Body Language and Nonverbal Communication Part 1: Anger and Fear · 5:06pm Jun 1st, 2018
Body language and nonverbal communication play a large role in what we are trying to communicate in person, so it stands to reason that it’s just as important in writing. One thing that I’ve been hearing from a lot of the writers that I spend time with is that writing non-verbal communication is often difficult, daunting, frustrating, or downright intimidating to do well. While I think some of it is largely due to overthinking on the part of the author (let’s be real, no one is surprised to know that writers tend to fall into the 18-20% of adults and teens with mental health issues), there are some nuances to nonverbal communication that can be somewhat difficult to portray.
Now, I’m by no means an expert. I like to think that I’m good at reading nonverbal communication, but much like Dr. Paul Ekman (the man who studied microexpressions) has said, all it really tells you is that a person (or character) is feeling something, but not necessarily why they are feeling it. I’ve cheated a bit in my own writing, as Threnody, the MC of the more popular story that I’ve written, has a deeper empathic connection than most to others, but I also rely on my own experiences with clients as made up stuff about magical ponies.
That all said, I do enjoy using nonverbal communications. Horses, and by extension, the ponies we love to write about almost have a language of their own when it comes to nonverbal emotional expressiveness. Sometimes it frustrates me that humans don’t have nearly as mobile ears, because there are times I’m fairly certain ear movements and positioning would give away a lot more information than simply reading microexpressions alone would! Plus pony ears are cute, but I’m wandering off topic again.
So when a friend of mine got really down on herself because of a comment on someone’s response to her writing of a nonverbal expression of anxiety that was, to be frank, actually on point for once, I felt maybe it would be helpful to talk about nonverbal signs of different emotions for writers. There’s also some minor differences that tend to show up between humans and ponies, but I wanted to address both because I think that, when writing in the world of MLP, we tend to run into a unique mix of both. As a result, we can mix and match as we want within our own writing. In fact, it may make things kind of interesting, depending on the story. Having a pony visit Sunset and her pals in the human world may have a harder time trying to ‘read’ the new human friends because of the lack of emotionally expressive ears!
So without much further ado, here’s some ABCs of nonverbal communication. This isn’t an exhaustive list, to be sure, but I wanted to write a few things down that may be helpful for other writers.
Anger
At its core, Anger is the result of frustration when goals or needs are not being met. Anger has a multitude of words to express a range of feelings, from the more minor end like annoyance and irritation to the more severe like fury and hate. From a body perspective, anger is interesting because two things happen physiologically speaking. Your upper body from the base of the sternum up becomes very hot (which we’ve seen in the show), and we can see if you look at someone who is angry through a FLIR (forward looking infrared) camera. Your face becomes red and hot, and if you’re Twilight Sparkle, apparently this sets your mane on fire. But the thing that is missed often in this is that everything else below your sternum gets very cold. Anger often is a prelude to a fight, and as a consequence, the body shuts down the digestion response. Your stomach starts to feel really cold, though most people miss this because the feeling of heat to the face is a little more obvious. In some ways, revenge being a dish best served cold is because your stomach would get upset if you ate something hot when your body thinks that digestion is the last thing you need to be doing.
From an outsider perspective, anger is easily seen from flushed face and neck. Anger is often displayed by snarls or baring of the teeth or shifting the expression toward contempt. Furrowing the brows is common, but on the flip side, some people show anger by utterly blanking their facial expressions. That’s usually not a good sign when someone moves from obviously angry to expressing nothing. If you have a character who has reached that point of frustration with the situation, odds are they are about ready to fight.
Other expressions of anger include clenched fists or teeth. The body is tensing up and is ready to fight, so there may be some some stress tics that occur on the face. Stress tics are small, involuntary muscle movements that are associated with signs of stress. Anime is very fond of showing bulging veins to express anger, but in humans, a slight twitching of the muscle that runs along the top of your cheek from your nose to the middle of your cheek that can be both seen by others, or simply felt by the character are much more common. In addition, humans, as well as horses are more likely to display aggressive body language.
In humans, aggressive body language is often shown in frowns or extended stares. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of a parent’s disapproval can probably relate to how disconcerting it can be to have someone’s singular attention focussed on you. Humans also tend to lower their body like they are about to strike when showing aggressive behaviours. I’ll explain the parallel in horses in a moment.
Additional displays of aggression include the violation of personal space. Humans are social creatures, but most of us have a preferred space boundary. This varies from culture to culture and place to place. In the US, that personal space distance for strangers is about a meter before we start getting a bit uncomfortable with how close someone is. So someone invading that personal space bubble is seen as quite aggressive, which is often why a surefire sign of anger and attempts to dominate a situation may involve literally ‘getting in someone’s face’.
If your character is upset, but doesn’t want to get in someone’s face about the issue, sometimes exposing oneself is a way of trying to show aggression and dominance. Now, I don’t mean like, going out and flashing someone, though there is a certainly a component of it to that. What I mean by exposure is basically showing weakness or exposing yourself to an attack in a manner that says ‘Come on, I dare you!’ or ‘Come at me Bro!’ (pro tip from a friend of mine who happens to be a park ranger and is also banned from using the phrase ‘Come at Me Bro’: do not do this to bull elk in Yellowstone in the middle of rut - it’s a good way to nearly get gored by an angry elk!) Intentionally turning away from a threat, forcing oneself to relax in a dangerous situation, or by not looking at that person. This is often paired with sudden movements. People who are angry often feel erratic because they are acting erratically. Some folks who study martial arts can read this and can use that to predict attacks, but for most people who don’t know how to read telegraphing behaviours, this can be extremely intimidating. And, in general, folks that are angry often use big gestures to appear larger than they are. This works to scare off predators and potential rivals, so it carries over into our social expressiveness.
Horses have similar displays of emotion to that of humans, but they do have a few nonverbal cues that horse owners or riders or folks who’ve spent time around horses know to pay attention to. Pinning the ears back usually means that the horse is angry. It may not be with you, but one of the first lessons you learn around horses is that if their ears are pinned, there’s a good chance you’ll get bit or kicked if you don’t back off. MLP does a fairly good job of showing this, as well as other signs of horse frustration or aggression. Horses will often peel their lips back and display their teeth if they are particularly upset with you.
Another horse behaviour that shows aggression, which is more commonly seen in stallions but sometimes shows up in lead mares is Snaking. This happens when a horse lowers their head slightly then wags it from side to side, much like a cobra’s movements when following a flute (hence, snaking). I don’t recall seeing this used in the show, but it’s something to take note of, because it’s very intimidating for other horses, and often is used by stallions or lead mares to corral uncooperative horses. Horses will also often stomp their forehoof when frustrated, or, in some cases, resort to pawing at the ground. This usually is a prelude to a charge, and there’s a bunch of instances where ponies in the show paw at the ground before launching themselves at a bully of some sort.
That said, it’s not just the front hooves that can show anger in horses. When frustrated, horses in the real world will sometimes cock a hind hoof, meaning that they shift their weight to one hoof while resting the leading edge on the ground. Usually this means that the horse is considering kicking, but in writing ponies, you could use it as being akin to clenching fists. Horses will sometimes swing their tails rapidly back and forth in irritation as well, especially when trying to decide if they want to buck. That said, it could also be used as a way to denote anger or frustration nonverbally to other ponies when writing them. If AJ is swishing her tail quickly back and forth at what Rainbow Dash is saying, she may be about 200% done with Dash trying to be 20% cooler.
Anxiety/Fear/Nervousness
I’m hoping I don’t have to define anxiety and fear, but usually these show up when people or ponies feel threatened. You feel these when your sympathetic nervous system is activated, meaning your fight or flight response has been triggered. Or, at least, that’s what most people will tell you. The issue with the Fight/Flight response is that there’s actually a third response in there that we often forget about: Freezing. This is kind of important because horses tend to default to Freeze before Flight. Humans freeze too, though for some reason a lot of basic psychology classes gloss over the stage where you stop moving in order to try to assess the situation.
I’m not entirely sure why that is, because from a therapeutic perspective, knowing which response a person defaults to can be super helpful when trying to treat an anxiety disorder. If someone is so overwhelmed by stimuli that they literally are completely indecisive may be getting stuck in that freeze response. In real life, it’s why folks with anxiety disorders often struggle with making decisions. In nature, if you freeze too long with a predator nearby, that’s you get eaten. Yikes! That said, knowing that freezing is a normal response to fear is a good way to up the ante in a story. It’s kind of funny that the freeze response isn’t talked about much, because it’s often what raises tension in things like action/adventure/horror movies! Scary moments wouldn’t be as scary if the protagonists didn’t freeze while trying to figure out that the monster is right behind them!!
From the perspective of nonverbal cues, anxiety (I’m lumping the gamete of emotions that runs from nervousness to terror into this) is often shown in a lot of ways. Both humans and ponies have a large number of ways to show we’re scared! Which makes sense! If someone in the group is scared, that usually means there’s something out there to be scared about! From an anthropological perspective, fear is the way that we communicate to others about perceived or actual danger. Humans are a little weird in that their response to fear can be fight or flight. Some people tend to default to fighting (and consequently tend to get eaten by the monster in horror movies, but I digress).
That said, horses, being herd animals, default to RUN AWAY! Horses, biologically speaking, are designed to run. They flee from predators, as opposed to fight. Sure, hooves are scary and hurt to get kicked with, but when that tiger has bigger teeth than you, it’s best to just outrun it! Nervous horses default to most things with their run away response. Anyone who has owned horses that were a little high strung can tell you that simply introducing something new into the paddock (like a ball for them to play with) can trigger that fear response until they realise that the ball isn’t a threat. It’s also why Bridle Gossip is a hilariously clever episode from the perspective of all the ponies running away from Zecora. When a newcomer joins or nears a herd, the first response most ponies would have would be to run away. (And, we have the added bonus of seeing Zecora’s frustration with the ponies by seeing her paw at the ground, even though it’s given another explanation in the episode.)
When anxious, humans and horses show it in different, if similar ways. A ‘cold sweat’ is an oft used expression in writing to show and not tell that a character is nervous.
People who are anxious tend to pale, which again leads to some cliches about paling when upset, but realistically, it makes sense as blood tends to rush toward the core of the body as the body tends to ready itself to run away. Better to have well oxygenated blood to run with! Anxiety also tends to cause dry mouth, which is why someone who is anxious will lick their lips, rub their throat, or suddenly start drinking water like they’ve just run a marathon in 40C heat. I think this has been used to comedic effects in the show, but it’s definitely real. It also can exacerbate the voice tremors and speech errors that happen when someone is anxious.
Eye contact is super important in communication, and it’s usually telling when we aren’t getting it from another person. Eye darting and not directly looking at who you’re talking to are often signs of anxiety. When I am nervous, I have a hell of a time trying to maintain eye contact with folks. This can be exacerbated by conditions like Autism Spectrum Disorder and Social Anxiety. In both cases, maintaining eye contact in times of stress seems nearly impossible. In my own clinical practice, I’ve had sessions where I had to rely on nonverbal cues from other parts of my client’s bodies because if I tried to make eye contact with them, it only made them more nervous! Which is definitely not helpful when you’re trying to treat someone for anxiety! Depending on the degree of fear or nervousness the person is feeling, they may not be able to speak at all.
As I said earlier, this is by no means a comprehensive list, but I did want to start getting things out there for folks to work with. Fanfiction is a wonderful way to practice writing emotions and emotional expression, but it doesn’t have to be an experience that makes you want to tear your hair out in frustration. Hopefully these were helpful for you, and I’ll have another post up later with sadness and happiness!
Thank you for publishing this! Very much looking forward to future entries.
It's interesting to think about nonverbal communication like this. I wonder if there were moments to incorporate such cues on my writing that I just missed because I didn't think about it early? Something to look for in the future.
Upvoted blog! I didn't know about the stomach getting cold when you're angry.
At least I can go through this and say
"I learn interesting things today"
This is very useful thank you!
Good stuff.
Supplemental reading: look up the "monkey dance." If you've ever been in the kind of bar where guys wear Affliction or Tapout shirts, you've probably seen this. It's a display for social dominance frequently related to mating access. A primate thing, not a horse thing. Not really anger, but it can lead to a fight.
More supplemental reading: look up "pre-assaultive behavioral clues." Indicators of violence that does not stem from anger, but as the opening of a robbery.
"The calm" is a real thing, for sure. So is the freeze response. The first time I was shot at, I froze, hard. It felt like forever, and a flurry of emotions shot through me even as The Calm took hold. Sixteen bullets whizzed past my head and I was *doing math.* I had inferred the caliber, the type of gun, and calculated the shooter's distance based on the speed of sound and the speed of the bullet I believed it was. I was absolutely in "fight or flight" mode, and I did neither.
Freezing is a reaction seen in both prey species (such as rabbits and deer) and predators like cats. It allows you to be less visible (as motion attracts attention) while you can hear better without your own noise. Humans evolved in the unique position of being both an apex predator and a species small enough to suffer significant predation.
This was super fascinating, especially since I feel that I tend to use certain physical cues for nervousness and anger over and over. It’s nice to get some more ideas, or know something I should’ve been using. Thanks for all the info! I would love to see more.
Excellent blog! Woulda commented sooner, but this is the first time I've been able to get to a computer.
A couple other things to mention, which I think I'll mostly put as bullet points, 'cause I'm at the tail end of a 10 hour shift with a rather demanding DD client. . . .
The 'run away' instinct in horses cannot be overstated. I've heard that horses get uncomfortable when they can't move their hooves (like a human is telling them to stand or not giving good signals) when they are confronted with something they don't know how to deal with. Supposedly, even letting them walk helps relieve that anxiety . . . for a pony, maybe shifting around on her hooves would be a mild sign of nervousness or uncertainty.
Horses tend to run away in bands, rather than herds. Usually, horses that are friends will run away together.
Flaring nostrils/heavy breathing is also a sign that a horse is about to bolt, apparently--gotta get oxygen to get those legs moving.
When confronted with a stressful situation, a lot of horses will be looking for a clear path where they can run if/when things suddenly go wrong. In the case of pegasi, the sky might be a good direction (and I could see a pegasus in an unfamiliar inside place with lots of people and no clear exits getting quite stressed out).
Likewise, while real horses obviously can't do this, I could see pegasi flaring their wings to look bigger being a threatening sort of move (the 'Come at me, Bro' gesture).
* * *
Ears. Yeah, they're vital to equine communication, at least when it comes to humans reading them. A lot of wild herd gestures are bigger than that, but I could see as their society developed they mostly lost some of the overt gestures and went to more subtle ones . . . sort of in the same way that most humans don't beat their chest anymore. Or fling poop. . . .
There's plenty of stuff on the internet that gives good information about ears (and tail) movements, at least as a primer, and the writers in the show tend to do a pretty decent job of working with them, too. One thing that's often overlooked in HiE/PoE stories is the ponies having real trouble reading people without moving ears. They might actually consider us practically expressionless.
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You wanna know how I know you haven't been to the kind of bar where guys wear Tapout or Affliction shirts?
But yes, pegasus wings are a huge source of emotional conveyance. Have you read "Mood Wings" by Tchernobog?
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I have. Twice.
I should read it a third time.
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Ooo, I should read that! And thank you for adding a few things as well. I've kind of long accepted that my lense that I view the world through is limited, and it makes me happy other folks had points they wanted to share as well!
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Totally worth it. Pretty sure it predates Princess Twilight, too.
Mood Wings (for your clicking convenience).
I'm also trying to cover some stuff I know that not everyone else does in blog posts, and I also always am looking for more viewpoints and people who also know stuff to comment.
I was thinking again when I read your blog post . . . there was talk a while back about starting a group for knowledgeable people in different fields. I can't remember if that ever really got off the ground, though.
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I'm 100% positive Hap, Ebon Quill, and I would be down for that.
If you could find someone who'd be willing to co-administrate the group, I'd start it. I'm really irresponsible when it comes to groups, though.
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I am really bad at admin. Ok, no, I'm good at it. I'm really bad at over committing myself. Hence my hesitation from offering to be a 2nd.
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That's a legit reason. I personally forget that the group exists after a week or so, unless it's really active.
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I'd love to see it active, and would likely join it and probably end up acting as a co-moderator whether I wanted to or not.
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Lol.
Well, I guess I'll start the group and see what happens. Worst thing is that it goes down in flames.
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Alright, done!
The Circle of Knowledge
I don't know how to make mods, so you're safe for now if you join. :derpytongue:
Also, put the word out.
Really good stuff here, especially for folks like me looking to expand their meager vault of knowledge. I hear/read a lot about the flight response and I always tend to forget the freeze response, but I’d be interested to hear more thoughts on the fight portion from those who know more. I work around a lot of people who choose to run towards danger and fear in order to remove the source but most of the responses I get from them when I’ve posed the question of who is either pure bravado or silence on the matter.
This will come in handy for my work, and is detailed enough to warrant a Follow. Thanks a lot for sharing!
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Thanks! ... Ack that's my reminder that I need to write up part 2! @.@