Apr
2nd
2017
An advertisement · 8:15pm Apr 2nd, 2017
Beware of Burrowers!
Are you beset by burrowing vermin?
Are there strange noises in your cellar?
Do foul odours plague your dwelling?
Have no fear, residents of Canterlot, for the Crown shall protect you!
Hasten oneself to the nearest Crown provided callbox and seek help!
There is nothing to fear, not with the Underwatch on patrol!
The Underwatch—noble heroes who work round the clock to keep you safe!
Do you have aspirations of being a hero—if so, apply today!
Live a life of adventure—dare to defy the darkness!
This advertisement paid for by the Lord Mayor of Canterlot.
For all inquiries, please go to your local guard outpost.
All funeral costs to be covered by the Crown in the event of an untimely demise.
(*) We offer excellent medical insurance and cover all funeral expenses. Sorry, we do not offer life insurance.
(**) Enlistment bonuses for anypony with any of the following skills: Flamethrower, grenade, demolitions, heavy weapons, and flamethrower.
(***) Yes, we know we said flamethrowers twice. We like flamethrowers. Feel free to bring your own.
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Not responsible for deaths caused by flamethrower usage in the sewer or the sudden ignition of gasses.
4481368 Killing things with fire is a great attitude to have! It is encouraged!
IIRC, you've mentioned tanks being moved south...
Well, it seems to me that they need some thermobaric rounds for the main gun. Ya know, for clearing out caves and tunnels...
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermobaric_weapon
4481372
Let's flood the sewers with something flammable, close all lids with extra magic protection, throw a burning match into the last and close it. Flambéed rat, coming up.
4481408
Physics states that this is a bad idea.
If I hold a firecracker in the flat of my hand and it explodes, it is harmless. It might sting a little, but harmless.
If I close my hand into fist, the same firecracker might blow my fingers off.
Igniting gasses in a pressurised, sealed environment is dangerous.
4481413
Sorry. Forgot to mention the various pressure relieve valve-portals into Tartarus and on other enemy states.
They cover funeral costs! Damn. Not many would do that, that shit's expensive.
Clearly, all available evidence suggests that Equestria is a very dangerous place.
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And in completely unrelated news, the prices of "meat-onna-stick" snacks sold by griffin food vendors like Mr "Pluck-Me-Own-Pinfeathers" Gordon have plummeted do to sudden, inexplicable glut of "local sourced, free-range, organic, and humane and sustainably harvested Rodentia"...
4481491
If they are sustainably harvested, then they are doing it wrong and Flicker'll be pissed.
4481538
I guess it depends on what "their" goal actually is
It's either that or a Godling. Pick your poison.
4481368 Yeah, about that...
Shame he wasn't standing on it, natural selection at work again.
Didn't know Spud had powers?
And then this also entered my view, canon precedent for catching devices.
HERE WE GO BITCHES
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4481428
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louisville_sewer_explosions
I lived through this, granted I was only 10 at the time, but talk about traumatic! Not to mention one of the greatest generators of pop-culture in KY at the time. "Were where you when the sewers blew?"