Present Perfect vs. Rainbow Factory · 10:35pm Oct 24th, 2012
So in my quest to read more, I'm tackling head-on a lot of the 'fandom classics'. Those fanfics like MLD and Past Sins that you need only mention the name of to find a roomful of people who've read them. So far, I don't think I've read that many. MLD I didn't like (because I have taste). Cupcakes made me lose my mind, but then I'd never read anything quite like it before; I have read plenty since, that I thank the early influence of Cupcakes for inuring me to. I'd include Spiderses in that fold, though it's perhaps not as well-known as some, but of course I love that and you can still get a printed and/or bound copy of it fyi! I don't expect to like either PS or FoE when I get to them, but we'll see.
But so, Rainbow Factory. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed it. I decided to just go ahead and copypaste my response to the fic below, for your reading enjoyment. Spoilers, of course. (Also, I'm pretty sure this is the reading I listened to. Wasn't great, because scene breaks were marked with bits of the song, played at EXTREME VOLUME. I don't think I'd care to listen to anymore of the reader's work. Other readings exist by Astro-Brony, Mic the Microphone, Sparrow9642 and Plagen Shiki.)
I got the song stuck in my head the other day and decided, why not, it's a classic, it's infamous, I oughta read this story. So I just came out of listening to setzertrancer's reading on YouTube, and I have to say, I'm kind of impressed. I don't have a very good track record with fandom classics, but I enjoyed this far more than I thought I would. Had I not known what was going to happen, this might not have been the case, but we'll never know.
My main criticisms of this fic are as follows:
First, using 'fillies' and 'colts' interchangeably. Made Orion's identity confusing to pin down. Minor issue.
Second, the self-insert Aurora Dawn. I kind of glossed over the author's name when it was announced in the reading and didn't make the connection until I came here. This disappointed me, because it turns her from a character into a Pity-Sue and cheapens the entire story.
Third, characterization. Rainbow Dash specifically, though the sudden "I love you" between Scootaloo and Orion was pretty hokey, too. Now, of course, once you've slapped a grimdark tag onto a ponyfic, you're undoubtedly dealing in AU, but still Rainbow Dash came off as kind of... eeehhh... What worked was Scootaloo's reaction to her being in that state. What didn't was the explanation of why she was in that state to begin with; that was horribly telly and probably the worst part of the story.
What surprised me most was how ahead of its time this story was. Pegasi were revealed in season 2 to have come from a militaristic society, and I couldn't help but think that this kind of draconian flight-or-die trial would have been exactly the thing that their society would have had to rely on. Weather control was, after all, life or death for them back then, and they wouldn't have been able to afford weak fliers. Realistically speaking, of course, I can't see ponies of the modern age keeping the ritual, or at least not its gruesome outcome. Those in Cloudsdale are more likely to have kept the test, but also more than likely modify it, to a point of pride rather than mortality. (Though I did so love the "Praise the Flock" line. But I dig stuff like that.)
So, yes, a very surprising tale, deserving its infamy in every way, but you can hardly be blamed for it since it's all Wooden Toaster's fault anyway. Thanks for providing the fandom with something so memorable and thought-provoking!
So, not perfect, but an easy 4/5 OKAY 3/5, which ain't bad. Like I said, it would have been a much different story had I gone into it completely blind, but that'll never happen. I think I'll be tackling either PS or FoE next, via dramatic readings. I forget which is the one I have saved, but I'll figure that out later.
4/5 for that pos? I thought you said you had taste. It and mld are both aggressively average fics which are not worth your time.
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I don't think you have the right to speak for him when he's already spoken.
FoE is a long, blush and squeak filled journey, but it's what inspired me to get my ass in gear and start writing. Interpret that as you will. There were times when the characters kind of made me wring my hands in frustration, and some elements of the story weren't as powerful or successful as I feel Kkat had intended them to be, but I very much enjoyed it while I was reading it. So, if you've played Fallout proper, that might make it more enjoyable for you, but go into it with an open mind.
alternatively you can read the FoE thing I'm writing which is much shorter and with none of the humiliation fetishAnd now, Alex will provide a short blurb about why you should read PS.
Godspeed on FoE. That one I just can't get started on, simply because the shear size of it intimidates me.
Also, the Rainbow Dash Presents of Rainbow Factory is and always will be the best thing ever.
445021
Did I write that post for him? No? Then I'm not speaking for him at all. This being the free (for various measures of the word "free") internet, an exchange of ideas, opinions and positions is generally not only allowed but oft encouraged. MLD? Not worth his time. Rob's a fine fellow, but the work he is most famous for is fifty shades territory. RF is somewhat lower on the scale, its relative fame having little to nothing to do with its literary merit, or lack thereof.
Feel free to disagree, I know OP does, he can also defend himself and doesn't need you white knighting for him or the stories in question.
445111
I apologize then for stating an opinion, apparently I'm now not allowed to do so, as yours is the only correct one.
445117
You didn't state an opinion, you attempted to muzzle mine.
i.imgur.com/hozvz.png
I'd lean more toward 3/5... though I did like it. The end was surprisingly good-- the whole "your eyes" thing was just a "Oh ****..." sort of moment.
I think you may be overlooking the more serious flaws (The self-insert I didn't even notice... and honestly didn't mind when I did know because at that point it didn't matter) The mechanics of the prose itself break the immersion. There are just too many errors or awkward passages. Also, FimFlam got it right in Rainbow Dash Presents when he had Thrakerzod point out that the children rising up using the moves from the exam was kind of silly... seeing as how they all failed miserably.
But I do agree with you that it's still enjoyable. Also, I'm kind of with you on the Pegasi society-- I didn't realize it was pre-Season 2, but if so then Aurora Dawn was indeed ahead of his/her time. "Praise the Flock!" was indeed a nice touch.
445066
WHO NEEDS PAST SINS WHEN YOU CAN READ MY LITTLE DASHIE?
I for one found it to hit the right emotional notes; people complain that he complains too much, but when one has a genuinely awful home situation, it is not hard to guess. Yes, it does strain believability, but any fic of such a premise would, and I maintain that no other fic actually did it or anything as well as MLD did with the same premise.
Now I am really waiting for that Past Sins blurb.
445126
They're waiting for you, Alex. In the blurb chamber.
The only good thing about Rainbow Factory was making the author popular so her good fic Mythbuckers, got way more attention.
Rainbow Factory is obviously 100% alternate universe when it comes to the flight test. While shades of a society like that exist in ancient pegasus culture, shades of Soylent Green existed in 1966 culture when the book was written. DO you think in 10 years we'll be eating processed corpses? Consider the suffering inflicted on the 3 races for not getting along. What would have been done to a race that treated it's own like that?
My biggest problem with the fic is that is makes no attempt what so ever to make sense. At all. In Soylent Green at least people were being converted into food. Something that can be shown as necessary. In RF living beings were being turned into rainbows. Why? Like why do they need rainbows? At all? Never explained. The premise makes the entire story irrelevant.
And it also takes itself too seriously for a grimfic.
Oh, and Dash's OOCness?, how about simply lack of reluctance? Kits lambasts RD Presents' parody but it actually has Dash way more in character than the original. You want to make it a true tragedy and horror of the system kind of fic? Actually make the ones DOING the killing regret it as much as their victims fear it. Making them some quasi-religious fanatics just kills all the emotion. I mean how much better would it have been if they explained WHY they needed rainbows and if Dash didn't want to do what she was doing? Instead of just having been driven insane by doing it?
I mean is she even the element of loyalty in this universe? Killing kids doesn't seem especially loyal. (Remember it's friendship loyalty, not patriotic loyalty.)
Honestly, the only thing that made this fic bearable was RatherHomely's MST riff of it, and RD Presents' parody:
[youtube=n7HrijDkfHc]
Oh sweet, Present read Rainbow Factory. Time to see how hard he rips this thing to shr-
>Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed it.
OH HELL NO.
The characterization was shit. The ending was shit. The entire execution was also shit. How you could have possibly rated this above a 2 is beyond me, because it's so bad. Nothing about it was correct. NOTHING. Just, everything was jkldsgbnosighasdh
Now anyway, onto Past Sins, because apparently I'm the official spokesperson for it or something.
You should read it because it has a good story, with a few plot threads that really mesh well with each other. The writing isn't as complex as some people would like, but I feel that doesn't take away from it at all. While it could benefit, it certainly doesn't hurt it. It makes it very accessible and easy to get into. Some people bash it for the characterization, and there's probably some legitimate points in there, but also probably a lot of exaggeration.
Just... I don't know, fucking read it. It's 50x better than the garbage you reviewed here.
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445332
I have to write more journals like this, it would seem. :V
Calling MLD "an aggressively average fic" is an insult to average fics everywhere.
445071
I find RDP confusing and dumb, but the song from that episode is kind of... It sticks with you. <.<
445123
Writing flaws are ridiculously hard to notice when listening to a fic, unless your reader sticks precisely to what's written. But you're right, it probably is more a 3/5 now that I think of it.
445117
midnightshadow is rightest pony :V
445991
You... LISTENED... to this rather than read it?
445994
Apparently everyone has been too blinded by rage to actually the read the post.
So many jimmies. So much rustling. :3
445991
The bobbing makes it work.
446043
yes
And I still kind of don't like it, but I sure get it stuck in my head enough.
445991 Actually, that makes a lot of sense. Listening to a reading of it, with someone delivering the lines, would probably enhance it.
445332
It's like each of us like a fic that is shunned by everyone else. I'm always repping FoE, you're always repping PS, Nines likes MLD, and I guess Present has adopted RF.
BY OUR POWERS COMBINED
Ohohoho fuck you!
The thing about Rainbow Factory is that people imagine it's this big gorefest in the same style as Cupcakes. It was never intended to be that. Is it violent? Sure. Is it gory? It has its moments. It's supposed to be dark, but nothing like the bastion of grimdark people expect it to be.
Knowing the author personally, (heck, lynch me, it's primarily by my hoof that he became a brony, and I'm not saying that to brag.) I can tell you the original intent was just to tell a dark story he had in mind. It's not what most people think it is.
Somehow I suspect if you read this today it would get a "Vaguely recommended".
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Probly. :B Except it's too important so it get numbers.