noise."Story Notes: Parsnip · 11:13pm Oct 11th, 2022
Here it comes, another Not-A-Contest Fic! This time about a pony with a food cart.
Pre-read by EileenSaysHi and AlwaysDressesInStyle!
While my normal mental process for short PoE stories is seeing something in real life and thinking "how would a pony do/react to that?", sometimes watching a video on YouTube is inspiring, as it was in this case. The algorithm offered me a video about a food truck in Philly that has no menu, and I watched it and got inspired.
If you watch the video before reading the story, major spoilers. Just so you're warned.
And if you're in Philly, stop by that food cart.
Oliver was a brand of tractor in the US. As far as I know, it's not well-known by people who aren't enthusiasts; I only know the name because I made the mistake of volunteering to help unload hay wagons once, and said hay wagons were pulled by an old Oliver tractor.
An Oliver Tractor, courtesy of AlwaysDressesInStyle
When it comes to farm equipment brands—based on my limited experience—Wikipedia is difficult to navigate. As best I can tell, the company started it 1929 as the merger of four other companies (including the American Seeding Machine Company and the Oliver Chilled Plow Works, both of which are great names) and ended in 1960 when they were purchased by White Motor Corporation.
We could get into a furious debate about modern conveniences in tractors, versus something that can be repaired by an ingenious farmer with hand tools, and I can see the advantages of both if we're being honest. I also might be able to unlock a resource for y'all about old farm equipment (if he's willing).
For those of you who don't know, Dirk Pitt was the protagonist of many Clive Cussler novels. Clive is the only author I know of whose life was nearly as interesting as that of his aquatic adventure archeologist—he used the money his books generated to buy classic cars and search for shipwrecks, and he found plenty of them. I suppose in many ways, he's as close as we humans have gotten to Daring Do.
Biryani is "a mixed rice dish originating among the Muslims of the Indian subcontinent" (wikipedia) with "uncertain origins." From what I gather, it's basically rice, spices, and other ingredients. Wikipedia also very specifically points out that it's not the same as pulao.
For a pony who's talented at improvisation and is willing to make a fusion of human foods and pony foods based on what ingredients she can get at the farmer's market for cheap, along with whatever she's got in her pantry cupboards . . . and here I must admit that there was some channeling of Sorted Food and some of their cooking challenges. If you're not familiar with the channel, the cooks are sometimes given a few ingredients they must use to create a dish, and they also have access to common cupboard ingredients (i.e., oils, salt, grains, etc.).
I'm no expert when it comes to cooking; I've barely advanced past the stage of 'box with instructions printed on it.' but I do know that there are a lot of food items that are very open to interpretation.
Those of you who have been reading my stuff for a while know that one thing I'm not good at is coming up with names. I've got a number of ways around that, some of which have been mentioned in previous blog posts.
This time, when it came time for human names, I just went with 'super lazy' and googled for a random human name generator. Every single human name in the story came from that with no modifications.
Which meant when I found the name "Melody Love," I couldn't help but think that was a very pony name.
Also, while the full name didn't get used, the random name generator also suggested "Billy West." One IRL Billy West is a voice actor, and he does the voices of Philip J. Fry, Professor Farnsworth, Zapp Brannigan, and Dr. Zoidberg on Futurama. He also did voice work in the original Space Jam and in Minecraft (among many other things).
Amusingly enough, I didn't notice that until EileenSaysHi commented on it, since the working document had the full name list at the bottom.
Coming from small rural towns, any public transit at all always seems magical to me. I can't say if Philly has a better or worse system than average cities of its size, but I can say that they're still running some PCCs.
AFAIK, most Americans don't think much of streetcars or trams, but to the limited extent that we do, the only two that are likely to come to mind are San Franscico's iconic trolleys, and the PCC car.
PCC stands for "President's Conference Committee", a group of public transit leaders that formed in 1929 to design what was essentially a universal trolley. SEPTA (n Philly) is still operating 18 of them on Route 15, which (according to Wikipedia) dates back to 1859, when horses were pulling the cars.
The PCC cars they're operating date to 1947.
Source
Saffron's cheating and using magic to cook
The reason you don't see many streetcars in the USA is post WW2 GM bought them, closed them down, & sold their rolling stock abroad. (Although gridlock, fixed fares, poor public image, & rising costs didn't help.)
PCC cars are AWESOME!! They are so awesome I went and made an entire sub-gallery within a DeviantArt group dedicated to vintage streamliners.
Apparently Ian Fleming had just as crazy a life as James Bond, being a spy himself.
This was a pleasure to pre-read! I’d love to do more in the future if you’d like!
5691733
There's also Tom Clancy, who had to prove to the government that he wasn't leaking state secrets through his books because he was just that good at extrapolating from publicly available information.
This sounds like a pony I would like to meet. I work foodservice as my day job and it can indeed be a bit wearying doing the exact same recipes the exact same way 5 days a week. I try to sneak in a bit of experimentation when I can like on weekends I took it on myself (and customer request) to put out a couple extra fun ingredients for pancakes as an example. A couple of times for Pizza, I made a pepperoni smiley face. I know recipes are important but I'm a firm believer in quality over quantity which sadly is something of a slowly dying art. Why wait for a homecooked meal when you can sell 5,000,000 ready made burgers am I right?
5691717
As with most things, there are a number of factors involved in the decline of street cars (and public transit in general). I'm not a real expert on the subject, to be honest.
5691723
Agreed. I think I have a N-scale PCC somewhere (probably a Bachmann, I think that's who made it).
. . . which leads me to think that model railroaders rarely model things like trolleys. It's not unknown, but it's rare--at least in terms of what makes mainstream magazines.
I think in the US they are one of only two trolleys that people picture. It very much looks like what I think a trolley should look like, even if it's a nearly century-old design.
5691733
Oh yeah, i did forget about that.
You probably also know that Christopher Lee (the actor) did some covert stuff. Apparently in the filming of Lord of the Rings, he clarified what really happens when you stab someone.
5691745
I'll keep that in mind; I've got plenty of projects in the works!
5691806
Yeah, I don't know how much Clancy actually did IRL, but he was very, very good at making educated guesses and assumptions, to the point where a few of his plot points were more or less predicting the future.
5691968
Let's be honest, are there any ponies we wouldn't want to meet?
Yeah, I think that the pony way and the human way come into conflict when it comes to food preparation--among other things. Like, I can see the advantage for a company of selling the same thing everywhere, every time, but when it comes down to it, that just sucks away creativity and the joy of experiencing something new. On the occasions where I dine out, I have to decide between what I know I'll like and trying something new, and I'll admit I'm not always adventurous. It's a dilemma, and I don't know what the right answer is.
I do agree that it's better to have quality, a talented chef making whatever vs. the same thing every time, multiplied by a billion.
5691980
Although, one of the few benefits of gas prices rising is it's likely to increase the use of mass transit -in places where there is any
5691968
It’s bland, it's greasy, and it's horrible + bad for you but it's fast and it's cheap and in America you can't beat that.
I am currently dealing with a very modern tractor that has too many 'good ideas' and systems required by regulations. On the other hand, older tractors wear out under the heavy usage required to get a large amount of acreage or feed pushed up in a reasonable amount of time.
300+ horsepower CaseIH Magnum 340 in this case. The bolts which hold the transmission (and thus the machine) together in one spot keep loosening up when using the attached bulldozer blade... which is why the farm has this tractor in the first place. Given you can buy a good-sized house for the cost of replacing it, even used...
5691987
As to my own cooking at home...my basic rule of thumb is to stick to the recipe the first time you make something and then you can experiment to your hearts content. My folks collect cookbooks that we almost never use, and I've printed out multiple dozens of recipes from the web. ;
5691982
You mean his step-cousin, Sir Christopher Lee? Yup, the most metal Middle-earth wizard was a fucking legend. 🤘
5691990
That's probably true.
Where I am, there basically isn't any. I can drive about an hour and get public transit, though.
5692009
That's a good point a lot of people don't mention--the older, little tractors are probably fine for smaller acerages, but wouldn't stand a chance at many larger farms.
Loctite? That seems like either a design problem in the tractor, or else some other problem is causing vibrations where it shouldn't. I'm assuming they're bolts into blind holes, rather than through bolts with nuts, so castle nuts and cotter pins won't work.
There are some locking washers I've heard of (on YouTube) that might do the trick on a bolt into a blind hole. I could look into what they're called--they're more complicated than the traditional split-cut locking washer.
5692011
That's a good rule for cooking, although I think with experience you can sometimes shortcut that.
At least it works for fixing cars . . . years of experience are generally reliable at telling me which instructions I must follow, and which ones where I can maybe do it a slightly different way.
5692084
I did not know they were related, but I am not surprised to learn this.
Sir Christopher Lee was metal AF.
5692132
That's fair, and to be sure there are some recipes now that I just use the actual cards as guides/refreshers than hard and fast rules. This idea is mostly for when I come across a new dish that I've never made before, I want to have a baseline before I go crazy. That being said, some dishes like soups and stuff are a little more flexible with adlib cooking. I'm by no means a picky eater (within reason) but I can be by my own admission a bit more fussy when I'm in kitchen mode.
My mother on the other hand, I swear she'd probably try to guess her way through a wedding cake (oh that looks like enough corn-starch). I tease her about that fairly often.
5692130
Yeah, the bolts seem to have been coated in a thin grey layer from when reinstalled at the dealership this past winter. Trying locktite on one to see if that makes it hold properly.
Just like cars, the appropriateness of a tractor boils down to "What do you want to do with it?"
A mid-70's Thunderbird isn't a great choice if you want to haul a camper halfway across the US. An F250 standard cab isn't useful if you've got two kids and a spouse to drive around town. A pickup is a good daily driver for someone in the northern states where there's lots of snow to consider much of the year (I once got a Sunfire hung up on a snowdrift coming home from work. In the middle of the road. Yay Michigan.). A small, efficient car is a much better idea where there isn't that kind of weather to consider.
That 340 Magnum is a tool for certain things-- towing lots of tillage equipment, and pushing lots of feed into a pile. The farm also has four large but not as big tractors for general tasks that aren't as demanding. There's also a small McCormick C100 that is excellent for mowing, moving things in small spaces, running the old square baler. Those things could also be readily done by a 50-year-old Massey Ferguson 1135. Well, not the mowing part-- the 3-point hitch hasn't worked in a couple decades. Since we stopped using the moldboard plow about 25 years ago, that hasn't been much of an issue.
Using a santoku knife for a bell pepper seems wrong. But it's after she took the stem and core out, so it would be okay.
Liked the shout-out to Oliver. Actually the Oliver name was still sold until 1973. Would like to get my hands on one of the models with either a GM 2-stroker diesel or a 2050/2150 (Hercules-powered).
If you get stuck with a 2255, just hope you have a 3150 engine instead of a 3208.
5692163
Oh yeah, same thing with cars. If it's something I don't know well, I take the instructions as gospel until I know otherwise. If it's something I'm familiar with, I can just dive right in 'cause I know what they were likely thinking when they put it together. Sometimes that bites me, but mostly it works out okay.
Hey, if it gets results
5692196
If it's grey, it might be some kind of sealant or else something like JB weld. I think most locktite-like substances are generally blue or red or green, but of course I don't know them all. And sometimes when it gets old, it does turn a whiteish grey; I see that all the time on brake parts.
Totally agree--I've been mostly driving minivans for the past decade, 'cause they're very flexible. Almost car fuel economy, almost truck carrying capacity, and of course a good passenger hauling capacity if it comes to that. Decent handling, okay in the snow, and enough of them out there it's easy (and usually cheap) to get parts. Also for snow, I highly recommend proper snow tires; I've always driven 2wd (front or rear) in snow, and the snow tires are all that I need. Maybe if I lived further north or west, or on a dirt road it wouldn't be enough, but it's fine for normal roads and my commutes.
I do have a truck for when I need more trucky things done, but it's hardly ever driven. It's got a lot of issues, including a sticking brake and no heat.
5692216
Maybe she's one of those ponies who only has one knife for cooking.
5692381
I don't know much about them, to be honest, just that when I was unloading hay into a barn, the hay wagons were pulled by an old Oliver (50s, I think).
I don't know tractor engines either, but I do know that there are car engines to avoid. I've started looking for a new van (mine's starting to get severe rust), and a couple I've seen were immediately rejected just because of the engine they're equipped with.
5693073
The engines in the 2255 were Caterpillars. The early models used 3150s, but they switched to the 3208 after a couple of years (a poor decision, oil leaks galore).
The main glaring problem with the 2150 (just the 2050 with a turbo) was that the engineers didn't upgrade the cooling system to go with it.
5693073
¿Do you remember that on 1 of the Sam/Rose-Stories, I mentioned CarbonPlanets? Corrosion is not an issue there.
5693146
Would it be possible for a user to upgrade the cooling system after the fact? Like a bigger radiator or something?
I never thought about it until just now--as you know, I'm in the automotive industry where there are all sorts of performance-improving parts for cars . . . is there a market like that for farm equipment, or is it just farmers figuring it out on their own as they need to?
5693236
Corrosion is very much an issue in my world, though. More so than in some other parts of the world, since we salt our roads to encourage it.
5693436
Imagine how nice it would be to live on a world with an atmosphere of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and hydrocarbons with nonpolar hydrocarbons as the solvent (it would dissolve ions less effectively plus water can directly corrode through hydrolysis). you would have to go electric though. Also, you would have no free oxygen to breath and the CO2 and hydrocarbons would be at toxic levels. Still, your vehicle would corrode orders of magnitude less slowly.
5693603
I think I'd rather breathe than have my car not rust, but that's just a personal preference.
Also, rust does get us some work. Like the fuel tank I put in a Ford today . . . the old one rusted through, and at today's gas prices, it wasn't economically feasible for the customer to keep filling the tank and letting it run out on the ground.
5694859
I guess that this shows that corrosion is not all bad. As for breathing, I like breathing too.