of the statement, and quickly waved his hoof in the air. "No, not like that! I meant, just... ugh, come here." She approached and he stood on his hind legs, motioning her to do the same. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and she found herself firmly locked within his hooves warm embrace. "Close your eyes... And hold on tight," he said gently. She obeyed, squeezing even tighter. Moments later she found herself airborne as Cerulean took flight, cutting through the night.

The stars were many and bright, and Twilight watched in awe as the all rushed by. The moon lit up Cerulean's wings, each flap releasing a cloud of shimmering snow, and soon all her many worries that had accumulated that day were erased as she beheld the glory of the night sky and the stallion she held in her arms. Cerulean evened out and flew looking up at the sky, Twilight perched atop his chest staring awestruck around her as she relished the wind blowing through her mane. Cerulean's chest was filled with a warmth he had only dreamed as he beheld the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria, who had generously allowed him the pleasure of each passing moment. He blushed as her brilliant eyes met his own but refused to look away, and they slowly brought their lips together, their cheeks and hearts burning as one. At length she withdrew, and he made for a nearby cloud and they both cast the cloud walking spell as they landed. Cerulean beckoned her over, and Twilight snuggled close to him, resting her head on his chest and wrapping her hooves around him gently as he did the same. The world faded away until that night belonged only to them, and only for them.

The captain of the royal guard gave a start as the jar of rainbow extract appeared before him, barely grabbing it with his magic before it dropped to the ground. Not having ever recieved something via dragon magic, he stared at it dumbfounded before passing it to one of the other guards to stow away in his quarters. He resumed his stalwart defense of Princess Celestia's chambers, looking straight ahead. The night had been peaceful, and thus remained for the next hour. A sudden crash caused him to jump, coming from just inside the door.

"Princess Celestia, is everything all right?" he asked, recieving only a giggle for an answer. He turned around and resumed his vanguard. A short time later a consistent thumping noise started, and his worry overcame his worry for the Princess's privacy. He cracked the door open to find both Celestia and Luna hopping circles around the room, merrily singing whatever words happened to come to mind. Thinking they were in no immediate danger he closed the doors, mortified that somepony might see. "Corporal, you're dismissed for the evening," he said firmly as the guard he had handed the jar to approached.

"You sure Captain?" A crash sounded from within and he raised an eyebrow.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" the captain barked, and the corporal gave him a quick salute before disappearing, knowing strict penalties awaited him should he attempt to pry further. The captain sighed, turning back to the doors. The room had gone silent. Worried for his ruler's safety he again entered, his dark cheeks unable to hide his blushing as the two sisters appeared to be leaning into a deep kiss. "Celestia! Luna! What in Equestria has gotten into you two?" he bellowed, not meaning any disrespect but too thoroughly disturbed to keep his voice calm.

"Oh dear, shomepony found ush~" Celestia sang, her speech extremely slurred by the effects of the de-colored rainbow.

"Hey, he's kinda cute, doncha think sis?" Luna said, the usual regality in her voice completely gone.

"Oh yesh, indeed. Come, join ush," Celestia said, eyeing the shaking captain. He bolted out of the room and slammed the doors, heart pounding in his ears as he sought to keep a clear thought process.

"Guards!" he shouted, causing four unicorns to come running and stand to attention. "Go get the Corporal and tell him to bring me the jar I gave him, NOW!" he shouted, and the four scrambled to obey. The doors swung open just long enough for Luna to grab the captain before slamming them shut again. He found himself on his back, looking directly into Luna's deep eyes, her cheeks slightly flushed and a coy smile playing at her lips. While the captain couldn't deny he had fantasized about exactly such a happening, the actual event playing out was much more terrifying than it was exhilerating. His mind was soon filled with other thoughts as Luna smothered him in kisses, causing Celestia to feel quite left out. That is, until the corporal barged in and stood petrified, jaw agape.

Princess Celestia took this as an open invitation, and tackled the hapless guard to the ground. The captain managed to break free long enough to grab the jar before he was levitated back to his former position. It took all his concentration to open the jar with his magic while attempting to ignore Luna's incredibly soft lips that were locked quite firmly with his. She pulled away momentarily and he siezed his chance, jumping atop her so he could administer the antidote.

"Hey now, not so rough," Luna tittered, stroking the captain's muzzle. He quickly poured a generous amount into her mouth as she raised her head for another make out session. He was thrown clear as Luna came to her senses, draining half of the teapot in a single swig and coughing violently. The captain pried Celestia off of the paralyzed corporal who was quaking violently, convinced that his life had officially just been ended. He poured the remainder into Celestia's mouth as she tried to convince the captain to join her in the fun, causing her to howl as her mouth suddenly burst into flames. She promptly swiped the tea pot, chugging the rest before Luna could take a second drought.

"WHAT HAST THOU DONE TO US?" Luna bellowed at the unfortunate guards as they cowered, fearing for their lives. Luna whirled as Celestia laughed quietly to herself, eyeing the guards with great amusement and blushing deeply. "Hast thou no shame dear sister? You realize we... we were..."

"Oh yes, I'm quite aware. Thank you Captain, Corporal, you are dismissed. Oh, and do keep quiet about this little incident, all right?" she replied calmly, waving them off. The nodded once and hastily made their exit, commanding the four guards that had been waiting outside to take over their post for the time being. They then made straight for the barracks, themselves in desperate need of a strong drink. "Now then Luna, it seems we have be pranked rather mightily. I didn't think Cerulean was the type, but I have been proven quite wrong."

"Cerulean hast done this? The stallion whom Twilight is courting? I'll have his head for this!" she raged, stomping around the room.

"Come now, Luna. Can't you admit it was at least slightly amusing?" Celestia said with a wink.

"Amusing? I do not call frivolous foreplay 'amusing!'" she shouted, throwing open the window and tearing across the skies towards Ponyville.

"Oh dear. I suppose I should warn them," she said, standing with a sigh. Levitating a parchment over she scribbled out a quick warning and sent it away before retiring to her bed. Spike was furiously drying the floors when he exhaled the message.

"To my Faithful Student Twilight,

Cerulean's little ruse did not sit well with my sister who is currently on her way to pay you a visit.
Please find a way to alleviate her fury, lest Cerulean come to harm.

Princess Celestia"

As comprehension dawned on Spike the door was broken from it's hinges as Luna stormed in.

"Where is the knave? I demand to know, where is Cerulean?" she said, making no attempt to hide her fury.

"I don't know, he and Twilight left an hour or so ago!" Spike replied quickly, covering his face and curling into a ball.

"What a perfect end to a crazy day," Cerulean whispered with a contented sigh, kissing Twilight softly on the tip of her muzzle. He laughed quietly as she wrinkled her nose and nuzzled him in return. Twilight had fallen asleep in Cerulean's comforting embrace as he gently stroked her mane, and her soft snores were as calming to him as the quiet of the night. He snuggled deeper into the cloud and closed his eyes, enjoying a fleeting moment of serenity. The tranquility of the moment was suddenly shattered as Luna's voice boomed from below, her royal Canterlot dialect sounding all the world like she was standing right beside them.

"CERULEAN, WE ARE NOT AMUSED!"

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