Where the hell have I been? · 5:49pm Oct 9th, 2012
Don't ask. It's not that I don't want to talk about it. I actually really do want to talk about it, I just can't pin down exactly what the hell happened well enough to describe it to someone else. Believe me, I've spent the past few weeks throwing away drafts of posts trying to explain it, but it would probably help if I could even explain it to myself first.
Here's the short version: Nothing happened. Nothing at all. And yet, somehow, out of fucking nowhere, I developed a terrible case of head-fucked. I don't even know, but all I've been able to do for the past... I don't even know how many months anymore, but all I've been able to do is just survive. Every time I try to push myself to do something productive, my brain just quietly rearranges itself into a configuration where I was going to do some stupid thing like play games instead (and don't think I don't notice, you bastard). So I'm just sitting here with piles of random anxiety, guilt over projects unfinished, and some video game or another up on my screen... which doesn't exactly do wonders for the guilt part either.
But let me make one thing very clear: Perfect For Me will not be canceled. Ever. However long it takes me to finish it, it will be finished someday. If I have to take the final chapters to my grave with me, I'll goddamn well come back and haunt FIMFiction until I've written and posted the last one. I've abandoned too many projects already in my life, and it is not. Happening. Again. I'll find a way to complete each and every one of my unfinished projects for the pony community, and fight this... whatever the hell it is. Head-fuckedupness.
It just might not be tomorrow. Or this month. But dammit, it'll happen.
I think the first step is to stop filing away perfectly good ideas for other short stories in the "later" bin because I would feel too guilty about working on that instead of Perfect For Me. Maybe some more variety will do me good, who knows. If I finish anything, you all will be the first to know.
Oh, I do have a non-pony-related short I can share, if anyone's interested. I swear it actually isn't MLP-inspired. I did nick a little something from a favorite ongoing fic of mine, though.
Menharin's Story (Dungeons and Dragons)
Starting up a D&D campaign, my fiance insisted that every DM should have an NPC of their own to play. I said I'd have my hands full running the campaign. So I offered a compromise: I would play her character's horse. This is his account of their meeting.
I love you //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
I'm glad to have you back; I'd begun to think that you had been abducted by aliens, or thrown into the warp... Anyways I hope you can get a chapter out soon
"If I have to take the final chapters to my grave with me, I'll goddamn well come back and haunt FIMFiction until I've written and posted the last one." Lol that made my day
.
were you aware your side story is unpublished?
You know, that's exactly how I am. I know if I start studying seriously today, I'll be fine, I'll have plenty of time to catch up and learn everything and ace every exam. But why do something today if there is next week?
I've been there, man.
Sometimes life just piles up, and you reach a certain critical mass where the cost of initiating the momentum needed to get past the mess piles up to the point where you just... can't... start. Thus, spending your energy on random "easy" stuff, rather than the seemingly harder stuff that you actually want to do. There may not even be a specific thing to point to, that you can say, "Yes, this is the cause". Often, there is no single cause.
Like I said, I've been there. I can only say, it will pass.
Good to have you back. Don't pressure yourself for our sakes. Your work is worth waiting for, however long it takes.
Have a happy Twilight:
Editing to add: Yeah, if you're stuck on one story but still want to write, work on other projects for a while. Seriously, it will help clear your head.
Man, if this was an -itis, DSM4 would have me all up in this.
shit happens. it's called getting burnt btw, all you needed to do was decompress and release the stress whether you knew you had it or not
Yeah. Um... playing your fiancee's horse... um...
Well at least it's not an unfamiliar role?
On the other hand. Welcome to my entire life.
I file all the "perfectly good idea's" under the recycling bin. I can't afford to get distracted from CotH.
Glad to see you're still alive! Been worried about you!
Awakened horse?
412540
Aw, I love you too. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_bedroomeyes.png
412545
Maybe I did fall into some kind of time rift. It certainly feels like I've lost a couple months.
412553
Actually, yes! I was waiting until I had a solid second chapter to front page it, so people picking it up there would have a larger sample of the story and a bigger reason to go check out its parent fic. (Also, I'm kind of curious to see what'll happen if a story already has a fistful of upvotes when it gets accepted.)
412557
That's particularly encouraging to hear from someone with a proven track record of being able to finish things! Thanks.
412615
I know, right? So many awful jokes just waiting to be made. And of course I've already got hundreds of terrible/awful horse puns handy, because ponies.
412644
I'm sorry. I know you'll tell me not to, but I feel so guilty!
412663
Pretty much. If asked, he tells people it's because he was raised by humans. It makes perfect sense until you think about it. Actually, it was a wish spell gone awry. Because I thought that literally using "a wizard did it" was extraordinarily clever of me.
412750
I've recently made good friends with a super ultra grammar nazi that just started working his way up my story, so if you like, you can take me off the "to do" list. But I still want you to finish reading my story!
it will be one less thing for you to worry about.
Remember: if there's anything you need, or something you want help with, you have a ton of people right here willing to listen. We got your back, dude.
I and my college career know that feel, bro.
You are alive!
412750 Well allow me to educate you, when it goes live, people see those upvotes, respond, and it gets featured. then for about 3 days you get lots of cross favories. How do I know? because I did that when Green added mature scenes.
Mmm. I'm currently in the exactly situation you were/are in. I have absolutely no control over my life and what I actually do in it, and that secretly terrifies me. I, too, have stories lying languid in my computer, waiting for me to get my act together and write. But it's just not happening. My grades are slipping, my projects are failing, my promises are falling apart... I'm kind of a mess.
Pretty sure the same thing is happening to me right now.
No sweat man.
412750 //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_gaze.png
Headfuckedupness... the silent killer.
I'm going to hold you to that promise, Gentlecolt, you'd better finish... Please, please, please, please, please?!
I know that feel, brony. No, really. Even down to the guilt part. I got out of Slumpville last year when I went snowboarding and had an awesome time. It seems the cure is hanging out with like-minded individuals with similar interests.
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSqSdRcXUnBbCgirNj0JKzHgwCFGxy8LMQ3d48K6eaBQ9nwzm6a
Doctor Twilight prescribes friendship.
What you need is deadlines and a strong goal. Never underestimate the power of stress and desperation!
412872
Thanks. That's one of the reasons I love this place. The ideas of "fans", "peers", and "friends" all get sort of mushed up into one warm, fuzzy bundle of support and encouragement.
412983
Yep. And I fully intend to stay that way.
413426
If it helps, I felt just a little bit better as soon as I posted this. Just telling everyone "Hey, I'm still here, but I'm having some trouble." If you haven't, I recommend it. Beyond that... good luck. Here's hoping we both get out of it soon.
414116
I think you're exactly right there. One of my biggest problems is the complete lack of like-minded people that I can hang out with in person, and I do let it get to me pretty bad sometimes.
414316
You're not wrong about that. I work very well when I've got a set deadline (if only because I'm really good at estimating exactly how long I need to set aside to do something at the last possible second), but unfortunately I have a bad habit of wriggling out of any deadline or goal that I'm not absolutely tied to.
I'm pretty much in the same position. I can say transferring to a new and more difficult school is my excuse, but in actuality I know I could be doing better.
Nice story.
I'd wager a fair number of us, myself included, have been there or currently are there with you. I wish I could give you a surefire solution, but the best I can do is tell you I hope you pull out of it. Not just because I want to read more about the adventures of Twilight and herself (though that certainly is a part of it), but also because if you can drag yourself out of this slump, it'll give hope to the rest of us that maybe we can be productive again, too.
My best wishes to you, sir.
You know what? It's OK. We all have times like that. (I know I have, and recently, too.) We understand.
That said, it is good to see you're still around and kicking... or trying to kick, anyway. Hang in there! You can do it!
Fluttershy is cheering you on:
Motivation! Maybe. (I'm cheering you on too, by the way, but I don't have a picture for that.)
I am really looking forward to more Perfect for Me. I would also accept a scene in the cave with Twolight making love. That would be perfectly acceptable.
Title: Too Many Pinkie Pies
Synopsis: Overwhelmed with having to choose just one friend to spend time with, Pinkie Pie uses a magic mirror to clone herself.
Air Date: November 17, 2012
Overwhelmed with having to choose just one friend to spend time with, Pinkie Pie uses a magic mirror to clone herself.
Pinkie Pie uses a magic mirror to clone herself.
magic mirror to clone herself
Congratulations, your story is now supported by canon.
I dont blame you man, I mean sure, my brain has been driving me insane with the lack of goos clone-shipping, but where do you find good clone-shiping these days?
The only thing worse than that is mental blocks, i know that feel bro, but if you try something new, like a different story (a one-shot maybe), it helps for sure. I hope to see more from you soon :)
PS, thats just a nice way of saying YOU`RE DRIVING ME INSANE!!!
Also the magic mirror thing is now season 3. I think hasbro reads our story O.o
442822>>470773
Yep, mirror cloning is now canon. Muahaha.
470773
I've got a super dark one-shot in the works that just might make it to the point that I can release it. I have high hopes for it, anyway.
470986
Hey! Recovering, very slowly, I think. I've been able to lay out story ideas again, which I'd say is a good sign. Any exercise of creativity is a lot more than I had for those last two months.
470996 Good luck, and I hope to read it soon, provided it won`t give me nightmeres (Though are mares of the night always a bad thing?) dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png