When the Body says No; alternatively: an F in the chat for my gallbladder that failed to give me a decent vacation · 11:50am Nov 5th, 2021
I know I've written about the mind-body connection before, and how important it is to listen to your body. Great idea, right? Listen in to your body, make sure that you understand how what it is telling you relates to your mental health! Easy peasy!
Well, except... it's kinda not for a lot of people. I'm one of them. For some, it's related to trauma, others family history, and sometimes just... people are really bad at paying attention to what their body is telling them. Personally, it's... probably a mix of all three things I mentioned. I ignore my body because I carry a lot of issues in it. I think my ADHD sorta plays into my randomly forgetting to tune in to my body. I also ignore it because when I was a kid my dad (who was a Physician Assistant) basically would be like 'unless your leg is half off, you'll live.'
This resulted in the whole hilarious bit of, much like how the cobbler's kids have no shoes, the doctor's kid was sick all the time but never really treated for it. I seriously asked my dad about it at one point because I remember my childhood being a constant stream of strep throat infections. This usually happens a few times a year with kids as your immune system builds up, but at one point I remember being on oral antibiotics for about a year as I got infection after infection after infection. It sometimes makes me wonder who people thought I was a cute child, as I was basically a coughy mess with breath that could kill a vampire without garlic. Anyways, the normal response to chronic strep infections is getting your tonsils removed. I never did. The reason? 'It was $100 co-pay and you weren't dying so we kept them in.'
Now, my family was not strapped for cash. My dad had a comfortable middle-class income (up until I was 6, when several bad decisions led to us being in poverty for about 6 years), so at the time that it would have been ideal to get my tonsils out (age 5), money wasn't an issue. It really was, and I've realised this on reflection, that my dad wanted to leave work at work and home at home. Which... is fine, except that it meant that he'd forget that maybe sometimes you need to use those skills at home with your kids. Or rather with me. He was attentive to my sister. But I routinely got sent to school sick (which inevitably resulted in my mom getting called out of her work to come get my coughy, snotty, throw-y up-y larval form) instead of my dad thinking 'maybe I shouldn't send my child to school with a 103F fever!' Yeah this... happened more than once. My mom still gives him crap about it.
What I've realised over the years that I am really bad at listening to my body. Part of it is necessity. I have arthritis, and I've had it since I was 19. Being able to dissociate away from the pain in my legs, hands, and feet is actually helpful. It's low grade anyways, so it's not a huge deal. But the issue with this technique is that means I tend to relay that to all of my body. So I don't slow down as much when I need to, and often push myself beyond where I should be.
Which... likely has led to the past 2 years of medical issues I've been going through. Which sorta culminated last week with my gallbladder deciding to go "I maked these!" then get a stone stuck. Which proceeded to do its best to get infected.
Is this cute as heck? Yes. But also painful as heck.
So I found myself in the ED going "I would like to stop the ninja from stabbing my side" and then getting told I get to rapidly rearrange my life to remove my gallbladder. Which was uh, suboptimal. Everything happened so quickly that I was barely able to get a ride from the hospital arranged. Bless my friend Shimmercoat who dropped everything and drove 3 hours to come pick me up, bring me home, and deal with my whiny butt as I was like 'oof ow my tummy'. My dad flew out here the next day to come help me out for a week. While I was starting to feel better after a few days, I ended up still really glad to have someone here because the anxiety is real. It turns out when you've spent the last 2 years having weird medical issues, you have a bit of anxiety for every little weird thing your body does. It makes it really hard to not give into the belief that you've developed 'tummy hurt a little too much a little too long gonna die disease.'
Which is why I have been using some mindfulness to try to manage anxiety. Normally, I hate mindful practice because it honestly makes my brain go skree-onk angrily like an old dial-up modem, but it is very helpful for anxiety. I will recommend it for people with anxiety. It's not a cure-all, like some practitioners will tell you, but if you can focus, it's very helpful in chilling you out. So I have been trying to deal with the attention deficit part of my brain being like 'lalala' while realising that this focus actually helps me calm down.
One of the things I was using used a technique called the 'Loving Kindness' technique. It combines a body scan exercise (literally you try to give focussed attention to various points on your body) with thinking about being kind to yourself. Sounds very... new age-y and BS, but when I was doing it, I realised that I REALLY NEED TO BE KIND TO MY BODY. Because I ignore it a lot. ...A lot a lot. Which made me go 'maybe I really do need to pay more attention to it.' And I really do need to be more kind and loving to my body. We only get one.
So as part of that, I'm getting 6 weeks of leave from work. Normal recovery from the surgery I have is about 2 weeks, but honestly... I really need to break. And my work has been flexible with me. Part of this is the number of people who have been checking up on me which is... honestly overwhelming. I am accustomed to de-prioritizing myself, so having friends from all over offer to come out to help me out has been like... 'oh wait people do care, and they care a lot.' And maybe, just maybe, I need to give that love and kindness that my friends and family offer me back to my body. On occasion.
Wishing you the best of recoveries!
Ah, sorry you've been having those troubles, but glad that things seem to be improving?
Good luck!
Don't forget: no more gall bladder means no more overly fatty foods, or those tummy aches will really come back to get you. Stay safe and get well soon. You've got me on Discord if you need an ear.
Take care of you and take all the time you need to recover. Rest is the best medicine, sometimes.
he maked these :c
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He did! And I feel bad that he had to be removed. :<
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he tried SO HAAAARD
AND GOT SO FAAAAR
You're probably the person I enjoy the most reading your post as they are always at the best moment to pop out. Yesterday I had a discussion with my friend and how she should take more care of her and her body and I will probably let her know about these techniques, thanks
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Yeah I have a friend dealing with a lot of issues, he turned to comfort food a lot. He ended up having these same issues, so he had to cut back on sweets and sodium.
Yeouch x_X ive been through the whole "I maked these" rocks routine with my kidneys a few times, it is not fun. Glad you got the problem taken care of though 🙏
I Seth Standmore am reliefed to hear that you Heart's Hine is okay, I have never had kidneye stone's or Gaul Stone's but, my father Stan Standmore did have them back in 1995 when he was a construction worker working on the Great Tower of Carson California, he was carrying a Big Beam of Wood when he turned and hit someone in the head, it was a woman named Giselle she said "OUCH WHAT THE DAMN FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR" and my dad Stan Standmore fell down and said. "Well it's because I have a Gaul Stone, ouch ouch oh good gracious gravy" my father Stan Standmore did not like to Swear.
He was lying of course to get out of toruble but Giselle beLIEved him. Giselle who was the lady then took him to the Hoplite, who sent him home and gave him Medicine to take, Giselle drove him home and they had a Sexual, and that was how my dad Stan Standmore and my mom Giselle Brauchian III got married and my mom became Giselle Standmore, many year's later my dad Stan Standmore confessed to my mom and she Divorced him, now my parent's are Divorced and they both died in a
So even tho you have a Gaul Stone and your Gaul Blader has to be Removed.................. maybe you can use it as an Opportunity to meat the Love of your Life, and beacuse your Gaul Stone is real............... your love too will be Real.
NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT HEART'S HINE, I SETH STANDMORE WILL STAND MORE WITH YOUR ORGAN'S
Sincerely Seth Standmore
5604033 >pop out
>this is a blog about gallstones
hmm. apropos.
You can't fool me this is just an excuse to get out of working over Thanksgiving
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...
...
...What did I just read?
He maked those. :(
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Hope you're feeling better soon.
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Popping out rocks are less fun than poprocks.
Being an inveterate literalist, I have to admit that advice like "listen to your body" always sounds weird to me. It usually just gurgles.
That said: Considering the crap I've done to my not-yet-dead corpse, I'm surprised it doesn't complain more. The food intake alone would make a dietician weep. I don't really have any serious physical problems... yet. So I have a horrible feeling it's saving the worst for my old age.
Well, I suppose that's one way to keep hospital beds free. 😕
Sounds a lot like the old "stiff upper lip" mentality: unless it's nigh-lethal, put up with any inconvenience or "inconvenience" for as long as possible, don't complain, and basically act like you're 100% fine. It's a reliable way to increase stress and allow small problems to grow into big bastards.
Damn gallbladder. I'm with the liver on this one: why can't the staff just do what they're bloody told?
I think I've spotted a flaw in the plan.
I dunno, I've tried this kind of meditation thing before, and usually I lose interest after a while and forget about it. But I tend to find something more active helps. I do appreciate the effects of stopping whatever I'm doing, going out, and walking and thinking/daydreaming until I start feeling differently about it. Doing some light job or small achievement can help make me feel more self-aware too. Anything to spark a bit of life in the bloodstream.
Unfortunately. 🙁
Trouble is, the process works both ways. Looking after physical health can help mental health, but then you probably need some mental health in the first place just to feel capable of looking after physical health. What's a virtuous cycle one way can turn into a vicious cycle the other.
I really wish life wasn't so complicated, at times. 😒
Christ. I am so sorry you went through so much shit as a kid. The fact that you are still on decent terms with your parents means you're better than me in several important ways.
Get well, and don't put up with any more crap from illness.
Glad to know youre ok and safe!
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I have put my appendix on notice, and let my kidneys know I only need one of them live. My liver is gonna have to just pick up the gallbladder's slack.
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I read this and had this like 3 minute idea of a Han Solo and Chewbacca-esque conversation with your stomach, but instead of wookie noises it's just stomach gurgles. And lots of yelling about how much you love pizza please stop being upset.
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Stomach: "WWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
Translation: "Wookiee want cookiee!"
How... how did you know!?
Are you psychic!?
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That’s a pretty shitty start of the month. Hope the pain is gone now and you’re feeling better.
Enjoy your vacation. Judging by your other blogs the last couple of months have been really stressful for you. And stress is really bad for the immune system and can cause more healthy problems or aggravate existing ones. Sitting back and relace for a few weeks is a wise choice.
Oof sorry to hear that.
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