Story Notes: The Wizard of Whitetail Woods III · 12:22am Apr 6th, 2020
Story notes!
Exclamation point!
For all y’all who read last year’s story, you know why the wizard works how he do. And you also know that KitKat is named after the candy bar (her older sister is named Mr. Goodbar).
For anybody who’s wondering where TWoWTW2 is, I got about 3 thousand words in and realized it was really dumb. And, let’s face it, if you’ve read this one, you realize what a low bar that was.
Fact is, I sort of based it around a Corona joke and a Kirin Beer joke, and then just tried to come up with a coherent plot that would somehow allow me to use the one bit of dialogue I came up with. Spoiler alert, I didn’t.
Certain kinds of maps do need to be replaced frequently. Not only do natural features change, but of course man- (or pony-) made features do, too. Nautical maps are one example--a map several years old might indicate you can clear a sandbar, while a current one will inform you that you can’t.
On average, humans have slightly more than one skeleton inside them.
Some toads have hallucinogenic properties when licked. Others have parasites. Still others are poisonous. If you’re gonna lick frogs, know which kind you’re picking up.
The bit about the dam beavers was inspired by the infamous “Dam Beavers” letter, containing gems such as this:
...there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
Why don’t bears nom on campers when they can’t get at the food?
Did you know that there’s a wikipedia list of who the Playmate of the Month has been going back to Dec. 1953? Because there is, and I bet at least one of you is now going to go and figure out who Miss July 2008 was.
Nylon is in fact made out of aliphatic polyamides.
Oddly, nobody wrote a fic titled Six Shades of Grey until 2018.
“Enjoy the Go” is Charmin’s current slogan. Better than “It’s like you’re using nothing at all.”
Never do this in prose:
—;
A tabarzin is a type of saddle axe. Admittedly, ponies seem to go more for spears, even the viking ponies.
Source
And that reminds me, I forgot about timber bears in the last chapter. :P
As strange as it sounds, equines only have one fewer bone than humans do.
I’m not much of an expert in skunk behavior. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a live skunk in the wild. I’m sure the skunks I haven’t seen are cool with that, too. From what I do know, spraying is defensive only; skunks don’t do it in order to get people to drop tasty tasty food. (I suspect it might be possible to teach a skunk to do that, though.)
IRL equines have a better sense of smell than humans, at least for things they care about. According to one video I saw on YouTube, horses aren’t intimidated by skunk odor (or the actual skunk, for that matter). Those might have been particularly stupid horses, though.
Sourcehttps://derpibooru.org/images/1992043
Biting coins was done back in the day when they were soft metal (like gold).
V8 juice does indeed contain tomato, beet, celery, carrot, parsley, watercress, lettuce, and spinach juice. All those tasty tasty vegetables do nothing to wash off skunk stink. Also, while it’s not covered in the myth, I can’t help but wonder if it’s less pleasant to bathe in cold tomato juice or warm? I intend to try neither.
“Guggle” and “zatch” are a Thurber reference; in The Thirteen Clocks, it’s said that the evil duke will slit his victims “from guggle to zatch” and then feed them to castle geese.
And then of course, there are The Damn Busters.
I mean, I don't know what those parts are, but if slitting me from one to the other is enough to prepare me for feeding to castle geese I don't want to be in the same county as anyone willing to do so.
Haven't read the story yet however
Your comment on V8 brought to mind
Bathing in tomato juice is an old country remedy for getting skunked
I used to watch Go Fetch when it was on PBS around here
They did one episode on that. Turns out, tomato juice is not particularly effective
It's been years & ICR what the best cure is
5236626
Maybe that’s what put the damn hole in their damn dam.
5236641
You’re not supposed to know what those parts are . . . but being slit from one to the other and fed to geese are all bad things, so it’s a fate one would want to avoid.
5236659
From what I’ve gleaned on the internet, either commercial skunk scent remover, or a mixture of 3% hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap.
5236733
That's my point, it fundamentally doesn't matter because the geese aren't going to kill me themselves, so whatever the duke was planning must have done it.
5236761
I dunno, geese are real bastards. I can’t find any records of anybody being killed directly by a goose (barring bird strikes in an aircraft), but they potentially could if they really wanted to. I did find an article about a Des Plains man who was drowned by a swan, who first tipped over his kayak, then kept attacking him as he attempted to swim to shore.
Took me a hot second, but I see the logic here.
And clearly lumber bears were hunted and/or volcanoed to extinction.
5236732
I thought it was a "lazy author," haha.
5237000
It’s quite disturbing.
That’s very much a possibility.
5237192
Yeah, it could have been that.
True fact, I was going to look up some kind of suitable monster that was an enemy of beavers, then decided that was too much work and went to Google Translate instead.
Might as well call it like it is, y’know?
That must be the Untitled Goose in the last picture. Bastard.
5237574
It is and it is.