Writer's Workshop: six more things to consider before posting your first stories (or: learn from MY mistakes) · 4:20pm May 21st, 2018
In the past, we've joked about warning signs which appear in the New column, things which may send people screaming for the hills. (Example: Seventh Element -- and there goes half the blog readership.) There are errors which people keep making, and part of that is because -- let's face it -- the sort of writer who makes many of these errors isn't often the type of person who would go seeking advice before their first assault of purest perfection graced the site in the name of shaming we lesser beings.
I avoided some of those errors, and dodged a number on instinct. But... it's not as if I've done everything right, now is it?
So for those considering their own introductions to the site, this list will include corrections for a couple of the things I did wrong. Examples you might want to avoid.
Now: none of these are absolutes. It's not as if the right person couldn't make some of this work. For every twenty thousand 'you must follow all rules of grammar and use only the language which has been granted to you,' there's one James Joyce and, through extension, a hundred thousand migraines suffered by those trying to read him. But some of these are still things which, in retrospect, I see as having been errors on my part.
It's a miracle any of us survived.
Your first story probably shouldn't be your 'magnum opus'.
"Hi! I just got here five minutes ago. Surely that means I've made enough of an impression for you to trust me! Stay with me, because we're going on a half-million word ride! Or it could be longer -- hey, where's everyone going?"
Consider starting your site career with short to mid-length pieces. It's fine to have plans for something major -- but magnum opuses get launched on this site every day, and we're not going to track how many make it to the last note just because the rest of this is probably going to be depressing enough. You need to show people you can both maintain characterization and fully manage a plot across a five-digit word count before you consider attaching an exponent.
Prove yourself in stages. You don't have to start with a strict thousand words and work up: it's what you're comfortable with, and some people genuinely can't manage to keep things within that limit. But once you've shown you can do 6k, 3k, 15k... maybe then you can think about 500k. A reader signing on for a huge story is making a commitment, and they've seen too many of those dashed upon the rocks. Give them a little reason to trust you. Walk before you run, glide before you fly. And make sure you're up to it, because 'Canceled' is the cruelest status tag.
If you're trusted, you'd better be worthy of it.
Comments sections arguments are like mud-wrestling a pig: only the pig enjoys it. So which one of you is the pig?
There are times when you're wrong and your readers are right. It's important to learn when to recognize those moments. Every writer should be prepared to justify and defend the actions of their characters: this is why they did that, and so this was the natural consequence. And that's fine. It's part of basic plotting. But there are times when you'll make the wrong call, and if you go through a twenty-comment war while trying to defend your mistake, you're going to look like an idiot.
But at the same time, you are going to find readers who Just Don't Get It -- or worse, Did Get It, But Want To Waste Your Time With Pretending They Didn't. They are going to insist on their own interpretation no matter what you say: a living-will Death Of The Author and yes, they came to kill you. And you are still going to look like an idiot if you keep arguing with them.
No one has ever won an argument on the Internet. No one ever said 'You know what? You've made me see it your way.' You may have a troll on your hands, or a fool. You may also be the fool.
Step away from the keyboard. Don't let your first reaction reach the screen. Take a breath, take a walk, take some time out. At least one party is wrong, and there's a chance it's you. Think about things. And then if the mistake was yours, admit it. But if you've got a troll? Your best option may be to just keep walking.
Also, the Block button. Because sometimes they follow you.
A comment on an Incomplete story is instant feedback on a long-term project. You may hold all the cards, but you're also the only one who can see them.
Or in other words: for long-term plot developments, twists, and mysteries, your readers are making their best deductions and guesses based on the evidence you provided. Grant them the freedom to be wrong -- but at the same time, if those predictions are going way off-base, consider that you may be planting the wrong clues. If you think you've spent twenty chapters foreshadowing that the vase will be red and fifty people have made the same comment about a mysterious blue vase, you probably screwed up.
You're also going to be dealing with a pair of pains: as above, there will be times when it feels like you can't bring people to the proper conclusions -- and every so often, someone is going to make exactly the right deduction and potentially blow the entire plot open twenty chapters too early. In both cases, be very careful how you respond to people. Let your readers have the freedom to debate and argue among themselves. And you'll want to engage with them: it's only natural, and it's part of what keeps your readers around. But you can't play the I Know Everything card: it's annoying. Going Trolling Creator creates a flow wave towards the exit. There's only so much you can say, and that means there are times when your hands are best off being placed in your pockets.
So don't berate people for bad guesses (unless they're trolling you, in which case, a firm 'No' can be justified). Hold back congratulations for accurate ones until those events are reached. Have a visible presence, let people know you're willing to talk -- but watch what you talk about. One moment of "How can you say that when it's been this all along?" and you're dead.
Let them debate. At least it means they're reading.
You are surrounded by people who know more than you do. Use that.
Say you're writing a medical drama. And you're not a doctor, but you figured a little bit of Google, some Wikipedia time, and you'd have enough to at least get the atmosphere down. (If you're not willing to do even that much? Then don't write a medical drama -- or anything else which requires research which you refused to conduct. Weave doctorate-level material out of whole cloth and all you'll produce is gauze.) Do you know what you're almost guaranteed to get in your readership? A real doctor. Write about law, lawyers show up. And you can talk about how it works this way in your world and so everyone else is wrong. Maybe that's even true.
But guess what? There is free advice posting in your Comments section. Learn from it. If your physician readership mentions 'Why didn't they do that test?', then the next chapter is a really good time to put that test in. A lawyer asked about why pre-trial discovery didn't apply? Look it up, then explain or incorporate it. If someone thinks of something you didn't, treat it as a personal failing just long enough to remind yourself not to be so oversightful next time, then do something about filling this gap. If it won't derail the plot and makes sense for the characters, never be afraid to incorporate a reader's expert suggestion. However, draw limits -- after all, you do have all the cards, and maybe one of the hidden ones says 'Plot Twist'. Just be prepared to justify it when you finally toss it down.
Also, allowing readers too much control in this manner creates a Comments-driven story. (Or worse: Twitch Writes FIMFic.) Additionally, trolls.
Survey. Research. Verify. Incorporate. Everything around a writer is potential story fuel... readers included.
Ultimately, the most important words you'll ever write are the story's short description. Think of the best commercials you've ever seen, and then hope you can apply their lessons.
For your story, you're weaving a tale. For your short description, you are creating a commercial. Worse: you are doing so in an environment with infinite distractions available, where nearly everyone changes the channel about five times per minute, when not getting someone's interest in one sentence may lose them forever. You're in the New column? Guess what. So are fourteen other stories. What makes you so special? Go ahead, justify a click on your link. You've got what, two seconds?
...and too late.
No matter what your story, genre tags, characters, or overall mood, your short description always has to be the same thing: a hook. You are trying to pull readers in. You want to incite curiosity, make them wonder what's going on here. (It is also the last place you can afford to have a typo.) They have to think about what's happening and then -- this is the important part -- you have to make them want to know what happens next.
Tease the plot, but you don't give away the ending. We've seen people who give away their entire story in one summarizing sentence -- and once they've done that, why do you still need to read the story? You can't think movie trailer, because you don't have the space to give out a good scene. You have to think commercial. Something which had your finger freeze over the remote's button within the two seconds which made up the window. Something which made you want to know more. This garden hose can be carried in the palm of your hand? Preposterous! That's so self-evidently impossible that I'm going to keep watching just to prove it can't be done!
You are advertising your story. (On another level, you're advertising yourself.) Think radio, because you may not have art available and the thumbnail size might not leave much detail. Think about things said which made you need to hear the next line: out of fascination, out of mirth, and even out of anger. The goal is to get people to the next sentence. Bring them as far as the long description and you can explain yourself a little better there -- but even then, there's still an aspect of commercial airplay to it.
The short description is where you cannot afford to lie to yourself. Read what you wrote, and then ask yourself 'Would I check that out?' If the answer is an unbiased 'No,' start over.
You can be humorous in your short description, if the story calls for it. You can be horrifying. You can be depressive, romantic, mysterious -- just about anything, really. But you cannot be boring.
The reader is perpetually holding the remote. They're used to moving on. To looking for something else which might catch their interest.
You have two seconds.
If you have continuity between stories, consider minimizing its initial impact. Everest is a lot scarier when standing at the bottom and looking up.
Here's one of those nasty little facts: 'verses scare people. Sometimes they scare them off. Reaching the first story in someone's established continuity can feel like taking a test in a class you never signed up for: the author seems to be expecting that you're just going to know all this material, the first paragraph turns into its very own bluebook essay question, and the twist has you failing to defend a doctorate which you never even wrote. You can't expect every fresh arrival on your second story to have read the first. Frankly, you'll probably be lucky to hit 50%.
There's a tropeworthy situation which can take place with new arrivals to established continuities: Archive Panic. "This show has been going for how many seasons? I can't possibly appreciate this little joke made in Episode 148 unless I remember every detail of Episode 3?" And that leads into another trope: Continuity Lockout. Of course Rarity's acting like this: she's been under the effects of Blumdiddlyumptous since that event at Farshleeville! Really, not understanding that is your fault...
Now to some degree, this is inevitable. Unless you just keep hitting the Reset Button or inflict Aesop Amnesia at the end of every tale (and doing so will eventually annoy your readers more than the first two tropes ever could), you will accumulate differences. Your characters will shade further into your interpretations, building up their own histories -- and this will scare some new readers off. There's an argument to be made that the longer you're on the site, the harder it'll be to collect fresh followers: the sheer effort involved in becoming invested will eliminate many. So in order to keep that from becoming overwhelming in the early stages... maybe you should take it slowly.
It's fine to made an immediate hard left and then just keep swerving: if you're putting together a very different setting, the readers should know immediately. However, that may make things worse for you in those later stages, as new arrivals can't even feel as if a grounding in the show is sufficient. And for more parallel divergences... let the new track run near the old for a while. Keep self-references small. Unless a story is a direct sequel, try to make sure a new reader could show up fresh to this tale and have some rough idea of what's going on.
Television and comics have the advantage on fanfic: we can't do a saga cell. Ever see an episode of the 70s Incredible Hulk series? If not, this is what led off every fresh airing.
There. You may not have known that series existed. There's a chance you've never heard of the character before. And after watching that sequence, you have every bit of knowledge required to go into an episode. You are prepared.
And the best fanfic can hope for? An 'our story thus far' paragraph, with the Author's Notes placed at the top of the page, which many readers are going to treat as 'HOMEWORK? RUN!'
So take it slowly. New readers can be skittish creatures, and the Archive Panic/Continuity Lockout one-two punch is very real. Stick around long enough and it'll be a problem you have to deal with -- but you don't have to inflict it within three story postings. Keep self-references small, make the in-jokes small ones, and always try to have the welcome mat out. Because a 'verse is a scary place.
Actually, you may want to wait a year before admitting you even have one.
Excellent points, all around.
One thing I might add is: "Predictability is not always a bad thing". I've seen way too many authors try and "outsmart" their readers because they saw something coming a mile away. Kind of like your red/blue vase example. Sometimes, seeing you were right while reading a story is rewarding in itself as a reader, but for an author, it also means that you're communicating the story you want to tell effectively.
Always good advice I would say.
Thanks for the insight. It's easy to make newbie mistakes when the traps aren't noticeable until you fall in them. I know I fell in the 'at least 1k+ per chapter or it's not enough words to post' trap when I didn't have enough experience to keep that up or even that much to say so it ended up mostly filler. This was back in fanfic.net days where you'd have stories with 100 chapters but maybe like 200 or 300 words per.
Always good to be at least half decent in the language.
Pity I aint.
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But there's also another kind of frustration in getting things across too early. For my own work, as of this writing, one reader -- one -- has recognized a potential future event. And it's something I've been planning all along. I've been working towards it for a long time. When it hits the screen, I want it to feel not only earned, but like something which would ultimately be natural. Exactly one reader has realized that this could happen at all, I know it's going to happen, and... I can't say anything. Can't say they're right, shouldn't try to mislead. Silence broken by soft sighs.
There are few things more writer-painful than having your own viewpoint fall under Spoiler Alert.
However, at the same time... Triptych itself is a mystery, one where I've slowly been planting clues. But I have very little idea if I'm doing so in a way which registers with the readership. I can't/shouldn't put the old Conspicuous Light Patch on words, and casually-mentioned small details can easily drop into the background. The best possible result may be that when the reveals come, people look back and recognize what was going on.
I had a few major reveals in recent chapters, and some people did recognize that when you did the math, the sum total was a workable one. No reader openly declared I'd gotten it wrong, or that I played the game with marked cards. And sure, it's natural to lose a few people with every chapter, so more than half of those probably weren't walkouts...
But there were guesses and deductions along the way, and people did recognize aspects of what was happening. To that degree, I can claim success, at least in that there was a mystery and people were trying to solve it. But I know certain clues only registered in retrospect, and some time bombs may still be ticking with no notice whatsoever.
With mysteries, you don't know how you did until everything is in the open. And then you just listen for the screams.
You can get a free proofreader here.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/]The Proofreader Group
Seriously consider this.
Sure, spell check will keep you from misspelling words, but it won't keep you from using the WRONG word.
Too & to
There, their, & they're
where & were
then & than
etc.
Android is notorious for changing words, so if you're posting from a phone this is doubly important.
If you are a non USA resident, slang can be tricky. In the USA, calling someone a "twat" is apparently a LOT more serious than it is in England, for instance. Readers here probably know everything in Harry Potter. Anything else, you're taking a chance.
At best, wrong words are a distraction. At worst, it's the difference between being hit with a lighting bolt and a lightning bug. A good proofreader can help a lot.
Also, a proofreader can keep you from other mistakes. I pointed out to one author that a "steer" was a bull that had been castrated. (Possible, but pretty dark). To another, I pointed out that they were writing about 25-30 years in the future. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would be 40 ish. Miss Cheerilee might still be single & teaching but the CMCs would not still be students (Their kids might be, but they wouldn't. Miss Cheerilee would probably be Ms. Cheerilee)
Finally, the show is getting long enough that a line at the end of your blurb or the start of your text telling when in the show your story is set can be helpful. If you graduate to a series a chronology or recommended reading order can also be helpful. Put it in your blog.
4865986 For sure, I actually was thinking about mysteries while writing that and thinking to myself, "maybe it doesn't work in those cases"... but I figure... there will always be someone that will figure out Rose Quartz was really Pink Diamond; that Pride could only be Selim Bradley out of all possible characters introduced in Full Metal Alchemist... attempting to outwit everyone might end up being either extremely fun or extremely frustrating and might end up being too obscure with the clues.
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One of the little questions on the SU reveal was 'Has Steven ever had a X-ray/CAT scan/MRI?' But it's not as if such is exactly standard procedure for children, and who knows how the actual gemstone shows up on the images. Plus realistically, given that he's been kept out of school and any number of other normal childhood activities, it's pretty easy to picture him having dodged nearly all of pediatrics. It might have been 'immunization shots and keep the car running.' Assuming he's even had immunization shots.
Also, the size of the gem. Is the point tickling his spine?
(One of the big questions is 'When did Rose rest?' Given what we've seen from Amethyst and Steven both, you can't hold a given shape forever. It's easy to picture a practiced Diamond going for a few days without having the mask slip, but it feels like she would have had to revert eventually, if only to recover strength.)
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Now I have to go read every single coment page on everything you've ever written until I find it.
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I still can't get over that. I can't believe all she had to do was flip her gem over while she shape shifted. Brilliant in its simplicity.
Actually… I once had to compute which was the most common seventh element in ponyfic. (Alcohol was involved, or rather, lack of.)
I have only been able to isolate 542 stories containing any description of the seventh element – far fewer than I expected – and the most commonly mentioned one was… No, not courage. Surprise. And not in the stock phrase “element of surprise,” either – I preselected the stories which actually did mention that there are seven elements of Harmony before extracting the names and counting them. Courage is a distant third, and only if it’s counted together with bravery.
Which is to say that the seventh element is probably a dead unicorn trope, or very close.
P.S. Notable oddball elements include nitrogen, bacon, dubstep, wubs and umami.
4866018 Well, she had her own room and her own dimension inside Lion... possibly there?
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Possibly for the later stages. But... well, part of this is a question of timeline: after Homeworld believed Pink Diamond to have been shattered, how much time passed before the corruption attack? Did they wage conventional warfare for a while, or was the final counterstrike immediate? Should there have been any extended period between the events, it would leave Rose as a war commander who just has to vanish every so often (and was probably already trying to repeatedly pull that trick prior to the faked death). It isn't easy for an army to work when the general can't be reached.
Even after it was down to the Crystals... we don't know if the Temple was built or taken over. But given the common theory that the statue represents all of the surviving Crystal Gems fused together, I'll guess 'built'. That's going to take some time. And as for just when Lion arrived...
It feels like it leaves Rose with a bad case of Secret Identity Syndrome: every so often, she has to vanish, and it leaves Pearl making what are eventually going to be some pretty threadbare excuses for her. There's also some questions about the post-marriage living arrangements, although Greg would probably just accept going back to the Temple twice a week as 'Gem stuff'.
But that final reaction shot says Garnet and Amethyst never worked anything out, regardless of what almost feels like multiple inevitable close calls. And when we next get new episodes in two, three, eight years, I'm guessing they're going to be a little ticked off...
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One idea I've seen is that a Gem can tweak their default form after being poofed. If any Gem can make radical changes to their default form it's a Diamond.
So at some point after faking her death Pink made the Rose Quartz form her default.
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To be fair, there's supposed to be new ones this summer, so at least we'll get something before the drought begins anew. I'm excited since it looks like we might get more Ruby and Sapphire.
By the way, was it confirmed anywhere that Greg and Rose did actually marry?
oh, that made me think of that strange intentionally-comment-driven comic strip, "the adventure logs of young queen" on Deviantart, by Vavacung (aka loveless nova)...
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Actually, the only times we’ve seen Steven or Amethyst struggling to hold a shapeshift, it’s because the shape in question was significantly larger than their base form. So it’s possible that Gems can hold a shapeshift indefinitely, as long as it’s still the same general size.
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My question is what exactly are Greg's living arrangements? I'm missing a large chunk of the show, but from what I can tell, he had a house in the flashback episode after Steven was born and then in the present, he lives in a van? Poor guy.
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I don't know, but I want a wedding episode now. I bet Garnet was the best wedding planner (feel sorry for Pearl though)
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He still lives in his van IIRC, I feel like I remember him saying something about it at the end of the new york vacation episode. If not staying in the van then he still lives humbly for sure.
That wasn't directed at me but I figured I'd throw my two cents in.
The sad thing is, Pearl would be great at wedding planning if someone told her the rules and needs. Garnet would go mental with heart decorations I bet.
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THIS. This right here.
Spelling and grammar checkers can only take you so far. Sooner or later, you need to get another set of human eyes on your story to tell you where it's working and where it's not. I can't tell you how many stories I've read (or attempted to read) where I swore the writer had to be ESL, only for them to say they weren't.
The rules of good writing are there for a reason. You can't break the rules unless you know the rules.
P.S.: I have so many pet peeves about language, Fluttershy would be impressed.
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One of my favorites is people who use "infer" when they mean "imply"
My favorite comment on that
The TV show Maude.
Walter was arguing with ICR who & they said "Are you inferring that I'm stupid?"
Walter replied "No, I implied it. You inferred it
I have to emphasise this. A friend of mine used to give away stuff all the time this way before I told her what she was doing.
If she was hiding something it would go like this:
"Is it X?"
"No"
"Is it Y?"
"No"
"Is it Z?"
"I'm not going to tell you."
"So it's Z."
"How'd you know that?"
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"phase" vs "faze" are the homophones I hate seeing the most. They can throw me right out of a story.
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Actually, it’s confirmed in Gem Harvest that they didn’t.
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i.pinimg.com/564x/fb/b8/43/fbb843aa70701313390a2847905b27c4.jpg
Man Blumdiddlyumptous is just the absolute worst.
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Ditto. I've seen too many fanfics that have a good premise, but are rendered unreadable by spelling errors, tense errors, homophone confusion, and my personal favorite: ignorance of how to properly end a quotation! (End quoted sentence, comma, closing quotation marks, and the "he said" that goes afterward DOESN'T START WITH A CAPITAL LETTER!)
Beta readers are your friends!
I'll speak as a reader: Even with a short description that made me think something along the lines of "I want to read this," I put off reading Some Other Time -- twice! -- until just a few minutes ago. I'd always read a Jay David story or something instead... and then fic-walk the Also Liked/Similar/Author column for ones I missed, stopping before I actually got around to it. I mean, I used to check out a lot more authors' fics, but now... and Holy isn't an author I'm familiar with. (Well, mostly; setting that column to Author reveals one that I remember having passed up before: Little Stars. Maybe I'll check it out sometime.) But I figured that if I didn't read it really soon, it'd pass off my radar, with perhaps only the vague memory of something that I wanted to read... but neither title nor author retained to use in a search.
Good thing enough other people didn't pass it up, or I would have missed it.