Another celebration this month: the Flashfic group now has 200 members! Okay, so not all of those are active, but nevertheless I'd like to say thank you to everyone who is or has been here, and indeed to anyone who joins in future. I don't have much to say (So what else is new? --Ed) and so I'll move on to the rules reminder:

Here are the full rules.

Remember, there is no prize, as such, for this contest -- but if you win, you will be able to choose the prompt for the next contest. You'll also get a mention on the group's front page. Even in these days of world-shaking events, some of the most boring features stay reassuringly similar. My capacity to forget what the date is, for example, though for once I've got it right (I hope!) this time around. Onward!

Prompt: "Temples" (selected by last month's winner, JimmySlimmy)
Rating: E or T
Word limit: 150
Closing date: Saturday 21st August 2021, 11:59 pm UK time (world clock)

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me to keep track. Please do not leave feedback until after the closing date.

Entries are now open! Have fun!

7543430
Well, hopefully referencing an actor from the real world does not count as a crossover, otherwise I’ll be forced into writing about Daring Do, and the last time I did that was a nightmare.

I humbly give you

“…And that’s the tour of Ponyville!” Twilight finished as she guided the wayward human back to her crystal abode.

“It’s certainly… Interesting.” They said, still a bit shocked by everything.

“I hope you’ll have a good time here as I work on a way to get you home. In the meantime, why don’t I-“

“TWILIGHT!” A voice screamed out, cutting her off.

Turning around, they saw a short pink Pegasus with a blue curly mane flying in front of the castle, a glowing sword floating at their side.

Twilight’s eyes widened in shock while the human tilted their head in confusion.

“…Is that Shirley Temple?”

“I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, TWI- Wait, Shirley Temple?”

The human shrugged. “Yeah, the actor. You’re short, have a high pitched voice, curly hair… Pretty much the spitting image of her back in the day.”

Cozy Glow decided they would be the first to die.

7543430

Finally, my exploration was at its end. A fitting end for my final Daring Do book, for I have discovered the Great Temples of legends. The black tabernacle in the middle of the Valley of Death was real, and on the horizon, I could see two more. The shul towering before me was riddled with holes. I wondered what natural forces could be at play to produce such wear. I'd geek out even more, but a crack of a pebble behind me shifted my focus.

“Hello,” a pony walking toward me said. "Who in her right mind trespasses our lands willingly?" He had the sun behind him, so I could only see a silhouette, but I was pretty sure I saw a glimpse of wings and a horn.

“I'm Daring Do," I responded. "Exploring is what I do. I thought this place was abandoned.”

Dozens of new winged shapes with horns rose behind the pony.

“Can it be?” I squeaked at the glorious sight and bounced from hoof to hoof, hardly holding back my excitement. "Have I finally found the lost race of Alicorns?"

“Not exactly,” hissed the changeling.

Edit: 13 - The Black Temples

7543430
You would think after writing that Daring Do & Donkey Kong crossover that I would be an expert in exploring temples by now, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I got very lucky to notice a pattern and associate each temple's obstacle to a process in life.

To further the matter, I had nothing for the last temple, not a single gimmick to go off with. ...well...maybe one idea... but I didn't want to deteriorate the tension with this dumb concept I thought of. Not to mention that it would even ruin the logical reasoning of the story's twist.

...it's not a crossover, it's self-promoting with a deleted concept.

"Now the one under the statue."

*FWZZZZZZZZZZZ*

"Break the pot to use this one."

*FWZZZZZZZZZZZ*

"And then.. um... this one!"

*FWZZZZZZZZZZZ*

"Urgh! I was just here!" Daring roars, vibrating the confined room she stands in.

Daring has had her share of puzzles over the years, but this temple's elaborate layout is proving to be too much for her. Pitfalls, lava spills, blade pendulums, she would gladly take all three of them at once if it meant that she didn't have to step on another telepad. Every room has a unique layout with at least five pads to choose from, but they're starting to blend together to Daring. It's futile to leave an insignia either, as the room magically resets itself when she leaves.

After a heavy groan, Daring recollected her determination and tried another panel. Her location shifted and she now stood at the temple's entrance, "...water temples. ...mere foalsplay."

7543430

Wild forest surrounds the robed man, blanketing the land for countless miles in every direction. Only the sounds of nature are heard in this place. Where the man stands no tree has taken root, the soil still remembering hooves on streets.

The man rests leaning on his walking stick, beholding a massive mound of rubble. Where the few rays of sunlight reach, crystal glitters from beneath the thinnest patches of moss. He has come a long way; he can wait a little longer. He takes a biscuit and pure water from his satchel.

Refilled and cleansed, he revently approaches the ruin. He removes his hood, kneels at the very edge, and touches just the heel of each palm to the crystal boulders.

"I pray to you, Twilight Sparkle..."

He does not expect the sad, whispered, reply: Can you tell me, what does it mean to be a good friend?

7543430

Been a while. Let me give it another whirl.
Probs a little inspired by the current Olympics, but here’s my entry:

“One more! One more!” Rainbow chanted as Twilight shakily rose from the previous wing-up.

As Twilight dipped, the unrelenting ache in her wings intensified, and her mind screamed, STOP! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!

“Hold on. I have just the thing!” Rainbow glided to her bookshelf made up of clouds.

Twi dared a glance at it, finding it sparsely populated by Daring Do and workout books. Rainbow flipped to a page and read aloud, “How can a mare die better… than facing fearful odds…”

Twilight finished the sentence, her lungs burning, “for the ashes of her fathers, and the temples of her gods?”

A renewed surge of energy rushed through her. A second calm. She lifted up from the low dip, and rose. With a deep breath she hopped up on her hooves.

“Well done, Twi! You crushed it!” Rainbow said, slapping the book shut and giving Twilight a high-hoof.

To cite my sources, the quote is from Lays of Ancient Rome by Thomas Babington Macaulay, (the quote inside the entry is obviously tweaked for MLP):

How can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods

I hope it is not against the rules to use this quote. And afaik, this is fair to use. Much like quoting Shakespeare or any author whose work is over fifty years of age (public domain). If any of this information is wrong, or is not allowed, let me know, and I’ll delete this.

Five entries by 3rd August! Excellent start!

7543430

Daring Do's Third Most Embarrassing Mistake Ever (A Shortage of Wisdom)

In the depths of a monumental granite maze, Daring Do leaped between different paving stones, each marked with its own symbol or pictogram. As she leaped, she recited to herself, "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, bee...ay!"

One of the wall's stones rotated, exposing a secret chamber.

"Yes!" Daring said. She scooped out exotic gold coins, old documents, and a chalice bedecked with precious stones.

Behind her, a donkey cleared her throat.

Daring spun around. "What? Are you here to congratulate me on solving the Mystery of the Ancient Donkey Temple of Wisdom?"

The donkey snorted. "The Ancient Temple of Donkey Wisdom is half a mile away. This is the Third National Bank of Donkeystan. You just hacked my pin number, and stole everything out of my safety deposit box."

Daring Do blushed. "Sorry," she said. "I always get the Old Donkish runes for wealth and wisdom confused."

I thought there was something fundamentally messed up about an idea encouraged by computer games (and some movies), that a temple is a place where gold and treasures are protected by puzzles and traps, and a temple's main use and purpose is to be robbed by 'archaeologists'treasure hunters.

7543430
Seems like everyone's taking the interpretation of temple as the building. I was going to try coming up with one referring to the part of the head (and I'll leave that out there for someone else to use), but I fell in love with this idea.

This Would Have Been Much Easier If Temple Fugit

The scraping sound began long before I noticed it—a full-bore rumble when I looked up. By then, any ponies outside stared to the left. What sort of monstrosity threatened Ponyville today?

It only got worse; the cacophony morphed into an ungodly shriek.

With too great a distraction for paperwork, I finally stood and peered outside, where a tan pegasus strained her utmost to haul an immense stone structure behind her. Upon spotting me, she wiped the sweat from her brow and trotted over. “Daring Do, at your service. Will this work?”

“I… don’t understand.”

She grinned and pulled out a page of want ads. “Temples needed, top bits paid,” it read.

“Oh dear.” I glanced up at the ostentatious building. “I’m afraid that’s a typo. We’re a temp agency.”

Her face fell. The scraping sound resumed, and it took quite a while to fade away. The cursing took even longer.

7543430
Got a bit of a "Lost Cities" thing going for this one.

High on the eastern side of the Canterhorn, far into the wild zone there lies a deep mountainside cwm and with in its dark depths a ring of mighty, capped stones.

Once a place of pilgrimage, song and dance for the devout of the Most Holy Order of the Moon, the great Lunar Temple has long since been abandoned to silence.

Except, for one night every year for a thousand years.

At moonrise on the night of the eve of the Summer Sun Celebrations, while ponies across Equestria partied with good cheer, a solitary alabaster figure would appear, to walk the sacred path spiraling round the stones to the dark waters of the moon pool at the temples centre, there to bathe under the gaze of the mare in the moon in her full majesty.

To pray and weep for a lost soul.

Then to fade away just before dawn.

7543430

"The body is a temple - and you have defiled yours!" Bulk Biceps switched to a side chest pose, his massive muscles flexing like cabled steel.

Across the green, Tirek twisted around into a rear lat spread. Oil and sweat gleamed in the sun. "Weak excuses for a weak form! A true bodybuilder would never let such trivial concerns stand in their way!"

Bulk shifted, gathering all his muscular mass forward into a looming front double biceps. "That body isn't your own! It's stolen and artificially enhanced - there's nothing in it to be proud of!" His namesake biceps bulged. "YEAH!"

Twilight gagged - hard. "Dear Celestia, I can smell the testosterone. How long have they been at it?"

"Three and a half hours." Applejack paused to loudly sip her drink. "Heavy casualties. Six mares an' two stallions fainted. One nosebleed. An' Big Mac snapped his back tryin' to copy them."

Thank you to everyone who's entered so far! If anyone else wants to put in a story:

Just over 39 hours to go!

7543654 7543712 7543760 7543763 7545295 7545530 7545952 7547867 7550948

Okay, everyone, your time is up! Thank you to all who had a go this month -- good to see entry numbers up again, for a prompt I'll confess I thought people might find a bit tricky. Anyway, as ever it'll be a few days now until the results post, so in the meantime please do leave feedback on each other's fics if you wish. You don't have to have entered a story to do this.

Feedback is open!

KwirkyJ eats the red pen!!!

7543654
Irate, omnicidal, sword-wielding Shirley Temple is still adorable!

7543712
After an action-packed, pitched battle of wits, our intrepid hero emerged victorious with the Green Crystal Shard and three new leads!

7543760
Higher-dimensional topology is a harsh mistress!

7543763
Things are very different since the Human uprising of the late nineties!

7545295
It's like an inspirational poster but in poem form!

7545530
Silly pony, gold is wisdom!

7545952
Hard work hardly prospers!

7547867
My sister my sister, I never appreciated you and now you're gone!

7550948
Onegai MUSCLE!
(ETA: shitto, it isn't subbed! Missing such gems as 'your pecs harbor a fierce deity!'):

Ack, totally missed this one. I was so hyped for this prompt too!

7550948
This is the winning entry, I can feel it.
The humor is spot on. The similes are poignant and sweaty. The utilization of Bulk Biceps, a lesser and often forgotten side character, against Tirek is unexpected but perfectly adapted for this scene. I would say that the connection to the theme is tenuous, except that the first line

The body is a temple...

solves that problem. The only question I have is why "Adonis?"

7547867

a solitary alabaster figure

The mystery of this had me rereading this fic a couple times. With the clues focused towards the middle and end of the fic, it's easy to miss the middle ones which is great for rereadability.
Of course now that I know the answer it's pretty obvious and I imagine a lot of people got it first read, but still!

I'd definitely argue that "to bathe under the gaze of the mare in the moon in her full majesty," implies that this pony is a long lost devotee to Luna or Nightmare moon. This line played a large role in setting my expectations for who the albino pony could've been.

"To pray and weep for a lost soul." This was the line that made things click for me. I'm not sure why, but the sentiment seemed to fit perfectly. Although I will bring up the fact that if Luna is holy herself, then for this character to pray implies an even greater hierarchy. And lo, the problem of having so few words shows itself: I want more.

Also, bonus points for "cwm" which is apparently an actual word. The scenery was cool too and seemed vague enough first read, but gradually built clarity with subsequent reads.

7543654

Twilight’s eyes widened in shock while the human tilted their head in confusion.

I have to admit the first time I read this I was super confused because I interpreted this line as meaning Twilight was the human. It might help to make "the human" into "the Human" for clarity's sake? Or just give them a name. The pronouns "They" and "them" are very confusing because they typically refer to a group of people, so when using them to talk about a single ungendered person you need to be very careful such that the meaning comes across clearly.

7543654
Hmm. The comedic situation is easy enough to understand, but it's kind of predicated on Cozy Glow somehow knowing who Shirley Temple is. Nice take on the prompt. You're making a common grammatical mistake: when a speech tag follows dialogue, numerous authors mistakenly punctuate/capitalize like this:
"Hello." She said.
But it's supposed to look like this:
"Hello," she said.

7543712
I'd be curious what sort of timeline this takes place in. Before or after the Canterlot Invasion, since everyone but Celestia seemed ignorant of their existence, though Daring Do's travels would certainly expose her to more than most ponies. There's a conflict set up, but you might have done well to at least suggest a direction for its resolution. It sounds menacing, but these may be Thorax-era changelings.

7543760
I'm guessing you have to be familiar with Zelda to understand this, which I'm not. The construction is fine, but you do change tenses.

7543763
The atmosphere here is well done, but I'm not sure what happened, that Twilight's era seems long gone yet she's responding, why a human is visiting, and why Twilight seems to be asking the human for advice. Nor do I get the significance of her question, beyond it being striking that she's the one asking it.

7545295
I'm not sure I've seen a story of Dash putting Twilight through the paces of physical training before. No plot to it, but it works as a scene.

7545530
I'm a little confused as to how Daring mixed them up, when what she got out of the vault was more wealth than wisdom, but okay. A lot of people know that cheat code, but I wonder how many have actually played the game (I still have it). Might need to lampshade why a bank would have looked deserted or why Daring wasn't surprised to see multiple donkeys hanging around.

7545952
Hack. Batman: TAS already made that "temple fugit" joke.

7547867
You're good on atmosphere, but I'm a little foggy on what actually happened, with Celestia fading away. Makes it seem like she's a ghost. Plus mourning her sister is well-trod ground, so it'd really help to add some detail that sets your vision of it apart. The setting kind of soes already, but some detail of the emotional attachment. Probably my favorite of the entries.

7550948
Funny flex-off. I like the humor, though maybe less is more would have been better for the ridiculousness factor. Like Big Mac spraining or throwing out his back, not snapping it (which would presumably cause serious medical issues that Applejack wouldn't be so flippant about).

7556506

. Like Big Mac spraining or throwing out his back, not snapping it

That actually was the original. I needed to trim, like, two words and that happened to be where the knife fell.

7556281

The only question I have is why "Adonis?"

...You ever have one of those things where it made absolute perfect sense at the time, but looking back you have no idea why?

7556506

Twilight's era seems long gone yet she's responding

The telepathic rock is surely not a phylactery... right?
I was on the fence about that last paragraph, but ultimately committed to it -- it makes as much sense as everything else about the piece (and I do have 'answers' in mind for all those questions, just perhaps not good ones and the text won't answer). My goal with this was more to incite wonder than to explain everything.

7556524
Ah, okay. That makes sense. Sometimes it's interesting to be on the vague side and see what other people invent from your story.

7556506

I'm guessing you have to be familiar with Zelda to understand this

Or just action-adventure platformers that rely on puzzle mechanics. Alundra, Brave Fencer Musashi, Equinox, Light Crusader, anything that involves traversing through a series of room that require you to place some thought into reaching the next area.

Water themed levels in general are notorious for being some of the toughest ones out there as you have to dive into some complex setups that involve slow movements, altered gravity, and needed requirements such as breathing and swimming. But I think a level filled with a theme of magic would be even tougher if they were explored more. Inverted controls, flipped cameras, illusions, size manipulating, and teleportation just to name a few ideas, but it would be better to experience through a game than it would be through reading about it.

7556281
I understand your confusion about it. It was mostly to save space by not giving them a name, so as to not have to introduce another character into the fray.

7556506

There's a conflict set up, but you might have done well to at least suggest a direction for its resolution.

I gave hints with:

"Who in her right mind trespasses our lands willingly?"

The shul towering before me was riddled with holes.

and

hissed the changeling.

But it's still opened enough to the interpretation for you to imagine a happy resolution if you want.

7556506
In 150 words? I'm not that good, in fact I'm just not that good.
The fic came from a story I was playing around a year or so ago, but couldn't get to work about Celestia taking Twilight to the Lunar temple just before dispatching her to Ponyville

7556613
It wouldn't have to take much word count to do. I'll make up an example.

The nice thing about writing in a fandom is you don't have to explain canon situations. You're taking advantage of that as well; the reader only needs the context of Celestia looking upset while visiting a lunar monument to get the gist of what's going on. So instead of a writer saying that Celestia looks up longingly at the moon (a common and expected event), have her notice a detail about the stone, or have her do something that implies a history, like putting a pair of foal-sized horseshoes there. That kind of thing catches readers by surprise and really makes your story memorable, and the word cost is minimal.

In your case, the phrasings tend to be wordy, which does its own thing to create mood, but could potentially be traded off some. And the description of ponies partying for the sun could be traded off as well, since it could be left implied (the reader already knows what a big deal the Summer Sun Celebration is).

Keep in mind, I'm often coming at these from a "how do you make this the best it could be" perspective, as if you wanted to submit it to a flash fiction magazine, which isn't always (or even usually?) the attitude the author's taking with it. Heck, there are many of these where I just wrote something in 10 minutes and submitted it unedited.

Keep in mind, I'm often coming at these from a "how do you make this the best it could be" perspective, as if you wanted to submit it to a flash fiction magazine, which isn't always (or even usually?) the attitude the author's taking with it. Heck, there are many of these where I just wrote something in 10 minutes and submitted it unedited.

This is often how I approach reviews as well, usually one or both of 1- pointing out technical or conceptual faults, or 2- digging deep into why something is effective or not -- note that this is emphatically not the case for my feedback so far this month (as it seems more to piss folks off and I'm not in a place to handle that right now).

As for how I write my FF150 entries... wide variation in time dedicated to thinking and writing, but there is enough time (nearly a whole month for at most 150 words!) that nearly no submission of mine goes in un-edited from first pass, even if it's only correcting a technical error or changing a handful of words.

Take my entry this month: sure, it doesn't go anywhere (scene not story is a chronic shortcoming of mine), but it is assuredly well-crafted, sensorily rich, and (potentially) intellectually evocative -- attributes present because I took time to think (and write-and-revise) and find what worked to communicate what I wanted. The setting and events should be very clear... what it means is locked away safely in my mind intentionally left to the reader.

7556830
For sale: foal-sized horseshoes, never worn.

7543654 7543712 7543760 7543763 7545295 7545530 7545952 7547867 7550948

Righty-ho, it's results time. I think there are enough entries this month for an honourable mention as well as the winner. That made the choosing even tougher than usual -- you do make my job tricky, people! Right, so:

Hon mensh: Pascoite -- it's a very silly pun (and okay, as you say it's been used before), but the story amused me greatly. I like the use of first person, too. Gave it a slightly different texture from a third-person approach. I literally laughed out loud reading this one. That may of course say something about me and my simple sense of humour, but oh well.

Winner: Somerset Cider -- I adored the atmosphere here. I know it's not strictly a Lost Cities story, but getting that kind of feel in 150 words impressed me. My only mild criticism is that "alabaster" is a word that kind of breaks up the smooth flow of that passage. Maybe something simpler like "pale" might have worked? But it's only a mild criticism, as I say. I still found this piece rather haunting, and nicely different, which is not something I often get to say about this particular relationship.

Congratulations. Somerset Cider, your task now, should you choose to accept it, is to devise the September prompt. Please post it here when you're ready. Thank you to everyone who participated this month!

7557651
By 'eck, that's unexpected! I shall go to the bottom of our stairs, so I shall.
Honestly, this fic really was the pickings of an abandoned story idea, perchance one I may just give a revisit.
Hmmm, as for next month. As I am currently at work (sitting in my 230hp tractor) and we are in the middle of harvesting how about "meanwhile, down on the farm...." for the next prompt?

7557744
Sounds like Big Mac is going to get some use next month.

7557744
I hope the bottom of your stairs isn't too far to walk!

Anyway, that sounds like a fun prompt. Thanks; it is hereby accepted!

7557847
CMC shenanigans?

7557947
Well, that, or taking a look at cousin Braeburn.

7558036
Or Cherry Jubilee!

--Sweetie Belle

7558106
Or a certain rock farm!