Story Reviews: "It Came From The Rock Farm" edition · 11:29am Aug 24th, 2017
I don't often recommend stories, but if you're into the Pie sisters and/or horror, today I'd like to ask you to consider checking out two tales that are criminally low on views and votes. And it's not just because I'm partial to the sisterly duo of Limestone and Marble Pie who are featured in both of these, though I certainly am and Lord knows that doesn't hurt.
(Tagging with Love, Or Something Like It for possible horror appeal.)
A Good Sun Day
by Waxworks
17,631 words
Before I get into this one, I should warn you that despite its Teen rating, its ending brings with it a pretty huge unadvertised trigger warning. I might in fact argue that it's missing a Tragedy tag, as it does not end well at all due to the progression of each character acting on their flaws and continuing to do bad in the name of doing good. But IMO that's part of what makes this story effective as horror: it lulls you in with its slow-paced beginning and peaceful visual descriptions, all while building deep sympathy for Marble and her situation--which sets a trap that will eventually spring on you.
During the story, Marble finds a special kind of magical flower that serves as a metaphor for Marble herself. While that could very easily devolve into cheese, I felt like the metaphor was natural and unobtrusive. But then, almost before you know it, the story begins tugging your sympathies in a horrifying direction. The flower's beauty fades into ugliness, and Marble's determination not to let her life be controlled by others twists her into following a very dark path. I felt like her approach to gaining freedom was clever and poetic at first, though toward the end I became unnerved by how gleeful she seemed. By the end she is consumed completely by her desires, and it's at that point where the story lost me a teensy bit. But the story held me tightly all the way through the early phases of what she was doing, and by the point I started feeling unnerved by it I was so hooked that I didn't want to stop reading. The story's Thriller tag belongs, even though it takes a while to demonstrate why.
Central to Marble's depiction in this story is a desire to create and share beauty; and while the story takes us on a journey through the corruption of that desire, I felt like--by the end--Marble had lost that desire entirely, which blunted my satisfaction with her arc. If anything, it felt like what we got for a few moments was a more canon-friendly stone-cold-crazy Pinkamena type of character. I found that to be an interesting direction to take Marble in, given that she's Pinkie's twin; such a portrayal could allow an author to "go there" without upsetting all of Pinkie's growth and character development in canon. And in this case I'm open to the possibility that her corruption is so great by the end that she thinks what she's doing is beautiful, as the text certainly seems to point toward that interpretation. I just feel like the story could've done a bit more to persuade me about the last few leaps that it takes for her to get fully there; as it is, they're rather fast, which is jarring (and not in a good way) given the slow pace of the early part of the story.
Nevertheless, this was an absolute joy of a creepy ride, and I feel it's worth a read. I felt deep catharsis due to the tragic and horrific resolution, even though I might've hoped for some differences in the specific way it ended.
A Copper Cicada, Underground
by WritingSpirit
4,671 words
This story is much, much, much shorter than the last. Though I read it prior to reading A Good Sun Day and the two are in no way related, I feel this almost works as a "fix fic" for that story's ending. Because here we have a Marble falling into corruption, although this time her family is more perceptive, leading to a fundamentally different kind of conflict.
The horror aspect of this story comes from the eponymous cicadas and the way they affect the Pie sisters. The best word I can think of to describe them is "Lovecraftian." While (minor spoiler) we never get to fully understand what they really are, we get to experience their affects through Limestone's eyes, and those affects are definitely of the drive-you-mad variety. We also get to see the way they affect Marble through Limestone's eyes, leading to a rather chilling confrontation with a pony who has gone off the deep end.
While the story's setup is strong, and the mood alternates effectively between heavy grey reality and the dark madness brought by the cicadas, I felt the ending was a bit convenient, in that it stretches one of its early themes past the point of foreshadowing and out to the point where it's more of a contrivance. It's not a bad ending per se; if anything, the depth of backstory that it suggests is a welcome anchor for the madness visited upon the Pie sisters. But it implies that certain characters possess a certain degree of knowledge about the cicadas that, at least to me, begged the question of why they didn't take further precautions against them. And I do feel that there could've been stronger hints about what those characters knew, which would've made the revelation of that knowledge less of a surprise at the end.
Alright guys, this is where I would ask you to like and subscribe if I was some hip young Youtuber and not an aging MLP nerd. 
Let me know what you think of the stories and/or the reviews, as well as if you want to see more of those!
You had me at "Pie sisters and/or horror". Consider these on my RiL.
What is it about the Pies that makes people, including me, want to write horror stories about them? Mine involved cicadas as well, no less. So now I have to read this...
I'll check them out
Really grateful for the review, so thanks for that!
Also, I'm really happy you brought A Good Sun Day to my attention as well! Gave it a read and was absolutely floored. In fact, I'm actually quite annoyed I haven't thought up whatever Waxworks did with his story. The whole thing to me just reeks of Tarkovsky's The Mirror, which really says something about how wonderful it is. Think the only little complaint I had was that the ending came a little too quickly, which, strangely enough, could be said for my story as well
By the way, Waxworks, if you're reading this, you did a fantastic job!
Again, thanks for the feature!
I have no time and yet I must read...