Enough! · 7:10pm Jul 27th, 2021
Dear Bronies and Pegasisters,
Look... I really don't want to write this. At all. I don't want to say what's been on my mind for the past few months. But as of today - I've officially reached my limit.
And before any of you panic, the answer is no - I'm not leaving the fandom, I'm not feeling suicidal, I'm not in financial trouble, and I'm absolutely not deleting this account or stopping to write stories for all of you.
But what I am, however, is overwhelmed. And you know what? I really do not like the idea that I'm even writing this because I'm going to do the one thing that I've been trying all these years not to - letting any of you down. I don't even like saying "no" to anyone because, in a way, I feel that if I did so, I would be hurting some of you. And I know that some of you look up to me for reliability in a wide range of things, but there has to come to a point where I'm forced to put my foot down and say enough.
(Sigh...)
Look, before you write anything, I'm not doing this because I'm angry. That is not the case at all, I assure you. But what I am, however, is reaching burnout. And yes, I know there are those that want me to do projects. So far, I'm doing two of them at the exact same time. And the people who come to me to do said projects are nice people, but given what's going on currently, it's adding the sense of being overwhelmed and currying the disappointment that may come just by posting this.
Because the thing is, I feel that people tend to forget that I do - in fact- have a life. One that has a bunch of time-consuming chores, as well as online schooling for college. There is a laundry list of stuff that I need to do today alone just doesn't help the anxiety I'm facing.
Just to give all of you an idea of what I have to do, let me list off the things that still need my attention:
- Write up an online journal entry of 300 words by tomorrow.
- Read the remaining two chapters of my online textbook that still has 52 pages to be read.
- View the remaining 2 (at least) of a series of lecture videos.
- Study up and take the final exam that's open between August 2nd to the 4th which I still haven't done yet.
- Call up the dealership to check the van out that has recently reached the maximum miles to be looked at and schedule when to bring it in.
- Clean my mess of a room, along with the house for a yearly inspection for the Certified Family Home thing.
- Schedule and register for new classes to attend in the fall semester for college.
- Gather up and set up chairs and tables for an office party for my dad on Wednesday.
- Spend an hour and fifteen minutes watering the lawn.
- Mow the lawn that will take about an hour.
- Put some weed-killer on the lawn.
- Get around to putting the rest of the wood pulp stuff on the flowerbed that should have been done months ago.
- Run errands, including trips to the grocery store.
- Get to exercising that I have been neglecting for weeks now.
- Walk the dog.
- Spend an hour or two for an online practice with a fellow writer.
- Spend an hour or two writing up a novela about Prince Blueblood that someone had asked me to write up.
-Get around to finishing the recent fix that I still haven't touched.
- Get around to the eye-popping ten stories that I still haven't touched in months.
- Paint up three landscapes for a different season for dad's office.
- Finish an arrangement of Bach's Chaconne for two violas to be performed for a future recital.
- Practice the arrangement of Gabrial Faure's "Pie Jesu" for viola and piano for the upcoming recital.
- Get one of my grandma's genealogy to be put in the family tree. Especially when I have no idea where on earth to find any records of her parent's in the first place.
-Make room for guys' night based on my friend's unpredictable work schedule.
I really don't want to do this to you guys, but at some point, I have to stop and say that I desperately need a break here. Especially when I have finals that are next week and to figure out what classes to take for the upcoming semester. Not only that but there is real-life stuff too that needs my attention more. Look, I do appreciate that you guys would want me to do these projects, yet, when I feel that I've reached my limit, more than I could tolerate, I'm sorry - I really am, but I have to step up to say that I need some time too.
And I'm not asking for much either. Just wait off until next Wednesday and I'll get back to work. But for now, as much as it pains me to say this, but I need some time to focus on some of these priorities. As much as I want to help out, I'm having to pay a tax on my worries, anxieties, and my education that there's no possible way I can do all of these at once; after all - I'm just one guy that has to juggle all of these. I cannot be everyone's Atlas and carry the weight of the whole entire world on my shoulders. It's a miracle that I haven't burst into tears at this point, but I'm afraid that if I don't say anything - I might end up doing just that.
Look, don't think I'm blaming anyone for this - because I know that none of you intended this. And you know I don't ask my readers or fellow writers much on anything. However, given where things are, I must humbly ask for both your forgiveness for not doing enough and to grant me until next Wednesday to go forward with anything.
Signed,
- CrackedInkWell
Well take as much of a break as you need we understand at least some of us do
I perctly undresand your situation dude, take life as it come. Best of luch dude, and contact me if you are interested in talking.
Take as much time as you need.
I forgive you for wanting to take some time for yourself~
and I don't blame you at all for feeling overwhelmed with many responsibilities that rests upon you.
feel free to take the time to focus on the priorities <3
Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, then you haven't got anything.
Take your time, you certainly need it.
Damn, that is a hell of a lot to have on your plate at once. Don't feel like you're letting anyone down. I'd say you're doing a whole lot simply by typing out that long of a blog post. You do what you have to do. I don't think this site is going anywhere anytime soon and the stuff you have on that list are things that have time constraints. Don't let concerns over things going on here worry you. You have real life issues going on and I'm going to be honest, I don't think I could handle all that at once and keep my sanity, much less handle all that and still be able to come here and do what you do.
You're a very strong individual and you keep going strong and take care of the most important things, the things that affect you the most. You have a great day and kick the ass of all this you have going on.
The only people who will get mad at you for wanting to take a break are people that really need to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve solely around them. Take your time, you deserve it as much as anybody else who works as hard as you do.
I learned the hard way that one should never let it come to this point, so trust me when I say that I support your decision to take a break.
As well as adding that, maybe, you should have taken it sooner. I'd have understood it then as much as I do now - and all those before me, of course.
IRL wins, hands down! Do what you must my friend!
At the end of every day, we really are all meat puppets living in a real world.
You are under no obligation to people who consume your stories for free. Take care of yourself first.
Taking a break is not unreliability.
Here is a story that a counsellor once said to me when I was at the stage of burnout...
There is a lumberjack who needs to chop down many trees. His chainsaw is blunt and it is taking longer to cut each tree. Someone asks why he doesn’t stop to sharpen the chain so he can cut the trees better.
”Stop and sharpen the chain?!” he says, ”Don’t you see all the trees I need to cut? How can I stop?!
Ooh, yeah. That is a lesson for all of us, huh?
Yes, I still find myself making the same mistake. Going for that extra cup of coffee when I should be taking a rest instead.
One more thing - when you walk your dog, tell that dog you love them
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Does having six fingers on your right hand make it easier or harder to type?
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Harder at first; you have to adjust how you hold your hand. But with enough practice, it's quite useful.
To the author - Totally understandable!
Burnout...😮i've never had that problem it's opposite of unwritten/unfinished works & various ideas trapped inside my head! oh boy i have my work cut out for me
i think might have explained this to you or the Vclaw in a past Pm once?
message written out between the evening/morning of July 27 & 28th of 2021
Considering how long I've been waiting for a new Limp Bizkit album, I can wait for you to take a needed break.