New chapter in Thoughtletts - I blame Posh · 7:09pm Jul 18th, 2017
Posh posted a story called The Eating Habits of the Genus Strix today. It triggered me to make a comment (which filled up my impending chapter of Thoughtletts). I blame him. And Cold in Gardez. You'll see.
Once Spike had been chased off to other chores and Owlowicious had returned to his perch to sleep off the bloody meal, Twilight Sparkle took a few minutes to check out the damages. It really was not all that bad, since she had a spell to remove blood from fabric and had gotten quite a bit of practice with it due to the Crusader's tendency to run inside the library⁽*⁾ for medical treatment after any of their plans went sideways.
(*) Twilight tried to think of her 'patching-up' sessions more as basic anatomy lessons for the CMC than attempts to hide evidence of illicit mark-gaining activities from overprotective siblings.
She swept the leftover fur into the trash, mended a tiny rip in the chair's lining, and went outside to where the trash was put until collection day. Ostensibly, her task was for disposal, but as long as she was out there, she took a quick peek inside the rat tunnel that had been chewed into the library roots and counted the inhabitants.
As she suspected, there was one missing.
"Stupid owl," she muttered under her breath. "Hunt in your own territory. I was saving that one for a special occasion. Now I'll need to talk to Fluttershy again about getting a replacement." She heaved a sigh and returned to the library, considering just what other dietary changes she had undergone since she became a princess.
"Really, Twilight," Rarity said as she restored her coiffure from helping Blueblood with the "negotiations" with Yakyakistan, "your pet did you a favor."
"A favor? He ate a midnight snack I've been saving for weeks!"
Rarity clicked her tongue. "Twilight, a princess can not be seen eating rat. It is beneath her."
"That's why it was going to be a midnight snack."
"Even so, you are royalty now, darling." Rarity assumed an elegant pose that Twilight knew would make her look like she was about to sneeze if she tried to imitate it. "You must act the part. Present yourself accordingly. Dine on only the noblest fare."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "This is leading up to the Hayburger again, isn't it?"
"If you have ever valued our friendship, please at least stop wiping your muzzle with the next bite."
What Posh starts cannot be stopped.
4605497
See, Twilight? This is why posh restaurants have everything written in Fancee.
Mouse burger and hayfries? How boorish, crude, and barbaric! Perish the though darling!
Souris à la pomme de terre? Nothing but the finest Griffonic cuisine for our Princess!
4605497
I need to read this fic now.
4605497 Rarity paused, her ears perking up as if they were listening for an accustomed sound, now absent. "I'm just glad you're able to restrain yourself in other areas, darling. Why, some of the ponies around town were worried when you first became an alicorn. Can you imagine that they thought you might snack on house pets?"
"Ahhh..." Twilight squirmed, twisting one hoof against the long fibers of Rarity's main room rug. "About that, Rarity."
"It will wait for just a moment," insisted Rarity. "Opalescence is on a very strict schedule. She's getting a little old and set in her ways, but once the clock strikes one--" The nearby grandmother clock obediently chimed a single time and Rarity floated a bowl of cat food over to the elaborate cat dining area. "There we go, Opal, darling. Time for din-din."
There was a noticeable lack of cat in the area.
Rarity turned to look at Twilight, who promptly exclaimed, "It's not my fault! I mean I had been so good for so long, but--"
"You... ate my cat?" Rarity stared at her friend for the longest time, seeming not to breathe. Then she inhaled. Held it for a time. And let it back out. "She was getting old. She widdled in my yarn last week, you know."
"I'm sorry," said Twilight with a sniff. "Can I do anything to make it up to you?"
"Oh, pish posh." Rarity made a dismissive gesture with a flip of one hoof. "You can go with me out to Fluttershy's and help me pick out a new one, I suppose, if that will make you feel better. One who won't widdle on my yarn, of course."
"That... might be a little difficult," admitted Twilight. "Restraining order. I may have gotten a little.... snacky the last time I was over at her house." Her eyes shifted from side to side, then focused on a new target. "Speaking of which, since you don't need that cat food any more, do you mind if I...."