Hands Short: Booze · 10:56pm Nov 18th, 2019
Upon Shepherd's first meeting with Princess Celestia, after all the pleasantries have been done with.
Shepherd: "Wow, I've never actually met a demi-goddess. Who was also a horse. Or not... Ahem."
Celestia: "Well, it's been quite a long time since I last met a hominid. So this is an auspicious day for both of us."
Shepherd: "That's good to hear... You won't smite me, right?"
Celestia: "Not unless you offend me."
Shepherd: "I'll do my best to avoid that, Your Highness... May I ask you a question?"
Twilight: "Of course you can! You can ask Princess Celestia anything you want!"
Shepherd: "Do you have beer?"
Celestia: "Beer? Oh no."
Shepherd: "But you do have alcohol, right?"
Celestia: "No, it has been prohibited for a thousand years."
Shepherd: "Wha-NO ALCOHOL?! Whatsoever?!"
Twilight: "Of course we don't have that! I read in ancient history books that alcohol was a plague on all society and the source of so many of its ills!"
Shepherd: "Alcohol helped my species build our civilization! Without it, I wouldn't even be here!"
Twilight: "Oh come now, you're exaggerating! In fact, I have the book in particular that led me to my conclusion about alcohol right here-"
Shepherd and Celestia: *Both muttered* "God, I need a stiff drink."
Shepherd and Celestia blink and stare at eachother. Twilight Sparkle gapes in shock.
Later, back at the Golden Oaks Library...
Twilight: "You're never talking to her again!"
Shepherd: "Look, she's immortal. How could she have survived half that long sober-"
Twilight: "No! NO! You obviously corrupted her with your human... Corruption powers!"
Shepherd: *sighs as Twilight heads off* "Geez... You'd think hanging around Pinkie Pie would have mellowed her out... Then again Pinkie seems more like a pot pony than a booze pony. Or cocaine. Or both."
Pinkie is cocaine.
Her Element isn't Laughter.
It's Chasing White Lines.
So. Who wants to tell Twilight that her digestive system naturally produces alcohol?
Well, Shepherd isn't wrong…
So... Celestia has a sunshine still somewhere?
On that note, if his reaction was that bad, imagine Luna's.
Pinkie is clearly a recreational nitrous huffer.
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I see what you did there. Well played!