Marching on · 9:26pm Apr 1st, 2017
I remanifest from wild, internetless parts! And what do I find but no less than a hundred and sixty-five notifications of various stripes, mostly pertaining to The Commander's Shilling, which must have lingered in the Feature Box much longer than I'd expected, though I'd scarcely expected it to end up there in the first place. To everyone who clapped eyes on it and liked, faved, commented, or at least didn't recoil immediately in disgust, thank you. 
You're all excellent. Even you.
As promised as well, strange stars have aligned in the sky and a new unreasonably long chapter of Wedding March should be ready and waiting. This one should give an indication of some of the general mayhem that should await in future chapters, so if you think it warrants a tag tweak or suchlike, let me know. I've no great track record for judging these things myself.
Only a few more centuries till the next one. Sit tight. 
I am always immediately suspicious of chapters that appear on April Fools. They are often tricks. Even my own update today was a ruse.
I see through you, Carabas!
4480132
Hey, I'd happily fool you with an April Fool's chapter. But then innocents might be unjustly caught in the April Fools crossfire, and I don't want to live with that on my conscience.
4480168
I demand that you begin writing April Fools chapters exclusively for me from next year onwards.
4480173
Dammit, man, half of FIMFiction probably already suspects the depths of our torrid passion. Once we start writing exclusive things for one another, then the veil of secrecy will be gone for good. Gone, I say.
4480211
I say we just make it official already and get it over with. I mean, at this point, the only people we're fooling are ourselves.
So... would you two prefer privacy or an audience?
Or perhaps a chaperone? I hear Idol Hooves has returned from the Crystal Kingdom.
4481487
If 4480225 and I require any chaperoning, he has plenty of eldritch monstrosities at his beck and call with which to ensure our virtue. Or lack thereof.
4481488
What you and I do is the furthest thing from virtuous.
4481514
Yes, but so long as your eldritch monstrosities don't know that, propriety can be maintained.
4481524
I think you'll have a hard time keeping a secret from such beings.