Well... F***... Here We Go Again · 6:27am May 6th, 2018
Hey Folks,
I know I'm probably abusing the story tagging function with these more personal blogs, but since my DaD readers have been my primary (if, honestly, probably my only) audience, this is something you really ought to know, and only a select few people already do.
As mentioned in one of my previous blogs (well, I guess I'm kind of updating it), I've been in the hospital for just over three weeks now. I've had three surgeries and two minimally invasive procedures to figure out what the hell has been happening with my heart after it went into failure. Long story short, we figured it out. It's stiffened, one of my primary valves is leaking, and I've got an arrhythmia (an abnormal heart rhythm). For now, the doctors are going to give me a pacemaker, which will hopefully happen this coming Tuesday (the eighth).
The pacemaker is only a temporary fix, though. The real long and short of it is... I'm going back on the heart transplant list. For those of you not totally in the loop, yes, I said back—I already went through this crap once twenty-two years ago when I was six.
One of the few nice things out of this timing is that after the pacemaker goes in, I SHOULD be able to go home for a little while, and—hoping I don't jinx myself here (Murphy, stay the FUCK away from me)—my doctor has given me the OK to still go to EFNW. If I run into you there, as there are a number of people I'm intending to meet (and others that are saying they would also like to), I'm perfectly happy to talk about all this—and any of my previous troubles—but I won't want to linger on it.
After that break, though, I don't know how much time I'm going to have to be comfortable in my own bed, because even though at the moment I actually feel okay, I'm ultimately going to have to come back and live in the hospital full-time so I can jump a bit higher on the transplant list (it's complicated to explain). I can tell you now, that's gonna suck. I stayed in the hospital for two months back in 2013 when I was having some serious chemotherapy and surgery, and that alone felt like torture. I have no idea how long I'll be waiting this time around.
Basically what that means is that my job search is being put on hold, as are practically all of my other real-life endeavors. I actually did have one phone interview from my hospital bed before I was told the transplant was going to be a requirement. The interviewer even told me she would fast-track my resume to the hiring committee because of how impressed she was with my background, but I had to call her back and tell her I was going to have to wait for a while.
The upside to all this?
When I come back here, I'll have plenty of time to work on DaD.
Luckily, after I recovered from each of my three major surgeries that required me to lay on my back, I jumped back into writing where I could. I've worked on a few pieces of DaD out of order, but they're pretty important pieces. I think some of you also noticed when I posted Regress, which was just something short I wanted to do to take a break from everything else.
After I come back to live in my New York hospital, where amazing things are happening (if you get it, you'll know where I am), I don't think I'm going to need (m)any more procedures since we now know what the problem is. I'll just need to wait. If the wait gets long enough, I might end up going to California or Florida where the waits are supposed to be shorter, but we'll figure that out with time.
Anyway... TL;DR, I'm going back onto the heart transplant list, and the excruciating wait will hopefully give me the time and motivation to write more DaD in a shorter period of time.
I... think that's about it. Time to wait a couple more days in this seriously uncomfortable bed for my pacemaker, then I'll hopefully be going home.
Until next time, everyone.
—LD
Damn, that...that just sucks.
I hope everything works out for you.
Damn. Fate hates you. Sucks that this is happening again. I do hope they are able to get you a new one relatively sooner than later.
Until then, try to keep your spirits up.
Also, get some Nurse Redheart cutie mark stickers. Slap them on your nurses hips.... though it might be better to just hand them to them and ask them to put them one.. don't need to add broken nose and broken hand to the list.
Still crossing my fingers for you, brother.
Wow... just wow. I truly hope that everything is alright and you will be in my prayers.
*hugs tight* I'll be thinking only good thoughts!
may the sun and moon shine brightly upon you that you get through all this sooner rather than later
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Thanks, everyone. For now I'm just sitting in bed and waiting for the pacemaker which will be either tomorrow or Tuesday. After that I should have a little more freedom.
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You've suggested that before. It's funny, and if I was still in pediatrics I might have—it would have been more likely for kids to get it. On the adult side, not so much. Besides, the nurses I've had thus far don't really seem the type to do it.
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If you do end up living at the hospital for a time, will you still have net access?
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Yes, I will. I have it right now. It just won't be as high quality as what I have at home.
You poor soul. I wish my experiments growing organs were successful.
Yikes, what as mess. I'm sorry you're going through this yet again… Is there anything we can do to make your hospital stay any better?