Rush To Judgment VI: When In Doubt, Go Shopping · 7:23pm Jul 28th, 2017
It's not exactly a secret that I've been having trouble writing this month, and -- well, now everyone knows why. So I thought I'd try something light tomorrow. A pure fluff piece. Just trying to break through any way I can. And since there's some lead time on this one, it felt like a good time to break out the usual game.
For the newbies, it works like this: I'm going to post a little bit of very basic information about the upcoming story. You then post your best guess as to what that story is actually about in the Comments section. Best answer wins a deluxe No-Prize!
(That's right. The winner can save this image to their hard drive. As many times as they like.)
Main Character: Mr. Rich. ('Filthy' to Absolutely Nopony.)
Others: Various Ponyville residents, some Barnyard Bargains employees.
Setting: Mostly in and around Barnyard Bargains itself -- although it starts outside the store, with Mr. Rich passing somepony's residence.
Timeline placement: Starts sometime after Barnyard Barge-Ins. Probably the following winter, just as it's starting to verge into spring. The story itself would be a series of snapshots over two or three moons.
Title: Cart-ography
Ready? Set? Rush -- To -- Judgment!
Mr Rich embarks on on long and perilous journey to recover a lost Barnyard Bargains shopping cart , passing flutttershys house on the way to a certain (totally chaotic) trash heap
Someone has stolen or lost a shopping cart. Mr Rich wants it back and will go to any length to get it.
Shopping carts cost money. Low end $75-$150. High end $300-$400
In the wake of the Blackest Friday, Mr. Rich decides to do better than just repair the store. He's going to optimize the layout of Barnyard Bargains. And he's going to try again and again and...
Every shopping cart has a piece of a treasure map on it. When brought together in thed correct order, the location of the fabulous prize will be revealed.
Well, we've already seen some dialogue on the complication of shopping carts, i.e. it's difficult to push one in front of you unless you're a unicorn (and then you have to stop to float something into it) and you can't keep an eye on it if you put it behind you.
Filthy Rich is tired of all of the complaints he's gotten from customers about the shopping carts in Barnyard Bargains. Since most of them were destroyed or 'relocated' during Darkest Friday, he decides to have two of Ponyville's resident geniuses design new ones that will stop the complaining once and for all.
Too bad he hired Rachette and Twilight to handle the design and production.
"Ma'am!" thundered Filthy Rich at the top of his lungs. "The shopping carts are supposed to follow you around the store while you select items from the shelves!"
"But they pick out extra things," whined Bon Bon. "And that cart with the dent in the front basket has followed me home six times this week! It keeps hanging around the back door whenever Lyra is practicing."
"Oh." Filthy Rich considered the self-motivational spell that Twilight had designed, and the Acoustally Programmed All-Purpose Child Restraint and Object Selection Assistance Tentacles (AP2CROSAT) that Rachette had placed on several of the trial units. "I wonder if the store music has anything to do with their extra activities," he mused. "Do you hum when you're leaving the store and heading home?"
"Doesn't everypony?" said Bon Bon.
Rich has finally caught the pony with the bug eyed glasses that keeps stealing his carts and taking them back to his shed. The story follows their back and forth as they invent new ways to take the carts back from each other.
Ponies (Flimflam Bros. Cameo!) invent electric mobility scooters for ponies who find it hard to walk while shopping. Filthy Rich, commercial pioneer that he is, buys many. This is abused by idiots.
For added fun, the Cutie Mark Crusaders invent Mario Kart via said electric scooters and a perplexed Tank.
The logistics of strategic placement of shopping aisles and the riot ensuing.
Mr. Rich needs a new supplier of shopping carts after a fiasco blamed on the old ones, so he calls in a representative of each company to explain why he should go with their models. However, the charts they bring in are difficult to decipher, so he ends up buying one of each and having them monitored for benefits and problems.
Too bad the problems he encounters during the period are atypical...
Mr. Rich invents the shopping trolley.
During a walk through town, Mr. Rich notices all the spots trolleys have been abandoned. The cloud puzzles and infuriates him.
Teenagers + trolleys + hill = reckless new sport & police enquiries.
I look forward to reading whatever you come up with.
Mr. Rich explores the very edge of how many maps one cart can hold. This culminates with the design and construction of the ultimate purpose designed map-holding cart, which everyone agrees is very impressive but no one buys because that's really quite useless.
of course i thought of this:
Just to be different:
Mr. Rich lets a used cart salespony display a few of his better pieces in front of his shop.