Equestria Girls: Choose Your Own Ending Review (Spoilers) · 11:56pm Jan 12th, 2018
The other day, I binge-watched the latest batch of Equestria Girls minisodes, which can be found (if you live in the US) on the Discovery Family Go app. Otherwise, you'll have to hunt them down piecemeal on Youtube.
There are ten "episodes" of the CYOE "season", with three versions of each episode--the first 60 to 90 seconds or so of each version are the same, with the rest of the episode playing out differently depending on which character attempts to help solve the problem presented. The entire season centers around the production and performance of a school play, though not every episode is directly related in some way to the play.
With a total of 30 shorts for this season (10x3 episodes), the total running length is longer than an actual Equestria Girls movie, which is a good thing--and there are laughs galore to be had here, as well as a TON of fodder for OOCSST.
On with the show!
Best Trends Forever
The students are filming a school newscast. After Flash does the weather forecast, Rarity steps in to cover her forecast for the latest trends. However, she forgot her reference manual to hot trends and styles, so she improvises based on her friends who are standing nearby...
--> Pinkie: Rarity starts a confetti craze, leading Pinkie to stuff every conceivable enclosed space in CHS with explosive amounts of confetti. The other girls wind up having to clean everything up before Principal Celestia gets angry. They manage to finish cleaning up the halls, and Celestia congratulates them on their hard work, while admonishing Pinkie to dial it back on the confetti. Then, she opens her office door and a tidal wave of confetti floods the halls and buries them all. The short ends with Rarity predicting the next hot trend will be detention.
-->Rainbow Dash: Rarity states the new hot trend is rainbows. This prompts everyone in the school to start wearing rainbow wigs, which creeps Rarity out. She navigates the halls full of Rainbow Dash lookalikes, narrating the whole thing Rod Serling style. (There's a certain sequence in this one that will meme like fuck.)
-->Twilight Sparkle: Rarity declares the next trend to be "smart chic", setting off a wave of Twilight-glasses-wearing fake-nerd wannabes which bugs Twilight out and inconveniences her because now there's a waiting list to check out the nerd book she wanted from the library.
(I laughed my ass off at this whole thing and it has the most OOCSST potential of ALL the CYOEs.)
Fluttershy's Butterflies
CHS' Fall Play, "Dazzled", is announced, and the Rainbooms all decide to audition for parts. Fluttershy is nervous about doing a solo audition, so her friends try to help her get over her nerves...
-->Rainbow Dash: In order to help her get used to speaking in front of a crowd, Rainbow has Fluttershy be the announcer for a school soccer game. She gets into it, and it helps her get over her stage fright.
-->Applejack: Applejack advises Fluttershy to picture everybody in the audience as chickens to help her get over her stage fright. Fluttershy nails the audition, but later reveals she instead pictured everyone as Applejack encouraging her. (Yeah, this one was kind of boring.)
-->DJ PON-3: Vinyl programs an over-the-top smoke-and-lights stage introduction which leads into a virtual Fluttershy performing her audition line.
(This was honestly the least interesting of the CYOEs. The soccer one was kinda fun though.)
Text Support (Possibly my personal favorite overall)
Twilight Sparkle receives a mysterious and confusing string of emojis from Timber Spruce, and drives herself into a tizzy trying to figure it out. Her friends offer to help...
-->Rarity: Rarity hijacks Twilight's phone, texts emojis back and forth with Timber while laughing at how witty he is, and sets Twilight up for a date to have ice cream with Timber. We never DO find out what the original text meant.
-->Fluttershy: Fluttershy confidently rattles off a string of animal emojis to respond to the text with. Twilight dutifully enters them and sends them, then asks Fluttershy what all that meant. Fluttershy says, "Oh, I just really like animal emojis." (Or something to that effect). However, Timber interprets the text as an invite to a date at the zoo, and accepts.
-->Sunset Shimmer: Best Human does the most sensible thing: she takes Twi's phone, CALLS Timber, and asks him what the emoji blast was supposed to mean. The whole time, Twilight freaks out and it's HILARIOUS. "You just...boy talked...mouth words...phone!" Turns out Timber was asking Twilight out to play mini-golf.
(The thing that surprises me about this one is that Sci-Twi is a Texting Teen, which it doesn't seem like she'd be given her friendless, socially awkward background.)
Stressed in Show
Twilight Sparkle is stressed out because she's doing too many things related to the play. She has her own part to learn, she's helping others run lines, and she's helping build the set, among other things. Sunset Shimmer encourages her to take a break and destress...
-->Fluttershy: Fluttershy takes Twilight out to the forest to frolic with cute cuddly animals. Ultimately, with the help of a whole bunch of animals, Twilight is able to relax.
-->Rainbow Dash: Rainbow wears Twilight out with a relentless exercise regimen, running her and playing sports with her until Twilight is too busy to think about the play. This has the added benefit of Twilight getting pretty good at sports. Sunset Shimmer, on the other hand, passes out from exhaustion after trying to keep up with the two of them.
-->Pinkie Pie: Pinkie's idea of helping Twilight deal with her stress over the play is replacing one source of stress with another. All day long, she pops up in front of Twilight at random until Twilight is so frustrated and stressed out about where Pinkie Pie is going to show up next that she forgets all about the play.
(The one with Rainbow and sports is a lot of fun. The Pinkie one makes me want to SLAP Pinkie.)
Driving Miss Shimmer
Sunset Shimmer has failed her driving test due to lack of experience, and she only has one shot at a make-up test. She asks her friends for help...
-->Applejack: Applejack and Granny Smith bust out Granny's old busted-ass pickup truck to help Sunset practice driving, but the truck gets a flat tire. The only thing Sunset really learns from them is how to change a flat, but it turns out to be exactly the skill she needs when the car she's driving for her test gets a flat. (Cranky Doodle deserves a punch in the face in this one for thinking it's "fair" to fail Sunset on the retake for a flat tire that isn't her fault.)
-->Rarity: Completely missing the point as is her wont, Rarity rents a limo and has the two of them driven around town while she gives Sunset completely useless tips on how to throw a proper limo party. Once Sunset's had enough of Rarity's shit, they convince the driver to let Sunset have a turn at the wheel, and miraculously not only does she not wreck an expensive stretch limo, she learns parallel parking, which was her shakiest skill on the practical test. (There's...so much wrong with this one I don't even know where to START.)
-->Fluttershy: Fluttershy takes Sunset out in her cute little car. As Sunset's ready to get some driving done, Fluttershy busts out her "Driving Safety Rhyme", which at first annoys Sunset, but she later finds herself reciting the rhyme as she prepares for her driving test, which impresses Cranky Doodle.
(Fluttershy's Driving Safety Rhyme is SO ADORABLE.)
Rarity Investigates: The Case of the Bedazzled Boot
A prop for the play--a gem-encrusted boot--goes missing, and Rarity, who plays the lead who wears the boots and also made the boots, goes into detective mode in her search for the boot in this hilarious spiritual sequel to the season five episode "Rarity Investigates".
-->Pinkie Pie: Rarity interrogates Pinkie Pie, who cracks under pressure and confesses to something completely unrelated to the boot, which leads to an eyebrow-raising moment involving dirty spoons. The boot turns out to be under a pile of costumes.
-->Trixie: Rarity and Trixie engage in a long battle of inner-monologuing staredowns and imperious "I can out-bitch you" posturing. When Rarity breaks out her makeup bag, Trixie realizes Rarity can outlast her and gets up to leave, but she trips on a trail of rhinestones, which they follow to Spike and the missing boot.
-->Applejack: Questioning Applejack leads Rarity to discover the culprit: Maud Pie, who has taken the boot because she's enamored with its rhinestones. (This one has some HILARIOUS moments that you have to see for yourself.)
All The World's Off Stage
Sunset Shimmer is the assistant director for the play and is overseeing preparations. During rehearsal, she gets aggravated with Snips and Snails for not moving a heavy "Shiny City" setpiece into place in time with the dancers. They complain that it's too heavy to haul, so Sunset looks to others for assistance...
-->Twilight Sparkle: Sunset asks Twilight to use her magic, but Twilight insists on using robots to do the work.
-->Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie replaces the Shiny City set with one made entirely out of balloons, making it easy to float across the stage.
-->Micro Chips: Chips is able to convince Bulk Biceps to pull the heavy set.
Constructive Criticism
Applejack smashes her thumb with a hammer while building the set. Now unable to finish building in time, she turns to her friends for help...
-->Rainbow Dash: Using her super speed, Rainbow Dash builds the set based not on the carefully measured blueprints, but on Applejack's vision board which contained ideas she knew she wouldn't have time for. This results in an even better set than the one Applejack planned. Also, Rainbow Dash read her diary.
-->Pinkie Pie: Pinkie Pie builds the set while practicing her drum solo at the same time.
-->Photo Finish: Photo Finish and her goons ignore Applejack's blueprints (and the tools, lumber, and hardware) and "build" the set out of cameras and lasers.
Opening Night
It's finally opening night of the play! Everything's going smoothly up until it's time for Fluttershy to deliver her one and only line. The bell prop she has to ring before saying her line is knocked down by Snips and Snails, leaving Fluttershy frozen in the spotlight. Her friends rush to her rescue...
-->Applejack: Applejack rushes out onto the stage in a tree costume and picks up the bell so Fluttershy can ring it and say her line.
-->Twilight Sparkle: Sunset signals Twilight to use her magic to pick up the bell so Fluttershy can get through her line.
-->Sunset Shimmer: Oy vey.
Just...oy vey.
Sunset Shimmer decides the best way to deal with this is to rush out onto the stage and deliver this awkward as fuck monologue about the message of the play and the metaphor of the bell and...I'm sorry. It's just...cringeworthy to watch.
Sunset makes a total ding-dong of herself, and Fluttershy delivers her line.
(I'm sorry, but out of four movies, three specials, and a barrage of shorts and minisodes, this is the one and only time I have ever truly wanted to just SMACK Sunset upside the head. Seriously.)
Happily Ever After Party
In the final episode of the CYOE "season", everyone's ready to kick back and enjoy a wrap party for the play, but the CMCs are disappointed because they put together this slide show of everyone having fun together putting on the show and planned to show it at the party, but Cranky Doodle won't let them use his slide projector. It's up to their big sisters to help them out...
-->Applejack: Applejack engages Cranky Doodle in a "stubborn-off" while the CMCs steal the projector.
-->Rainbow Dash: While the CMCs distract Cranky Doodle with a "math emergency", Rainbow steals the projector. Her sequence involves a lot of unnecessary combat rolls and fake ninja-ing.
-->Rarity: Rarity puts on a "prosecuting attorney" act to pressure Cranky Doodle into turning over the projector, since it belongs to the school and not to him personally. After applying enough pressure, she convinces him to let them borrow the projector as long as he's close by to supervise it--meaning he attends the party.
Basically, anything involving Rarity in ANY of these shorts (with the possible exception of the limo bit, YIKES) is an epic win. All in all, they're a lot of fun, and all the girls get to rock a variety of new outfits. Of particular note is the simple but sexy black T-shirt and jeans Sunset wears as her AD outfit.
That horribly awkward monologue though...yikes.
I loved these shorts, in particular seeing Sunset boss Snips and Snails around was surprisingly nostalgic. I never thought I would want to see Sunset interacting with those 2 again but I am totally up for it in the future.
These shorts were really fun and I agree with most of what you said. Sunset’s monologue was just embarrassing for her.
Really? It’s my least favorite because Twi is still with Timber. The best ending for that one is Sunset’s, not just because she uses common sense and calls Timber but it has the least romantic outcome.
Plus Flash and Twi get cast as husband and wife in the play, so bonus points. What do you think of Flash’s new look by the way? I like it, though at the same time I will miss his old rocker hair.
I blame you for making me seek some of the alternate endings out. Also.....while choosing Rainbow for Flutters's stage fright is very likely best.....I do enjoy seeing Flutters and Vinyl interact. n_n
These were a lot of fun, and your write-ups are spot-on. The one thing I see a little different is I can totally see Sci-Twi as a texter, mostly because of her social awkwardness. Same as with myself, texting gives a bit more of a separation from others. I hate talking on the phone (even tho I'm old enough that most would expect me to prefer it.) I can also understand her confusion with the Emojis. I'm the kind of person who tries to use proper punctuation, capitalization, etc. when texting and I could see Twi doing the same.
That monologue tho - I'm usually pretty cringe resistant but that thing was painful!
4772405
Flash's new look is like Ash's new look every new season of Pokemon. It's not really enough of a change to warrant interest.
4772417
I'm kind of the same way. Frankly I'm just surprised he's apparently still relevant enough to warrant getting a new look. Maybe they really do intend to push that FlashxSunset ship in the future.
Rarity deserves her own spinoff =3
Like a noir hard boiled detective show
Yeah, a lot of these shorts were fun. My personal favorite probably would be Best Trends Forever or Rarity Investigates. Although I did straight-up guffaw at Rainbow Dash's "fairy bootmother" costume. How the hell did she get that part? XD
4772447
She must've been a shoe-in for it.
4772460
...
I should have realized something like that...
You know. Driving Miss Shimmer points that Sunset can't hang out with anyone who isin't her 6 friends. The reason for this is because of the characters in EQG we have seen 3 others drive and have their own cars: Big Mac, Flash and Vinyl and well it would have been more interesting if they used these 3 instead of what we got.
Thus far only Vinyl, Micro Chips and Trixie had an option to be chosen.
Sci-Twi is probably used to typing all her thoughts and texting with peers. Not really friendships, definitely not enough to learn teen slang, but enough that texting comes natural to her.