5956967
Thanks! And I do know it's been done plenty of times before. I'm sure I've read some of 'em.

Actually, I was feeling pretty much at a loss for what to write for this prompt initially. So when this popped into my head, I decided I was gonna sit down and write it that day, to make sure I did it. So I went from not being sure I was going to think of something to being the first one to post a story because of that.

5957140
It might have been better with more than 150 words, though I think that's gonna be a bit of a trend with me.

And yeah, I wasn't really thinking a grumpy teenager. From what I remember, in Ticket Master, Spike acted like he didn't want a ticket to the Gala when Twilight was trying to decide who to give his ticket to, then was pretty happy about having his own ticket at the end. Then at the Gala, he was all "Yeah! This is going to be the best night ever, because we're all going to spend time together!", right as everypony took off and left him alone. He also didn't seem to actually be at Gummy's birthday party in Party of One, for some reason, and if he wasn't there once, I figured he might not be there again...

I'm sure it can be explained away, but that's the type of thing I was thinking about at the time.

I was trying for his actual dialogue at the end to sound like something he might say on the show, though I'm not sure how well that worked.

--Sweetie Belle

5957200
Hah, so it is! I didn't even catch that. Well done, there.

5957140

Heh, Thanks anyway

5956652 What did I just...?

You know what? I don't even know. Do I want to know?

I don't even know if I want to know.

All I know, is that I liked it. And that it didn't have much crying, but quite a bit of laughter. It could use more crying, or implications that one would be crying if they weren't laughing, to better suit the prompt.

In all seriousness, this one was quite fun!

5956815 This was a very interesting take on the prompt. However, due to the lack of dialog, it left the whole thing feeling a little bit detached. I don't know where you could have added dialog, or even whether you'd want to change that at all, as the feeling of detachment must have been what Luna felt as she faded from the world and was replaced by Nightmare Moon, but it did dampen the emotional impact of the piece a little bit for me.

Well written, though! And again, very interesting take on the prompt.

5956842 Interesting story- Only issue is that it took me a few read-throughs to understand which parts were in the past versus the present. Also, I didn't get much emotional impact from the story. It was interesting and enjoyable to read; it just didn't give me much emotional connection to Chrysalis. This piece could really use a backstory in which we connect to Chrysalis emotionally in order to experience the full impact of these events to her.

5956856 I didn't really understand this piece at all. I don't know why he has the grafts, I don't know what he's done three times, and I don't understand the meaning of his cutie mark. However, I think that that's more of my missing the point and subtle context than your failure to deliver it. I'm sure that many other readers did understand what you meant.

That being said, this is a reminder that even when you think your subtle, or not-so-subtle, message is clear, there will always be somebody denser than you thought they'd be who misses the point completely.

5956919 I feel like my level of understanding what's going on is depleting as I read more and more stories. Pity, it may be that I'm having a harder time analyzing the more I've already done so far, but I digress. I haven't read the comics, I feel that plays a major role in not understanding this one, but what's wrong with his face? Why is it being destroyed by his tears? Or was that just a metaphorical face that was destroyed? I also don't understand what exactly he's doing to the pony, or why, but again, that's probably a function of me having not read the comics.

However, I still feel like it satisfies the prompt, even with my ignorance, as even if the details don't come across to me perfectly, the meaning and mood still come through just fine. I did enjoy this one quite a bit.

Thinking about this again... A tear, like crying, or a tear, like tearing paper? That would explain my confusion about the specifics... Or maybe, it's effectively both. A metaphorical tear to go along with a literal tear.

5956939 Very interesting take on this! Played completely positively- and yet, still following the prompt to a T! However, I felt that it was more of just a random story that satisfies the prompt- it doesn't develop a character, or provide any sort of greater idea, or give insight into how a character works, or anything. Personally, I would have preferred something that does provide one of those things, or something similar but still thought-provoking.

Also, the story feels very 'thin' to me– probably because you had to cut so much out of it. It'd probably make a better scene from a larger story, especially if it had more purpose in the context of that larger story.

I did still like reading what you wrote, though!

And that's all, folks! Wow, that took a lot more out of me than I expected it to. Feedback on my feedback is welcome!

5957155 Actually, with the new context you provided, everything fits into place properly. Really, this excerpt just needed the backstory provided in your full story! It'll make a great part of the story, which, if this excerpt is anything to judge by, will end up being a great story on a whole!

The only thing that I still think should be changed in your full story would be the use of 'the weapon'. With the new context, it'll be little more than odd phrasing, but still, better to have good phrasing than odd phrasing.

5957140 I see what you mean about it feeling like an 'except' of something as opposed to a self-contained story. It was meant to be a heartwarming/bittersweet AU version of Twilight and Celestia becoming acquainted, but I did write it a little on the short side. I feel like I could have made it feel less like an excerpt if I had taken more time and lengthened it a bit– it clocked in at ~80 words, so I had plenty of room.

5957006 Glad you enjoyed it! I was actually trying to do something with the start too.

As 5957140 asks, (SPOILERS FOR EXPLANATION) Rarity is beating down her jealousy that Sweetie Belle is living out her own dreams: being praised and well-known all over Equestria, and on top of that marrying a handsome and well-connected stallion. Meanwhile (by implication) Rarity herself doesn't have any of that. I hope something like that came through?

If it wasn't a flashfic, I would've expanded things... but then, if it wasn't a flashfic and wasn't for this contest, I don't think I would've been pushed to post it in the first place.

5956961
Two seconds? Bah! I thought I had at least ten!

In all seriousness, though, that was some poor planning on my part. I had an idea since the prompt went live, but I got to writing it only recently. I had a rough draft on Saturday morning, then I went for a grill party, had fun, went for a music festival on the following day, had fun, then sat in front of a screen with maybe an hour until deadline. I was actually done less than a minute before closing, something like that. Good thing I had this thread already opened!

5957140
Hm, the only context one would need here is that the two characters are orphans, and that one of them is getting adopted (and that's covered in the story, I guess?). My apologies if I didn't convey it well enough. Nonetheless, I'm glad you've found it worthwhile, thank you.

5957282 That general idea definitely came through- just not the bit from the first sentence of your story! You did a good job of this.

5957275 Ah! I understand. I haven't participated in any contests other then this one, actually, so I hadn't know you'd participated in the Write Off.

No problem for the single line. I try my best.

5957352 I'll definately be checking it out, thank you! It sounds interesting. I agree; I'm glad to see these contests, but most contest-focused groups I find are long dead. Do you know where I could find a few other lives ones, in addition to the WriteOff?

5930389
Following the trope of the unwanted Spike, that's interesting even though it isn't new. The simple dialog and sentences deliver the conflict nicely and it is resolved too, so the story works. My nitpick would be with the last sentence

And then he was all alone. Again.

Not with what is said but with how it is said. I can't really put my finger on it but I got the impression that the 'then' is out of place. All the dialog and the narration before are in a slow pace (which fit the idea, I think) but the 'then' kinda breaks that flow. Just like if you remembered that you had to end the story and didn't have many words left.

5931991
I liked it, an interesting take on the prompt with Pinkie being old and not remembering everything (one of her worst nightmares I guess, since she's so eager to learn every little preference of each pony). The pace is nice on the use of ellipsis really helps to convey Pinkie's confusion.
My nitpick would be with the names. The nurse calls her Ms. Pie but she thinks that no, her name is Pinkamena. Her full name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, so unless she forgot her own family name, she shouldn't be bothered by the nurse calling her Ms. Pie but rather by the nurse calling her Pinkie. Or if you want to keep the nurse calling her Ms. Pie, maybe she should think that Ms. Pie is her mum's name, not hers.

5936907
I don't really know what to say about this one. The conflict, while simple, is still interesting to cover. When I look at the story, I can't really point any flaws or any nitpick, the writting feels solid and consistent. However, I didn't feel engage by it and I can't put my finger on why. Sorry about that, I wish I had better things to say, either good or bad.

5956986
5957140

Thanks for the feedback! I know it seems a fair bit forced at times, but that's all due to the world limit and me having to cut it down many times.

I'm actually working on making it a full story though. I felt like the idea behind it was pretty nifty, and so I went and started working on a full version of it. It's only going to be one chapter with ~5k words but still. Better than this short version, I guess.

Thanks anyway! Much obliged

5957265

Basically, his tears are caustic. He can't cry without risk of melting his face off.

His special talent is standup, and he cried from laughing too much at a show.

5957592 That's... horrifying. But with that context, the rest of the story makes a lot more sense! I can see how this embodies the prompt much better now, and the whole story makes more sense.

5957399 Dang, what a pity. I'll still check out the WriteOff soon though!

5957383 No problem I look forward to reading the full story!

5957917

Just a bit terrifying

Crap, I forgot about this. Better get to it tonight before the event is over.

5930389
Hm. This one created a nice sentiment, but it's a hard one to justify in this much space. There's a whole genre of "poor Spike" fics out there, and the one thing most of them suffer from is ignoring canon and reading all kinds of hurtful behavior where none was intended. Like I can't believe Pinkie would send an invitation to Twilight and never mention Spike or send him his own invitation. She's the one with all those files, after all. You just don't have the word count to build up why Spike is neglected, so I have to take it for granted.

So that's my rant. There's not a lot you can do about that in 150 words, but for better or worse, it's going to come across as one of those. What I do like here is that you do have a full story arc where there's a conflict introduced and dealt with. It's a little on the explain-y side of saying exactly how Spike feels instead of implying it, but there is a satisfying feel that I've read a complete story. This one's pretty good.

5931991
Another hm. This sets up a scenario but doesn't explore it or draw a conclusion from it. Pinkie's in a hospital, but we don't know why or how, and there's no apparent path for anything to happen from it. And the first sentence has a comma splice. On the plus side, it makes good use of narrative voice to show Pinkie's disorientation, and to a degree, an unreliable narrator. This is more atmosphere than any sort of plot, but that's not a requirement. Another good read.

5936907
Heh. Just calling her "Starlight" to save yourself a word. I'll generally use the full name the first time, then shorten it afterward, unless it's a name like Sweetie Belle that just sounds weird to me when it doesn't appear fully. Anyway.

"Her fear of leaving." It wouldn't have taken much word count to show this rather than tell it, and you do have places where you could have traded off word count. Like "newly arrived," for instance. If ponies are getting off the train, that'll be presumed anyway. Bit of an editing slip with some dialogue mechanics. I like the mood here, but it's almost too subtle. Starlight's obvious upset about leaving, so there's a conflict. But we don't know the nature of it. Does Starlight feel like Twilight's getting rid of her? Or has she come to see Ponyville as home now, and she doesn't want to leave it? Something else? As it is, she's just generically sad. You do have a good character dynamic. Starlight's generally pretty assertive, yet she gets easily intimidated by Twilight, and you've picked up on that and portrayed it well.

5953913
Nitpick, but if they're really calling Celestia a queen, the correct honorific is "Her Majesty." It gets a bit grating to have every sentence end in an exclamation mark. When everything's emphasized, effectively nothing is. "That pony which" should be "that pony who."

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get from this. Given the prompt, I'm guessing that Celestia is doing this to distract herself from being sad about Luna, but I didn't get that from the story at all. It didn't occur to me until after I read it. It's a bold choice to have the entire conflict be implied, and I do applaud you for that, but again, had it not been for the prompt, I would have missed it entirely. Great use of language here, and not many people can get the archaic forms right. Another nitpick, but a speaker is never identified, and there's no narration, so I think you would have been fine leaving all the quotation marks off. For me, this was kind of a fridge horror piece, as I didn't realize the significance until afterward, but I don't think it's intended to be such. This has the best word-crafting so far.

5953942
Hm. I like the scene here, and it's not impossible for it to fit canon. I would tend to think it doesn't since the characters don't act like they'd had any other interactions before Twilight attended school, other than the one Summer Sun Celebration and Twilight's entrance exam. But they don't explicitly say otherwise, either. I'm also a little doubtful that nobody would ever get Celestia a present, unless it's one of those situations where everyone assumes someone else has, or maybe if they're all too intimidated by her. Twilight's very cute here, and I can totally see her just deciding a birthday present is a required occurrence, the fact that she doesn't know a date notwithstanding. Perhaps if she mentioned trying to research it, though? Sounds like something she'd do. There's even some implied character growth. Nice and cute.

5954907
Good character voicing here. I do question the bit about the cutie marks. On the one hand, it's irrelevant to the story's conflict, and in a story this short, you don't have space for irrelevant information. On the other, this is the kind of detail that brings a scene to life, when you have more room to include it, because it creates the feel that there's a bigger world than the bit the plot is focused on. I'd like a little more picture of Rarity's impression of this young colt. If Sweetie Belle is that interested in him, she must have spoken of him before. This isn't the first time she's seen him, but the only evidence of Rarity's position is being guilty by association with Blueblood, not anything Thoroughblood has done to earn his own reputation. Plus Rarity's not the type to hold her tongue. If she really thinks he's problematic, she'd readily tell her sister. So I think you could have traded off those words used for cutie marks to go into more of Rarity's thoughts about him and how she arrived at them. Still, there's a nice scene here, and Sweetie Belle's voice is done well.

5955566
The language here is great, and I like Dash's wistful mood. The problem here is I don't understand why she has it. She flies all the time, and if that's what she wanted to do, she could have been flying instead of daydreaming. What's keeping her from doing so? I have no idea why she'd be regretful. I don't know what these "irreconcilable worlds" are. She likes to fly, but what's the other thing? I'd say more, but I'm afraid I just don't understand this one.

5955580
Of course you'd write poetry.

I'm terrible at reading between the lines, but I'm getting unrequited Raripie from this. (Damn, that's the first time I've ever typed that, and now it bugs me how much it looks like 'rape.') If I have one complaint, it's that the time skip at the end is a little odd, or if it isn't a time skip, that the first 10 lines were a reminiscence and not live. In any case, this was wonderfully expressive and my favorite entry.

5955644
No feedback requested!

5955846
On the comedic side, this was nice. Plus sisterly love is always a great thing to see. On the plot side, however, I don't get the motivation, either why Chrysalis is targeting these two in particular, and why she's got this obsession with breaking Maud. That's a conceit you do see in action movies sometimes, where it's not enough to win, but Chrysalis isn't built up like that in canon, so it's not an assumed characteristic, and there's no in-story explanation of why she'd be that way. If you can buy the setup, this is good, and the Pie sisters are very in character.

5956203
I don't get why Luna starts with modern speech then reverts to archaic speech. And I have no idea what happened. Is he trying to lighten the mood for Luna? If not, this takes an oddly comic turn, and in either case, I don't get the joke. Has Celestia been poisoned or something? I don't know why else she might be sick, and even that wouldn't have anything to do with a gag reflex. That's the bottom line for me. I can't understand what happened, if there's a joke, or why it's funny, but up until that point, this had great atmosphere and elegantly crafted sentences. Why haven't you posted any stories on your account? You really should be writing.

5956652
Yipe, didn't you learn your lesson last time, writing something that required knowledge of something else to make sense? I haven't read Posh's story, and it's a lot longer than the original write-off entry, ensuring I never will. Anyway. I like the setup, but I'm afraid I don't get the joke. "The mare looked at him plaintively" makes it ambiguous who's speaking in that paragraph, Then if she's really frightened enough to faint, I don't know why she'd laugh. There's something to be said for comedic license, but it doesn't quite make sense to me. I guess the filly throwing sand is just supposed to show she's unfazed, but I was halfway expecting her to throw it at the eye. But yeah, this is really predicated on knowing something about Posh's fic, or it's going to seem really random as to why this eye is even in the story.

5956815
A bit more scene than story, but this is not bad at all. Contrast how we have to read Luna's emotions through her actions with how we're outright told that Celestia had "an expression of utter horror and sadness." The former is more effective, and you had word count to spare, as the early part of the story effectively says the same thing 2 or 3 times. Lots of vivid imagery here, though, and it creates the atmosphere well. This one would be pretty high on my list.

5956842
Again, I don't read between the lines too well, but what I think I'm reading is Chrysalis alone and bitter now, imagining if she'd been able to defeat Starlight. Very nice imagery and atmosphere. If I have one complaint, it's that the sentence structure gets repetitive. Minimalism aside, variety is still nice, and a lot of your sentences have identical structure and similar length. Out of 17 sentences, 13 start with the subject, and 7 of those subjects are "she." Another of my favorite entries.

5956856
This is bizarre. I like it, but it's bizarre. So the pony's talent is apparently stand-up comedy, but it's not really show-tone for him to have caustic tears, and I don't get why he would. It's just there... why? It does put him in a strange dichotomy where he uses humor to try to keep from crying, but sometimes humor is the very thing that brings tears. So kudos for introducing a very interesting conflict, but then that tension doesn't lead anywhere, instead ending on kind of a punchline. Which is strangely appropriate, I guess, considering the character. This one stuck with me.

5956919
shut ur face

5956939
Low-stakes joke, but it's an effective punchline. Obvious, as soon as the quesadilla is mentioned, but still show-tone comedy. A few spots that need editing. Not much to say about this one, as it's very simple and does what it's trying to do.

5956944
No feedback requested.

5960123
Ah, it does have a comma splice... thanks for catching that .

5960123

didn't you learn your lesson last time

Never. Err wait, there was more to what you said...

writing something that required knowledge of something else to make sense

What can I say, every once in a while a story needs riffing on. Though as I think about it, maybe Horizon's Never The Final Word collection would make more sense for something like this... I'll have to consider that next time I have an idea of this nature.

5960123 Yeah, I kind of left whether it was canon or not intentionally ambiguous, as having it be an AU in and of itself would serve no point without larger context, and yet the scene itself has a few traits that make it slightly off-canon.

In hindsight, I could have made it entirely canon compatible if I was a little more careful.

Also, I definately should have included an extra line about researching her birthday and nopony at all knowing when it was- not only would it be very Twilight, but it would also strengthen the idea of nobody having given Celestia a birthday present.

Thank you!

5960123

Hm. This one created a nice sentiment, but it's a hard one to justify in this much space. There's a whole genre of "poor Spike" fics out there, and the one thing most of them suffer from is ignoring canon and reading all kinds of hurtful behavior where none was intended. Like I can't believe Pinkie would send an invitation to Twilight and never mention Spike or send him his own invitation. She's the one with all those files, after all. You just don't have the word count to build up why Spike is neglected, so I have to take it for granted.

Yeah, 150 words isn't long enough to justify anything, really. If I was, I might bring up the Ticket Master, where most of the plot was which one of Twilight's friends she was going to give Spike's ticket to, Party of One, where Spike wasn't at Gummy's birthday party, though he was around later in the episode, and At the Gala, where Spike's looking forward to spending his time with the six of them, and they all leave mid-sentence while he's saying that.

If I were fleshing it out and writing a full story about it, though, Spike would also be exaggerating how often it happens, and it would be a matter of being taken for granted that he'd be there if Twilight was, and not noticing when he wasn't. Not anything malicious, just they aren't as good friends with him as Twilight, and are usually focusing on her when both of them are around. Pinkie might even have been getting the impression that he wasn't interested in the parties, and leaving him off the guest list because of that. That's the trouble with only having one characters side of the story...

I could probably manage to justify it with more words, but I agree I'd have to build it up, and in a lot of cases, it's more likely the writers or animators forgetting things, though I could probably make my interpretation feel reasonable. Rather than actually fleshing out the story, I'll probably just point anypony that likes lonely Spike at 8686's A Friend of a Friend, though.

So that's my rant. There's not a lot you can do about that in 150 words, but for better or worse, it's going to come across as one of those. What I do like here is that you do have a full story arc where there's a conflict introduced and dealt with. It's a little on the explain-y side of saying exactly how Spike feels instead of implying it, but there is a satisfying feel that I've read a complete story. This one's pretty good.

Thanks. I was happy to have something that feels more complete as a story then as a scene. I did have to omit some things I'd rather have written, but it works.

5957365

Following the trope of the unwanted Spike, that's interesting even though it isn't new. The simple dialog and sentences deliver the conflict nicely and it is resolved too, so the story works. My nitpick would be with the last sentence

And then he was all alone. Again.

Not with what is said but with how it is said. I can't really put my finger on it but I got the impression that the 'then' is out of place. All the dialog and the narration before are in a slow pace (which fit the idea, I think) but the 'then' kinda breaks that flow. Just like if you remembered that you had to end the story and didn't have many words left.

You know, I remember I wanted to write Twilight actually leaving and his shifting gears there, but I didn't have enough space, and didn't have anything I felt good about removing elsewhere, so I could see that. And the "then" might have gotten slashed out of the sentence if I was doing another pass. It might have been improved with another paragraph or two, though, if I had more words.

--Sweetie Belle

5960123
Feel free to share some if you so desire. I didn't request feedback only because I was submitting the entry right before closing and couldn't spare two seconds to slap a "feedback welcome" sticker on it.

5960358 Literally speaking, you couldn't spare two seconds, if I recall. That entry was impeccable timing!

5960530
That's what you get when you procrastinate but still need that "saved the day in the last second" feel to up your rep.

5955846
The scene definitely works and I enjoyed it but, I don't know, it sounded a bit too telly for me. And I don't really know how you could have avoided that without adding more words.

5956815
My favorite so far. A good take on the prompt. Good job. Wish I had more to say.

5957140

Give me an adventure fic out of this, right now. It is a great set up for one, and I expect the first chapter written within a week.

*You don't even know me at all, don't understand the meaning of my fall*
Oh I have an idea, Rainbow Dash could fly west, that sure will be original...
Thank you anyway. I don't know what I will do with that story but maybe I could indeed expand it a little.

5960123

The language here is great, and I like Dash's wistful mood. The problem here is I don't understand why she has it. She flies all the time, and if that's what she wanted to do, she could have been flying instead of daydreaming. What's keeping her from doing so? I have no idea why she'd be regretful. I don't know what these "irreconcilable worlds" are. She likes to fly, but what's the other thing? I'd say more, but I'm afraid I just don't understand this one.

Well, once again, I wasn't enough obvious with the conflict. I often try to be subtle and usually end with confusing the readers.
Rainbow Dash's urge to fly is not what she usually does. It's not simply flying, she craved adventure, she wants to explore the world but she has all her life here in Ponyville; her friends, her job, her 'sister'. These are the two irreconilable worlds. As the element of Loyalty, she can't just leave them here to go on an adventure. Thus, she smiles to hide that 'pain' to the others.

5930389 5931991 5936907 5953913 5953942 5954907 5955566 5955580 5955644 5955846 5956203 5956652 5956815 5956842 5956856 5956919 5956939 5956944

It's just about Thursday here in the UK, so here are the results! As usual, the winning entry was decided on one criterion only: how much I liked each fic. Note that Pascoite, as last month's winner, was ineligible to win this time.

Thank you to everyone who contributed! By coincidence, we had 18 entries, the same number as in April, though that included some new authors. Welcome to you! Pascoite provided an interesting prompt which produced a wide range of interpretations. A few stretched the prompt a bit, but that's what you expect in these events. Suffice to say I had a good time reading these. It was notable how often Luna appeared, something I hadn't expected but probably should have.

As happened last month, I'm giving two honourable mentions before I name the winner. Hon Mensh 1 goes to AugieDog for his sonnet. Not only a clever format, but a fairly unusual pair of characters as well. Hon Mensh 2 goes to Quixotic Quill. Silly and cute, and I often like a bit of silly and cute.

The winner this month is PostNinja. It's a small scene, but a pretty vivid one that stuck with me after I read it. Congratulations!

PostNinja, you now have until the end of this month to decide on the June prompt. When you've decided, please post that prompt in this thread.

Congrats, PostNinja!

(You'll probably see this someday... I hope).

5957038
5960123
5961355

Thanks, folks!

And congrats to Quixotic Quill and PostNinja. I'm sorry I didn't manage to leave any comments...

Mike

5961355

Oh man, I certainly didn't see this one coming.

It does make me happy though, I never thought that mine would stick out of all the other cool entries people in here posted.

After a bit of pondering, here is what I decided on for the next prompt:

"Wouldn't be caught dead"

5963299 Thanks! That looks like an interesting prompt. I'll put up the thread on 1st June. Congrats again!

5960123
My apologies for not noticing the response. I didn't mean to ignore you.

The scene I tried to depict was the aftermath of an assassination attempt on Celestia during a public appearance on Earth, though the Earth is a dystopian AU that diverged from ours a few decades back. She was shot, and that is why she is accompanied by a human hardcase who has an automatic weapon balanced lightly across his knees and an assortment of bloodied bandages, having given rather better than he got but failed in his primary objective to keep his charge safe. She has just come out of surgery, in a human hospital where they had to duct-tape the frames of a pair of human-sized beds together to accommodate her half-ton form in the recovery room. I'd have done all of Luna's speech in 17th Century idiom except that I wasn't sure how to write her first words that way and make it recognizable, understandable, and visibly, noticeably archaic, without eating up too much of the 150 word limit--and this is a Luna from my headcanon, which is borrowed from some other writers', who has learned modern English but reverts to Shakespearean talk when she is upset, just as persons who speak more than one language may at moments of extreme stress switch back to their native tongues. And her sister suffered multiple gunshot wounds and nearly died, so she is very upset indeed, to the point of being unable to speak without bursting into treats tears. She is trying to lighten the mood with a joke, but she is so worried and so flustered that what came out of her mouth was inappropriately bawdy.

I went into greater detail about this in 5957155 in response to other inquiries.

All of this suggests that I could have, should have, made what was happening clearer.

5963299 Sorry for missing the initial congratulations! Was pretty busy. Anyway, back to the point, which is congratulations on winning the contest for this month! Nice idea for next month's prompt, too.

5961697 Congrats on the honorable mention! It really was a nice sonnet. We need more pretty pony poetry performed proudly.

Congrats to Quixotic Quill, too, but I kind of don't know how to link to a comment without being able to click the button in the upper right of the comment, which I can't see because it's on a different page of comments... oh well, I hope this is seem anyway.

5969193

With a dispatch from the:

Shamless Promotions Department, let me point you toward my other Pony poems: a collection of shorter pieces called Ponyville & Other Poems, and my mini epic "The Laughter and the Night."

Mike

5969228 Oh my GOD, you wrote THAT one?!?!

Holy shit...

Suffice to say... The Laughter and the Night was, I believe the third fan fiction I ever read in my life- even before I got an account- and one of the reasons I realized that fan fiction not strictly based on canon can be good, too.

In other words, I might not be here, writing this, if it weren't for you.

I've been looking for that story for a few months now, trying to find those original, formative stories of my fan fiction experience.

I just... can't believe I actually found you! And here, no less! Wow...

5969193

I kind of don't know how to link to a comment without being able to click the button in the upper right of the comment

The comment numbers (eg #89) are permalinks. So you can get the URL from those and use them to link to specific comments.

Also, yay for bringing people together!

5969683 Ah, thank you! I'll go experiment with that in my group designed for function experiments...

And yes, yay indeed!