It is a simple conclusion from the fact that only a small amount of fanfiction stories have editors or at least pre-readers.

But actually, they may want good stories, but it may be difficult to distinguish a bad story from a good one if a person has a little experience.

Illustration: anonymous fanfiction writers. Source.

This must set some kind of record. These are the very first sentences in the chapter:

“I miss you already.”

“I don’t need to leave. I can stay…”

Four words in, and CM + 1. Wow. Even by this series’ standards, wow.

It’s the night before the wedding, and our resident codependent couple is in the middle of a kissing session. Quite a clingy one, too:

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Bella wakes up and is, for some reason, annoyed with herself for having that dream about the immortal child, as if she could control what she dreams. After breakfast, she and Charlie get ready, and Alice arrives to help them put the finishing touches on their clothes and make them look presentable. There’s an interesting bit where Alice mentions that, to keep the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride’s dress before the wedding, she’s been very careful to not think about the dress when

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These four books are at the very top of my Things-I-Never-Want-to-Read-Again List.

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Most of this chapter is a sort of montage/summary of the first three months of Bella’s vampirization. It’s perfect, of course. She claims to take mythology a lot more seriously, which could be interesting, but it’s only so she can make a too-long metaphor about the Fates’ loom and the color of the threads of herself, her family, and her friends. Nessie keeps growing quickly and she’s adorable without having any character. Alice and Rosalie make a scrapbook of her growth to create the

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The reception begins as Bella looks over all the people who’ve come. A lot of it is listing off names of the obligatory guests — friends and family who don’t play much of a role in the rest of the series. In spite of being a werewolf, Seth is genuinely enthusiastic that Bella and Edward got married. They go through the cake-cutting, the pictures, the dancing, everything. (I’m kind of curious who’s the poor schmuck who got stuck serving the beer and wine. When my brother got married, I, being an

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First of all, yes, I am still here. I never left the show behind, and I’m still reading fanfiction.

What happened was that I lost the drive to turn any of my ideas into actual stories. I’d like to turn that around, to reward all of you who have been following me for the past two years without one story or even blog to tide you over.

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So I have an update, but FIRST let me ask you all for your most memorable train riding experiences? I am currently trying to write a shortfic for Viper Pit's Hybrid Story Contest, and I have decided to have it take place on a train. However, having never really been on a train before, I have no experiences of my own that I would like to use for the story.

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Hmm. “Bloodlust” implies a throwdown. Could we actually end this series with a big vampire fight? Here’s hoping!

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Bella and Edward pork all night, and she’s still not satisfied. It takes Edward saying Nessie’s name to snap her out of it. They get changed; we get another mention of how the closet is filled with lotsa clothes and can’t ANYTHING come hard to this couple?! In the middle of changing, we get yet another reminder of how so frigging hot like whoa Edward is that somehow manages to double as a reminder that their sex is TOATELLY GRAET EWE GAIS:

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Bella’s stressing out about everything: the Volturi, Alice’s desertion, the fact that she’ll have to learn how to fight, J. Jenks, the vampires who’ll be coming over, everything. She tries to talk to Edward about it, but before she can get the words out, he’s kissing her. And then she just forgets about asking questions for the night.

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Snide phrase that connects back to the chapter title in some way.

While Jacob and Seth are on patrol, Jacob wonders why the Cullens just don’t take Bella somewhere else, away from Sam. Seth says he’s already asked that; the Cullens have too many medical supplies to transport easily, and collecting them takes a lot of time. This debate takes two whole pages. I hate this book.

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Well, I figured I’d better do something to have more content this week than Being a Better Writer, and I wasn’t feeling another OP-ED today since I’d rather finish another writing project, so how about we talk about that other writing project for a moment?

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Bella gets a new house for her birthday and it’s purty.

That’s it.

I FUCKING HATE THIS BOOK.

Well, okay. That’s not completely it. It does have one of the better Alice moments, where she and Edward have both gotten Bella gifts and each wants to give theirs first:

“I know — I’ll play you for it,” Alice suggested. “Rock, paper, scissors.”

Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.

“Why don’t you just tell me who wins?” Edward said wryly.

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Bella’s so over-the-moon about Edward taking her to Seattle that she’s late for class. She spends the next few hours in an Edward-induced haze. In the cafeteria at lunch, he asks her to sit with him and says he’s giving up trying to avoid her. Even though he still says they should stay away. No, he doesn’t say why. Bella changes the subject, admitting she’s trying to figure out what Edward’s deal is; she guesses a lot of stuff related to superheroes. It goes back and forth for a few pages and

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At school, Bella has to endure comments about her fainting during the blood test, even though someone else also had to be taken to the nurse’s office. One of her friends makes fun of her for it and still expects Bella to tell her about what Edward wanted to talk about during lunch. Oh, and the worst part of the day is that Edward isn’t there (he’s going hunting over the weekend and left early). Seriously, she describes gloom engulfing her. How many times have you talked to him again? Three?

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At home, Bella tries to avoid thinking about Edward, so she… Well, just read this. Stuff like this is why Twilight is as long as it is:

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When Bella wakes up the next morning, it’s incredibly foggy. Edward’s waiting for her in the driveway, ready to take her to school, and we get crap like this:

I noticed that he wore no jacket himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.

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