Airy Words · 3:00pm Aug 9th, 2018
So I have created quite the stir with the latest chapter of This Nose Knows.
But in so doing, I have also sparked a muse.
Airy Words has an idea for what should happen next, and I thought it was pretty funny. 
So, I present to you the following: Chapter 27A , entitled "Spikey-Wikey"
Rarity skipped up to the Golden Oaks Library and knocked. Her smile was locked in place while she waited. After several seconds, the door opened and a young voice called out from well below her head.
“Library is open! Just come on…Rarity!” His eyes practically filled with stars and the last word dripped with reverence.
The unicorn tittered. “Oh, Spikey Wikey! You always know just what to say to make a mare feel welcome!”
The dragon sighed. “Whatever you say, Rarity!”
The fashionista leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “You are just SUCH a dear! And always so helpful!”
Spike’s breath caught in his throat and he stood stock still.
After ten seconds or so, Rarity’s smile disappeared and she spoke with a hint of annoyance. “Breathe, Spike. Don’t forget to breathe.”
With a gasp followed by a look of utter gratitude, Spike smiled even wider. “Wow! Thanks, Rarity!”
The same smile plastered itself on the mare’s face. “Oh, Spike! Such a kidder! Say! Would you your biggest fan a teensy-weensy favor?”
“Anything for you, Rarity.”
“That’s gooooood. Please send this scroll off to Princess Celestia for me, would you? That’s a good dragon.” A scroll sealed with green wax floated in front of him.
Without taking his eyes off the unicorn, Spike breathed on the scroll and it dissolved in the dragonfire. Wisps of smoke headed off towards Canterlot.
Rarity gave a little jump. “Oh, look at the time! I must be off to sew more amazing fashions! Thank you again, Spike!” The dragon and the door to the library lit up in Rarity’s magic. Spike was levitated inside and the door slammed closed. Rarity immediately began galloping in the direction of the Everfree Forest.
Spike blinked a few times, slowly shook his head, and asked aloud, “What happened?” He then caught his breath. “Rarity!” Again, he froze in place, not breathing. There was a knock on the library door, but Spike stood insensate. After another knock with no answer, a voice from the other side of the door said “Oh, right. Still open business hours.”
Then three things happened almost simultaneously: the door slammed open, someone yelled “Surprise!” and a cannon went off.
Spike extracted himself from a ball of confetti that had impacted and stuck in the fourth shelf up in the “Self-Help” section. “Pinkie! What the heck! Why did you just party cannon me into next week?”
The perky party pony bounced in front of him. “But were you surprised? Huh? Huh? Huh? Because I got a triple left knee itch followed by a one of those almost sneezes that suddenly goes away have you ever had those anyway that meant you had forgotten to breathe again and there was somepony new in town at the Library!”
Spike frowned and tried to step out of the confetti streamers wrapped around his legs. Instead, he made two multi-coloredc paper comets trail behind him across the floor. “Well…maybe the first part, but it was just Rarity here a second ago. You must have seen her.”
Pinkie slowly turned her head upside down then shook it back and forth. “Whoa! Head rush! I’ll have to try this again! Anyway, no. I didn’t see her on my way over. Are you SUUUUURRRREEEEE there was nopony new here just a few seconds ago?”
The Earth Pony Guard wore a set of armor that Celestia recognized as Mark VII duridium steel full-plate that now was a bit worse for wear. Mud, leaves, and dirt caked on every surface that covered the stallions’ body completely and the helm held under one foreleg was in the same state. He stopped in front of the Solar Diarch in her private chambers and bowed.
“Lieutenant Grappling Hooves. Report.” Celestia’s voice was flat and emotionless but her eyes burned with a fire that could not be hidden.
“The chimera’s nest was located and Sergeant Ironbottom and I kept the beast pinned while the rest of the team searched. We found these and I hesitate to guess their meaning.” Opening his saddlebag, he reached both forehooves inside and extracted both items, holding them for his ruler to see. One hoof held the sun medallion given to Prince Bean by his wife. The other…
Celestia’s mask broke and she fell to her knees. “Is that…? There were no…”
The soldier shook his head and held the piece of black shell higher. “There was enough chitin for a single changeling. It had died recently and there were no bones or hide of any pony.”
The Princess’ eyes watered and tears fell freely from them. “Then, that means…”
Her musings were stopped by a pop in front of her horn. Instinctively, she caught it and rotated it in her magic. The green seal was too translucent to be wax and bore a stylized letter “C.”
Her composure returned instantly and she stared forcefully at earth pony. “Speak to no pony about this. Also, give the same instructions to the rest of the team.”
He bowed. “It has already been done, Your Highness.”
She nodded. “Take both items to brief my sister, in private. Then ask her to come to my chambers.”
Luna turned the scroll upside down. “Such an amateurish attempt at extortion. I mean honestly. ‘WE hAvE YOur BEAn. COme aLOnE to The BaDLAndS. TelL NoONe.’ Is it really necessary to clip letters from various magazines to form letters of ransom? Is this a standard I missed while I was away?” She then started to examine the back of the scroll.
Her sister huffed. “Please try to stay serious, Lulu. I’m already putting my husband at risk by showing you this.”
“By no means,” replied Luna. “There is no such word as ‘noone.’ You can’t be expected to have to guess the intentions who don’t know this should be two separate words. Perhaps they meant to say ‘no pony’ but ran out of the letter ‘p’ and weren’t clever enough to place the letter ‘b’ upside down.”
“Luna…”
The Night Alicorn waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, alright. I admit it still wouldn’t look right without a mirror. So…” she put down the scroll and looked at her sister. “…plan 17B, I suppose?”
Celestia blinked. “Ummm…that was some time ago. Is that the one where you lead a few dozen dragons down every hole and burn up everything in sight?”
Luan smiled fondly and sighed. “Oh, that was great fun! But you’re thinking of Plan 27A. No, you swallow a moonstone for tracking, I spy on your whereabouts by moonlight, and if you don’t emerge from the changeling hive within an hour, I start destroying it with iron meteorites, working my way from the outside in. I won’t use anything heavier than an average pony so there will be no chance of hurting you, even if your magic is suppressed.”
“But my Bean still could be.”
“Then you will just have to shield him with your ample posterior.”
That earned her a glare.
“What? Safer than using your face, is it not? And you must admit it is big enough to do the job.”
The Day Alicorn sighed and started for her balcony. “Good enough I suppose.” She took and gulped down the small rock offered by her sister. “No reason to delay.”
Chrysalis cackled. At last, the Alicorn of the Sun was under her control once again. The princess had left her vestments at the edge of the Badlands before being led deeper in the desert—only being led to the hive after ensuring there was no pursuit. The changeling queen double checked the three nullstone rings on Celestia’s horn and the hobbles of the same material on her hooves. The drones before and behind them were alert and ready for any tricks. The alicorn walked impassively forward through the passageway of the new changeling hive. Even if the nullstone wasn’t in place, no magic except for changeling magic would work here, but that was a secret to be held back in case this was a futile rescue attempt.
“Did you enjoy spending time with my drone? Was his act convincing?”
“He was the bravest creature I have met in centuries. I will mourn his passing for the rest of my days.”
The queen’s smile ended. This was not what she had expected to hear. She studied the alicorn’s face but did not see any deception. Eventually, she sighed and looked away. “Yes. He was indeed the finest of my children.”
Celestia glanced sideways and gave a small smile. “Then we do have something in common.”
This got no response.
A minute later, they entered a small storage chamber with perhaps a dozen green pods hanging from the ceiling with a large empty pod hung next to the only occupied one. Inside…
Celestia gasped and Chrysalis was surprised at the strength and depth of the love radiating from the pony monarch. So he really had re-awakened the passions of the oldest creature in all the lands. The queen unconsciously extended her wings a bit while she soaked up the energy. Free food is free food. “Take your time. I promise you will dream of him when you are in your pod, just as he had dreamed of you for the past week.”
The Sun Princess did not seem to hear her. “You saved my prince. You saved my love.”
Chrysalis drummed her forehooves with a bit of impatience. “Yes. Now would you—”
That was as far as she got. Celestia’s wing snapped out, gathered up the queen and drew her back in an instant. Before a shout could be made, before a breath could be taken, before a blink could be made, the alicorns’ lips met those of Chrysalis.
An explosion of love filled the queen’s body. She felt the holes in her legs fill in a moment and the energy threatened to burst out of every crease between her chitinous plates. It was as if all the power of the shield that expelled the hive from Canterlot was bing channeled into the Chrysalis’ body.
In desperation, the queen used her hive mind connections to shoot the excess to the closest guards which collapsed in spasms as their bodies struggled to cope with the impossibly fast influx of love. This was quickly followed by every changeling in the hive, then every changeling throughout Equestria and the nations beyond. And still it came.
With her body feeling like it was an overfilled balloon, Chrysalis dumped a year’s-worth of energy into every dormant egg in the hive. Grubs burst from every egg, screaming in joy at the energy that surged inside them. And still it came.
Locked in Celestia’s embrace, the queen could only find one outlet left to keep from exploding. She streamed the love back to the alicorn.
After perhaps seconds and perhaps lifetimes, the kiss ended. Chrysalis slid bonelessly to the floor as Celestia broke the chains binding her manacles with two steps and sliced open her husband’s pod with the uncovered tip of her horn. Baked Bean slid out, coughing green gel from his lungs. Celestia gently helped him to his hooves and waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, he smiled.
“I was just having the most wonderful dream about you.” He shook his head and neck, causing green goo to fly everywhere. “Though I suppose I look quite frightful right now.”
Celestia smiled and booped her nose against his slime-covered one. ”You’ve never been more beautiful, my love.”
They closed their eyes and their lips met.
“What…have…you…done?”
The royal couple turned and looked down to the source of the voice.
“Every…ugh…every one of my eggs is hatched. Every drone will be in a food coma for a week. What have you done?”
Celestia smiled sweetly. “You are very welcome.”
This was met by a slack-jawed stare. “I now have twelve queens that just hatched! What am I supposed to do with one hive and twelve extra queens!?”
Bean spoke up. “Say, dear? Who is that, exactly?”
Chrysalis struggled to get to her hooves and noticed that everything about her body felt…wrong. Her head felt like there was a heavy hat on it. Her vision was fundamentally different, able to pick out reds and yellows as never before. And the hunger was gone. Even when she had been fully sated in the past, the ghost of that hunger was always there. Now it just didn’t seem to exist. She pointed an accusatory hoof at the pair. “You two did some…thing...” Her hoof was green. No, her entire LEG was seamless lime green.
Her horn lit and her magic coalesced into a full-length mirror beside her. She shrieked, “I’m hideous!” She spread her wings and screamed again. “You turned me into some sort of sparkly deer butterfly thing! I look like a rejected child’s toy!” She stopped to look herself again up and down. “No! Too colorful and tasteless! I look like a rejected baby toy!”
The mirror dissipated as her horn went out. Her rear legs gave out and her rear hit the ground. She started hyperventilating. “Why did you do this to me? How can I lead my people when I look like a cotton candy-fueled nightmare?”
Celestia wrapped a protective wing around Bean. “I did nothing of the sort. Somehow, you did this to yourself.”
Chrysalis’ head snapped up. “My beauty is gone! My hive will soon be starving again! I would never wish this on anyone!”
The Sun Princess smiled a bit evilly. “It sounds like you are going to need a FRIEND to provide you HELP for your people. All you ever had to do was ASK.”
The Sun Goddess turned and returned to kissing her husband as her wing made sure he and absolutely no say in the matter. When she came up for air, she said to her husband, “You see, dear? Friendship truly is magic.”
The transformed queen stared unblinkingly for several seconds. “By the First Egg. I so hate you ponies.”
I share Chrysalis's sentiment on the new changeling look... Pharynx was the only one who I though looked good as a new changeling
Make this an official chapter
Well, that is just lovely.
I absolutely agree with Sandstorm in that this sholud be made into an official chapter. But since your the writer, I'll let you decide that.
4917223
Oh, I don’t know about this being up to Irrespective. I did try to warn him that posting this snippet COULD lead to a mutiny by the readers.
I mean, given the choice, which would be more fun to read? Celestia and Zombie Bean rubbing noses, or Luna riding an enraged dragon into the changeling hive, the Princess of the Night yodeling at the top of her lungs to confuse and intimidate her foes?
4917232
The second one. Definitely the second one.
This is canon to your fanon now.
4917301
What have I done?
If Airy wrote it, it really needs to go in Never The Final Word II :)
4917436
Thanks for the suggestion!
I'll clean it up a smidge and submit it.
...and always remember...snarky Luna is always the best Luna.