Book Review: Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus · 5:27am Jul 12th, 2020
... yes, I bought it. It was too damn funny not to get. And I'm reviewing it because I might as well, right?
Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus is, first and foremost, a parody work by Chuck Tingle, and it is erotic fiction. Be warned, all ye who go beyond here. Also, minor spoilers ensue.
(images are the front and back covers)
So, first off, it's not that long of a book. 150 pages. 3 sex scenes, if I recall correctly. Both the dinosaur and the protagonist are transgender. This was written in direct response to JK Rowling being her horrible TERF self, so take that with a grain of salt. It's a parody with a purpose.
We follow our protagonist, one Harriet Porber, as she attempts to craft the latest hip spell. (Apparently, in this book, one writes spells, and then casts them with a wand, but only if you're a wizard. If you're a bard, then you cast it with music, and if you're a warlock, well...)
(apologies for the poor screenshots. They're all I got atm, and if you wanted quality you'd be going to Seattle's Angels or something for a review, not me, so.)
Not finding inspiration, she goes to the lovely island of Portork, which is apparently off the coast of England, seeking out motivation to write her new spell. There, she meets the loud "bad boy" parasaurolophus (see cover for image) named Snabe Rezmor. He's a bard in a band, seeking out inspiration for his own spell, and doing so rather loudly. He's also an expert in "meta magic," aka occasionally acknowledging that there's a reader out there reading the story, and that they're both just characters in a book. This adds to the delightful, er... whimsy, of the story.
But uh oh sisters, we got some bad guys: two motorcycles named Delletrix and Braco, who have people faces and apparently can hold a wand and type and whatever and it's never really explained but it's also treated as normal so idk what I can even say at this point. It's a parody. It's ridiculous. It is implied that Snabe the dinosaur is, er, having sexual relations with Delletrix, but all of that changes when he meets our dear Harriet, and they fall in love. Well, as in love as one can be when one has what Snabe acknowledges as a "bad boy" trope.
We've got sex scenes. 3 of 'em, as mentioned before. They seem quite considerate of the fact that both our protagonist and love interest are trans (which is brought up a few times, but not excessively), and are fairly steamy, despite the sheer silliness of the story itself. While three is a decent amount for a 150-page book, the book doesn't revolve around the sex: it has a fairly self-contained plot all of its own. Is it silly? Yes. Is it better-written than a lot of clop? Also yes, and it embraces how ridiculous the premise is.
There are nods, dear readers, to the subject matter ("Are you going to send the money via giant owls?" "Nah, I'll just wire it, it's much easier."), and to the... interestingness of JK Rowling herself. My favorite features a character introduced rather late in the story: a wooly mammoth bodyguard named Bumbleborn.
Editing-wise, I counted one typo and one incorrectly placed name. Not too bad, considering the speed that the author managed to get an entire book written in, after JK Rowling's horrendous tweets.
The romance is cute. It has a happy ending.
My overall review:
Still a better love story than Twilight Harry Potter. Very meta. Utterly ridiculous work of parody that still reads better than quite a few other books I've read, and far better than you'd expect. The sex scenes are respectful of both participants being trans, and of the whole trans topic in general. Cute little romance. For $11, I could have done a lot worse. Recommended for a silly, sometimes sexy, sometimes bizarre, always fun read. 9/10 there's a waitress named Gobby (who is mentioned to be small and have longish pointy ears, but no mentions of either goblins nor house-elves are present, because Chuck Tingle is many things, but a problematic racist isn't one of them) and she's a sweetheart.
You can buy the book here! The author also has many great parody-like ridiculous erotic novels, including both gay, bisexual, and lesbian collections, along with the fabulously-named asexual collection: Not Pounded In The Butt By Anything And That's Okay, for all your nonsexual needs.
Blog tags are my favorite part of blogs.
Excellent review. I now aspire one day to be as great as Chuck Tingle.
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Chuck Tingle says T R A N S R I G H T S !!!
This is marvelous.
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I'm glad you think so! It was a silly book, but still quite the fun read.
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TRIXIE IS TRANS!
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TRIXIE IS TRANS!
...that is all
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AMEN
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This seems fucking hilarious
Although I'm surprised... I thought JK Rowling was so LGBT+-supportive that she said one of Harry Potter's characters was trans (or maybe gay?), pissing off a lot of Potter fans in the process. Now she changed her mind or something?
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Dumbledore is gay. Now. Maybe. The Fantastic Beasts movies are cowardly on the issue. Dumbledore's post-story-completion Twitter uncloseting is what the mammoth passage is mocking.
In the past month or so, she's gone from dipping her toes into anti-trans nonsense to diving in naked.
British feminists are often weirdly anti-trans, even if they're supportive of gay and lesbian rights.
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Hmm, not sure what she said, but after checking what TERF means, I don't think I'm interested anymore. The day started too good to ruin it with this...
Thanks for the info though, it's always fun to see famous people getting hit by the same PC train they started not so long ago. Anyone who decides to play the PC card for personal gain deserves the same treatment
This is exactly what the name of a Chuck Tingle ace anthology should be titled and I love it.
Also, I choose to interpret that Dellatrix is a Transformer.
This is actually real!?? O_o
Chuck Tingle is a blessing. Also his Facebook page is hilarious.