In Which I Read Twilight: Chapter 10 -- Interrogations · 4:53pm Jan 13th, 2018
When Bella wakes up the next morning, it’s incredibly foggy. Edward’s waiting for her in the driveway, ready to take her to school, and we get crap like this:
I noticed that he wore no jacket himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.
For the love of Celestia, we get it. Edward’s so frigging hot like whoa. We don’t need it to be repeated over and over and over and over and over. STOP FOCUSING ON THAT.
When they get to school, Bella realizes that the other Cullens and the Hales aren’t with him, even though they usually take this particular car. So how are they getting to school?
“They took Rosalie’s car.” He shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red convertible with the top up. “Ostentatious, isn’t it?”
“Um, wow,” I breathed. “If she has that, why does she ride with you?”
“Like I said, it’s ostentatious. We try to blend in.”
“You don’t succeed.” I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the car. I wasn’t late anymore; his lunatic driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. So why did Rosalie drive today if it’s more conspicuous?”
“Hadn’t you noticed? I’m breaking all the rules now.” He met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid he wouldn’t like me to. (Side note: “like me to”? Huh?) “Why do you have cars like that at all?” I wondered aloud. “If you’re looking for privacy?”
“An indulgence,” he admitted with an impish smile. “We all like to drive fast.”
So much wrong.
They buy flashy, expensive cars… when they’re trying to stay inconspicuous. Yeah, way to make sacrifices for your privacy. So they justify it because they like to drive fast. I’ll admit I don’t know much about cars, but couldn’t you modify the engine in a less obvious car to be more powerful? You’ve got the money. Heck, teach yourself to do it on your own. You’ve got the time; you’re immortal!
And this brings up another problem: why are the younger vampires in high school in the first place?
It makes no sense. They’ve undoubtedly already been through it plenty of times. They’ve got nothing more to learn. They don’t socialize with the other “kids”. High school students are still growing up; people might notice if a student doesn’t change from their freshman year to their senior year. They’ve got to keep moving around to avoid attracting attention. Why not go to college? Keep earning degrees. Earn everything. Learn everything you can about the world. What’s that? People will notice that this brilliant student looks awfully young? “I’ve aged well. Good genes. See how so frigging hot like whoa my parents are? Yeah.” Even if they don’t go to college, they still don’t need to go to high school! The “parents” could just say they’re homeschooling their kids! Why is everyone in this story acting like an idiot?!
One of Bella’s friends starts pestering her about Edward. Bella admits that they’re kinda-sorta but not really boyfriend and girlfriend and he’s driving her up to Seattle over the weekend.
“Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous.” Jessica shrugged as if this excused any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. You’re one to talk, Bella. His being unbelievably gorgeous is the only thing you notice. Cold to you? “But he’s so hawt!” Abusive? “But he’s hawt!” Vampire who admits to wanting to drink your blood and keeps saying it’s best for both of you if you stay apart? “But he’s HAWT!” Do the world a favor, Bella, and grow up.
In the cafeteria, there’s an alright scene where Bella dares Edward to eat normal food. He immediately does so, pointing out that she could eat dirt if someone dared her to. In fact, Bella admits that she was dared to… and did it. And it wasn’t that bad. I really want to hear about it, now. Bella needs some character moments like that. (Well, so does everyone, but I don’t think everyone ate dirt.)
After some inane back-and-forth that amounts to “You should leave me.” “But I can’t!” “But you should.” “But I can’t!” three or four times, the conversation drifts to their trip to Seattle. Edward asks if she’d be willing to change her plans; he wants to show her what happens to him in the sun. Bella accepts, but says she’s not telling Charlie about it, because she already told him she’s going alone. Bella. Keeping secrets from your parents like that is a recipe for disaster. When the truth comes out — and it will — it’ll only make everything a lot worse.
Decency comes back when Bella brings up the Cullens’ “hunting” trips. They actually really are hunting. Hunting bears. With their bare teeth. That sounds pretty awesome, so, naturally, we don’t get to see it. More almost-awesomeness ensues when Edward reveals that his favorite is mountain lion. Geez, I really want to read about vampires hunting mountain lions now. Edward even says they’re careful to not reduce the population by much, and only do it in areas that have an overabundance of those animals.
Right before the chapter ends, Edward says he should probably take her hunting with him sometime. When she sees what she’s really like, she’ll be scared, and a dose of fear is just what she needs to think properly about him. I admit I want to see the “scary” side of Edward that he keeps talking about, but given the series, I doubt it’ll ever appear.
Well it apparently does in your literal book, so there!
Having an apparently run-of-the-mill older car (like, say, a Crown Vic) with suped-up components and modernized interior might have been a cool character bit. And the reveal that the apparently almost normal vehicle was an amazing machine could have been a metaphor or something.
The bit with the hunting bears or mountain lions with their teeth would have likely been cooler if it were shown to us. Even a slice-of-life story could do with a little action if it's appropriate, and Edward could have still had a moment to say "See? This is why you should be careful around vampires."
And maybe this would have been better if Edward were cast as an apparent college freshman (apparently 18-20) who showed up at lectures at a large university (where he'd just be a face in a crowd) but never actually enrolled in classes. Heck, maybe make Bella a college freshman herself.
As for the question of "why don't you fear garlic or the sun, and why are you different from other vampires?", I'd probably answer it something like this:
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Not seeing hunting is, I will admit, more a natural consequence of the first-person narration than a problem with Twilight itself. Ideally, the viewpoint character can't be around for every event, so every now and then somebody does something awesome or plot-important that we don't see simply because the POV character isn't there to see it. But there are ways around that; Bella could've been shocked at "BEARS?!", prompting Edward to smirk and give a very visceral description of his last hunt to get the "We're scary" point across. Heck, we could even cheat: Edward starts describing it, Bella says, "His words were so vivid, I could already see it in my mind..." and we shift to third-person for a few paragraphs as Bella imagines what Edward hunting is like.
Just wondering, what is wrong with "like me to?"
She wasn't sure if he would like her to [touch him.]
She easily could have said something like "he wouldn't appreciate it" or "he wouldn't be ok with it," but as is it isn't actually an error.