Not with a bang, but a whimper · 6:07pm Apr 11th, 2023
Hey friends.
I didn’t used to believe in writer’s block as such. I always thought the phenomenon was a manifestation of something else in a person’s life. I also thought the cure for it was just to sit down and write any garbage you can. Editing should never mix with drafting, and if you can get yourself to stop editing, you’ll achieve more and better drafting—which can then be edited.
I didn’t realize that depression and its treatment could so totally turn off the tap of that creative wellspring. I still believe that writing is a skill that can be learned, and that many people are more capable of it than they know. But I have a much deeper appreciation of what it takes to even get to your writing desk now. I understand more things that might stop you, in part because some of them are stopping me.
I’ve never wanted to “leave the fandom,” even as I’ve been less active through the pandemic. Ponies still make me smile. I just can’t get this writing thing to work. This isn’t super different than my state of play a year and a half ago, but it reflects that much more time trying.
Good pony stories will still get written. I hope we all continue to enjoy them. But I need to stop beating my own dead horse. I need to quit while I’m behind. Or just give myself permission to stop trying for now.
It's been good having you. Here's hoping the wellspring refreshes. And there's plenty to read in the meantime.
In the day you were a very good writer, I am glad you shared. I'm sorry to see you go, but you are right, if the magic isn't there right now it isn't there and you should move on with your life. Hopefully things will change and you will return someday, but even if you don't, well at least you shared and have left a legacy here on FimFiction. I wish you the best and may God bless you as you move forward.
Don't try to rank your writing by quality or quantity. I claim to write to get better at writing, and that's true as far as it goes. I believe part of why I write is a form of therapy, a bit of "I'm smarter than I keep criticizing myself about" because I'm terrible about downplaying my own noggin. After all, I can play Raft for days and not get any internal back-pats, but a good story gives me a dozen or so, and I can go back to older ones and bask in the former glory.
Which reminds me, I need to get busy...
I hope you will get better. Take care of yourself.
Get some rest. It's okay to get burnt out and need some space. Not every break needs to be forever, and not every break has to be temporary. Do what feels right. If you wanna come back you can. If not, you don't have to. Relax and do what you've gotta do to take care of yourself.
Take as long as you need away. Even if it's permanent, we still have your stories and the good memories. Depression is a tough beast to fight, but I have confidence you can succeed,
I rarely publish anymore, but once in a while inspiration still strikes. I hope if you get the itch again, you'll indulge it. Sometimes writing short works helps, like the writeoff minific rounds (both pony and original) or the Flashfic 150 monthly prompts. You can always hit me up via PM or Discord if you want to bounce some ideas around or talk non-pony stuff.
your health comes first! be well :)
You're still one of my favorite authors no matter what.
Look after yourself.
I really think you need to just do what you feel is healthiest for you.
Your health and well-being come first, full-stop.
I'll definitely miss my favorite editor, but if you need time, you really need to take it.
Oh, and don't go doing that thing where you try to come back to it before you're ready.
Hope to see you around again soon.