Fertility Contest: story notes · 12:33am Nov 1st, 2017
Every now and then you come across a list of weird laws. And some of them are weird, like that you can't tie an alligator to a fire hydrant in Detroit.
Of course, without looking up the relevant statute, I don't know if it's legal to tie any animal to a fire hydrant in Detroit. Dogs might also be prohibited, along with cats, pigs, horses, cows, snakes, stegosauruses (or is that stegosauri?). . .
I also once watched an episode of Tom Scott where he and a friend were trying to break ten silly London laws in one day. The last one was where Tom's friend hit him with a fish. I can't remember if it was illegal to hit someone with a fish, or illegal to buy a fish for the purpose of committing a crime, or illegal to use a fish--however it was obtained--in a crime. I personally prefer the last two, and I'm not re-watching the video to see what it is.
Of course, those laws might have come about for a very good reason. Perhaps there was a wave of fish-based crime around London. Hordes of ruffians mugging people at mackerel-point, that kind of thing. I don't know.
There are many ways to pick a leader, and I could spend the rest of the day listing them and picking out their advantages and disadvantages. From watery tarts throwing a sword at you to a popular election, and everything in between. And some places have qualifications for being the leader, whether it be that you have to be a member of the Royal Family, or have reached a certain age, or whatever. I presume not meeting those qualifications immediately puts you out of the running.
One thing about Earth Ponies is that they grow stuff. So it stands to reason that one qualification in an Earth Pony town might be that you have to prove you can. That would get rid of impostors in their midst, like some two-bit charlatan who wears a hat.
Like many laws, it probably isn't enforced any more. Ponyville is no longer a one-tribe town; they've even got a Zebra. But if the law is still on the books, it can be, for better or worse.
Night Flower and Toffer are both slang terms for prostitute.
Jessamine is a flower, and there is a variety called Night-Blooming Jessamine.
Somebody is going to tell me the name of the pony on the cover image, and I bet it won't be Night Flower. Truth is, I spent a lot of time looking for a sultry unicorn that wasn't a well-known pony or an OC. And yes, I looked for one called Night Flower.
And of course I found one, because there's some rule of the internet that if it exists, there is a pony of it.
It should be fairly obvious where the chapter title came from. If you're not sure, ask your mommy or daddy about the birds and the bees as they specifically apply to equines.
Obligatory
It was the last option with the fish.
4713696
Illegal to use a fish to commit a crime?
I love England.
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imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_important_field.png
Thanks, Randall!
I think the reason for the law about it being illegal to herd sheep accross Westminster bridge unless you are a lord or something, is because between the Houses of Parliament, and St Thomass Hospital on the other bank of the Thames at that point, before the Embankments were built, is a ford accross the river. So if you were a poor drover going to market, you waited till low tide and tried to get the merchandise accross without too many flloating downriver?
There is an ongoing scandal over here. Members of Federal parliament are not permitted to hold dual citizenship. It turns out that a bunch of them unknowingly were. Our deputy prime minister decried these people, claiming that ignorance was no excuse.
Guess who happened to hold dual citizenship with New Zealand?
Schadenfreude all over the place at the moment...
According to Scandinavia and the World, there's still a law on the Danish books saying that if the sea between Denmark and Sweden freezes, and a Swede walks across to Denmark, that the Danes get to hit him with sticks. There's no equivalent law for Norway, so Norwegians are free to walk across the frozen ocean to visit their Danish friends.
4713747
Does the rule of thumb apply, or may one bring an ash quarterstaff?
Edit: Not blaming the link, but that site redirected me to a fullscreen gift card scam popup. Be wary.
4713787
Hrm. The link works fine for me, even if I'm going through my post and not my favorite.
I've been getting a lot of those on my phone recently, even with most of my browsing being fimfiction.
Was there something new that we missed?
Setting aside the dull and boring fact that lawmakers tend to create laws for no purpose but to look busy, it could be an interesting exercise to find out why so many silly laws came to exist.
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Walk not into the dark, giant chasm in the earth... for it is a dark, giant chasm, and walking into it is generally ill-advised.
Also, it has teeth.
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with . . . a herring.
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Some places in the US, it's probably easier to buy a gun than spray paint. And you can't bring a Kinder Egg into the US, even for personal consumption.
4713715
I'd imagine back in the day, all the bargees were trying to get downriver, and they were blocked by sheep. Darn sheep.
4713739
That kind of thing has happened here, as well. Usually, it's more local elections, where the potential electee finds out that they aren't allowed to live outside the county, or something like that.
But speaking of dual citizenship, IIRC Ted Cruz renounced the Canadian half of his citizenship when he ran for president. Not because he had to (as far as the pundits knew; that had never actually been an issue in the past, so there were no court rulings to determine if the President had to be only an American or if dual citizenship was okay), but because it wouldn't play well to his base.
4713747
The sea wasn't frozen at the time, but I sailed (on a large ship) from Denmark to Norway once. Nobody hit me with sticks, luckily.
4713847
I think in general there is a purpose to the laws that made sense when it was passed, since the lawmakers generally have to get people on board with voting on them. Of course, the purpose of the law might have been lost to time, and it also might not have been a good law to begin with.
4715534
You must not be Swedish then.
4715526
If they're blocking the river, that would make them dam sheep.
4715524
That’s the gun lobby for you.
4715709
Nope, 'Murican through and through. There's a decent chance I'll actually be alive to celebrate my family's 400th anniversary of emigrating to America.
4715797
<groans>
4715845
Yeah, pretty much.