Short Hand: Back in Canterlot... · 2:48am Jul 28th, 2021
I was tempted to write a flashback to when Shepherd was in Canterlot. It would show that, no matter how thirsty mares in Ponyville might be over him... The mares in Canterlot were worse.
A unicorn maid grins lustily as she seals the doors and windows.
Shepherd: "Ummm... I kind of need to get to breakfast with the Princess. So if you would please-?"
Maid: "Give me a bushel of foals you hot alien stud, you!"
Shepherd: "... Okay there's been some miscommunication here-"
Maid: "PROBE ME!" LEAPS!
Shepherd: "GAAAAAHHHHH!"
Later, outside... Shepherd is being tended by a medic pony and Princess Celestia, while the maid is led away by the Royal Guards.
Celestia: "Once again Shepherd, my sincerest apologies. Dust Bunny went into heat early and she has a... Slight obsession with human based pornography."
Medic: snort "'Slight', she says. That what you call a whole closet full?"
Shepherd: shaking "I... See..."
Blueblood: Trots up from the Guards "She'll be fine after a few hours in the ice box, but we'll be re-assigning her elsewhere while you're here."
Shepherd: "That... That sounds good..."
Blueblood: "You know, you were lucky the window you leaped through was near my study! Otherwise you might have hit the ground much harder!"
Shepherd: "I'm aware... Wasn't thinking of that..."
Blueblood: nods sympathetically "Ah. That's all right. You never are, the first time a horny mare tries to jump you."
Shepherd: "Is that sort of thing likely to happen again?"
Blueblood: "Oh, it's almost a complete certainty."
Shepherd: "I see. Where's the highest window in the castle located?"
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Blueblood: "only two, aunty celestia and luna bedroom windows"
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"Oh you don't want to go for the highest ones. That just gives the pegasi more time to grab you out of the air."
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"Unfortunately, the castle has a rather tiered construction, so you can never really fall too far. Your best bet is the Canterlot Waterfalls, really. Straight off the mountain."